"...out onto the concrete apron, where the Credit Card elite are tanking up and stretching their legs and tweezing their undershorts out of the aging waxy folds of their scrota, and I am out there carrying a Shell oil can in both hands like a bladder totem, around the corner, to the toilet..."

nineteen hundred and sixty-nine
when the hippie era was in its prime
half a million gathered on a dairy farm
milking only good vibes and peace charms

they sat in the fields day after day
smoking and tripping to no one's dismay
watching acts play even through the rain
Grateful Dead, CCR, and Jefferson Airplane

now to sum it up, what i really mean
is i wish i had a time machine
because although the 50s had boring old jocks
the 60s had ***, drugs, and Woodstock!

the road is boring!
i'm tired of this ride
there's a river over there!
let's pull off to the side

"but don't you wonder
how many people have di-"

"-SHHHH
let's jump in this river"

test it out:
current's a bit strong
and the water's a bit cool
but the width ain't too long
and it beats public pools

take this pebble!
throw it off the edge!
yay it's deep enough!
NOW LET'S ****** JUMP


...


the squirrels are out of popcorn
30 minutes have passed
"we shouldn't've smoked 3 bow-"
"-THE TREES ARE GETTING ANXIOUS!"

just don't think!
thinking is evil!
try as we might
try as we will

so what if we're
high and high?
we'll totally jump,
by and b-

-"AHHHH FU-"SPLASH

"SWIM! SWIM ******* IT! HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED SWIMMING?!"

"i can feel the water coursing through my nostrils"

"AND I CAN FEEL THE SQUIRRELS POINTING AND LAUGHING!"

cough "we're way too high for this"

"whattaya meannnn"

"i mean this river is like
10 feet deep at best
and we're like
basically drowning"

"alright why are you making sense
i think you're
i think you're sobering up"

well, regardless,
we made it to the other side
although it took a bit
"now how do we get back?"
"...see that cliff up there?"
"ohhh ****-"

i hoard skateboards!
you could say im a skateboard hoarding lord
but i ignore all other board stores
besides Zumiez
so i guess you could say im a skateboard hoarding lord
who wants to pull the ******* cord

what is it that separates the wheat from the chaff?
the planets from the dwarf planets?
and who defines such matters?
well, that would be the International Astronomical Union
or the IAU
(or the I and U)

there are 3 conditions
of which 2 are shared by both planets and dwarf planets

1. they both orbit around the sun
(as we orbit around each other)

2. they both have sufficient love...so that they assume a hydrostatic equilibrium (heart) shape
(i may have fudged some details)

now the one distinction between the two
is that planets must
3. "clear the neighborhood" around their orbit
i.e. be gravitationally dominant such that there are no other nearby bodies of comparable size

and i write this application to the IAU today
so that we will no longer be dwarf planets

for nobody in this neighborhood
nor any neighborhood
could ever have a love as dominant
as how much we love each other <3

bugs are scary

creepy crawly legs
trek up my own
biting my skin
feeding on my blood
for nothing but sustenance

when it comes to
bugs,
and me,
and the meadow im lying in
there simply isn't enough room
for all parties involved

so i took shrooms

there is no pain
i feel no bugs
yet we see all bugs
all bugs are dancing
in a constant state of dancing
they dance and they eat
we dance and we eat
in the meadow

for the meadow is home
there has never been another home but the meadow
the meadow encapsulates all beings that matter
the bugs
only the bugs

for i am the bugs
WE are the BUGS
THE BUGS ARE US
WE ARE THE CHILDREN
WE ARE THE WORLD
WE WILL SING UNTO
YOU, THE MEADOW
ANCIENT HYMNS FROM THE UNDERGROUND
LISTEN WITH YOUR SOUL
WE ARE DANCING

and we have danced
we danced until the sun stopped setting
for the sun can never rest
will never rest
in the presence of us, the bugs
the beautiful, beautiful bugs
we love the bugs
i love the bugs

bugs used to be scary

Thinking contemplation
leads to revelation
seeking information
for a transformation
In a simulation?
this entire nation
an insinuation
of greater creation
or the ultimate narration
piques our fascination
less human conversation
more alienation
engenders more destruction
than annihalation
so, forget this complication
& make life a Celebration.