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Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
Four years ago you 1st messaged me.
asked me to listen to your music. i did.
i was impressed, with that i had told you i would always be your number on fan.
i was off and on with my ex i didn't see the signs that were pointing me to you
i ignored them. i kept you as a friend, i listed to your music all the time cause it calmed me. hearing your voice. and then one day me and my ex was broken up
we had always flirted with each other but we kinda leaned in to far before we realized what we were doing.
we were but to change the game for the both of us for the rest of out life. we were in love with other people trying to date one another.
i member our 1st date, i didn't know at the time but this was going to make me change my mind about everything i thought i planned.
you were all about your music and working and your ex.
i was all about me and school and my ex.
i broke it off when i was starting to love you and him at the same time
i didn't think it was fair and you had made it easier by yelling at me.
so i broke up with you and couple days later i was back with my ex and we were at an aqword stage in our relationship.
even when i was with my ex i couldn't get you off my mind... he made things easier by cheating and lying to me.
finally i was done with it august 30th
i was officially done with him.
days passed we started talking again
we had been talking off and on in between me dating him and thanksgiving rolled around
i was at my sisters and i told you and you came over.
we hung out and we did the one thing i had been wanting cents our 1st date
we had kissed but that kiss lead to other unexpected things
we had to say our good byes and you made me cry that night by saying you were leaving it broke me
i didn't want you to go
and now your staying,
December 17th you had spent the night with me for the 1st time
i felt everything
and again on December 18th as well
we talked about your music, and how you are losing some of your note books with raps about me in them
us living together...
laughing even while i was sitting on top of you naked
i didn't even remember going to sleep but waking up in your arms the warmth and security of it is bliss.
you will read this when i show you
you wont understand why i wrote it completely
i just know that it scares me
that i cant put my feelings in to words
how love doesn't even describe what i feel when i'm with you and when you leave me
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
I was your #1 fan from the beginning
never lost me never went anywhere
we talk about anything
in the beginning I was always nervous and worried about everything but you
I didn’t want to admit it I was to suborn
We tried giving it a shot
it was a busta just like your 1st rap
we were both to worried about ex to see
we had the best in front
your music is something ill always support
ill always be the number one fan
love your voice hearing it go so fast
burning every ***** out there
for the love of a rap we love each other
I’d put my love on your music
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
She was addicted to writing, just like he was
addicted to rap. her dad loathed her mother
the words she heard from his voice calmed her
that love that grew threw the music
a walk of love from Rap
he dips in to player games
is there fame in money without love?
is the sound bored better than a party with your girl?
They love in the same way
Music is music
love is love
rap is rap
writing is writing
They walk in a love of rap.
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
I Do not look to you with questioning eyes
For I do not possess the answers they seek
I cannot taste the bitter sweetness of your tongue,
or smell the withered flowers along your path
My heart beats with less rhythm than your blues
I am unable to stumble through your dark mind,
for you are poet undiscovered
Your answers are hidden deep within a mind and a pen
For you hide behind a painted closed window
Pushing too little but arriving late
Not aware of your own greatness
Solitarily, and feeling sorry for yourself
When instead, the world celebrates sad clowns
but you do not let laughter mix with your grey sky tears
I myself, see images of your words poured out on limitless pages, sculpted your words have substance Becoming living
and breathing beings I wish you to reveal to us your cherished words show them to a forgiving and un-forgiven world
Risk the grasping hands of rejection
True courage will reveal your greatest work
Without risk you cannot will not bleed
Instead, days will become years Yesterday will slide into tomorrow
All the while the world would be less A shadow of what it could have been in a place of unawareness
Oblivious to its own lacking.
All because of a missing Unexpressed Silent Unexplored voice!
Or maybe Just Maybe One Letter A tiny little letter will grow into a word Several strung together
Then we will all be a witnesses to the magic of a singular voice of a wide eyed dreamer
Then you will feel that collective sigh as other broken dreamers applaud you for on that day
if only you possess the courage all will know
That you truly are and always have been a Poet!
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
You
This warmth inside, they say it is my heart
But all this time it was beat and I didnt noticed till i was with you.
Where did it go? This glowing thing.  This beating pressure.
Where? This spreading feeling. Happy and glowing
While I'm thinking of you. it warms me. But how did you get in?
Sometimes I let people in but do not
understand, its a strange land of undiscovered fellings, but I lived so long in solitude that
everything and nothing passes me by till
you that is, till you, but why does thinking
about you make me warm.
Is it that you live in my heart?
And I no longer fake
the smile upon my face, the curling of
my mouth. If you live inside of me, do
I in you? Can that be true? Do i?
Katrina Zechman Dec 2017
Im sorry,  i didnt know.  Im speachless
I didnt know what to say,  other than sorry.  I made a mistake.  Now your mad.  And now im stuck.  I feel bad cause you lost your work.  So now im as spechleas as we are sunless.  I didnt think.  I know no exscuse..  I still love you even tho im speachless and sunless
Katrina Zechman Jul 2017
6 years ago we met... I cussed you out on the bus because you were laughing at what your firend was saying about me. When we got off at the same bus stop you started talking to me.. you apologized and asked bout where I was from. I told you. We hung out the next cupple of days after that. March 5 2013 while we were laying in my drive way looking at the stars... you asked me to be your girlfriend for the first time. Things were good for a little while... then things went bad... we had broke up for a little while got back together we had got back together before my 14th birthday i rember this day becuase i had went over to your house after school that day.... and man that was an awesome day... little did I know it was going to change my life for the next 5 months.... June 5th 2013 I was turning 14 me and you had *** no this isn't the first time but it was the longest time the we had did it... little did I know... you had did what we talked about for our future now....you had cam in me... the next day June 6th you broke up with me 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. I was so ******. I was so upset. I had only one person to turn to.... Nd that was my bestie. She was there for me. Me and her had hung out every day... I got back with you somewhere in between the pregnancy...but I didn't tell you... I was going to the beach with my bestie one day 5 months later after my birthday and we pulled over at a McDonalds so me and her could ***.... well that day was the worst... I ended up having a miscarige and then my best friend my me tell you only becuase she thought you had the right to know. When I didn't want you to know..... and we're still off and on to this day. And it is now July 26 2017 and I'm 18 years old we were just together 6 weeks ago. And I still am in love with you and I still have no switched up on you.
Not when you lied nd cheated on me countless times.
Not when you left me countless times for your baby mama
Not when you went to jail
Not when you can crieing to me bout your family
Never have I lost my love for you but yet you still can't see that we are actually ment to be cause you always come back to me... you have always needed me... we're best firends... lovers...you will be the man that I want in my life forever if only you can get your **** together. **** why do I love you so much I have no clue .. Nd if anyone that knows me reads this pls don't come up to me and ask me about any of it nd don't judge me for any of this. Okay. Thank you for letting me vent what I needed too.
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