My
     Joy
My
    Warmth
My
     Always

...I sit
        screaming
inside this
              glass
              box
           hoping one day
    my voice
                 will finally
         shatter
             it
                and set me free...

I wish that the person you once were would come knocking on the door and take us on and adventure once more. You'd rather lie, sneak around and get high and I'm just left here to cry. All I have left of of you is a baby attached to my hip, he has your eyes, ears, hair and lips. He's the only thing that reminds of who we used to be I hope one day you'll open your eyes and see... The family you've torn apart. Times may have changed but didn't leave my heart.

Anxiety anxiety,
O my anxiety,

I fear all and fear all of my fears,

Anxiety anxiety
O god my anxiety,

Distractions, distractions,
I try to fill my mind,

Anxiety anxiety,
O god please end the torture,

I’ll want to scream to empty my mind,
But I’m afraid of what  people think of me,
If it would actually help,

Anxiety anxiety,
Why do I think about everything,


Anxiety anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety,
anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety, anxiety,
anxiety...

I wish you could know how much I regret who I became.
Not because I'm fazed by the good sides; it's for what I want:
I want to belong.
Not a very warm thing to say but, it's what's been missing. I think.
I wish I can drown what I should've.
I wish I can be someone's best friend.
I wish I had someone to openly talk about everything.
I wish I had the heart to say no.
I wish I had courage to tell everything I feel.
Not like this.
I wish I wasn't this ******* weak.
I wish I fought when I wasn't able to.
I wish I can stop hurting myself.
I wish someone was here for me.

And although there may be people like that,
I wish I'd feel they're here.

I wish I can be okay.
But I'm not.
And I've learned I never will be.
But knowing is different from accepting.