I reached into my hallow
jean pocket
the rough interior
brushed against my knuckles

I searched for my silver key
but couldn’t find it

a ripple of fear surged from my chest  
and formed a pit in the middle of my stomach

‘where is my key?!! WHERE IS MY KEY!!!??’
I internally screamed

defeated my mom turned to my dad and asked,

“what did we do wrong?”

He sighed

“I really don’t know.”


this is the third time i’ve heard this conversation in the past month

I look myself in the mirror and ask myself the same thing

my trauma is not valid
because others have been through worse than me

I looked in your eyes for something
honestly don’t know what for


but those eyes were blank

and they told me

“what are you looking at?”

with a scoff and harshness

I opened my white closet door

the only light coming from the sleepy sun

it was 5 o’clock in the evening
and the sun was slowly gliding down my
singular gray wall

it was serene

but it’s fleeting presence made itself known to my face and onto my newly exposed clothes

I shuffled quickly through those now orange
tinted clothes
flipping over dresses and skirts

desperately

searching for my favorite hoodie

the green one with the white letters
I bought in OBX the previous summer

a classic


But I couldn’t find it
and the suns orange light was quickly slipping away

And then it was gone

ruffling through the white bag
i found exactly what I wanted

the chips…

my sadness craved it