I could’ve sworn I saw you look my way,
makes me wonder why you never stayed
Could’ve sworn I heard your heart race, going at a fast pace.
All in my head, It’s all in my head they said as I replay
all the I love you’s,
all the promises,
all the forever and always’s,
all the lies.
I could’ve sworn you felt it too,
the love that grew so strong,
But what went wrong?
It’s all in my head, they said.
I could’ve sworn you were different,
not the good kind of different but the worst kind.
All in my head, It was all in my head you said.

You think I wanted to change you but all i ever did was accept you just the way you are. I accepted the good and bad and i loved every part of you but that wasn’t enough.
You think I wanted better, but you were always what I wanted, nothing more nothing less. I simply just wanted all of you, every piece.
You think I never fought for us but I did, I stayed when you needed me most because to me you were worth it but you never took the time to fight for me, for us.
You think I never loved you the way you loved me and you're right, I loved you even more.
You think I tried to control you but I always gave you the freedom to make your own choices and you kept making the wrong ones but I loved you anyway.

When you're 10 all you wanna do is wear those high heels,
those adult clothes, the make up to cover up,
all you try to do is grow up and time speeds up,
with no pause button, no rewinds,
You simply run out of time.
Before you know it you'll have that cigarette in your hand instead of that doll,
that short skirt instead of those ripped up old blue jeans,
You'll have mascara running down your face trying to figure out how time took it all away.
Before you know it you'll be exactly where you were when you were 10 but everything and nothing feels the same.

They ask me why I spend most of my time sleeping,
it’s because it’s in my dreams where I get to see you,
it’s the only place where you’re mine and I’m yours
and nothing else seems to matter.
It’s the closest thing we have to forever.

You know we had a chance, sure we were messy but we could've survived. I'd come back home, you'd show up and sweep me off my feet. You'd tell me how much you loved me, how you cant live without me. You'd grab me and kiss me and most importantly you'd never let me go again. We could've had it all. We would've made it but you ruined us. You did the one thing we can never come back from. You knew what you did would destroy us, you did it anyways. We could've survived, we should've had forever.

Dear 14 year old me, don't worry about boys, 
                                                             
­ ­                                                                              they all come and go like candy. 

Dear 14 year old me, sometimes just sometimes you know what's best for you more than others, 
                                                            S­o always follow your heart.

Dear 14 year old me, don't let anybody tell you you're not good enough, prove them wrong. 
                                                             ­  ­    *You are extraordinary.
*
Dear 14 year old me, those green skinny jeans, they have got to go in the trash. 

Dear 14 year old me, you probably stopped reading this a while ago but if you haven't always remember to 
                                   
                                         Live in the moment cause time really does fly by, 
   
    Sing like no ones watching cause it never really matters what others think as long you're happy, 
              Dance like it's your last day cause you never know when you'll be gone and lastly
                        Love like it's your first time cause you'll never know if its forever until you try.

You think I don’t want to talk to you at all but it’s all I want to do, every second in every minute of everyday. It takes everything in me not to talk to you. I wish I could tell you all these things but I know I shouldn’t so I end up saying nothing at all. You say I deserve the world; you were my world, my whole entire universe. You were all the stars, all the planets, the sun and the moon. You were my everything but that doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry that I act so cold and heartless; it’s a defense mechanism. It’s the only way I can keep myself from coming back to you. So instead I keep my distance. I cant say hello to you and risk another goodbye, cause we keep fighting over the same thing over and over again. Endless goodbyes that’s all we have left. I know sending this to you is selfish, I should’ve just left it at “goodbye take care” but I just don’t want you to think of me heartless. All I ever did was try to make you happy.

It kills when you lose someone who meant the world to you even though you meant nothing to them but then again the fact that they let you go so easily says a lot.

It never mattered how far away I was
because you were my home.
Whenever I felt lonely like I didn't belong,
hearing your voice would make me feel like I’m back home again.

When I said ' I didn't love you' what I really meant was ' I'm terrified.'
The love I have for you sent me running out the door because I knew from the minute I laid eyes on you, this was it for me.
You were my one and only, my freakin' knight and shining armor.
But I ran, I ran so fast that I forgot to look back at all the moments we had together.
Although they were short, I cherished every second.
The fear of another heartbreak sent me chasing after loneliness.
I couldn't bare another heartache, my heart wont survive.
I know once I dive into your love, I'll never be able to get back from it.
You'll be one disease, I can never truly recover from.
When you said you loved me, I ran because I was too scared but I guess the question here is, *why didn't you run after me?

I may be clueless at times and difficult in some moments but let me tell you something I'm not, yours. I'm not yours, that's my worst flaw.

This time last year, everything was different

We were closer, we were stronger
Now all thats left is plain, simple, agonizing distance
This thing we had, I never knew it was temporary

You’ll be blowing twenty candles soon, blowing away all the memories of the year before, the year when you were 19, when there was a me and you.

It’s all fun and games until it’s not,
the one who falls the hardest,
the one who breaks first,
the one who says hi first,
They all have one thing in common, they always lose.
So we’ll patiently wait for the other to crack

Happy birthday old friend, or should I say new stranger
Heres to you and all your bad ways
Heres to the boy I once knew and loved, to the man I can’t even recognize anymore

Heres to the end, the start of a new beginning without you and I
Blow the candles away and all whats left of us shall be gone with it

It’s all fun and games, until someone gets hurt and things remain forever broken

All the voices in my head whispering that I should run and hide,
Cause we both now this love won't survive but at least I tried.
And I saw you walking down the pavement hand in hand with someone new,
I couldn't help but feel like a dark shade of the colour blue.
All those butterflies you feel I'm sure she gets them too,
Makes me wonder if you felt it too back when it was just me and you.
                   Every time I watch her cross your mind,
                                                                ­                           I'll find the words to say **goodbye

it's the way he held his cigarette between his fingers, you just knew he was up to no good. All you wanted to do was inhale all the toxic gas cause he was killing you and you loved every second of it.

Sometimes I wish I had more to say, maybe then you'd hear me cry.
Sometimes I wish I had the power to stop time, maybe then we'd have one more moment before goodbye.
Sometimes I wish I had fought harder, maybe then I'd be good enough.
Sometimes I wish just one wish would come true.

I care more than I should, I say less than I could
I do more than I would but that still makes it no good.
I want more than I need and need less of what I want,
I see more than I believe and believe less when I don't see
But still its all no good.

You say she loves you but I see all the pain she brought you.
You say she's the one but I see all the lies she tells you.
You say you'll never find another but baby can't you see I've been here all along.
She'll never love you like I want to.

Between every I love you there's a I will forget you,
Between every I'm sorry there's a I will never forgive you,
Between every I'm okay there's a I wish you could see the pain you've caused me,
Between every goodbye there's a I will always love you,
Between every new beginning there's a I wish I could go back in time,
Between every I miss you there's a I won't be staying for you.

I cant help but wonder if i ever cross your mind,
When you see something that reminds you of me, do you regret the choice you made?
When you hear a joke, do you wish you could still share it with me?
When it’s that time of night when you rewind your whole day in your head and think of ways you'd do things differently,
In the lonely hour, do you think of me too?

I could walk away and say that you’re not what i need,
I could lie one more time and say I’ll be fine without your love,
wipe my tears away, draw a smile across my face,
Hoping you won’t see that I’ve given you all that’s left of me,
Baby all you ever gave me was space.
I could pretend that I’ve never even cared,
never bothered to think of you
But I’m not ready to lose you yet.

I'll forgive you cause I don't know what I'd do without you
but I won't need you
because I made a habit of never expecting anything from you,
That's a mistake I refuse to make again.

My problem is that I remember. Some people are lucky enough to forget, they wake up one day and they simply just forget. But i promise that i will always remember. The smell of your cologne, your contagious smile, the scars on your hands, the line across your neck, the scent of cigarettes in your car, the sound of your voice when you say my name. i will remember all these little things and so much more.

And I’ll be thinking of you when the sky turns grey,
with nothing left to say I'll be walking away
Cause you never took the time to stay.
It was a winter to remember that december but the snow has faded and the stars have moved.
And so have I, I've moved mountains for a love that ended before it begun.
One day I'll be thinking of you,
Maybe then you'll be thinking of me too.