Thirty Nine: Poems

107 · Jan 14

Mixed Messages

Thirty Nine Jan 14

Mixed Messages

Bruised Heart and Spilled Milk
Lie to Me
Tell Me I'll Be Fine
Choke on your Words
And Watch Me Die

106 · Jan 13

Children's Dreams

Thirty Nine Jan 13

Children's Dreams

Scream and hit the Children
And watch their hopes and dreams burn
What will be of our Children?
What will be of our future?

105 · Nov 2024

Cries

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Cries

And he cries
Because she wouldn’t open her eyes
To face the truth

(Posted on thanksgiving so…happy thanksgiving ya’ll. Make sure to eat tons)

104 · Nov 2024

Deceive

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Deceive

Are the words that come out of my mouth really mine?
Am I just a brainwashed child?
Are the thoughts I type really mine?
Am I just filled with false lies?
Are the letters and constants I repeat in my head really mine?
Am I believing verses that aren't even true?
Are the actions I do really mine?
Am I eating up your words like you want me to?
Are the looks and trends I follow my own free will?
Am I following morals that are really mine?
Are your words even true?
Or are your words filled with tricks and lies?

questions questions questions that only god knows if they will be answered

103 · Nov 2024

Hearts can continue beating outside the body.

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Hearts can continue beating outside the body.

I have the heart of an artist
A poetic heart some might say
And able to feel it all
But with a mind like this
And with thoughts like these
What I really need
Is a heart of a fighter
Decorated with razors
That scream “Don’t touch me”

103 · Mar 13

Things you said at 1 am

Thirty Nine Mar 13

Things you said at 1 am

"Will they care if I die?"

97 · Jan 19

True Reflection

Thirty Nine Jan 19

True Reflection

"Mirror Mirror on the wall
How will you depict me today?"
They asked, and the mirror shakes his head
"You've got it all wrong
I only show the truth
The way you perceive it however
Thats all on you"

96 · Dec 2024

Artist (noun): a person who practices any of the various creative arts, such as a sculptor, novelist, POET, or filmmaker.

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Artist (noun): a person who practices any of the various creative arts, such as a sculptor, novelist, POET, or filmmaker.

Live in fear
Of an Artist making masterpieces
Based on the pain you've inflicted onto them

94 · Nov 2024

Am I A Poet?

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Am I A Poet?

Do I consider myself a poet?
(No, you're horrible, a wannabe, and an imposter)
Do my words captivate those around me?
(No, they leave people indifferent)
Do my eyes capture things others can't?
(No, you see the world like everyone else)
Do I play with my words and sentences?
(No, they're dull and bland like vanilla)
Do my words convey emotions and experiences?
(No they convey the boringness of a white wall)
Do my words piece together like a puzzle?
(No they're water and oil)

89 · Dec 2024

Thoughts during Biology class

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Thoughts during Biology class

They laughed at the fish
Because he couldn't climb the tree
And laughed at the koala
Because she couldn't swim

88 · Jan 9

Bluebell Flowers

Thirty Nine Jan 9

Bluebell Flowers

And I told you about my darkest secrets
Things I had never told anyone
I told you about my sorrow and darkness
That's in my heart

And yet
You still look at me as if I was the Sun

87 · Nov 2024

Compliments

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Compliments

your compliments are overwhelming
never have I felt so much love, so validated
it feels like a ticking time bomb, too good to be true
I'm not used to this feeling, and I don't know if i'll ever be
strangers across the screen who may be miles away
nicer and kinder than the people I call family and friends
why do you take the time out of your day to compliment my words and sentences?
why do you say such nice words although you don't know me?
Lumim, CJ Sutherland, Liana, Sora, friends and supporters I've made here
And so many more
Thank you

86 · Jan 6

Delicacy

Thirty Nine Jan 6

Delicacy

They said she was as delicate as glass
When in reality she was as delicate as a bomb

85 · Jan 3

Yet (adverb): up until the present or a specified or implied time; by now or then.

Thirty Nine Jan 3

Yet (adverb): up until the present or a specified or implied time; by now or then.

He cried
Not because he was sad
But because he had everything
and yet
He was still sad

84 · Nov 2024

Hate

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Hate

How can you hate
Something you made?
How can you hate
Something you raised?
Why do you hate me so much?
I just want your love
No, not even
I just want you to see me
Acknowledge me
Please

84 · Dec 2024

Self blame

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Self blame

You opened the window and the rain came and wet everything
It’s your fault your room is now destroyed
Your fault because you opened the window
Even though you just wanted a breeze
And needed to breath some fresh air
And couldn’t have predicted that there would’ve been a violent wind
It’s your fault
Your fault

Not about the rain, the rain room nor the window

83 · Dec 2024

Anger (noun): strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Anger (noun): strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.

She kept swallowing her anger
Every single time
Until it choked her

83 · Nov 2024

Muse

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

Muse

I am an Artist
I am a Poet
Without a Muse
My work lacks its purpose

I need a Muse
A purpose to keep create
A reason to keep making

The words I turn into sentences
Are dull and bare

I think I'm an Artist
I think I'm a Poet
But without a Muse
I work without purpose

76 · Jan 9

Freedom or Happiness?

Thirty Nine Jan 9

Freedom or Happiness?

His chains were broken
So glad he was free
He tried to flee
This wretched place

Not knowing he was still in a cage

75 · Feb 18

Or maybe you won't care, and stay mad at me

Thirty Nine Feb 18

Or maybe you won't care, and stay mad at me

If I killed myself

Would you still care about ugly face?

Or how much I ate?

Maybe you'd ask for forgiveness at my grave

Either that or you'll scream at my decaying body

Like you do to me now

75 · Jan 6

Lonely and Alone

Thirty Nine Jan 6

Lonely and Alone

Lonely but not alone
Or
Alone but not Lonely

Alone means being by yourself, without other people around.
Lonely means feeling sad or empty because you're by yourself, even if others are nearby. (According to ChatGPT that is)

74 · Nov 2024

thoughts during presentation

Thirty Nine Nov 2024

thoughts during presentation

you stand in front of your class
the words at your throat freeze
you're a deer in headlights, frozen
pairs of eyes staring
all eyes are on you
you feel the imaginary spotlight shining in your eyes
you're a painting in an art gallery
they arent talking to other people
they arent doing their homework
they're looking at you and only you
so don't **** up

74 · Dec 2024

Tribute to Loneliness

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Tribute to Loneliness

Dear Loneliness,
I don't write letter very often
But since you cling to me like a shadow, I’ll give in.
You're always there,
You scatter those I love like leaves in a storm.
You never leave me
And those who tried to stay
Are gone
Yet you remain
Watching me sob at the night
I feel so lonely but am I really alone?
Dear Loneliness, though I curse at your name, you're the one who stayed
Sincerely
Thirty Nine

idk- I mean while I have a friend we're distanced by a screen (poem idea). My family isnt as close as they used to be and I find confidence in those I cant see. \_(00)_/ oh well

74 · Jan 12

First thoughts

Thirty Nine Jan 12

First thoughts

Love warrior
Here we are
Drawn together
Like a beggar falling

74 · Jan 7

Open your eyes, listen to my cries and don't Ignore me

Thirty Nine Jan 7

Open your eyes, listen to my cries and don't Ignore me

My throat is raw and ******
Yet I'm still screaming
Because it seems the Lord hasn't heard my prayers yet

74 · Dec 2024

y o u h a v e t o l e t g o

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

y o u h a v e t o l e t g o

“The pain of having it might be better than thee pain of losing it”
You said as you gripped onto the glass shard in your hand
“It used to be something else before it broke.”
You say not knowing what to do with it anymore
If the shard of glass only serves you pain it’s not worth holding onto
Let go
You have to let go

https://youtube.com/shorts/G42phKm_3t0?si=fAKx6yI-8593STXa
(Inspo)

72 · Dec 2024

The night you didn't die

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

The night you didn't die

The night you didn't die
Because the rope snapped
Or the razor didn't cut deep enough
Or you didn't take enough pills
You woke up the next day
To realize that nobody noticed

71 · Jan 30

Untitled

Thirty Nine Jan 30

Untitled

A masterpiece you were about to finish
Left alone because of your fear of failing

69 · Jan 6

Untitled

Thirty Nine Jan 6

Untitled

I lost you
But found myself

68 · Feb 3

Lights Camera Action

Thirty Nine Feb 3

Lights Camera Action

The cameras rolling!
Smiles on people!
Nobody wants to see you frown!

67 · Dec 2024

It's Dinner Time

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

It's Dinner Time

We hold hands
And bow our heads
In hopes He'll hear our cries
Lord Almighty
Heavenly Father
Have our cries not been loud enough for you to hear?

67 · Jan 21

Drug Abuse

Thirty Nine Jan 21

Drug Abuse

Powdered Dreams
And Pill-Shape hope
A Needle’s Kiss
A false escape

But soon it fades
The pain returns
The truth unfolds

Left alone
With sweaty hands
Chasing deceitful comfort
That slips like sand

Renewal is wanted
A path to heal,
To break these chains
And to once again feel.

A project I had for health class, I took the opportunity to post it here too

67 · Dec 2024

Overstimulated

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Overstimulated

Too much noise
It's all too much
I swear even the air is too loud
Why can't they just shut up?

The skin on my body
Doesn't feel like mine
I need to get it off to feel alright

And the lights
**** the lights
As they blind my sight

Why can't I just leave?

social gatherings (especially parties because *******) **** :p

67 · Feb 13

School kills dreamer

Thirty Nine Feb 13

School kills dreamer

I crave for the smell of my half broken ac
Drawing in peace
Letting my mind wander endlessly
But now I’m confined
To A B C and D
Bubbling letters
For all of eternity

66 · Mar 8

Quarters

Thirty Nine Mar 8

Quarters

We're two sides of the same coin
Except I dont know if Im heads or tails

65 · Feb 19

Don’t let me eat up your lies

Thirty Nine Feb 19

Don’t let me eat up your lies

Even if your lies are served
On a silver platter
With gold flakes
It won’t change
How ******* disgusting it tastes

65 · Dec 2024

*laughter sounds*

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

*laughter sounds*

"Im going to **** myself"
You mumbled under your breath
And everyone laughed
Because you were so ******* funny
It wasn't a joke though was it?

63 · Mar 21

All fingers pointing towards me

Thirty Nine Mar 21

All fingers pointing towards me

They never apologized
They never apologized for how they treated me
But when i reacted to their pain
I was the one to blame

63 · Feb 3

An immortal Soul always wants to die

Thirty Nine Feb 3

An immortal Soul always wants to die

Certain death
Never came
So I left Them a message to call me back

63 · Feb 3

The Smallest Coffins Are The Heaviest

Thirty Nine Feb 3

The Smallest Coffins Are The Heaviest

Daddy's on his knees praying to the Lord above
Mama curses under her breath choking on love
The smallest hands are now the coldest
And cute cries are silenced
A life smaller than their height
Yet felt heavier than their weight

To all the kids who couldn't grow old with us

63 · Jan 3

I cannot, but will

Thirty Nine Jan 3

I cannot, but will

She drowned in her thought, her sadness and missed dreams
So she sat in the rain
And hoped that would drown her instead

62 · Dec 2024

Separated by a screen

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Separated by a screen

And as I wait for your spirited reply
I read and reread your messages
Because you're the only one who remains
In hopes to remember your voice
But all I see are your words written in a Arial font
Separated yet connected by this stupid screen
Its the only way we communicate
Yet it keeps us so apart

60 · Mar 8

Locus Flowers

Thirty Nine Mar 8

Locus Flowers

People force a flower to bloom
And as it opens
It feels the heavy weight of its petals
It shouldn't yet have to bear
It died
But it was beautiful and so mature
At such at young age
Thats all that matters to you
"The flower that blooms under pressure is the most beautiful of all"
You say
But it also dies the fastest

60 · Mar 26

Up in the Clouds? God? No on the roof

Thirty Nine Mar 26

Up in the Clouds? God? No on the roof

"Help from above"
I say as the ****** shoots

60 · Jan 23

Wars Suck

Thirty Nine Jan 23

Wars ****

Why has peace been the justification for violence?

59 · Dec 2024

Sun

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Sun

You want to be my sun,
Drawing me into your orbit, to submission
Again and again.

You want to be my sun,
Radiant and consuming,
But just like the sun,
You burn me with your light,
Again and again

You want to be my sun
But you blind me with your strong glow
I'm blinded and can't see
Is this what you wanted to do to me?

58 · Feb 3

Some Say "Overthinking" I say:

Thirty Nine Feb 3

Some Say "Overthinking" I say:

"The storm in my head
Over waters
The gardens I grew
And drowns it"

57 · Dec 2024

Untitled

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Untitled

What if you wrote the way you thought?
Unfiltered thoughts
and The Truth
Would you stop writing altogether?

56 · Mar 8

Why I wont be symapthetic

Thirty Nine Mar 8

Why I wont be symapthetic

I feel your sympathetic glare on me
I look at the ground
And marvel at at its patterns
To distract myself

If you really wish to help
Dont be sympathetic
Be empathetic

56 · Dec 2024

Untitled

Thirty Nine Dec 2024

Untitled

The mind was designed to learn
To expand
And to be curious
So why does school **** so much?

I hate the education system not the teachers