Ryan: Poems

88 · Apr 2021

Mister Sun

Ryan Apr 2021

Hello Mister Sun
It's been twelve hours since I've seen you
I haven't slept since then
But it's good to know
Someone will always be there for me

87 · Oct 2021

flags

Ryan Oct 2021

flags

how foolish of me to think it could last
feels so slow yet somehow so fast
and as i wondered when the time had past
all the red flags returned to full mast
without a trace you were gone in a flash
the flags turned white and i surrendered at last

87 · Sep 2021

vagabond

Ryan Sep 2021

vagabond

life is plain
it's clear to see
how time ticks on
so tortuously

insignificant
yet so much to do
can't get complacent
no time to lose

so off i go
as i get old
without a home
tales left untold

don't look sad
when i say
i'm a vagabond
and i can't stay

86 · Apr 2021

Watching Paint Dry

Ryan Apr 2021

Watching Paint Dry

Shiny coat
Glistening in the light
If watching paint dry is wrong
I don't want to be right

If Michael from VSauce was here
He'd ask, "What is wet?"
And I'd say:
Experience it. Place your hand on the wall.
But don't actually
But imagine you did
Imagine your hand on that wall
Returning with a sea of red
Like you're ******* the life force from it
That is what wet is
The ability to **** the life force from something
That would otherwise be dry
Do you understand, Michael?

And as a matter of fact
The painter's name was Michael
And after staring at this wall I realize
That he missed a spot

Looking patiently at the wall
By my side, a tennis ball
Outside it is snowing
But this ball needs throwing
But I need to keep it clean
To keep it green
I cry
Oh, how I cry
When will my nerf darts fly?
When will this paint dry?

86 · Aug 2021

em dash shortcut

Ryan Aug 2021

em dash shortcut

copy and paste is over and done—we just need alt + 0151 !

use your number pad, make sure it's turned on

86 · Oct 2021

potato acceptance

Ryan Oct 2021

potato acceptance

once a month
when you feel like ****
just become a potato
today i was a russet

- long and large,
with a thick, rough skin
not ashamed to say i had
a high starch amount within

i can be eaten mashed, boiled, or baked
the latter is easier from my tolerance break

today i did nothing

and that's ok

86 · Sep 2021

the after-before-life

Ryan Sep 2021

the after-before-life

the first law of thermodynamics states that:
energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only altered

the dictionary defines death as
the cessation of life

this is contradictory
as all life is equivalent to energy
life cannot be destroyed,
only altered

and so,
"death" is just the transfer of your energy
to microorganisms who feed on your body
who then continue the cycle
dispersing your energy across the universe

so why be afraid of it?

death as you know it
does not exist
you are afraid of nothing
why be afraid of anything?

why be afraid to talk to your crush?
to talk to the person on the bus?
to give to someone all your trust?
to accept former actions as unjust?

you live
you learn
you transfer your energy
and the cycle continues for all eternity

you are the culmination of trillions of years of work
and the producer of infinite more
step down from your fears
let the story unfold

say hi to a stranger today

86 · Jul 2021

ned lamont

Ryan Jul 2021

ned lamont

nutmeg ned sheds his bed-head, upon signing he said,
"elephants lament lamont's amendment
so i smirk, smile, and smugly smoke
for i, ned, am a newlywed ****-head"

stay woke

84 · Jul 2021

chartreuse

Ryan Jul 2021

chartreuse

Yuh kid went through years of abuse
So don't be tryna make a truce
When ya see em downin the chartreuse Chartreuse
Like juice, they're socially anxious and gotta cut loose
To get their hands on that ripe red caboose!

Cuz tyin' a noose is like killin' a goose
You end up with god in a tragic deuce

83 · Jul 2021

p.h.o.t.o.s.y.n.t.h.e.s.i.s

Ryan Jul 2021

p.h.o.t.o.s.y.n.t.h.e.s.i.s

i like to think we evolved from plants
and once we roll up our sleeves
we can photosynthesize sunlight
if we just believe

gimme an A! gimme a T! gimme an A T P!

83 · Jul 2021

stop stealing my bong

Ryan Jul 2021

stop stealing my ****

99% isopropyl alcohol
a **** ton of epsom salt
gets the grime and grease off the piece
none of which is my fault

82 · Aug 2021

house of dreams

Ryan Aug 2021

house of dreams

**** this ****

we need to take our own land
build a house and live off the grid
no one gives a **** about the law of the land
we'll fight the law and well, we'll win

there's an old saying:
if you build it, he will come
and we'll be waiting
in our house with our rifles
making a sea of blue blood

82 · Apr 2021

"two week quarantine"

Ryan Apr 2021

"two week quarantine"

across the seas, danger lies
a villain with big goals
a villain of microscopic size

within the schools, children chatter
enthused by prospects of freedom
not knowing how much it matters

over the intercom, principal screams
"we'll be closed for two weeks,
for a brief quarantine"

fatal two weeks, turned to forever
now we've grown farther apart
as we couldn't come together

81 · Aug 2021

fixing yr sleep schedule / sunrise on the beach

Ryan Aug 2021

fixing yr sleep schedule / sunrise on the beach

sleep late and sleep in
been doin this **** too often

the late birds don't get no worms
just missed meetings and coffee burns

no more!

no more will we step to the beat of your drum
we have to subvert the circadian rhythm!

eyes open a smidge wider
fight to pull that all-nighter
whatever you do, don't think about yawns
head to the beach before the break of dawn!

nighttime won't stop us from taking a walk
the beach is a board and the sand is the chalk

clouds are colored cotton-candy pink
the horizon is skittles and the sky is a sink

the world is illuminated with purplish hues
as the seagull lord takes in the view

then suddenly,

this CIRCLE comes up from beyond the edge!
looking magnificently ever so orange and red!
it rises and brightens the oceanic titans
as the religious fishies are forever enlightened!

minds rejoice with a profound new wisdom
the circle has subverted our circadian rhythm!

i haven't slept in 32 hours

81 · Sep 2021

ketchup dispenser

Ryan Sep 2021

ketchup dispenser

"what else is new?!"
yelled the fast food crew
watching some ******* dude

put his ******* mouth on the ketchup dispenser nozzle

we live in a society

81 · Jul 2021

add me on pokemon go

Ryan Jul 2021

add me on pokemon go

my buddy said to add him on pokemon go
gave a string of numbers called his 'trainer code'

zero, nine, four, two
piplup, snivy, and pikachu!

seven, two, four, three
geodude, chansey, and bunnelby!

zero, four, four, seven
i can't think of any pokemon that rhyme with seven

i will send gifts pls add me

EDIT: fennekin is close enough to seven, right?

80 · Jul 2021

scooby-doo on the armenian genocide

Ryan Jul 2021

******-doo on the armenian genocide

ruh-roh raggy
the rurks in the rottoman rempire
are roing to rurder all the rarmenians
rut are re roing to do, raggy?

around 1 million armenians were sadly killed due to the ensuing ****** snack shortage in WW1

80 · Nov 2021

vagabond meeting

Ryan Nov 2021

vagabond meeting

aligning stars
meet underneath
aurora borealis

bonfire ablaze
souls colliding
energy speaks

and the seldom-told-stories
are absorbed so eloquently

remnants left by hot coals
superpositions on the earth

now adjourned
for our journeys
to be revisited
next lifetimes

and apart, we think
as speech wasn't a need
onward and onward, wherever onward may lead

78 · Aug 2021

woodstock

Ryan Aug 2021

woodstock

nineteen hundred and sixty-nine
when the hippie era was in its prime
half a million gathered on a dairy farm
milking only good vibes and peace charms

they sat in the fields day after day
smoking and tripping to no one's dismay
watching acts play even through the rain
Grateful Dead, CCR, and Jefferson Airplane

now to sum it up, what i really mean
is i wish i had a time machine
because although the 50s had boring old jocks
the 60s had ***, drugs, and Woodstock!

77 · Jul 2021

how to make your poems popular

Ryan Jul 2021

how to make your poems popular

i like writing best when i
subject you all to esoteric subjects
subjective glints of my subpar world

but to make one's poems universally translatable
one has to make them inherently relatable
a subject that i find quite debatable

because where's the fun in poetry writing
if i can't write about my old-man-sighting
wielding a lighter in hand, he tried lighting
spilled gasoline, which was quite frightening!

i think he was on crack

77 · Jul 2021

alms for an ex-leper

Ryan Jul 2021

alms for an ex-*****

Steven Streeter stole a sack of sickled lepers

he shortly sold several and was surrounded by shekels

"All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred." - monty python's life of brian

76 · Apr 2021

exhaust leak

Ryan Apr 2021

exhaust leak

Here we are
Set in stone
Walk the line
No emotion shown

Stay the course
Numbers game
Plan it out
Adulthood came

Time goes fast
Time won't last

Inhale the gas
Inhale the gas
Inhale the gas
Inhale the gas

"Where are we?"
Said the man
"Where are we?"
She repeated again

Nothing makes sense
Let's have fun
Nothing makes sense
We can now run

Life is long
Breathe freedom's song

Logic is gone
Logic is gone
Logic is gone
And that's not so wrong

74 · Apr 2021

Ladybug on a Bag of Grapes

Ryan Apr 2021

Ladybug on a Bag of Grapes

Softly fluttering through the sky
Black polka dots atop a body as
Red as the pictures of my dog's eyes
Break from your flight

Legs pitter pattering
Over the plastic
Seeking a smattering
Of grape essence

Can you comprehend
What you're walking on?
Do you understand how
Bad it is for the environment?

No, you can't
Cause you're a
Stupid ***
*******
Piece
Of
****
Ladybug

get off my bag of grapes

based on true events from 3 years ago

74 · Jul 2021

fret buzz

Ryan Jul 2021

fret buzz

"i knows you ain't like medicine
and you knows i love you like a cousin
but ima take you to a doctor
cuz your frets be a' buzzin'"

- a loner from the deep south, to his guitar

74 · Aug 2021

cabin trip // hyttetur

Ryan Aug 2021

cabin trip // hyttetur

months go by without surprise
we work and work all the time
it's only fitting, then
that us 10 men meet
on a fateful august sunrise

adrenaline pumping and bags packed
the road is cold and unforgiving
driving through small towns
with citizen's big frowns
we finally enter the Adirondacks

overcome by beauty

the mountains hear our joyous exclamations
while the tall grass traps their appreciation

magic fills the atmosphere
rolling through the hills
extolling our wondrous thrills
our glorious cheers

as we hear the first crack of a beer

and now,
the worth of all those months of work
is heard
heard by the mountains
heard by the sky
heard by the insects,
crawling on the ground bringing life to the world

but most of all,
it's heard by each other

and our bodies fill with alc and ****
as fires are lit and stories are shared
for to drink and smoke
and laugh and joke
amongst each other

well, i'd say that's beautiful indeed

73 · Aug 2021

out-of-context book quote

Ryan Aug 2021

out-of-context book quote

"...out onto the concrete apron, where the Credit Card elite are tanking up and stretching their legs and tweezing their undershorts out of the aging waxy folds of their scrota, and I am out there carrying a Shell oil can in both hands like a bladder totem, around the corner, to the toilet..."

(Tom Wolfe) The Electric Acid Kool-Aid Test, pg. 17

72 · Jul 2021

adhd

Ryan Jul 2021

adhd

pens are for notating
and also for rotating

fidgets are for spinning
and staring and grinning

poems are for writing
and thinking and rewriting

birds are distracting
and -
oh **** it's a bird!
hehe look at its wings
flapflapflapflap

hehe birds are fun :)

72 · Oct 2021

quarter-life crisis

Ryan Oct 2021

quarter-life crisis

is when you're unsure whether to be more angry at strangers calling you "bud," (because you're not a ******* kid) versus "sir" (and realizing you're ******* older now).

72 · May 2021

killing time

Ryan May 2021

killing time

i deserve a life sentence
for killing all this time
writing these sentences
that occasionally rhyme

you are the witness at the scene of the crime

72 · May 2021

start, don't stop

Ryan May 2021

start, don't stop

the strings have called
i've yet to answer
the voice is appalled
i see visions of a dancer

i hope
someday
i'll be there

don't be late, now
it's inevitable fate, how
long will i wait?
observing all this Dynamite
that Eddie Ate

Good Bye to waiting
Good Bye to setbacks
Good Bye to Eddie

start, don't stop

lest i forget
how dreams flop

72 · Jul 2021

your car is screaming in pain

Ryan Jul 2021

your car is screaming in pain

breakdowns hit in waves of two
first your car, then your mentality
ear and phone are stuck like glue
impatient, can't keep neutrality

'listen'
is an anagram
for 'silent'

fitting
how you ignored
your check engine light

it menacingly stares on your dashboard
screaming 'save me master'
but you have no remorse
'i didn't even WANT an Accord'
and you accelerate faster

you're a stupid bloke and your savings are gone
and your name's a Key & Peele joke, A-A-Ron

look at your car wincing
like a crippled crane
it's screaming desperately in pain

act now or forever take the train

72 · Jul 2021

what do you mean you don't like poetry?

Ryan Jul 2021

what do you mean you don't like poetry?

are you out of your mind?
why not actually read it to see what you find?

ever watched Dead Poets Society?
carpe diem isn't some meaningless lie

because through numerous trials and tribulations
through careful word and phrase manipulation

people write poems that can move your soul
and fill your heart's gaping hole

71 · Sep 2021

first class

Ryan Sep 2021

first class

outta work and driving home
bumping 'First Class' - Rainbow Kitten Surprise
when some ******* comes in front on a bike
now a broken arm and a dark black eye
i'll be ****** if he can make it out of this alive

well thanks a lot, *******
you coulda looked both ways on the ****** street
now i've got paramedics and angry police
wondering if i feel any remorse for the scene
well nO, he just ruined the **** song for me

this is fiction nothing could ever ruin that song

70 · Sep 2021

who said?

Ryan Sep 2021

who said?

scrambled eggs and ham
breakfast is a scam!
who said we need it?
who said we need it?

9-5 all the time
working is a ******* crime!
who said we need it?
who said we need it?

bourgeoisie pizza rats
eating only makes you fat!
who said we need it?
who said we need it?

perpetual existential strife
i don't need a ******* life
who said i needed it?
who said?

70 · Jul 2021

Lynn's limping limerick

Ryan Jul 2021

Lynn's limping limerick

limping Lynn could never get a win
she drowned her sorrows in pounds of gin
then one day
she went to AA
and now she knows where to begin!

:)

70 · Aug 2021

skateboards

Ryan Aug 2021

skateboards

i hoard skateboards!
you could say im a skateboard hoarding lord
but i ignore all other board stores
besides Zumiez
so i guess you could say im a skateboard hoarding lord
who wants to pull the ******* cord

bored

69 · Jul 2021

happy 4th, pt. 2

Ryan Jul 2021

happy 4th, pt. 2

****** corporations **** cows cause creeps need eating-meat
to meet their meat-eating criminal companions
coming close to a cul-de-sac near you!

69 · Sep 2021

goblins

Ryan Sep 2021

goblins

as i get older i realize
those who lack empathy
are like goblins in the grass
they become easier to spot
as the seasons pass

so in the future
i'll cut the grass
and build a garden
filled only with plants
that repel goblins

but as i see them now
i imagine in my head
crushing them under my toes
and stealing their eyes
as the saying goes...

68 · Jul 2021

rosacea

Ryan Jul 2021

rosacea

the day i self-diagnosed myself
with rosacea in my face
is the day the assassination
of the haitian president took place

i wonder if i self-diagnose myself with mumps
might something happen to former president _ _ _ _ _?

no political hate in any way, i just like making rhymes :)

66 · Aug 2021

the peanut butter is out

Ryan Aug 2021

the peanut butter is out

i shout and i shout!
galloping spoons giving gobfuls
into gaping mouth holes

it's creamy n dreamy versus chunky n funky!
in the great grocery war
for the ******* junkies

66 · Aug 2021

homeless Moe

Ryan Aug 2021

homeless Moe

homeless Moe's not an average joe
knows what he has, asks for nothing more

he doesn't beg nor cry nor plead nor preach
he sleeps under a bridge and lives in peace

collects bottles and cans to buy himself food
despite this life, he's always in a good mood

now just think,
if we had more homeless Moe's
would it be easier to convince the homeowning Joe's
to help?

this poem is based on a real person by the name of David Morris. He lives under a bridge in Boston and collects bottles and cans for $17 a day. He does not beg for anything, doesn't hold up signs, doesn't do drugs. He is content. He is honest. And he's a veteran.

I heard about him through my coworker, whose family asked him if he'd like to be supported in obtaining a home. He declined. All he wants is enough money to visit his parent's grave in upstate New York. That is literally all he wants. That is literally all he wants and it's blowing my mind.

There is a gofundme set up for him here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/housing-fundraiser-for-dave-morris-homeless-vetera?qid=97d6f5a11b1e79cd4e9943a62017a6b6

All money goes to David. I get nothing. I donated $20 prior to publishing this. You do not have to feel obligated whatsoever to donate. But any donations, and any sharing of this story to others, is greatly appreciated. Have a lovely day :)

64 · Jul 2021

to my annoying neighbors:

Ryan Jul 2021

to my annoying neighbors:

why do you keep screaming at your kids?

are your lives that miserable that you think the key
is yelling into the void to set you free?
because im kinda busy writing stupid poetry
and im not the only one on this street who can say it bothers me
because your f-bombs make this place like nagasaki
and i dream of slamming your heads into your ****** oak tree,
and kidnapping your children so they can see
how beautiful the world is meant to be

and holy ****, that thick boston accent
how do you people have *** like that?
"mm smaht pahk yuh 4-inch cahk right ther ***"
*******

62 · Jul 2021

phoebe bridgers

Ryan Jul 2021

phoebe bridgers

bridgers bridges binging pigeons bringing
phoebe's folk-rock fusion for epiphany-flinging
supreme shape-shifting sad song singing

62 · Jul 2021

yip

Ryan Jul 2021

yip

dripping lips and flipping crips
chipping chips and shipping ships
gripping hips and whipping nips
some fun things the kids find hip!

bimbamboppitybip

62 · Jul 2021

dirty ducks

Ryan Jul 2021

***** ducks

ducks' ***** dock down dorks' doors dying doing deep dumpster diving, Dorsey deliberated

62 · Jul 2021

fleet foxes

Ryan Jul 2021

fleet foxes

record stores advising vinyl finds for
Fleet Foxes fans shan't shy away from
showing the Shore album, an amalgam
of folk and stunning songwriting, starting
with Wading in Waist-High Water

started a vinyl collection today

61 · Jul 2021

i steal groceries

Ryan Jul 2021

i steal groceries

stirring pots at Big Lots
adding lots of Motts and rotten apricots!
neither of which ever got bought
workers don't know i do it a lot
stealing groceries is pretty hot!
telling corporations they got got!

60 · Aug 2021

q-tip

Ryan Aug 2021

q-tip

you're like a q-tip
you think you help by getting the problems out
but really you just shove them deeper inside me and make them worse

it's fine; i was tired of hearing your ******* anyways

59 · Jul 2021

meth anthem

Ryan Jul 2021

**** anthem

****! ****! i need ****!
enough to feel a sense of death!
adderall's not the same at all!
if you've got the real **** pls gimme a call

pls

59 · May 2021

just like him

Ryan May 2021

just like him

a half century ago,

a child is raised
to have one of his own
it's life's funny way
of keeping me unknown

connected is the family tree
branches held so tight
won't break so easily
no matter all my might

maybe i'll be a science ****
or a mathematician
whatever it is, they say that
i'll be just like him

i said i have to come clean
i'm not who you want me to be
so i bought a can of gasoline
to burn this family tree

after the flame, after the ashes
the light starts to dim
i think, maybe my son will hate me
just like him