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  Oct 2017 Taylor Kennerly
The Dedpoet
....and in your gigantic presence
With your miniscule body
You are the mirror
Of the deepest stars
Past the spaces between
Spaces,
Into the mist
Your red tailed gaze
Into the echoes
Of Babylon's Gardens,
A grace in a dance
Of your broken life,

The glutton behind the father
Who took you,
The tumultuous perfume
Left with scars behind the drapes
The neighbors couldn't hear,

The sadness in your soul
Inside the woman who
Loves me,
Slender hopes under the lines
Of the dream's eyes,
Your ears never caught
The exhausted bitterness
That only heard an immense
Change in the future,

I am here woman,
As you bite your silver lips,
Arc your metallic spine,
And the bronze shine in your
Otherwise copper hair,
I become a Magnetar
In the metallics of your body,
Mighty embraces will kiss
The crystalline eyes
With lips on fire
And singing redemption's lullaby,

Together killing your past,
Your hands hold distant visions
That bloom living roses,
Who tears are of lost lilies
In an ebony pond,
A fertile present
Gives birth the momentous,
No one can change your past,
But you're a basacrifice
Void of alcoholic bliss,
The grapes before
Now dead forever
Is a sober feeling.

Magnolia of mine,
Like a flowerbed of omnipotent
Desires,
You bloom the ***
With a martyrs sacrifice,
Your hopeless days are gone
And  I am grateful for
The circles under your eyes,
The vain of your existed
Pains,
Your heart transfixed by the
Newness of our love,
Though you still look at the old
Curtains,
The confused and turbid tumult
That bore it's hole
Into your ways,
I have come when you began
To love again the life
Over a darkness under the
Nights skin,
Tearing away the darkness,
A dawn song has spread
Over the horizon,
And your light is a melancholy
Of stars,
From your eyes grow
An ocean of time,
And here we float with hope
I can only Revere
That all the worst
Life gave to you,
A fleece of golden grace

And I can only be thankful
As your sorrow
Has birthed a certain kind
Of grace with the
Pieces left intact.
Taylor Kennerly Oct 2017
Things I don’t want:
To be a someone’s project.
A missionary’s quest for redemption and salvation from their depts owed to their universe
Things I don’t want:
To be imperfect.
To have my mask ripped from my hands
And reveal the cracks across a face of China
The scars I’m trying so desperately to heal
Things I don’t want:
Feelings.
Feelings of abandonment, distrust, insecurity
Things I don’t want:
Feelings.
Feelings that are too sincere
Because sincerity is subjective and unreliable
Things I don’t want:
More nightmares
The kind that happen wherever you sit or stand
That cloud your eyes and make your head hurt
That can follow you like a fog throughout the day, and week,
and month
Things I don’t want:
More tears
And pain
That you can’t find to blame on anyone but yourself
For getting your hopes up again
Even when you know from your past you shouldn’t
Things I don’t want:
To travel backwards
Into a place I hoped I’d never go back to again
Because it was too dark
And draining
And I don’t have that energy to spare again
Things I don’t want:
More sad poems
Because sad poems mean you’re sad in real life
And not just on the lines of a piece of paper
And I just want to be happy
Oct 17. 2017
Taylor Kennerly Sep 2017
You know it's crazy
How in one months time everything can change
I look back on all the tears I wasted
The nights I cried for you
And to you
And you could not be moved
The nights that were the darkest
Where it took all I had not to crawl out of my skin
And I wonder how could I
Have placed so much into another imperfect human being
But now
My eyes have cleared
And I no longer keep my head above water
I float. And I marvel in it.
Because now I realize
That you are not my universe
Just like loving him was not in my nature
And those before him were not gods
I am the master of what is
And God is the master of what will be
And knowing this
Has changed my life
Sept 24. 2017
Taylor Kennerly Sep 2017
Bitter fruits
And upset stomachs
It's time for a new harvest
Sept 8. 2017
Taylor Kennerly Sep 2017
Little brown girl
With eyes filled with pain
Didn't I teach you
Not to give love in vain
Haven't you learned
All life's lessons to give
To not cling to the past
But to let go and live?

Little brown girl
With eyes filled with guilt
Won't you break down these walls
Around you that you've built
You let anyone in
Then push everyone out
How can you live life
When you hoard all this doubt

Little brown girl
With eyes filled with sorrow
Don't you remember I told you
New life dawns with tomorrow
That your beauty is radiant
And your hearts made of gold
Just keep on pushing forward
And keep Gods hand to hold.
Sept 8. 2017
Taylor Kennerly Sep 2017
Theres a guilt that you feel
When everything is going right
But you can't stop thinking about the one thing that went wrong
There's a guilt that you feel
When you spend an entire day content
But still find time at night
For one sad song
One lonely memory
Theres a guilt that you feel
When you've gained everything you need
And still long for everything you want
You remember the hurt
And the strain
But you can't help it
There's a guilt that you feel
When you can wake up with a smile
And can only think about how bright it
used to be
Even if it came after a night of crying
There's a guilt that you feel
When the sun is shining on your skin
And the wind is blowing through your window
And all you can think about
Is how happy they must be
without you
There's a guilt that you feel
For wanting the one thing that hurts you the most
When you know deep down
All you want is to be free.
Sept 6. 2017
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