I'm not your friend
But I want you
To open up
To me anyway

I wish
I knew
That was implied

In the client
Therapist relationship

My female friend
Never comes

Bleh
You ruined everything

I thought I saw your car today
the blood rushed to my feet ready to run
Though I know you'd never come near me in public
not even to throw a verbal barb to my self esteem
which was your favorite game.
Everything you did was far too meticulously planned.
I remember a time when I thought you would never hurt me,
But now fear freeze frames new faces
Wondering if they will change like you did
Your evolution
sinister,
destruction,
Like a slow soaking rain
that no one notices until the dam breaks
and they are drowning in it.

Occasionally, I am besieged by the cruelty of humanity.
Burning blankets of pain and anger inflame and engulf me.

But with a crack of kindness my hope is restored.
I meet a decent person who helps me out
when I am in need.
I meet a friendly person
who calms me down when I am panicking.
I see my better self reflected in strangers.

Then a ****** mows down
a crowd of innocent bystanders
with a van and a bunch of guns
and I am right ******* back
to where I started from.