Your fortress, a structure spectacular
built with blood and memories
of those who made you loathe yourself.

I was in awe of it for awhile
and then later, bored
with your need to be holed up
with historical demons
and antique canons ready for blasting
new suitors, me.

I know you love a sword fight as well
so come down swashbuckler
and show me what you’ve got.
I have only an open heart, sorry
a useless weapon I know
to bring to any game of love.

I’m going to love you anyway, so you can relax with your cliche game playing.

Anyway, does a game exist
when the other team decides to stop playing?
That’s me. I forfeit
until you surrender
your need for that tedious control.

All your defences seem a little silly
in the face of such truth
yes, I just want to love you.

You say “Can you love this?”
as you pull off your mask
like  a modern day Scaramouche.

“Easy”, I say.
I love the flaw in all things,
the corner stone of a thing’s greatest strength.


No need to chase summits
to convince yourself that the world is yours
Love your weakness
and let it be your light out
of well trodden swamp lands.

When you acquiesce to the ordinary,
magic happens.
Don’t gather souvenirs to say who you are
where you have been
or what you’ve achieved

It’s just a declaration of fear.


When you hold onto nothing,
you have everything.

Trees curl their toes
holding tight
the shifting fields
of yellow grain,
thin air roars
like an avalanche  
through the branches
and a family of rooks
tilt forward like
skiers on the piste...

Like a
crooked
tooth
she played
on his
mind
just
enough
to keep
him
from
smiling...

There is this hell inside me where the flames are mesmerising

it’s shape fits your outline

it grows and shrinks
                                            every time you walk in

walk out.



Tell you what

i’ll be the empty house

and you be the ghost


I’ll keep my favourite illusions about us in tiny glass jars

                                                           ­               (like portable mausoleums)


What do you want for dinner?
                                                         I'm leaving you


Shall we watch The 7:30 Report?

                                                        ­ You’ll never see me again

I’ve made your favourite dessert

                                                        ­ You can keep the house


Did you know you can be crying for years

and not even notice


The funny trajectory of feelings

They rise up      
you take note  

                                they fall away


some don’t fall away
becoming embedded in your bloodstream

and there’s my only enemy right there

inside me

and no matter how much I vacuum the cracks in the floor
my childhood just doesn’t change

but maybe
just maybe

if i do everything the opposite way i was taught i might survive


I thought you were the face of my survival
                                                                ­             (silly I know)
                                        
I thought you were my very own swashbuckling hero
like the one's dreamed up by Spielberg and Lucas

but after awhile getting your hopes up

becomes just another extreme sport

If only i had known

the best way to keep our romance alive
was never getting to know each other

Refunds for emotional disappointment should be a thing


and weddings
weddings should happen under water

the suffocating non-air
can break you in for your future

You’re working back again/What’s her name?

You know, there’s a freedom that comes with being forgotten actually

I can relax and become a mountain again
                                                           ­                 free of perfecting myself

to outshine your golden girls
all of them competing for the crown in your secret world

I would cry about it
but i bought 80 pairs of shoes instead

It will show up on your bank statement

where boys become men
and men become memories
...freedom's cost

She traced
the patterns pressed
by the grass
into my knees

with gentle lips
and fingertips
as light as
falling leaves...