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153 · Mar 2019
When shall I be freed?
Nigel Jayes Mar 2019
When shall I be freed from this  unholy cage?
When shall I be freed from this vile addiction?
Three months have gone
I have been strong
But this I know
I am not free
140 · Jun 2019
Beautiful Black Child
Nigel Jayes Jun 2019
Rise up black child-The world awaits
Embrace your skin - You are beautiful
Embrace your round nose- You are beautiful
Embrace your accent- Africa sings through you
Beautiful black child never forget - You are special
122 · Mar 2019
Freedom interlude
Nigel Jayes Mar 2019
Freedom  - the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.

Freedom : smiling without a care
Freedom : believing that i am worth speaking to.
Freedom : believing that I am worth loving.
Freedom : knowing that my worth is not determined by my outward appearance.
Freedom : contentment
Freedom : acceptance


Listen I found freedom.
One day I let go .
One day I walked away .
I escaped the prison of my own making an I was freed from the chains the held me back .

Today
I am an ocean current.
I am the wind.
I am free.
121 · Mar 2019
If life was a song
Nigel Jayes Mar 2019
If life was a song it would  have three verses.

One verse would be a sad ballad that single middle aged women cry out their
hearts to when
nights are
lonely.

One verse would be
made up of incoherent raps that make absolutely no sense.


One verse would sound like a pop song . Happy, upbeat and smelling like summer.
79 · Mar 2019
Ugly
Nigel Jayes Mar 2019
Growing up as a child I was bullied
My heart was constantly stabbed with painful words
I never understood why
One day when I truly looked into the mirror everything made sense


In life there are things that you can never have no matter how hard you try
Physical beauty is the one thing I can never have
As a child I  always ran away from my reflection
The absolute absence of self love made it difficult to look
There are few things that I've hated in my life as much as I  hated myself
I am under no illusions
My face can never cause the heart of  someone s' daughter to quicken
or cause her knees to weaken
I find it hard to believe that I can ever be the object of someone s' lustful fantasies
I am ugly and that is no lie
It does not matter if you see the glass as being half full or half empty the verdict will always be the same
I can never run away from it
No amount of tears no amount of self hatred and no amount of  wistful fantasies of a life where I am not ugly can  ever change that



So what if I am ugly?
Should I stop living ?
Should I stop smiling?
Should I stop laughing ?
Why should my ugly stop me from being who I want to be ?
Should I isolate myself from the world?
Should I not allow myself to connect with others?
Should I allow myself to drown  an infinite ocean of self hatred and depression?
Should I ignore every good thing in my life because of my ugly?
Do I not need to allow myself to live despite my ugly?
No I will live
I will accept my ugly and carry on living
Do I not owe myself this much
Do I not deserve to be happy?
I refuse to be restricted by my ugly.
Just a poem about acceptance of one s' flaws and living out your life

— The End —