I feel like giving up
My , once deep, reservoir
Of strength
Has been drained
Drained by the countless people
Saying things to me
About Me
Against me
Always me
Why me
**** me
I hate me
I wish just for once that someone would care
Maybe I'm not being reasonable
Maybe I'm being over sensitive
Maybe I'm being stupid
O how I wish I was stupid
But I am far from that
And maybe the smarter you get
The emptier your reservoir becomes
Thays the only explanation
The other one was just me grasping
Grasping for something to understand
Hoping
Wishing
Praying
That just for once in my
*******
Useless
God forsaken
*******
Life
That maybe just once
I would be Ok
I would be someone else

I understand not my life

your life is not made to be  understood

but then why did you give me this

because you need to understand not to understand

show me

I cannot

**** me

I cannot

save me

*I will not