I don’t know what to write about.
As I sit in class my mind is blank.
No thoughts.
No songs stuck in my head.
Just the endless silence.

If I think, I’ll think about him, if I think about him I’ll think about us.
If I think about us I think about how we are no longer, we.
Just him.
Just me.
I refuse to accept that I may still have feelings for him.
Which is hurting me just as so.
I want to know the truth, of what really happened.
I don’t want excuses, just the truth.

I don’t know what to write about.
These words in the page in front of me aren’t mine.
Someone else wrote them.
Surely.
I couldn’t have thought like that.

If I think, I think about friends, and if I think about friends, I think about her.
Our friendship is strong, surely to last a lifetime.
Every day is a blessing.




I guess I do have things to write about.
Friends, Enemies, Almost’s
Life has been nice.
Life has been painful.
Life has been healing.
Life has been waiting.

When I think, I think about them, when I think about them, I cry.
I can’t remember everything, only bits and pieces.
Makes me wonder if it actually happened.
When I think about my future,
I think of a young lady who knows nothing about where she came from.
Who she’s met.
Who she is.
It scares me, that maybe one day, I’ll forget all of this.
And I don’t want to forget.

I’m scared of everything.
I don’t want to be scared.
But fear consumes me.
It haunts me through every moment of my being.

As summer reluctantly gives way
And autumn waits at the doorway
Visible changes come their way
Though they are not for long to stay

Cool is the wind that blows in soft hum
And leaves fall with the bee’s thrum
When they fall curling in hundreds down
In a deluge of colors, the lands drown

Some leaves are seen swirling afloat in the space
And some fall softly across the landscape’s face
Of all the trees, the maple is a sight to relish
Which the eyes can never ever relinquish!

Orange and red, ochre and brown
Like the sparkling gems on a queen’s crown
In a variety of costumes the Earth parades
And everything, seen in a medley of shades

The trees are loaded with fruits ripe
And squirrels dart up to savor the pulp
Autumn is the season for gathering crop
When from the towering pines, acorns drop

As autumn tightens its strangling grip
And the blizzards blow in mightier sweep
The trees are stripped of all their leaves
And many a bird, deprived of its arbor, grieves

With the cruel bite of savage frost
Flowers fade and all their glamour, lost
As the days grow cold by and by
Birds in flocks begin to fly

They take on wings to warmer climes
Before the snowflakes fall in bits and piles
Soon the season falls into hushed silence
And waits for the winter with resilience!

Variety, we know, is life’s flavoring spice
And all seasons have their beauty and grace
But each has its own distress and decrement
And the only way to be happy is to be content

I have no idea
What's going to happen
In the future
Will I have a job?
Or will I have a career?
Will I ever go to college?
Or will I ever be homeless?
Would I buy liqour?
Probably not.
But let's face it.
I'm going to be lonely.
So.. Yeah, I might
Just so I can stop
Thinking so much
And drown my sorrows
In alcohol

All I need is You, Lord
Sorry it took so long
For me to realize You're all I need
All I've ever needed
Thanks for never forsaking me
When I fell into the deepest pits
Thanks for being faithful
When I wasn't
Thanks for accepting me back
Father, thankyou for loving me
With an unconditional love
Thankyou for giving me hope
Thankyou for giving me a purpose
To live
To continue on
And to fight the good fight
Thankyou for Your blessings
Thankyou for breaking me out of *******
To sin
To the world
To pride and vanity
To materialism
To fear
To guilt
To depression
To drugs
And alcohol
Thankyou for healing me
Thankyou for bringing me someone who loves me with Your love
Thanks for letting me know You, Lord
You are perfect in all Your ways
You are worthy of all praise
You are sovereign
Let my life be glorifying to You

It started out fun
no strings
just you and me
ruling the world
or so it seemed
now I'm just staring into space

Don't remember what it was like before you
but all I know is that what we had was real
what we had was love

You fell into a depression
you turned me into a ******
a madman

I casually lock eyes with a stranger
I keep staring
Like one who has no hope at all
Wondering if my pain can be felt

I haven't touched my coffee
I forgot it was there

As I'm staring into space
I got you on my mind

There was a girl
I used to swap paperbacks
and spit with, once
I fixed her wiper blades,
I remember the soft dead wings
on the windshield,  pretty
as you please

She was alone in her shoes
listening to something
that kept getting darker
and glowing like morning
on the oil spilled under her truck,
she was drifting through
the rosewater of her soft red hair

She only wanted to be rolling
off a swollen river, sliding
out of a clean slip, turning
over in a deep sleep, trailing
a shimmering thread, hiding
under a pile of wet leaves

Then there she was sailing
in her river of blood,  going
white and smelling like smoke
from a struck match behind
closed blinds on a ceramic floor,
a white blouse red as a sharp knife
collecting the light of mourning.