note to self:
The mighty says that she doesn't name a poem before it's written or maybe not at all

so I try not to
I try to write her with no name

words speak and write themselves
faster than the slowness
of my naming

good god, i falter
fly south for the summer
ring my neck
shake a wing
flying further north
because it's winter

so i try not to
because she speaks
fluid now and real
and in her ocean there is
no name
worthy of not forgetting

a gift to me for sure
a wordless azimuth
to describe
a pearl and its own life's making
and I am impressed

pretenseless
some remainder pure
and laughing still at broken
who shakes me awake when I wrong down the words

and try to name them

yet in the night's dark farmer's market where
flickers are rare and cost
what's real

I lay down the word that speaks to saying
and guides what's said and still saying home

and she is special
special now

when now is long and slower
and meanings mean themselves
where moments are rooms with echoes and time stands quiet; nearly still

when memory is no longer
so
and I not so full; myself
I'll forget the grass is green then
maybe I'll lighten up

remembering the road i wrote
the author of one dream
where words were meant to say themselves

a fairly special thing

He loved her and she loved him
His kisses ****** out her whole past and future or tried to
He had no other appetite
She bit him she gnawed him she ******
She wanted him complete inside her
Safe and Sure forever and ever
Their little cries fluttered  into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease
He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Or everlasting or whatever there was
Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy place
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His word were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assasin's attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots
Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing
His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon's gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows  pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall
Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined  sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other's face

bats and birds

i am in love with sadness
i am in love with your sadness
i recognize and know it
it is not dissimilar to my
own sorrow

i
while quietly sobbing
perform drunken newly learned alchemical rituals
in a desperate attempt to
set aright
madlove gone off the rails
with half-spells and muttered incantations

knowing the aura of
impending heartache
i stifle a sob into a
long one note high pitched
quiet wail
i am doomed

ill equipped to cast
my lot
ill advised to continue
i closed my leaking eyes
and held my arms up
in supplication
to a god i have always
believed in
but do not believe would hear
my believed mewlings

i remember the hour of my undoing
i remember the sadness
i feel today
from then
a touchstone to your sadness
the only stone I have

i would tie it to my
neck
and jump into deep water
were i to think it would
hold me to the bottom

though no hero am i
nor courage do i know
in your sadness i found
a simple purpose
a certain failure
sadness my own

i remember your shy smile
and your hands

Reluctant waver
Lucky you
Thank your stars
Mirrors do what they do

Tour bailer
This is for you
Stole my ride
And my drink to boot

Calvary captain
Mean what you say
Why'd you Leave the recruits
To fight their own way?

It ain't a big deal
We made our way through
Not all of us though
So what do we do?

Hang up and run?
Ditch and demand?
Bail while we're in it?
Keep your head in
The sand.

nap in the dirt
blood on your hands
and under your nails
nailed to the end

nailed to the floor
bleeding
you knew
acting as if
what you said was the truth

forget it while smiling
my name
it is a place
but hold on to it for just this sort of case:
you remember the rain
In a house quite abandoned
A lifetime of pain is a hard rock to stand on
The broken out windows
and dwindling flame

sputters alight
with new resolve
bust in my new boots
earlier today on you
aim then fire
and revolve
Get on through

You've ruined the moon
And the trees that I see it through
They are burnt and charred
As am I

They were on fire
which burned down
the home next to them

The basement is where
The heirloom mirrordumb
Ashcan wish-dope
Memory shift
Traumatrigger
Sunday school
Was located

I am sifting through the ashes in the basement
They are not my ashes
I am obligated
To a friend's loss
Elephant deja vu

You've ruined the moon
With long distance wishes
And lipstick smeared napkins
Plus haiku
And your hair on my sweater from a long forgotten night
when we held one another
For comfort and warmth and believing in
the moon

The moon is the same
the planet is ruined
i became sadness
And sadness
Becomes me
While I wait for death
And another chance
To hold your beautiful heart

Not the same reasons
The moon is the same
The reason
Carries us
Across together

If you see the moon
Please ask her
If we could make it up to her
One day somehow

Maybe just knowing that we both look at her
Maybe just knowing

I've lost my heart and
My moon is  ruined
My way is set
My resolve milky
The light of a perfect
Moon

The moon is meaningless
Without you
Gumballs and taffy
Bread on a pb&j
That stayed out
All night last
With stoic pilgrims  
And the last strains
Of kinda blue

From the moment we knew
And our eyes made
The day
I have had my will lashed
To the mast

where are you?
where are you?