Stars: Favorites

Feb 2018 Stars

Shy?

Feb 2018 Stars

CAM

Shy?

God. How am I still not okay?

God. It's been so long.

God. I'm so tired of life right now.

God. What happened to me?

I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.

I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.

I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.

And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.

Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.

No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.

No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.

But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.

You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.

And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.

I'm not perfect. But I'm not shy anymore either.

Dec 2017 Stars

Friend Zoned

Dec 2017 Stars

CAM

Friend Zoned

She's really cute.
You talk about her the way I talk about you.
And you know it.
Can you tell that I've guessed?

I haven't decided to ask you much about her yet.
I think I know what you might answer.
Your face lights up when you talk to her.
Which happens all the time, I fear.

I still have yet to decide.
Would I rather see you happy?
Or see you be mine?
And then I remember you're still my friend first.

Yesterday to my friend, I said
You really just liked me as a friend.
I couldn't be more glad
Did you expect me to be overly sad?

You're an amazing person,
So sweet and kind
I really suppose I'm learning
You're the kind of person I need to find.

So I suppose I'm in the friend zone.
But it's not the worst way to go.
At least we're still friends.
And I hope that doesn't end.

In the end my respect for you,
Wins above it all
You're my friend and I appreciate you,
Through everything all and all.

Ah, this felt really good to write.

Dec 2017 Stars

Barely Here

Dec 2017 Stars

CAM

Barely Here

I barely feel happy anymore.
I just don’t feel it.
I don’t know why,
but it’s been going on for a while.
Most of the time, I don’t feel sad,
but I just don’t get happy all the time.

I’m mostly sad, my happy moods are too easily disrupted,
and they come not often enough at all.
I feel like I’ve changed too much from who I used to be, I can’t tell
If it’s because of my friends, my family, all the stupid heartbreaks,
Stress, or whatever. I can’t tell anymore.

It’s just all a part of my life.
It’s super frustrating because I don’t know what to get rid of
To have my life be happier because I don’t know yet
What will break me? I don’t know.

People keep having these problems all around me
And they say I’m the happy one
And I have all the joy,
And if I only knew how they felt….no.

I do. I know how you feel when you have depression and anxiety
I was raised in a divorced family with not one,
But two verbally abusive dads.
One mom who’s always away from home,
Working an hour away from right here.
One dad who doesn’t care.
One who cares too much sometimes and none the next day.
No parents who support my hobbies and what makes me happy.
No parents who are proud of me for my grades.

Three friends who help me when I’m in trouble,
And listen when I’m sad.
Three. TWO.

Two friends who are there when I need them.
Two friends who I send monologues and paragraphs.
Two people I trust.
Two. ONE.

One person,
I trust to not leave me,
To not break me,
To support me,
To not call me annoying,
To tell me the truth,
To tell me I’m doing great and I can do this.
One person who knows how my mind works.
One person, I trust with my mind,
My life,
My soul.
Three. Two. ONE.

They aren't here right now.
They're gone into the void where I can't see them.
Not clearly.
All I have are pictures,
Pictures of who my best friend is.
Pictures of who they were when I last saw them.
Pictures of the friend I love more than I love myself.
And the friend I miss most in the world.
But I wonder if they have any pictures of me.

Dec 2017 Stars

Dear Somebody/Nobody

Dec 2017 Stars

CAM

Dear Somebody/Nobody

Somebody,
If you ever read this,
I miss you.
Every day.
All the time.
With no end in sight.
I miss you almost more than I can say,
almost more than I'll admit.
You're my best friend,
my soul,
my heart.
You're the reason I'm going strong.
You're who I think of,
with nothing to do,
and also who I think of,
in my day through and through.
I miss you more than the sun misses the moon,
only seeing you once in fleets of stars.

Dear Nobody,
I still wish you were here.
You're the reason I'm now living.
You're the voice in my head saying no.
Saying,
That idea's stupid.
Do it.
You're my deep down best friend.
You know me better than anyone.
You're the person these paragraphs are for.
All the time.
All the poems I write.
You're somewhere in my mind.
Still inspiring me.
To push the limits and
DO IT.
Push yourself.
And your own limits.
As well as the world.

This is almost poetic, I suppose.
Maybe I should stop that......or not.
One of you may be my somebody-nobody.
My person.
I guess you both are.
Opposites but the same
In my heart.
The ones who just...CLICK.

Maybe we'll never be romantic,
and I think that's fine.
But that doesn't mean I won't miss you.
Until we meet again,
long lost friends.
I'll be here.

Idk why I wrote this, but Somebody/nobody did not come from my mind, it's from a book, I just have a bit of a twist.

Dec 2017 Stars

Some Ten-One Stories

Dec 2017 Stars

CAM

Some Ten-One Stories

I walked through the trees, expecting something new, different, real.
Instead, I found something I needed, something old, real.
I found something I loved, strove for, needed.
Something I can’t live without, feel without.
With my heart in a grasp.
It’s almost like a river.
Flowing down a cliff.
It’s just you.
With flowers.
Love.

She looked up expecting to see you standing with flowers.
Instead, she saw your brother, with a normal note.
It said something about not making the date.
Something about her not being the cause.
Then it broke off, no explanation.
It wasn’t something she expected.
She hadn’t guessed it.
You walked in.
Marry me?
Yes.

You don't have to read these, they're just so I have somewhere to put them for now. I'm experimenting don't judge me.

Dec 2017 Stars

This is harsh love

Dec 2017 Stars

Madison

This is harsh love

Today you told me you moved on
You found someone new

Someone prettier
Someone smarter
Someone who makes you more happier than I ever could

It’s crazy to think you found that person
Because I thought I was her
I gave you countless times to realize I was the one

The one who would put up with everything you put me through
The one who stuck by your side no matter what
The one who always defended you no matter the ****** situation
The one who would never leave no matter how many times you broke me down

Little did I know
You’d be the one to leave
The one to have had enough of this so called love

And it’s crazy because no one saw it coming
And I guess I should’ve listened to Bianca when she said to leave before they realize you are not worth staying for

you are a speckle of dust and i am a star and i will never think of using my radiance to make you glow ever again

#heartbreak

Oct 2017 Stars

craving

Oct 2017 Stars

Callie Richter

craving

i'm lying here
in my bed
trying to forget you
but i'm finding
that it's impossible
when the only thing
i know how to do
is crave you