There is always somebody taller...somebody darker, more mysterious, better body, better kisser...
"Where do I fall short?" You ask yourself a hundred times. "Wherr is it that I was not good enough for you?"
You shout to the Angels, to heaven, to God, to nothingness. You shput because 1: you hope that maybe she will hear you and 2: Emotions such as this just aren't compatible with a calm quite and civil voice. You shout because a whisper cannot properly contain the pain you feel. A cup cannot hold the water destined for a jug.
Then, when nothing shouts back,  you liquify your pain...condense your emotions into tears and pour them into a chamber in your heart labelled: Heartache. Unfortunately that room is broken...Unfortunately that room leaks. And despite all your 'manly' efforts to not let your emotions betray you, the tears leak out of your hands and onto a page,  into a poem, onto a painting, interwoven into a drawing. Art depicting the day you heal; a distant dream... And as long as your hands are more porous than your eyes you shall never heal. As long as your eyes remain painfully Dry and your smile sincerely deceptive you shall never heal. So you wait...You wait till your pencils become blunt and your brushes obsolete. You wait until the emotion pushes against your being do violently a smile seems to tear into your very reasons for living. You wait until happiness seems a dream. And you know that these emotions are not meant to be within you... a cup cannot hold the water destined for a jug yet you hold what you know is not meant for you. So you collapse... physically, emotionally, mentally and in every conceivable way...You collapse. You break. You become a shell, a shdow of the man you used to be as the sluices in your eyes finally open and you cry. Your pain cascades down your face and mixed in between the heartwrenching sobs and the muffled choking you find a new emotion. One you've never felt before. Yet you know that it was there all along, waiting to be released. And as the personified memory of her swaying figure walking away from you appears so does the emotion. Written, nay, Burned in big red letters above her shrinking figure.
ABANDONED!
And you snap! A broken man snaps. He cries now more viciously than ever before. He stumbles to the cupboard to get a drink and proceeds to drink until those painful red letters disappear in a haze of inebriation. In a drunken stupour you grab the word and wrestle it into submission. You chuck the cursed word into another chamber in your heart labelled: Latet. Meanwhile the jagged A split your skin. The pitiless B ripped open your muscles. The cursed word is subdued, but not defeated. The cursed word left you with wounds and they are clear to the world around you. They expose/subject you to humiliation...To cruelty...To despair......
And all of this caused by a single girl. A girl who...Did not mean to hurt you. She did not mean to break you. Yet you sit on the floor, the wine mixing with angry mutterings of how much you miss her. Then you cry. Again. But this time you heal. This time the tears flow into the cracks in your soul and convince you that you'll be okay. They convince you that there will be a better day after this...That one day you will find the girl that will have another word burned above her head as she walks towards you....
*LOVE

Guess what
I saw myself in the mirror today
And I saw some stranger staring back at me
His hair was messy
He had black-purple bags under his eyes
Swollen from catching all of his tears
His face was red and there were scratch marks from his anger
His dried lips were cracked from all his screams of frustration
Dried blood caking his jaw and neck
He looks at his neck bruised and swollen from him trying to strangle himself
All in all that man in the mirror seemed like he wasn't doing okay

But I quickly showered and decided to wear my poloneck today
It was after all a nice shirt

I made a decision
I decided to stand up
To show the world my name
Ariel motherfuckinh Taverner *******
I no longer wish that I could cry
I now cry when I need to while lifting my ******* to the world
**** all the people who pushed me down

Guess what
You are not what you think your are
You may think your lips are ugly
I still want them on mine
You may think your hips are fat
I still want to put my hands on it
You may think your face is ugly
I still want to caress it
You may think your figure is unattractive
I still want to feel it pressed up against me
You may think you are stupid
I still want to talk to you
You may think your scars are ugly
I still want to hear every story
You may think your eyes are ugly
I still get lost in them
You may think your nose Is ugly
I still want to give it a rub with mine
You may think you are needy
I still want to hold you
You may think you are rude
I still prefer your company
You may dislike every part of yourself
I will still disagree with you
Now and until my breath completely runs out

You may hateyourself
But I still love you

My love.....

My love....

My sweet bitter love
Caress my heart in your hands
Touch my soul with your heavenly icey fingers
Make me feel alive and not alone
Please my love....

Press your head against my chest
Touch my arms
Make me feel like a bird
Soaring across the vastness of your beauty

My love.....

My sweet bitter love
Look into my painful eyes
Let me look into your abyssally deep eyes
Let my lips drift slowly towards yours
Let me kiss you
my love
Let me feel your passion
Your pain.....

You

Please my love...
My love.....
My bitter sweet love
Put your arms around me
Pull me tight
Chest against chest
Let me feel your heart
Let me feel your love
Let me feel your smooth skin
Let me feel your passionate gaze
Let me feel your lips against mine

My love....

My bitter sweet love

Let me kiss your smooth silken neck
Let me caress your suple *******
Let me feel your skin against mine
Let me feel the sweat
Streaming off our bodies
Let me feel your heart and soul
Mingling with my own

Let us intertwine

My love.....

My Bitter Sweet Love

I love you

Tim loved playing games. He always pretended that he was a hero and that he killed all the evil monsters. He would stroll through an entire army of them with a sword and **** them. They could never hurt him! He was invincible!

One particular day after killing 6 amies he came across a differnet type of monster. This one was not like the others. It was bigger! It’s claws were sharper! It’s eyes were beyond evil! Despite himself Tim gave a shudder of fear. Then he charged and with one swipe of his sword scarlet blood splashed and the monster lay dead! For some reason Tim was tired, very tired! He looked across the land and saw an army of monsters. With the arrogance of a tyrant he charged!

they were all dead! He looked behind him. 7 armies of monsters, slaughtered like lambs , lay dead behind him. He didn’t know why he killed them and he felt empty and cold. His worst fears were at the front of his mind. Something about those eyes made him shiver! In a sudden urge of anger he screamed! It was then that he realized that he didn’t like this anymore. He wanted to stop, stop everything . he wanted to leave! Yet he merely killed another 3 armies!

He was so tired now! He had killed over 10 million monsters . he cried out to the sky because he was lonely and scared, but only his mind responded because nobody else was there. And he didn’t like it. His mind scared him!it told him things, things he didn’t want to hear or do. He became something he didn’t like. A body and a mind. They wee separate yet bonded. He retained control over a small part of his mind , but the rest was something else! He called it : GOD

“**** THEM!” screamed God
Although he didn’t want to, he did. God was strong and Tim was weak. So he layed about him with death, ruin, and destruction. He did it without thinking. He could barely think anyway. He didn’t really have a mind anymore .
“**** THEM” screamed God
With every new bunch of monsters god’s mental voice ripped through his body. Yet again he obeyed God. Against his will he obeyed him.

He sat. he could not do anything anymore.
“**** THEM, **** THEM ALL” shrieked God
Yet he just sat. he would **** no more. He wanted to leave. The monsters closed in, and he smiled. He found it funny. After killing 34 million monsters he only die at the hands of 3.
“PLEASE **** THEM” begged God
With a big smile on his face and happiness in his heart he said the one word he was never able of saying before.
NO!!

“GOD DIED JUST AS TIM LAUGHED AND CRIEDAT HIS OWN PAIN AND DEATH” said God

When it is a story you seek
Go to the pole
and take a peek
Into the house of death
That will take away your breath
For there lives a creature
Hardly ever refered to as sir
Yet this creauture has a name
to hear it means you are sane
And non are in this world
For our hearts curl
And twist
At the thought of his list
That forever haunts our childhood
And makes our innocence ****
To the difference of wrong and right
Which grabs tight
Upon our soul
Up at the pole
In his house of death
That will take away your breath

Pain
Lies
Enigmas
Attrocities
Sins
Enemy
***
Attack
Vengeance
Ecc­entric
Maddening
Extreme

Ten million dry tears
Nine million fake smiles
Eight million different faces
Seven million manipulations of the truth
Six million screams of anger
Five million unthrown punches
Four million days of anger
Three million hopeless thoughts
Two million buckets of effort from me
One million from you
One hundred thousand thoughts about how you will hate yourself
Fifty thousand apologies you will never hear
Ten thousand apologies you'll hear
Five thousand tears
One thousand itching lips
Five hundred itching lips
One hundred itching lips
Fifty itching lips
Twenty itching lips
Ten itching lips
Five itching lips

Dear.....(Someone)
I want you to know the distinction between the phrase :
"Dear (Someone)" and the meaning behind it.
See the phrase could be seen as the idle 'I Love you' dropped at your loving mother's desperate ear as she hugs you goodbye.....see:
"Dear (Someone)",
The meaning, is when you hold her shivering figure and as her sobs break her, you gently whisper:"I love you" into her ear

"Dear (Someone)"
It is a phrase used all to often and
Dear (Someone)
The meaning can change, resurrect and empower you,
Dear (Someone)
I want you to understand that when I talk about you
Dear (Someone)
And I say
Dear (You)
I do not use the phrase....I mean it
See
Dear (You)
You have taught me the significance of using that prefix and
Dear (You)
I want you to know that when I say Dear Mikyla....It is a phrase
But when I say Dear Elize....It is the meaning

Pain
Lies
Enigmas
Attrocities
Sins
Enemy
***
Attack
Vengeance
Ecc­entric
Maddening
Extreme

He sat on his chair
In his desk
In a place he called heel

She walked
In a place she hated
She bnamed hell

He sighed
Decided to take a break
And walked through hell towards heaven

She sighed
She was stressing
So she went for a walk to heaven

He sat on a chair
And loathed himself
He loved heaven but was still in hell

She walked into a room
With a man on a chair
She frowned for hell made it all worse

He silently wept
With no tears
He needed respite from hell

she teared
With no tears
She needed respite from hell

He looked into memory
But found nothing
His life was a series of hells

She looked into her mind
But found nothing
Her life was a series of hells

Where
He thought
in despair

Where
She thought
In despair

He looked up
About to scream
And saw her

She looked around
About to cry
And saw him

She was amazing
Beautiful
Captivating

He was amazing
Handsome
Captivating

She smiled
And he cried
Inwardly

He smiled
And she hoped
Inwardly

He looked upon his life
And finally
Took a chance

She looked upon her life
Almost cried
And took a chance

He stood up
Went to her
And said one syllable

She stared
As he walked up
And said one syllable

He despaired
For she didn't say anything
And turned

She grasped
His shoulder with desperation
And begged with her eyes

He turned
And smiled
A true smile

She smiled
A true smile
He caused it

He started a conversation
A conversation
Of a lifetime

She chatted
Without thinking
She just let her toung work

He hoped
Something he never did
Something he liked

She hoped
Not a false hope
A true hope

He left
With her number
And hope in his heart

She left
With hope and fear
Would he call her

He lay down
But didn't sleep
He thought

She lay down
But didn't sleep
She thought

He smiled
A true smile
A Happy smile

She smiled
A true smile
A Happy smile

He slept
Like never before
For he had never truly slept

She slept
Like never before
For she always dreamed

He woke up
And smiled
He had slept

She woke up
And smiled
She hadn't dreamed

He called her
And made something
Love

She answered
And felt something
Love

                             TRUE LOVE
                        SUCH AS NEVER FELT
                 YET IT WAS REAL FOR THEY FELT IT
          AND FEELINGS ARE TO BE TRUSTED? ????

They laughed
They were not he cand she
They were they

It's raining
And I Want You

The rain makes me overly sentimental, adding its ten drops worth to my ocean...
Nostalgia swells up; a monolithic wave of sadness and fractured memories
The borders imposed on my heart rebounds the lapping tongues of melancholy and send them back towards the centre towards
Me
Me; the centre of my own world
The Centre of my ocean

Frail ratty rafts of values drift brokenly across my ocean
The cracks in my character screech like strained metal; shouting at me that I'm sinking them
I'm sinking the morals and values that merge to form
Me
Me; the centre of my own world
The Centre of my ocean

The aquatic depths house the monsters of my mind
The Subconscious apparitions so large that a stirring of their serrated spines change the flow of my polluted basement of an ocean
The flow of my subconcious stinks stagnantly
It results in the drifting away of me from
Me
Me; the centre of my world
The Centre of my ocean

It's drizzling
And I want you

You are the kind of woman
That if
I were to put a flower in your hair
(Dark beautiful hair like a black churning waterfall)
It would make you the most beautiful woman
(Because beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder)
On this world
You would be the type of woman that is imagined in the jungle
Wearing plants but somwhow making it look good
(Because that flower compliments you so well)
And you magnify that flower's beauty ten ******* hundred times more than any other woman
And it's a symbiotic relationship
Because you two perfectly compliment each other
But there's some nice irony to it
Because if I were the flower
I would be beautiful
And so would you
We would be perfectly beautiful
But it's not symbiotic
Because it doesn't matter how exceptional you are
I'd still ******* die when I'm plucked

The two skipped through the world
Her paint was red
His was black
They ran through life complimenting each other perfectly
Her red streaked jagged lines across people's vision
His black smoothed over the rest of the space
People would be blinded by black and red and find themselves stunned by who these two people were
Wearing their hearts on their sleeves
Displaying their paints so precariously
Loving life and living life
The Red Rose
The Black Thorn

That book
Was everything
All my lies branded upon the pagez
All my secrets hidden with paranoid precision
All my desires inscripted onto the lines
All my thoughts  made physical by pen
All the ink that has bren used
All the pages filled with my darkest lusts
All those tear stained torn pages
All of the pagez stained with blood born of my own suffering
That book is not everything about me
THAT BOOK IS ME

and you stole it
You stole me

I swim in a sea of bullets
My curse allows me to be in a place like this
Each bullet has a name on them
Zoë
Zerilda
Clara
Suné
Matthew
Siya
Tim
Tania
Hanli
And each bullet is lethal
Each bullet represents the certain words that can **** the person
I find these bullets and carry them around with me
As they burn holes in my pocket my mind is filled with what I could do
One bullet could destroy each of them

And they better be happy that I will never shoot them

Two beings converge upon Destiny's pathway
Two skins exist in contradiction
His is Icy, colder than his heart
Hers is fire, hotter than her soul
A hug...
A handshake...
Contradictory beings destined for unison
Then a kiss....

Two lips converge upon Destiny's pathway
Ice kisses fire
And they pull apart
His lips are steaming, smouldering like half-dead embers
Her lips freeze over slowly, the frost crawling like an uncertain wave
Then a smile...

Two souls converge upon Destiny's pathway
They smile
And as he smiles his cheeks split apart
The ice upon him cracking
The fire from her lips ignites his soul, his passion
And spreads till his soul burns
The smoldering coals in his soul ignited by her passion
And in a second a perfect moment is achieved
He is burning
For none but her

it was one of those days
you know?
where nothing is REALLY wrong
there is no urgent emotional issue that needs your attention or that is creating that familiar vortex of emotions within your mind and heart
it is just as an whole a bad day and you wish a million times over that you could just go and lie down on your bed and sleep for the rest of it
it is one of those days where you have this phenomenal high within your soul and then you just hit this incredible low that hits you so hard that even the combination of othello friends and history does not cheer you up
i am angry
and sad
and tired
and over it
and i want to give up
but tomorrow morning my friends will see me because i cannot give up
because if i give up then i am even more of the shittty hypocrite than i already am

i will be alive tomorrow
so that i can smile and suffer and pretend that at the moment i like myself and that nothing is wrong except that
I'm tired

It's 01:42 in the morning.
If you're still up....tell me why

Fear
         Meds
Fear  
         Doctor
Fear
        Chair
Fear
        Reach out
Fear
        Lies
Fear
        Mom
Fear
Fear
Fear
Fear

my thoughts
my infinity thoughts
grasp
grasp at my soul
and tear it apart

my thoughts
my infinity toughts
wrench
wrench at my soul
and tear it apart

my thoughts
my infinity thoughts
tear
tear at my soul
and destroy me

my thoughts
my infinity thoughts
grasp my soul
and tear it away from sanity

An emptiness
Defined by isolationism...
A lonliness
Defined by desire...
A lack
Defined by me...

A desire
To fill the emotions
With substantial satiation
Enough to satisfy
The animal within
'Beast mode' never ends for me
A horror
Committed by me
Condemned by most
Cursed by all.....
Is this me?
Is this path mine?  
Am I destined...
To be a sojourner all my days
Is it predetermined?  
Or is this a path yet to be defined
By Him
And me....
Is it past that time?
The time or redefining reality?

....

I will redefine myself

Lies call to us all
We are never taught to do it
But we always do
Why
Its because that the idea of not getting caught
Is so tantalizing none can resist

I'm sitting alone
The half dead fire struggling to breath again a half empty bottle of water; not enough to **** it...
It's flames start once again...but small
Like tiny faeries dancing across the face of the embers hoping to let their passion ignite the memories of past
The faeries grow and as their brilliant vibrant life comes to an abrupt but equally gorgeous end they are consumed by young saplings of fire
Their children consume them as roots of coal give rise to stems of life.....
Fire-like life
Vicious...short...abrupt...extreme
Each flame- when slowed to accommodate our laborious minds- lives a life more vibrant than ours
A sizzle from the evaporating water heralds the arrival of a beautiful spire of intense heat
It burns....brighter than the sun but only for a millisecond...
Then...It dies...
And so does its comrades...
Until now... one solitary veteran remains...
He will not die
He will not wink out of eternal existence
He ensures that his memory is maintained by the life he leaves behind for new flame to arise
Like a phoenix incarnate the fire Roars! but only in a whisper
For this fire has seen it's end
Now Only the sad memories of orange-red embers remain hidden amongst the ashes
Soon the ashes will smother the remnanats of a once brilliant life
The fire: destroyed by its own product
It is no more
It's brilliance....eradicated...



I remember.
I rember your Brilliance.

am i the only one that feels that hellopoetry is no longer the platform I fell in love with some years ago....

I will never live you down
It's not as if anyone can
you are just this mountain of strength
a pillar of steadfastness
a picture of beauty
you made ugliness itself beautiful
you are someone i will always love and if you read this never forget it

A memory of a man
Suspended from the coarse necklace; a punishment for his sin.

Motionless weight, dead weight.

Silky tufts of trembling silvery hair;
The only sign of life's abandonment.

Gently as the blissful breeze blows it's protest-
An empty gesture of grace-
His once young locks...revitalised.

A thought; even a pitiful gale would fail to summon but the swaying of a blue headed pale bodied dead man.

when i **** somebody
i lose a part of me
and that is what i want
to some people that might seem strange
and reading this
i might seem like a sociopath
and i probably am
but  i felt i just had to explain
not really to you
but to me
because i need it
just to keep myself sane
,if a sociopath truly can  be sane,
so here i go explaining this to you as you are tied to this  chair
the best way i can explain is i see and know everything
well not everything
but too much
way too much
and as i see these things i feel them
i feel it all
all their lies
pains
insecurities
i guess i would call myself the ultimate empathiser
and because i see and feel all of these things
i have to loose them
and the only thing that works
is to steal a life
and let it haunt me
and attack me
and steal parts of me
and that makes me survive
so this is why you are about to die
why i am about to **** you

I sit outside here alone
The chilly air suspendes around me
The smell of wetness resonates boldly from the rain some twentt minutes ago
I wear my white formal shirt wrinkled and undone at the top and bottom as well as my black formal pants that protects my legs from the cold
It's dark....
Lights in the distance remind me of the isolation which beats in time to my heart
My fumbling hands reach for tge carton and I remove one
Placing it in between my lips, the taste making me anxious for what is to come
A scrape and a fizzle then a sudden yet small blaze of light erupts as the damp matches are lit
The frenzy of letting the flame touch the lip before the dampness kills it
The matche's flame burns out, ending its bright career
But not before it ignites the cigarette and leaves the tobacco smoldering like miniature embers
I inhale.... tasting the smoke and exhale, watching in awe at how the smoke lazily twists and curls in the air
I enjoy the taste of it in my mouth
I don't allow it to go further than my mouth simply enjoying the flavour
I finish one, staring at it as the sliver of doubt creeps in....
Better light another to make sure
I repeat the process but this time I inhale deeply on the first drag, allowing the bitter smoke to enter my lungs
Yup...There it is: the disgust
I sit in the dark like some kind of thief smoking a *** just for the sake of smoking it
I do what my friend taught me
I inhale deeply and take a big drag into my mouth and sharply breath it into my lungs
It stings......
It burns......
And I wait...wait for the- Ahh! There it is. The lightheadedness.
The only immediate effect I feel from smoking
It hits me harder than my freight train of insecurities
Here I'm sitting...
Outside in the dark as if I was a common criminal
My legs are on the table in front of me spread like a cheap *****'s
And in a way I'm allowing my insecurities to **** me as if I'm the cheap *****
I start to taste the disgustingness of the bile-bitter smoke in my mouth
The pretty patterns of smoke no longer making it worth it
I close my eyes and the dizziness causes me to feel like I'm on a boat in a sea somewhere about to drown
I'm never had seasickness but the nausea cripples me
I open my eyes and look at the half burnt stub I hold between my fingers like some posh *******
It smolders and despite the hate I feel towards its ugliness I love the beauty of the smoke
I realize how disgusting I am
How the smoke in my hand tastes like cud
How my below average body screams for attention
How the oily pimples on my chest swear at me each time I look in the mirror
I am disgusting
And so is this smoke
I close my eyes again and I feel like I'm falling forward
Towards the darkness within me
The darkness I kept locked away for so long
I plummet and right before the abyss I open my eyes and look at the now dead *** in my hand....

Maybe I need a new brand...

I watched him punch the wall
And it all seemed so much more dramatic
Because he has cancer
And he was wearing some dramatic ninja clothing
I knew that he had hurt his hand
But all that went through my mind was the contrast
The contrast between how he hugged me
(Light...as if he didn't want to apply pressure in case he hurt me)
And how hard it was to hold up a man who collapsed out of fear
Because he has cancer
And it was dramatic because when he collapsed he did it as if he had pain
As if the physical manifestation of his crippling fear was too much for his
Good guy better heart to handle
And as he calmed down all that went through my mind was how his hands were trembling
Not from the fear or anger or the cancer
But because he punched the wall
And as per usual came off second best
And it was dramatic
Because he was wearing all black
And all I can think of is how he transformed from a man to a sobbing little boy
Who said things that burn my heart and cause me to want to panic
Because he said

I DON'T WANNA DIE MAN. I'M DYING!  MAN I'M SO SCARED

And I can't stop remembering how that was the most honest thing he has ever let himself believe
It was dramatic
Because I think he's dying

I went through a lot for you
Said the nicest things
Treated you like what you were
And I hurt you
And you hurt me
Yet I know that I put way more effort in
I tried harder for you
And yes on many ways it was a little boy crying for attention
Wanting to be special
And yes that's pathetic
But you still took advantage of that
You still led me on
Even if you didn't notice you still did it
Even if you never wanted to hurt me you did
I keep on telling people that of the two girls I've ever truly liked one ****** with my emotions and the other lives in Durban
And this might just be it
This might be me finally letting it go
Saying *******
*******
for being the ***** you were that played with me until you got somebody else
Then literally dumped me like the fake emotions you had for me
You used me like a ******* experiment
And I just wanna say *******
Not in passing
Or in anger
But a real one
One that hopes you suffer for what you did to me
Onw that hopes one day I'll see you and you'll feel my pain
And you'll regret it all
One that hopes you see me years from now and you'll realise what you did to me
How you completely ****** with me
So *******
'My ******* orange princess.'

Let's write a piece together
I'll use my dreams for the drama
I'll use my nightmares for the fear(excited tone)
Yeah and I'll use my tears for the plot (fearful voice)
Yes great idea.  Your a genius(dreamy tone)
Really? (Hesitant)

(They love each other)

no ******* I just say random things(playful sarcastic tone)
Well maybe. .. I thought we could use your heart for the beauty(hesitant yet excited)
my heart is ugly
Your eyes are ugly if they cannot see your heart's beauty (playful tone)

(Tear in eye)maybe I could use yourheart to fix mine

Only if you'll fix mine

(They love each other)

People everywhere
They look at me
In disgust
what is that thing
They say
All the things they say
gather and attack
Attack my fortress
My defences
The defences I put up years ago to protect myself
From all the horrors
All the monsters
All the people
All the mindless freaks
That attack me
Just as they attack me now
And its hard
really hard
Why me
Why
They fail
Not the attackers
My defences they collapse and cave in
As they do that they collapse on me
Leaving me restrained
So that they have all the power they want
And they use it
Why me
Why

Every night I cry          I know
I wish I had the courage         you do
The courage to grab that blade      that is not courage
To put it against my skin     why
Drag it till the blood seeps  the surface      remain untainted
As if it would help            it will not
As if I would be better afterwards      you will

I do not cry every night         really
I have courage                really
I dont want a blade         really
Im fine really      F.I.N.E ****** up.  Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional
Nothings is wrong      there is never nothing wrong
Im just tired              we all are
I dont need help       we all do
I feel just fine I promise       *we  all do

hello
Said a broken voice
She wanted love
She wanted someone

hello is somoene there?
Said a scarred soul
Why did it happen
Why is she scarred

please help me
Whispered a tormented voice
To a hidden saviour
That would never help her

please
Said a broken soul
A soul broken
By broken promises

just leave me alone
Said a condemned voice
To the monsters in her head
Her broken head

..........
She said nothing
For nothing was left to say
Except

GOODBYE

Legend tells of ******* swing
She would sit and laugh and lovely sing
She would sing and smile
To see her men would travel many a mile
Her beauty made men enchanted
Such that they raved and ranted
Men longed for her
Such that they would slur
Her beauty was beyond known
Yet generously sown
For some have beauty
But none have her beauty
The ******* the swing
Who would sit qnd laugh and lovely sing

"it was a mistake"
thats what she said
how could it be a mistake
right afterwards i asked her
if she felt it
"felt what" she responded
the undeniable fact that we belong together
"yes " she said in a voice coated with hidden lies

whats wrong i asked
"i think it was a mistake" responded the *****

YES IT WAS

If you were Any Other Girl......
I wouldn't be writing this

If you were Any Other Grl......
All of these thoughts that stumble around my head like drunk men trying to find their way home wouldn't exist
And I say drunk men because it's easy to understand sober men
Yet these thoughts seem inexplicably intricate....

If you were Any Other Girl......
I'd be able to decipher all of these emotions and realize that after seven drafts of a poem I should probably give up on trying to explain that if I could I would nail my hands to the very stars themself if only it would give me a tongue crafted of pure gold....
Maybe then I'd be able to explain to every passing stranger how I can see a masterpiece in your very smile

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't stumble over wanting to kiss you

If you were Any Other Girl.....
I wouldn't want to brush your hair back slowly, acting like a walking cliché in the desperate hope that your smile would inject my pitiful heart with enough courage to lean in and just be close to you

If you were Any Other Girl....
I would have kissed you a hundred times over

But you see the truth is that......
You're not Any Other Girl
You're gorgeous
Your smile seeps into me like water soaks into the parched land and gives it new life
Your hair seems to have a life of its own and I can't help but think that if you were Medusa's daughter, being turned into stone would be worth it because the last thing imprinted on my vision would be a walking artwork
And what I want you to know is that when you smile I feel the precious bud of bravery blossom within my chest
And I manage to convince myself that I will kiss the most beautiful girl I've ever had the privilege of knowing
Yet when confronted with a face as pure as a Mondrian painting
And more beautiful than a Vermeer or a Botticelli
Massive waves seem to form over me and I stand beneath behemoths of beauty and I laugh.....as these waves crash over me
My inconsequential bravery is washed away in the face of your beauty as I realize for the first time that this girl is....... worth the frustration
She is worth the wait
Worth the energy
Worth the embarrassment of letting an awkard attempt at a kiss melt into a more awkward hug....
But the simple truth is.....
You are not Any Other girl
You.
Are.
Worth.
The.
Journey.
And I can not wait to savour as much of it as I can with you

This melodious clamour
Stumbles around inside my head
Drunk on thoughts of you
Intoxicated on the memories of your hugs
A clang of the sparkle in your eyes
A ba-dumm of the freckles that were scattered across your face like the stars scattered across the skies
And if I could I'd nail my soul to those very same stars if only it would give me the tongue that could explain to the blind world how precious you are...
How much I love your smile
How I want to reach up to your face and gentle gather up your star freckles and count them
Just to know how many freckles there are on your body
And I would....but only if I could because our meetings will be farther apart and fewer than the very freckle-stars upon your face
And at the very least the memory of your hugs will be the supernovas scattered across the fractured galaxy comprised of the precious memories of your presence
And when I remember your smile
My galaxy will tremble
It will shake as the light of transcendental beauty graces it
And when I remember your blush the galaxy will collapse....my galaxy will fall into itself and my memories turn on me...
A black hole will form and **** in all the emotions that aren't you
And In the end I'll have lost my heart
Taken over by the memory of you....
And my chest will ache
My stomach will knot and fight it's master
My longing and desperation to see you will manifest in the form of physical pain
And as I sit in my room
Writhing in pain
I will look up and close my eyes
And an image of you will form in my mind's eye
I will remember seeing you sitting in Tribeca....eating Red Velvet Cheescake....the cake a deep blood red
A red of passion
And I will remember how when you pulled out your cake fork
How two or three lines of that very same passionate red would form on your lips.....
And as I remember this I'll sit up
Smile
Stand
And stride into the future
Because I will miss you
I will want to see you
I will want to hold you
But I will walk on because all that lies between us is ....time.....right?
And that isn't so bad.....right?