So full of hope and innocence at four years old.
Always a good girl did as I was told.
"Come here sis lets play a secret game"
All I felt was shame.
Told "its our little secret mom and dad can't know"
Trying to hide my tears not letting them show.
Withdrawn 6 year old doesn't speak her mind prefers to be alone and read.
Sisters boyfriend "come here I know a fun game but don't tell your sister its our little secret "
Screaming NO in my head but no words come out. I comply to his wishes and pray for it to be over soon.
Sexually confused 8 year old practicing what she learned with friends. The little secret continues.
friends brother caught us and joined in but he wasn't kind.
"If either of you say anything about this I will **** you both"
Having to hide the bruises from my parents was difficult but successful.
****** abuse became the norm for the 14 year old who started letting boys play with her so they would like her but they always left her behind.
By age 16 she wondered why they only wanted *** and why noone wanted to be with her .
She started to wonder if it was something that was wrong with her. She tried harder to make people like her .
But she found out they only wanted ***. So she started using them instead .
By age 18 she was so sexually active that people called her easy and a **** and that's when she realized she didn't even enjoy ***. So she gave it up for new years resolution
At age 19 6 months without *** met someone we talked for hours.
Instantly became friends and then at the 11 month mark I broke my no *** rule.
20 and pregnant scared not knowing what to do everyone telling me to marry him cuz its the right thing to do so my child is not a *******.
So I convinced myself I loved him which I did have love for him but he hadn't earned my love yet
21 alone with a daughter with no clue where her husband is decided to go to college.
Husband shows up on daughters birthday when he hadn't been there all year and decides to ****** me unfortunately it worked and I was pregnant with child number 2.
22 on bedrest complications with pregnancy husband nowhere to be found. I had to pause school.
Got better went back to school.
Gave birth to a beautiful little boy. 6 weeks later my husband welcomes another son.
I filed for divorce.
23 graduated from college.
Got divorced .
Found hand mark on son my daughter said other mommy did it.
I filed a report and then left the state so they couldn't hurt my children.
24 started work as massage therapist. Loved every second of it.
Stopped for a hitchhiker on way home, we talked the whole way it felt like our souls connected.
He stayed and we started dating ,
Everything was going great he even got a job. But then I got pregnant and he showed his true self an alcoholic. I told him he couldn't stay if he didn't give up drinking so he left .
25 pregnant ready to pop trying to get ahold of the father. Finally his sister convinced him to be apart of the birth.
He came back waited on me hand and foot for 3 weeks till our son was born. Then when our son was born convinced me to take him back.
The rest of the year was good and bad he went to jail twice and it was cuz he was drinking behind my back
26 a decision on my door step in form of Cps making me choose him or my kids.
I chose my children.
But sadly it didn't stop there he repeatedly tried to convince me to take him back .
It wasn't easy to stand my ground but I said its either the alcohol or us he said us but chose the alcohol.
27 a friend asked me to house their friend I said I would.
He slowly weaseled his way into my pants and then said we were dating, I stayed silent.
After awhile he showed his true self angry lazy gamer that picks fights over not getting his way.
Kicked him out but both him and my sons father harassing me.
Ex husband wanted joint custody and wanted the children to live with him for the year I said "not without me there"
So me and 3 children moved in with ex.
He was acting like he was trying to be a good father but unfortunately what I didn't know was that he was abusing my children while I was at work and made my children repeat his lies.
I was taken by surprise when Cps contacted me telling me what was going on.
Before I knew what was happening they took my babies.
28 years old
Just got new job new house and doing everything they asked me to do. Listening to the caseworker.
Asked caseworker what I had to do to get my kids back she replied "you must admit you failed as a parent"
Caseworker refusing to place my children with family because foster parents want to adopt.
My children constantly telling me that they don't like the foster parents crying and throwing fits when it was time to leave also taking off saying "Please mommy don't make me go back!!!"
Foster parents wanted me to use their parenting style and use their rules.
One rule was "no touching"
Foster parents upset at me for playing with my kids. I fake wrestle with them and they use me as jungle gym.
Took my visits away because my daughter tried running away to my house.
29
Working long hours saving every penny.
Rarely getting to see kids.
Wrote letters to every state officials that I could find no one would help me.
Caseworker lied to me every time I talked to her.
After complaining 6 months she was finally removed but she got to keep her job and testified against me saying that I had it out for her and that I worked against her which isn't true she had it out for me and constantly lied to me and my family.
30 present
Parental rights terminated
Crying on my sons 5th birthday because I couldn't wish him happy birthday.
This is the sad story of my life I may be broken but im not dead.