the road is boring!
i'm tired of this ride
there's a river over there!
let's pull off to the side

"but don't you wonder
how many people have di-"

"-SHHHH
let's jump in this river"

test it out:
current's a bit strong
and the water's a bit cool
but the width ain't too long
and it beats public pools

take this pebble!
throw it off the edge!
yay it's deep enough!
NOW LET'S ****** JUMP


...


the squirrels are out of popcorn
30 minutes have passed
"we shouldn't've smoked 3 bow-"
"-THE TREES ARE GETTING ANXIOUS!"

just don't think!
thinking is evil!
try as we might
try as we will

so what if we're
high and high?
we'll totally jump,
by and b-

-"AHHHH FU-"SPLASH

"SWIM! SWIM ******* IT! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED SWIMMING?!"

"i can feel the water coursing through my nostrils"

"AND I CAN FEEL THE SQUIRRELS POINTING AND LAUGHING!"

cough "we're way too high for this"

"whattaya meannnn"

"i mean this river is like
10 feet deep at best
and we're like
basically drowning"

"alright why are you making sense
i think you're
i think you're sobering up"

well, regardless,
we made it to the other side
although it took a bit
"now how do we get back?"
"...see that cliff up there?"
"ohhh ****-"

sitting with a friend after dark
a car pulls up alongside the park
a young man walks out alone
"hey guys someone stole my phone!
i was lying in the grass when it fell out
i asked someone to help me out
he called it, called it, and called it again
then found it and ran
******* it man!"

"**** bro that's a tough blow
did you happen to recall his info?"

"well i remember his car and i believe his name
i'm just going through a lot and i'm sick of these games"

"do you think we can call it?"

"he powered it off..
stupid ******* *****," he scoffed
"guys i just don't know what to do. im going through a lot of mental health issues right now, and i don't mean to get too dark but i've seriously considered killing myself recently. that phone had a lot of personal videos of me documenting my thoughts and whatnot. this is driving me crazy"

"hey man trust me i've been there before
you gotta find someone to help you through the door
my case worker helped me a lot with that
my suicidal thoughts are a thing of the past
now do you think we could perhaps call the cops?"

"well it's late, i'd probably be stuck here a while right?
i'll just drive to my moms to spend the night
**** i wish i'd found you guys first. thank you"
and he drove off

my friend then turned to me
"i should've given him a hug, man
i feel like if i asked him if he wanted a hug, and started walking towards him with my arms outstretched and just did it
he would've started crying
that would've helped him more than anything"

if i won the lottery
most folks would ask me
to share
and to their dismay
i would say nay
turn and walk away

now the ones who ask nothing—
the ones who enjoy my company
walk to the lighthouse
get coffee with me
the ones who know what it means to be
genuine people

they are the ones
who'll receive my money

"at the mental hospital
there was this young teen—we'll call him Derek
he would incessantly brag about all the children he'd *****
the workers would give him one cup of OJ a day
because he was such a ****** up ****
and they had that in their hospital notes
'Derek only gets one cup of OJ a day'
that was all he was fed

now me—well the workers liked me
because i never gave them any trouble, i guess
and i'd be sitting there chugging four/five cups a day
watching Derek only get one
and at first i thought that was kind of unfair and ****** up
but i realized something
humans reciprocate good actions
do people nice and people'll do you nice in return
i guess i'd never internalized that before
that ******* like Derek get their OJ restricted
but being stuck in a mental hospital for years really lets you think
that was the point in my life i learned empathy"

in a world where statements are judged
through the lens of a microscope
how does it feel
to be right onstage?
to be picked clean of all your cherries
to be a pawn in the infamous journalistic cycle
processing those cherries
feeding them to consumers
who eat too many
and complain about you
as the journalists win
they always do

yes, severe illness is more common amongst overweight individuals
yes, vaccines help
yes, government is too focused on treating symptoms rather than root causes to health issues
yes, the global economy would save trillions if healthy habits were more commonplace

but,
it is well known that everyone is awesome
it is well known that CEOs ****
it is well known that journalists are trustworthy
it is well known that you've lost a few customers today

because in a world where facts are opinions
and opinions are facts
maybe you should just shut up
and stick to the salads, jon

we don't make the rules

bedazzled in tattoos
he comes through attics
finds phones to steal
he's the phone fanatic!

he's got hands with a face
has all the bandwidth and space
and when he steals in broad daylight
he leaves every possible trace

because the phone fanatic's a phony
stole a phone once and thinks he's a god
we all know he's a one-trick pony
begrudgingly rocking his worn out dad-***

he's got a farmer's tan and a southern drawl
always picks up when his mother calls

lives and dies inside the coal mines
gives to charity in his spare time

hunts by himself for wild game to eat
because he can't stand industrialized factory-farmed meat

wears a leather jacket with a gold stitched title
looking ready to **** riding his motorcycle

and it's electric

in a thin line,
thunderclouds roll in
late afternoon while the sun is still shining

in the trees,
bluebirds sing the blues
their tunes escaping sounding ever so confused

in the air,
the wind is howling
like wolves chasing prey, teeth clenched, and growling

in the city,
rain crashes down
causing earthworms to dance as drops shake the ground

in your beautiful eyes
watching nature's great fight
it's the never-ending battle between darkness and light

im sorry

the effervescent ebbs and flows
of the prepubescent testosterone shows
over phosphorescent nighttime snow
dreaming prescient futures that nobody knows

plastic bags sadly sag
when filled with food that people snag

cause even though shoppers are enthused
the bags are sad knowing they won't be reused