Gods I’m so tired of this..
I never got closure so how do people expect me to get past it..
Gods I just want it to stop because I’m sooo broken over this..
Gods are you even listening?
Can’t one of you make this stop happening?

I can hear you
Chip chip chipping away at your cage.
I helped you
Then got stuck in your place.
How does the freedom I once had taste?
Do you even remember the way these walls closed in on you?
Or do you not care cause now that you’re free it’s not your problem?
Well aren’t you just sooo sweet...

It’s been a years time.
I pretend to be fine
Peachy and refined.
But I’m broken.
Can’t let people hear the words unspoken,
Because no one actually cares about these emotions.
Sometimes you let them out,
Then you get an unhealthy amount
Of awkwardness...
And loneliness.
Because no ones listening to what you have to say,
They just say sorry about your day
Never hearing the awful way
Your heart cracks...
And shatters inside you..
Like a heart attack...
Breaking but what can you do
Except sit there and hide the awkwardness
And loneliness.

I dreamed of you again,
Every time I seem to be able to forget about you and move on,
I dream of you again.
It’s like the cracks in my heart refuse to mend,
It’s like my brain wants a constant reminder of you.
10 years and now all I get is to dream of you again.

I woke with a start and reached for you.
You weren’t there and I remembered why.
I let out a sob and my tears ran black,
Like my tainted soul.
They burned on the way out as well
Like my soul was trying to burn you away from the inside out.
So I sobbed as I forgot you again for another night.
Eventually the tears turned to ice,
My soul freezing out the memory of you,
And I returned to bed, my soul numbed.

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed,
Woke up with something wrong in my head,
Woke up feeling like the living dead.

I woke up to one of those days,
Where things go wrong in so many ways,
Where things on a Tuesday feel like mondays.

I woke up to a black cat crossing me,
Went under a ladder I didn’t see,
Hit a salt shaker and thought well everything comes in three.

But it’s okay,
Is what I tried to say,
As I sat there on a Tuesday that was like a Monday.