Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
471 · Nov 2013
My letter to me #1
Ariel Taverner Nov 2013
My letter to me #1
Dear despondency

I beg of you leave me be.  I hace done no great evil unto this world? Have I?? I beg of you leave me to My own devices not that they are better but I prefer to destroy myself and not you. So leave my soul and bother another person.

Not yours sincerely
The despondent boy
TDA
But then maybe my despondency is a part of me
Continue reading...
465 · Apr 2015
the brilliant eyes
Ariel Taverner Apr 2015
the brilliant eyes
It's the eyes I'm telling you

There is this thing we have in modern photographical technology
It gives us the ability to reverse technology while simultaneously using an advancement in technology
What I'm talking about is how we can revert a colour photograph into a black and white photograph
It's kind of like taking away the brilliance of a photograph

People say that the eyes can show us who the person is

What I've seen in many
Nay all
Of the black and white photographs that I've seen is that when there are eyes present their brilliance is diminished
I like to believe it's because the 'windows to the soul" just do not have the power to shine so far
Across two photographs
But that belief has been changed

I truly believe that if nothing else it shows us the brilliance of a person

My belief changed when I saw her eyes
In a black and white pictures
Her eyes seem to be more brilliant than ever
It was phenomenal! Her joy and radiance shined deep into me! It made me smile! I don't even know why I smiled or why a pretty girl made me look so moronic?!
Even though I don't understand it I'm glad that it exists
Because I got to smile

The brilliance of a person is a small part of their charcater. I don't really know what brilliance is. But I know that people with brilliance are usually peoplw I get along with.
Dedicated to my good friend Amy Megan Young.
Continue reading...
464 · Aug 2016
the right guy
Ariel Taverner Aug 2016
the right guy
She choose the wrong ******* guy..

And the right guy is sitting right here....his hands cut and sliced from the shattered pieces of his heart that crumble in his palms
He doesn't seem to comprehend yet....that his heart is broken
That his pitiful attempts to put it back together only results in his blood spilling
His soul spilling
His life spilling
Continue reading...
463 · Jul 2015
smiles
Ariel Taverner Jul 2015
smiles
I'll tell you a story
Of two people
One who was a goddess with luscious Black hair
The other who's only beauty existed in his paintbrushes
Their names were Manipulation and Empathy
Respectively
Manipulation walked through the streets
Wearing her insecurities upon the sleeves of her designer coats and upon the makeup she wore
Boys saw a woman
Men saw an intimidating figure
Gentlemen saw a woman
Empathy saw her
He felt the pain in her mascara
And the tears in her eye liner
So he pulled out his brush and followed her
Imagining what could make her eyes smile along with her mouth
He started painting
His mind filling with images and ideas
His eyes glazing over as the Channel opened
His mouth slightly parted in concentration
He painted flowers beneath her stilettos as she walked
And trees above her hair
He painted sensations of beauty and nature
He painted smells that invaded her nose
He painted sounds that bombarded her ears with elegance
He poured his soul into the birds that flew around her
His life force into the river that flowed with a furious crescendo
He painted until manipulation stopped and smiled
And as empathy lay there dying he never did know whether the smile reached her eyes
Because she was wearing sunglasses
Continue reading...
459 · Nov 2013
My letter to me #2
Ariel Taverner Nov 2013
My letter to me #2
Dear desperation

I ask only that you do not grab me as readily as you do.  For whenever I desire something from gazing upon the ground to catching my true love you are there.  Now I do not say leave.  No.  For I desire you.  You can be useful.  But come at my will not yours.  

Not yours sincerely
Your master
TDA
Desperation is useful but dangerous
Continue reading...
457 · Jan 2014
This is me
Ariel Taverner Jan 2014
This is me
You know how people say 'I cry everyday'
Im not like that I
should cry everyday
but I don't allow myself to

I am in constant battle with myself.
Emotions vs. Rationalization

And every time my emotions win they send me to hell until rationalization or forgetfullness pulls me back

My emotions say things like 'your useless'
'nobody loves you'
'you should die'
and I know these are lies but the thing Is that coz I know they are lies it hurts even more that I would betray myself like that
And this happens all the time
When rationalization wins im sane for a while but I know it won't last long becsuse the emotions become more while my rationalization is constant.  Strong but constant.  
So I wait in constant fear of when it boils over. In fear of the pain my fuckedupness will cause others coz my emotions control me and say nasty things to others. And seeing your pain hurts me
And you may not hate me but my emotions hate me.  
And if I hate someone I cause them pain because I dont easily hate someone.
So this is me
This is who I am



And I hate it
Probably the most honest thing I have ever written
Continue reading...
453 · Sep 2013
Girl girl with red eye
Ariel Taverner Sep 2013
Girl girl with red eye
Girl girl with red eye
Tell me truth or tell me lie
Truth be harsh But lie be kind
So tell me lie to my eye
Before my soul go to sky
tell me truth or tell me lie
Continue reading...
448 · Jul 2015
my Lament for love
Ariel Taverner Jul 2015
my Lament for love
She asked me:"  Why do we love?"
I thought a million thoughts
Amongst a sea of ravenous slippery thoughts
I grabbed one and replied:" Because we fear being alone. We know it will seem to be more than anything else but in that moment, in that second when your lips touch his you will be willing to go through it all ten times again just so that you could relive that imperfectly perfect moment again. "

they say infatuation makes you lose sense.
*infatuation passes Zoë
A very very old rant I found on a piece of paper.  I think it's better than a lot of my current stuff.

*I wonder if you still read my poetry*
Continue reading...
447 · Nov 2015
The Memory
Ariel Taverner Nov 2015
The Memory
People say that they never forget the day they met the love of their life. I'm different. I can't remember the day nor the week nor the month. I only remember Her.

She was standing there, at some party I assume, but in my minds eye she was standing alone in a room dominated by pure white. Nothing around her mattered. She took over ever part of what I saw. Her memory fought with and mercilessly destroyed the other inconsequential memories of that month until it had found a space big enough within my brain for The Memory of her to be embedded within my consciousness.

Eventually as the years passed so did our fire and our beauty,  replaced with embers and wrinkles. The embers,  not signs of a waning love, but if a strong, steady, rooted love that burns with with consistency and deceptive passion. The wrinkles,  representatives of each kiss, each hug, each wink, each Smile, each frown, and each joyous moment that ever reverberated between us. The twinkles within our eyes fueled by the countless 'I-Love-You' s that we gifted to each other. I started to forget things: where I put my shoes... what I ate for supper... what my job was... my family... my birthday... my name...

I write now not remembering the start of this story. I have holes within my memories... Blank spaces, large and small, where I kept my treasures.

I forgot Her.

She left my memory long ago, preferring my soul. I lie on this bed recalling two things: I can Write and I have a Wife.

She is in my soul. I forgot the day I met her and I forgot her. Yet our love ensured that she would never leave me.
Continue reading...
447 · Oct 2015
The second study of the pen and the brush
Ariel Taverner Oct 2015
The second study of the pen and the brush
Shall we seek the variations between the pen and the brush?
And a long journey it is
Long and winding
Like the meandering path of a pen
Continously fickle marks,
Trickled onto the page
By a thin reedy man
Pretentious preservation of seemingly inconsequential information
Unlike the brush it is steady and small pain
The brush casts vast swathes of colour about it
Wild uncontrolled vortexes of pure passion
Powered by the fire of the caster
Energetic excitement epitomising the intention of the information
Wild and Free
A powerful and crippling instantaneous pain
Lasting only briefly
Shall we seek the variations between the pen and the brush?
Continue reading...
444 · Jan 2016
23:45 blues
Ariel Taverner Jan 2016
23:45 blues
It's 23:45 and I'm sitting outside in the rain
It's chilly and this weather makes me want to cuddle
The lightning strikes while the thunder rumbles across my vision
Vivid flashes blind me and in the darkness followed by the bright flash I see you
I see your dark wet hair from after you showered
An auburn red that soaks into my memory
I see the navy blue boobtube dress you wore that day and I remember how amazing your neck and shoulders looked
I see your spine as I remember massaging your back in the softest most pleasurable way just so that you could be comfortable
I see your gorgeous legs draped over my lap as I remember tickling them and flirtatiously pushing your dress up a bit more each time
I see your giggly smile as I presented my hands to you and I remember how you put my hand on your hip And explored the other as if you could unlock all the secrets that lay within
I remember imagining kissing you

I remember each detail of that day just like I remember every single ******* book on my therapist's shelf because it doesn't matter how many time I call myself brave I still can't look him in the face as he helps me to dissect my morbid disgusting insecurities......

I remember how I told my friend that I fell harder for you than standards do at a new years party

I remember telling you my secret.....the one that you alone know on this earth...
What happened to that?
What happened to 'never letting me feel that way'
And I can't help but think that at the end of the day I was just a stupid ******* kid who fell for an amazingly ****** up woman....
And yes I said ****** up
And yes I said kid

I remember the stupid note I hid in your sketch book
And I ******* hope you don't find it
And at the same time I pray you do so that maybe you could fathom the pain you put me through

I remember how the abyss threatened to drag me down as I regretted not trying to kiss you

I remember thinking that I'm willing to dive into the abyss for you.....

At the end of the day I never did jump
I never needed to
Why would somebody jump if they had someone willing to push them
Not the greatest but the purest.
Continue reading...
442 · Jun 2015
Sad
Ariel Taverner Jun 2015
Sad
I'll tell you a story
Of Two men
Who were best friends
One who had a predisposition to feeling nothing
The other who had a predisposition to sadness, suffering, and helping the people whom he loved
Their names were pity and melancholy
Respectively
One day pity said:"I want to be sad Mel. I want to feel sad. I wonder what being sad feels like?"
"Rather terrible I'd assume Pit." replied Melancholy
"Well I guess I'll never know." Said Pity and with that the two friends went their seperate ways
Melancholy was conflicted because he wanted to give Pity everything. Including sadness.
So he sat down and started planning. He thought of sadness and raindrops and death and tears and scars and pain and cruelty and anger and many sad things about the human race.
He drew things. Things that created tears in his eyes. Things that caused the void in his chest to deepen.
Then he was ready
He gathered all of his pencils and pictures and paints and brushes and palettes
And he set out to paint the streets with sorrow
He painted raindrops on the walls
And death on the floor
And cruelty on the lampposts
And suffering on the windows
He painted and painted
He painted a man's tears raining down from the walls
To drown the men on the floor
As the demons sniggered in delight from their lampposts
And their victims of torture hung fromm the windows
Melancholy painted.
He turned the river of tears into a river of blood
And when he ran out of red paint
He slit his wrists and used his own blood
Pouring his life into his sadness
Pouring his life into his river
And then it was finished
His masterpiece of sadness was complete
"Maybe Pit will feel sadness." he thought as he lay in the wet paint and blood with a small smile on his face
Pity walked around the corner and saw the tears and the demons and the corpses and he was scared
He followed the ominous river and at the end he found an extremely well painted corpse
It looked just like his friend Melancholy
He picked up the painting and as he watched the life abandon his sad friend's eyes he felt it
The pit
The void growing in his chest
Painful as if it were an acid that burnt up into his throat
As he watched the life abandon melancholy's life he cried
Because his friend was dead
And he was sad
Something in trying
Continue reading...
442 · Jul 2015
a deleted text message
Ariel Taverner Jul 2015
a deleted text message
I've been reading over my old writing
And I see something in my art
It's scary and I don't know why
I'm scared of what my most visceral art is
That raw ******* emotion will rip me apart if I drew it
Or painted it
Or bleached it
Or whatever
I created a prison of words for my most painful emotions
It ******* hurts so ******* much
And I'm so ******* scared of who I am
Continue reading...
437 · Mar 2016
My Fantasies about You
Ariel Taverner Mar 2016
My Fantasies about You
Sitting close next to each other in the car listening to the same music with the same set of earphones, ******* my parents off by ignoring them and giggling

Sitting on the hood of a car with my head on your shoulder as we talk about the beautiful things in this world

Us.

Us in an art studio we rented for two hours. Unlimited paints and colours. Everything from the walls to the chairs to each other are the canvases

Sitting at a family dinner talking to my family as I sip wine from my right hand and curl my left hand around yours. We don't need to talk to each other just be with each other.  

Walking in to the room to find you passed out from exhaustion. Smiling because I'm happy that you feel safe enough to sleep around me.

Falling asleep with you in my arms. I fall asleep with the smell of your hair on my mind.

Covering your sleeping figure with a blanket.

Falling asleep without a blanket. Waking up with one.

Falling asleep alone. Waking up with you.

You

You kissing me awake

Drawing you.

Seeing you. Running to you catching you and lifting you as I hug you and twirl you.

Laughing until we cry

Driving along. Seeing a puppy in the street. Take it home wash it feed it and play with it. Together with you.

Buying a glass Rose and giving it to you.

Smudging your lipstick.

Helping you to put your makeup on and giggle as I make small mistakes just to annoy you.

Painting your nails. Taking the brush and dabbing your nose to see your smile.

Going on a run with you through the forests. Letting you win because I enjoy running behind you.

Getting lost with you by my side. Telling you that 'lost is relative'.

Sitting on a Park bench with you. Talking about the people walking past. Speculating on how God did his job well.

Explaining my art to you

Listening to you for as long as you can talk.

Seeing you concentrate on some small task. You do not notice me there. Seeing who you are when you're alone.

Reading a book in front of the fire as you sit beside me and read a different one. We compete for the blanket.

Reading my poetry that I wrote for you about you.

You forgiving me.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's pouring outside. Sitting at a Window and telling you about how I used to do this as a child. Having you rest your head on my shoulder as we silently share the moment, chilly from the wet cold air.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's raining heavily. Going outside with you waiting until we're both soaked then tell you how beautiful you look. Hugging you.

Hugging you in the rain.

Kissing you in the rain.

Walking under an umbrella as a thunderstorm rages around us. Being close together as a little silo of dry air is created around us under the umbrella. A tiny world all to ourself.

Falling asleep to the sound of rain. You are next to me.

Spontaneously buying an artwork for you that you saw and liked at a flea market.

Buying you a puppy.
An ever growing list.
Continue reading...
435 · Feb 2014
My orange princess in tears
Ariel Taverner Feb 2014
My orange princess in tears
You sent me a song
While we were talking and that was it
Nothing else you just sent it
And before I listenee I googled the lyrics and read them as I listened
Im glad I did coz you were trying to say something
You wanted me to understand
The pain
The fear
The horror

The tears I could never cry

So I read it and I cried
My soul is stained by the tears I cried
No tears flowed down my cheeks for even though I want to be the person you save your heart for I cannot even cry real tears for you
And in the end I still cant cry
In the end in just a little boy with kind words that are never enough for someome like you

The orange princess is in tears
In a bath of tears
Tears cried by my soul for her
The tears blrnd around her seeming to want to be part of her but can never be because the pain they show are just not worthy of her
They mix with the red droplets of blood leaking from my eyes
For to see you makes eyes such as mine cry tears of blood
Together the blood and the tears make a sea of red around my orange princess
Swirling
Mixing....
......
......


Crying
Continue reading...
434 · Jun 2015
the leaf and the rock
Ariel Taverner Jun 2015
the leaf and the rock
It's as if I was floating along a trickle of water like a leaf
Meandering
Quite happily
Through my life
Happy that I was going where I wanted to go
That I was going where my plans intended for me to go
But then I hit a rock and by some magical combination ofthe wwater's flow and balance
I stayed pushed against that rock
And I stayed there for four hours
For four glorious hours
But then the trickle swept me away
But I should have taken maybe one extra minute
Just to feel your lips pressed onto mine
Just to feel your body pressed against mine
And I know that my plans
And my life
Will not allow for another second of me being pushed against that rock
But I regret that I didn't make my perfect memory better
So that when the incense that bursts alight when I think of you
Would smell
Even better

**** I want to kiss you....
Continue reading...
431 · Sep 2015
My Disposition
Ariel Taverner Sep 2015
My Disposition
Striding in metamorphosis
Changing in violation
Of the past entity
That dictates the minds beliefs
Believing in his existence
Denying his love
Believing in his grace
Denying his forgiveness
Living lives of stagnated development
Learning...
Growing in theory only
Practically a lie as each step lands upon the previous one
A journey of inner growth
Yet sprouting only protrusions
Continue reading...
429 · Jun 2014
cowardice
Ariel Taverner Jun 2014
cowardice
I do not know why I did it
Because I'm scared
Im a ******* coward
I cant take a leap
I never have been able to and probably never will
But I want you to know that infatuation passes
And either im the most ****** up person in the world or somehow despite it all I do love you
And the fault in our stars
Puta it very nicely or whatever
And everyone says that im too youngto understand livlove
Maybe they are right and I was scared
Thats why I asked
Because deapite everything I say which is true
I dont want to destroy myself
Even though I want to die
There is something inside of me that is still seeking to preserve me
And yes I have to be drunk on alcohol and tired for it to come out
I know its selfish
But its real
And I hate it
But iv learnt that sometimes if you decide to be a coward then you will live to see another day
Continue reading...
427 · Jun 2015
classified
Ariel Taverner Jun 2015
classified
You have to be sure
You have to make a decision
Then you have to drag that decision outside and beat it with a stick
Then drag it back inside and put it in a chair and torture it
Until you have squeezed out every last drop out of that ****** and you know deep in your heart that you have made the best decision you could possibly have made
Continue reading...
424 · Sep 2013
wakefulness
Ariel Taverner Sep 2013
wakefulness
in wakefulness I sleep
in sleep I live
in life I die
in death I laugh
in laughter I cry
in crying I tear
in tearing I sleep
Continue reading...
424 · Aug 2016
learning to live without you
Ariel Taverner Aug 2016
learning to live without you
And as I attempt to adjust to breathing without air I realize that it was never about me. For you... It was all about you. Just like my art
Continue reading...
422 · Sep 2013
I am the master
Ariel Taverner Sep 2013
I am the master
I am the master
Said the servant

He smirked an evil smile
That seemed beautiful and innocent

I am overlord
Said the underlord

She cried
As he hit her

Why
Why

She stood up and fought back
She lost and was punished

She cried
As he hit her

Why
Why

She fought and almost won
But the master was too strong

Why
Why
Never give up

#FOREVERWRITE
Continue reading...
418 · Jul 2015
and she painted
Ariel Taverner Jul 2015
and she painted
And she painted
It was ugly
Scenes of  dismemberment
Blood drops raining down on her soul
Heavier when they accumulate
And she painted
Until the weight
Crushed her belief
In goodness
And  she painted
Because men are all the same
And the drugs never helped
And her daddy wanted a boy
And she painted
Because slapping her incredible pain onto a piece of ******* cloth
Was better than actually getting ****** on it
She painted
And it was ugly
I have no idea why I chose to write this ugliness.
Continue reading...
417 · Sep 2013
YOU DID IT SOCIETY
Ariel Taverner Sep 2013
YOU DID IT SOCIETY
Society
You did it
                    Whatever it is
It hurts
It burns
It lies
It destroys

Society
You did it
                    Whatever it is
It shows the truth
To blind eyes
It hides the truth
From sharp gazes

Society
You did it
                    Whatever it is
Lies upon lies
Truth behind the wall
Secrets exposed
To those who don't understand

Society
You did it
                    Whatever it is

IT IS SOCIETY
Continue reading...
415 · Mar 2014
Happilynever after
Ariel Taverner Mar 2014
Happilynever after
Itsallthesame

In ever movie
Story
Myth
Rumour

Itsallthesame

The guy ***** up
The girl leaves
The guy chases her
Happily ever after

Itsallthesame

The guy looks across the room
He sees a girl
The guy chases her
Happily ever after

Itsallthesame

The guy works hard
The guy is strong
The guy fixes it
The guy doesn't get hurt
But my darling we actually do

So *******


Happily never after
Not good piece juat letting my instinct pull Me
Continue reading...
413 · Jul 2015
almost a :'fuck you'
Ariel Taverner Jul 2015
almost a :'*******'
I don't always write masterpieces
But if you sift through all the junk
You'll find a gem or two
Continue reading...
410 · Feb 2014
My orange princess
Ariel Taverner Feb 2014
My orange princess
To my dear orange princess

The slow sombre air is stifling
I wish sometimes it would be more exciting
There are no women in the room
Only females
I do not gaze upon any of these females with lust or attraction
I return to my much more exciting book
Suddenly a presence enters the room
I look up confused and my mouth drops wide open
There she stands the most beautiful thing that there can be
She stands there in an orange dress
Not suited for occasions such as this
But she makes it fit
Its perfect for her body
Her smile
Her glasses
Her hair
She is perfection
And I stare
She is so vivacious my heart starts beating so loud I expect people to look towards the sound
I continue staring at this beautiful creature
She looks at me then with a smile of bemused etiqutte she wonders what im doing
With a shock I realize she does not realize the beauty that she is blessed with
this is a travesty beyond comprehension
I will show her how her smile brightens the day
How her curve entices men
How her lips enchant every living creature on earth
I will show her or die trying
I will show her the orange princess
Continue reading...
409 · Mar 2016
Letters to my demons
Ariel Taverner Mar 2016
Letters to my demons
Dear Alcohol and.....'You'. You should meet up. You guys have so much in common. You'd be great friends

I mean, you both got me aroused. You by your tantalizingly forbidden nature and Alcohol by.... Well alcohol. No seriously you guys are very similar! Neither of you have substance. You substituted your personality with a pretty face and a prettier body. And alcohol....Well you are a liquid. Both of you also look pretty on the outside while hiding your destructive nature on the inside. You, with a model's face and a statue's heart, and Alcohol with...well pretty bottles....you know? Even how I think of you two is similar. I mean....my therapist knows all about how both of you ****** my life up. I'm only 16 for ***** sake. You guys are so similar in fact that you only cause internal damage and extrenal signs only start manifesting as a result of prolonged exposure. Both of you got me intoxicated on a false promise of happiness. You promised a time of waiting and a future between us but only delivered heartache. Alcohol promises euphoria but delivers a hangover and liver damage. Both forcefully ripped happiness out of my future, stuffed it into the present, leaving only pain in my future....
See....You both helped me grasp onto the impossible hope of something intangible. And the funniest thing of them all is how you caused each other. You were attracted to my pain and angst caused by alcohol. And alcohol? Well we're good friends again after you.
Continue reading...
407 · Dec 2014
we will soar
Ariel Taverner Dec 2014
we will soar
Let me put it this way
If our life is a constant swim in deep waters
We would need to swim long and far
We face our fears and pains in the forms of monsters trying to pull us under
We face life as the water trying to drown us
We face things in such a fatalistic manner
Let's cheer up
Let's make sure that if there is a newbie swimming next to us that looks at us
Let's make sure that that newbie can and will see how to swim
And swim we shall
We shall swim and kick the monsters in their ugly faces
And rise above life's efforts to drown us and we will soar
Oh how we will soar. We shall soar the skies and the water will never again hurt us.


We will soar
Continue reading...
406 · Apr 2014
The rapture of the orange princess
Ariel Taverner Apr 2014
The rapture of the orange princess
She is like my ecstacy

I talk to her and I love it

I get so high

On her comments

On her poems

On her words

On the way she says tge words

She releases all the tension

All the pain

But like all

Good

Drugs

There is a down side

After I take my dose

I need more

I need more of my pure rapture

That's what I'm calling this drug

The rapture of the orange princess
Continue reading...
402 · Jun 2014
Sia (song by sia)
Ariel Taverner Jun 2014
Sia (song by sia)
Be my friend
Hold me
Wrap me up
I am small
And needy
Warm me up

*they say that the smallest packages hold the biggest things
Continue reading...
400 · Dec 2013
A message
Ariel Taverner Dec 2013
A message
Dear reader

This is strange but if you are a  photographer (professional)((with finances))  please contact me so I can talk to you

Yours sincerely
Me
Continue reading...
397 · Dec 2013
The plunge
Ariel Taverner Dec 2013
The plunge
I dont want to be who I am
Make me someone else
But not somebody smart
O god no
Make me someone stupid
I hate being who I am

*if you can please help me
Continue reading...
396 · Jun 2015
her
Ariel Taverner Jun 2015
her
I want a her in my life
Like all those people
Who talk about her
The goddess they met
Or the date they're going on
And I know that I'll never be a wilfred owen
Or an ee Cummings
Or a sipho sepamla
But when I write about a her I feel closer to being a master than ever before
Continue reading...
394 · Jan 2015
uhm...... music?
Ariel Taverner Jan 2015
uhm...... music?
I love my earphones
Besides the music
And the occasional spark it CAN add to fashion

I love them because to a certain extent it lends me this sense of oblivious-ness..... (is that a word? )

I sit here in the airport and I think.....
I imagine
What his story is
And why she cried the last time she cried
It's a challenge to do this without the sound of their voice
But it's fun
A pointless ramble
Continue reading...
392 · Oct 2013
Lies hidden
Ariel Taverner Oct 2013
Lies hidden
The first time I cried
I said it all
I opened up and hoped she would help
But all she said was
it gets better

I hoped yet again and reached out
Please help me my heart cried
My soul screeched
All she says is
it gets better

Please I cried silently
it gets better

I scremed shouted lashed out
Please let this end
Please just talk to me
Please help me
I screamed to her surpise
stop it it gets better

I let it all out
Everything
All my secrets
All my lies
All my questions
All my anxieties
She talked
And I hope she would finally listen
Finally help
stop pitying yourself *

.........

it gets better


it gets better

*well *******
Lies are all around us as they Lie
Continue reading...
390 · Mar 2014
Haha (words)
Ariel Taverner Mar 2014
Haha (words)
You dont understand
We do

how can you use words like that
you have no idea what it means

Guess the trick is to find out
Wether you are you or we

you think you do though
meanwhile what passes your lips is a lie

You can also change
From you to we

maybe not a lie to you
but a lie to reality

But why does it have to take a catastrophe
For you to become we

you say things callously
not caring

Just release your arrogance
And destroy your ignorance

if you dont understand you might as well slit your wrists

dude im so depressed

I feel so sad

ag man just go commit suicide or something haha

Haha

haha

Yeah haha thays all
Do not say things if you cannot comprehend it
Continue reading...
390 · Nov 2013
My quote #3
Ariel Taverner Nov 2013
My quote #3
Know this dear one. I am not everyone. I am Different have you not realized this? I will not waver, give up or stop trying I am me and me is strong.  Even if you change for better or for worst you will still be levels above everybody else
I love you?
Continue reading...
388 · Nov 2013
My quote #5
Ariel Taverner Nov 2013
My quote #5
Know this dear one.  You are nothing but a liar to yourself.  I do not condemn you no. I merely want you to know that when you say"i am ugly" you are lying! When you say "I am stupid" you are lying.  Whenever you lie to yourself I will protect you and show you the truth this I promise!
I love you?
Continue reading...
387 · Jan 2015
beautiful fun
Ariel Taverner Jan 2015
beautiful fun
Bi-curious seems like such a horrible term don't you think
I can't really put my finger on it
That's probably because I'm not allowed to touch what's not mine
But nobody said anythng about looking
And that's what I'm doing
I'm looking
Or searching
Or you could even say that I'm enquiring
Yes I am curious
But I'm not Bi-curiousi don't know if that distinction is as important as I make it out to be
I could say it in simple terms
I like boys and girls
Or I could say it in a label
I am bisexual
I have however come to one final conclusion
And that's that I'm not bi-curious
Or bisexual
I just see the beauty in all humans
And I want to indulge in said beauty
( Even though indulge might be the wrong word.............
Hey. :) let's smile
Continue reading...
387 · Mar 2014
Do you know?
Ariel Taverner Mar 2014
Do you know?
I wish he knew

I wish she knew

He is so cute so handsome
The perfect guy

She is amazing utterly pure abd beautiful

His lips as soft as velvet
His hands so gentle
His eyes so thoughtful

Her lips like pure silk
Her hands so small and tendrr
Her eyes the epitome of intent

He kissed me once
We were drunk

She kissed me once
I was drunk

The deathly smell of intoxication on his lips meeting with mine

The sweet numbness of intoxication mixing into her breath

My poison flowing into him numbing the effects of his drunkenness

Her vivacious poison numbing the numbness. Like alcohol but better and sweeter

There was no lust in me for him only him to be mine

I did not wish for her body I wished for her to be mine and mine alone

I would **** any ***** who so much as dares look at him

I would break the teeth of any guy who does anything to her

Ugh

****

I wish I could show him

I wish she could just see

I would never let him down

I would kiss her, tell her she is beautiful

I would smothrt my pains in his sweet tender arms

I would call her just to say 'I love you'

I would save my tears for him in two differnt jars. One big. One small.

I would cry rivers for her

The big one for happiness
The small one for pain
Both because of him

I woildt break my arm over and over for every tear spilt from her precious eyes

I wish he knew

I wish she knew
Continue reading...
386 · Jun 2014
(10w) cowardice
Ariel Taverner Jun 2014
(10w) cowardice
I am

        A coward

Beyond a shadow
of
a doubt
Continue reading...
384 · Feb 2015
i am lonely
Ariel Taverner Feb 2015
i am lonely
it is not a lustful lonely
or a ****** one
or a perverted lonely
but a sit on the roof holding her as we cry for hours taking solace in each other's arms kind of lonely
Continue reading...
383 · Nov 2014
Classified
Ariel Taverner Nov 2014
Classified
Have you ever met a girl that can make burning ****
And cutting beautifhul
Caring ugly and pain vivacious
She is so amazing
Then her beauty drags you in
And you know that neither of you are ready
And that only pain will be the result
But you go coz the razor flame and the pain calls to you like a song that haunts your soul
A song that never leaves you
A song that floats in your vision like smoke
Palpable but you cannot grasp it
You can never feel it
I will never stop caring
Continue reading...
383 · Jul 2014
Well? Is there a song for me?
Ariel Taverner Jul 2014
Well? Is there a song for me?
They say there is a song for everything
For every triumph
For each failure
For everything

Well ?

Is there a song for me?

A song that ranges from a soft operatic voice to a death metal voice
The chirruping almost sickening happiness voice
The soft melancholic voice
Is there a song like that?

Well?

Is there a song for me?

A song that will tell you about my smiles when I was younger
A song that will indulge you within emotions I never understood
A song that will take you through the fear of the first rugby game and the pain of the fractured wrist
The daunting experience of a first crush ....
The terror of being plunged in awareness.....
The horror of being ostrasized
Spending my time alone with my new awareness
Being taunted
Being teased

Well.....

Is there a song for me?

A song to show my emotions
My realization that I was different
My horror at being different
My hatred at the world
My hatred at god
And his falsehoods
My looking into a mirror and seeing naught but something you hate
My masochism
My scars
My life.....

Well

Is there a song for me?
Find your song
Continue reading...
379 · Aug 2014
he grew up
Ariel Taverner Aug 2014
he grew up
He loved many things
He loved to dance
He loved to read
He slept often
And dreamt dreams of beauty and wonder
His life was good
But then he grew up
And he soon had to dance on a dancefloor of blades
His books burnt his mind
His bed became a place of tortured thought
His dreams became dreams of death and destruction
He has no life
Continue reading...
379 · Apr 2014
lonely
Ariel Taverner Apr 2014
lonely
Hello*        
hopeful smile
He whispered because he was lonely

you know, I missed you  
hopeful smile    
He whispered to the darkness

anything you want to say?
suggestive
He whispered to the darkness

Ok fine.  I'll forgive you
ecstatic smile
He smiled the first real smile in ages

yesterday matheww made fun of me again
frown and look at ground
He was bullied

I wish you would help me
tear
I said in desperation

Answer me please
looking up with tears and desperation
I knew there would only be silence

show yourself
anger
I screamed

I'm scared
curl into ball in corner
I said

I'm lonely
start rocking back abd forth
I whispered

no I'm not lonely I'm happy
fake smile apoears in b face while rocking

*he he he he
Continue reading...
371 · May 2015
phones
Ariel Taverner May 2015
phones
It's fascinating isn't it?
How we can be on an eight hour trip
And we see nothing outside
Excepts the outside inside our phones
Spot the irony
Continue reading...
370 · Aug 2014
a screen
Ariel Taverner Aug 2014
a screen
it is a screen
maybe some beautiful words
and the concept of someone being there for you is so comforting
the w2ant and need for us to fill that hole of lonloiness inside of us is what drives it in the beggining
but when we realize that it does not really fill that gap in our heart
well that is when we look for something else to try and fill that gap
for a while it is the fact that we truly think that someone loves us
and they usually do
but when that does not fill the gap
it becomes the willingness to put in all of our effort when someone else needs it
we do that but in the end you realize that it is not enough
we might do all that we can but over a screen what we do is never enough and never will be
so yes in the end all we truly are to each other is a screen
we may say all those beautiful words but deep down in the deepest darkest hole inside of our hole of lonliness
that is where the reality lies
the truth
the truth that we push down as far as we possibly
to my orange princess: i know that you have been very confused as of late as to why i have been such a total *******. i am sorry for that and this time you cannot tell me that sorry is enough or that it is not needed. i hope this gives you some clarification as to why i cannot connect with you anymore. but please know that i truly do love you
Continue reading...
368 · Dec 2014
Beauty
Ariel Taverner Dec 2014
Beauty
Tell me what beauty is

last time I answered they told me I couldn't use her as an example. So instead this time I say :

I don't understand the question

just to buy myself some time

It was not a question. You shall answer.
Tell me what beauty is

but I don't understand the question. If you could just exp-

*the man's fist cracks across my face. The power of the force throwing me off of the chair. I start chuckling. Laughing manically like in all those movies you see. And with fire in my eyes and defiance in my heart..... I say Her name. It rebounds off of the walls hitting the ugliness in the dark room. Hitting the pain. And knocking it all over.  It comes back to me and envelopes me in a cushion of tranquility. As if I am underwater and all sound has stopped.  Light is softened and my heart soars. The pain disappears.  The agony evaporates. The anger expunged. All of it replaced by the glory that is your name. The elegance enraptured within that disyllabic word. The sheer and unadulterated beauty that is just your name. And with a smirk I think: and that's only her name.

You will pay

I see the promise of pain in his eyes but I know nothing will be strong enough to overwhelm her name.
These days if you find anything that is not iconically beautiful beautiful you will suffer because life disagrees
Continue reading...
Next page