Life's too short to live in fear of someone that you love,
Don't waste a second changing yourself its them that's not enough,
Don't let people in that lie, honestly, I stress.
Truthfully, dishonesty will leave your soul depressed.
Should anyone raise a hand to you,
you better raise one back,
Never show your weaknesses,
or qualities you lack...
we've all been through horrific ****,
some of us worse than others.
  it's made me who I am today
I'm stronger than my mother
Finally remember,
never to forget where you have been,
because karma *****, and sure as ****
you will end up there again.

Heidi Shavill
2013

I think I'm getting ****** into the well
Momma dearest, Timmy fell down
Water's filling my mouth, I can't cry out
It's too late to save me now
For years my tears filled the gap
My life had left inside the ground
But drawing from it broke me down
I can only do so much and then I die out
Grab a rope, please, I'm begging you
Pull me out before I drown

The stress is just pulling me down
Maybe I'm just so far gone
It's a disastrous reaction I know
Last call for survivors from my soul

Baby, can you see the sunset on my wrists
I just can't believe what happened to me
Beautifully my veins turned to trees like this
My arms were healed but now they bleed
Purple and pink gave way to red
I see so many things when I look down right now
And I'm not sure I want it to leave
I think it's such inspiration, you know
There's so much art on my skin, so fully grown
Baby, don't worry, it'll be done soon

The stress is just pulling me down
Maybe I'm just so far gone
It's a disastrous reaction I know
Last call for survivors from my soul

I used to have hope, but not now
My insecurities caused me agonies, you know
Last call, Mayday, I'm going the **** down
My parachute won't open, I'll hit the ground
It'll be so lovely, I'll see stars as I fall
I wonder if I'll see the ones I named after you at all
I hope not though, it'd make me regret the jump
It's my own doing and it's got me gone
Momma, I'm sorry my heart won't swell
Three sizes too small and now it's all gone to hell

This ******* stress pulled me down
And it's all my fault that I'm so far gone
I'm a disastrous creation I know
Last call for survivors from my soul

don't get your hopes up
don't bank on my love
don't tell yourself that
i'm the only one
cause i swear to you dear
and this time it's true
you're a warm summer's day
i'm a hailstorm
i will ruin you.

You had tracks on your arms
that led to stations
that didn't exist.

Just a list of lines
falling off and around
your wrists.

Open all hour wounds
on forearm forecourt,
that your parents won’t find out about.

Happy faces never hide
humble beginnings
in a house like that.

alone in your arms
alone i lay
alone here tonight
i don't need you to stay
maybe i''m numb
maybe i'm crazy
maybe it's the way
my vision goes hazy
but i know you're here
i can feel your touch
your arms hold me tight
but it's still not enough
i still feel empty
i still feel that void
i'm drowning in confusion
my sanity has been destroyed
i can't shake this feeling
it rots me to the core
and despite your strong arms
i don't want this anymore
i've been tossed to the side
and thrown in the trash
it's been a hell of a ride
but there's no turning back
and maybe you're different
and maybe i'm wrong
and maybe you're the reason
i listen to love songs
but until i can breathe
and my hands stop shaking
my back will be turned
cause i can't stand faking
i can no longer deny
the ache in my bones
"it's not you, it's me"
i sound like a drone
i'm a train off it's tracks
derailed by my thoughts
i don't want to hurt you
but i'm  twisted in knots
i'm an unsolvable puzzle
a mystery to myself
so walk out the door
there's nothing here left
it kills me to say
you're not what i'm missing
so please forget about this
no more reminiscing
one night of bliss
won't set the course
don't look in my eyes
they're filled with remorse
so alone i'll remain
alone here tonight
i'm sorry my darling
the time is not right
but don't give up hope
cause someday you will see
i'll move past this
it'll be just you and me
i'm fighting real hard
to figure this out
but i can't lead you on
or fill myself with doubt
so hold me if you want
it's at your own risk
but when the sun rises
i'll be dust in the wind.