my day is naught but toil,
   my night is naught but strife.
in my sleep i turn and toss
   whilst a dream reflects my life.

why then does a smile chase these lips
   and a twinkle tease these eyes?
are my furrowed brow and fists a-clenched
   contentment in disguise?

Joy intrudes on every bitter moment;
   joy heals wrathful thoughts and wounded ken;
   joy thrusts forget on all my hurt
   and joy gifts vigor to my pen.

O God, your chronic cheer may end,
   see, your joy is hampered so.
your servant, i, will stretch it farther,
   where it wills to break i cannot know.

Tonight, at work, I asked 10 people
if they knew of what had happened
at Los Angeles International Airport (henceforth: LAX)
not 30 hours earlier.
Only 2 had heard of it.

One, because a cousin was traveling that day
and, the other, because a regular at his restaurant
also had family who had left LAX just before it happened
just in time to be stopped with the rest of the traffic
for two and a half hours.

I find that sort-of strange;
information, even if misinformation
spreads too quickly and ubiquitously now-a-days
with our cell-phones, internet, satellite radio and media sensationalism
for a mere 1 in 5 to have heard of this,
and even then, only because of Family's accounts.

Apparently, he acted alone, wearing military-like clothes
and walked into LAX at about 9:20 AM PST on November 1
carrying a very cost-effective Military and Police AR-15
concealed in a bag with over a hundred spare .223 rounds
and a note with words of sociopolitical dissent
and an apparent intent to **** several Travel Security Agents.

He mortally wounded a single TSA agent, after two shots
and non-fatally wounded at least a few other people
including two other TSA agents.
This thorough chaos warranted sopping traffic, air and ground alike
for over two hours, until his apprehension
after being shot in the mouth and the leg
by valiant officers of the LAXPD.
Luckily, the Police had trained for
"this exact situation not three weeks before"

Wait, what was that?
Oh, that's.. impeccable timing.

Anyway.
Few know about it and even less discuss it
even a day and a half after it happened
only 550 miles from here.

I figured it'd be a bigger deal than this.
What is up with this?
It's rather srtange...
quite queer indeed.

The Suspect is in the hospital for his wounds and is now awaiting trial
for ****** and Inciting Violence in an International Airport.
Many people of Office cry out for the death penalty, even here in California,
where we like to think we've "grown past that"

The Travel Security Administration was established in the wake of 9/11
It is a branch of the Department of Defense.

It took me much digging to find all this information on this event. Here it is for any who seeks it.

i told her that her jokes were
always funny. that they always brightened up
my day, that she was the one who brings a
smile across my face without even
trying.

but, then i told her that the one joke
that i couldn't tolerate was the one
about self-harm. she looked up at me,
and i swear her heartrate soared,
and then said,
"i understand, it won't happen again."
i looked at her, confused.
why was that so easy to say?
i then looked down at my wrist and
gulped a bit louder than i should,
and she got out from behind her desk
and then proceeded to say,
"I did it as well, i cut in highschool."

i stared blankly at her,
not expecting to hear that
she knows the fears i have.
she knows of what its like to
have a blade go across your skin,
she knows.

i hate that she knows.
i hate that she went through that,
that she knows that feeling.
i hate it.

but, at the same time, im glad
she knows, because maybe she can
be the one who helps me from
going on some relapse
frenzy.

i just hope that
maybe she wants to
be the one who
helps me.

Why I tie about thy wrist,
      Julia, this my silken twist;
      For what other reason is ‘t,
But to show thee how, in part,
Thou my pretty captive art?
But thy bondslave is my heart;
’Tis but silk that bindeth thee,
Knap the thread and thou art free:
But ’tis otherwise with me;
—I am bound, and fast bound, so
That from thee I cannot go;
If I could, I would not so.

i wish i wasn't
so ****
human