A wonder seeker
Under the moons godly gaze
For the last time

I tell my friends I didn't study
Because I knew I wouldn't get in either way
I lied to them
I studied like never before
Flashcards
Notebooks filled with practice questions
Yet
I didn't make the cut
I wasn't good enough

It took me a while to get used
To the numbers on the scale
To only go up

You asked me for a hundred dollars
And like a dog I ran to get it for you
Counting the few bills and coins I had
I would do anything to keep you happy
I’d rip my heart out of my chest if another man broke your heart
But now you don’t even consider me family

Its not love
Its abuse
Open your eyes
To see the truth

The sunset is falling
And it taste bitter
But while it rains
And the world ends
You are besides me

You denied their pain
And could never take the blame
Gaslighted and lied your way out of the truth
Is this really your way of life?
You narcissistic fool

Wannabe Love Poem
By a poet who's never been in love
Never found the one
To hold under the night sky
And smile while the world is ending
Because they're in their loved ones arms

Wannabe Love Poem
By a poet who's never loved
Who's never been kissed
or told
"I love you"

That he’s gone
He’s gone
Yet the world keeps spinning
Without a care in the world
Why?

Your flowers died last Monday
But I couldn't bear to throw them out
Sad and Looking down
Just like me
Wilted, Rotting and Brown
Just like you

How much do you think time would cost?
Would someone buy 5 more minutes during their final breath
Or 2 more years to your partner's lifespan
Others selling their hours in hopes of being rich
A birthday girl being gifted 2 more hours
A single father selling his minutes for some dollars
Being robbed of the minutes you just bought
Saving up your silver coins to buy your mother an hour
Priceless moments will outweigh all the Earth
In the end, will we realize time's real worth?

your views are all i care about.
look at me please.
acknowledge my words.
remember my words and dont let them slip your mind

Don’t bother speaking
For we are just kids
So we don’t matter
                                But if that’s so. Then                               what will be of our future?

The sky was weeping
And so am I
The leaves were falling apart
And so am I

The sunset was gone
And so were You
The flowers were rotting
And so were you

The river flowed slowly
For it carried precious cargo
An infant in a basket

The river knew what to do
And saved the infant from its demise
Bringing it to the Pharoh's wife

The river flowed gently
All you could hear were the infant's cries

Love you enough to lie to you
and hate you enough to tell you the truth

No more snowy days
Let’s blame climate change
Snowmen melting
Hurricanes
Only we are to blame

My hips got a little wider
And my chest grew a size or two
“Pay attention to your surroundings”
And
“Keep your head down to not cause unwanted attention”
Was all I heard
I had a hard time paying attention when all I saw was the ground

One last time under the sky
Because the future would bring the lovers apart
Dark moon, bright stars

Bite your tongue
Your words are not worth saying
Bite your tongue
You'll be judged
Bite your tongue
You'll regret your words
Bite your tongue

“But you’re fine right?”
My therapist ask naively
Yeah I’m fine
Instead of drowning
I’m floating in a ocean
Surrounded by dolphins
Maybe one day I’ll sink peacefully

I embellish my mind with music
The expressive silence and the blend of rich voices
Rhythmic expressions and artistic use of words
                                                           ­          My mind is adorned with emotions
                     The tides of emotions crash over me and the whispers of intuition
                                                     Screams of fear and varying colors of mood
I decorate my mind with thoughts
The stream of ideas and whispers of consciousness
Small streams of reflection and flashes of insight
                                                         ­         My mind is furnished with memories
                                             The fragments of memories and echoes of the past
                  Brushstrokes of details in each memory and the maze of perception
I decorate my mind with poems
The quilt block of words and dance of language
Mosaic of themes and rhymic heartbeats

"Gift Of God"
My name means "Gift of God"
What utter hypocrisy
And a weight on my shoulder that my title brings
I am not a gift of God
More like a Burden
I deserve to be objectified for all my sins
"Thirty-Nine" sounds much better
Thirty-Nine like the number
Thirty-Nine like the number of lashes Jesus received
I need to be objectified
This number is just mine

So much can happen in 14 minutes
He can grab the rope from his closet
And search up how to tie a noose
Then he’ll go to the kitchen
And drag his mothers chair
To his room
And all he’ll write
Is “I’m sorry”
He’ll be gone before you know it

I don’t respect you
I fear you

you didnt notice i was crying
even though i was right in front of you
that or you didnt care
either way its safe to say
you failed as a mother

Like Fire and Oxygen
We stuck together
I helped your flames grow
While you burned me
But I think my personality overdid it
And you burst into flames
and only left smoke

I can’t move.
The weight is everywhere.
It presses into my chest
Like even the dirt want me to stop existing.

I screamed until my throat bled.
No one answered.
No one remembered.

I guess they moved on.

"He's so honest!"
Everyone exclaimed with joy
And while honesty is a good thing at times
Sometimes You wanted to be lied to
To be comforted
And to be hidden from the ugly disgusting world

"He's so honest!"
Your mom said at the dinner table
Sure he's honest
But why do You feel like You want to be lied to?

"I'm an honest man so im going to tell you what i really feel"
He said before insulting You in ways you couldn't imagine a dad could
Insulting the way You talk
Walked
Acted
And behaved
and yelling at you as you cried

Hes so honest
But sometimes You want to be lied to
You want your dad to say a pretty lie
To make you feel better

He was a sculptor
She was his inspiration
Never a Human
Always his muse

So when she died
He tried to resurrect his muse
With clay

He couldn't sculpt her face
He couldn't remember
He had lost his muse

I sigh
you get mad
I get confuse
But apparently
My sigh
Told you
More words
Than I ever could

Insomnia is a thief that steals my sleep
The hours and minutes tick by, an agonizing reminder that sleep won't come
Like the ouroboros, my quest for sleep consumes me
Insomnia traps my mind in a restless cage
The moon never sets in my mind, an eternal sunny day mocking me
Like the ouroboros, my struggle for sleep loops back on itself
Insomnia places me in a dark maze without escape
The hours I spend awake feel like an eternal road with no start or end
Like the ouroboros, we both devour ourselves endlessly in our despair
Insomnia keeps my mind turning over and over, and I never settle into sleep

So I looked at you with confusion
The theater curtains were down
The lights were off
No one is in the audience
Empty Seats
So why do you keep acting?