Feeling down
Eyes glued to the ground
nothing can drain out that sound
in the back of my mind
all the time
tears come out
feeling momentarily paralyzed
fear coursing down
my spine
and mixed together with
adrenaline and bad nightmares
although the nightmares
were never just in my dreams
for I had already lived them through
reminding me night by night
this battle is a constant
fight
at war within
trying to fight something
I will never
win
or will I?
all I can say is I survived
yes, I am still alive.

when a poet falls in love with you
you can never die
they will notice the way
you rub your palms and look down
when someone is angry at you
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's
how you never crease any pages of books
and how you close your eyes when you dance in your kitchen
with your record player on

they will find all of the words
that they see you as
and turn them into something beautiful

people say you die twice
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time

if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name
you will be alive
for eternity