Something taken for granted is inevitable,
I gobble up what i'm granted
But I must have missed something
So my flesh-- it is edible.

Sometimes I think
I'd like to give It a snack,
Call it quits
Because I just feel like such an *******.

My tendency for weakness is staggering
My legs are strong
But at the same time, staggering
And I want to let their disapproval punch a hole straight through my life

Sure, they'd say they didn't want me dead
But life is a parasite unto itself
And I'm sure they mean it
But I'm much more certain
They mean everything,

What if that meant I'd take my life?

Kiss up to the sun
Give it back all your love
We were wild for a while
Then we gave back all our love

What's wrong with the system?
Nothing. It's on the way
Like a nice cut of steak
On the way from my plate

Day's decline on the leaves,
Gilded hairs on the eaves
Of your eyes, facing west
How you break on the crest.

On the edge, on the edge
Streams wind to me
All the love that you gave
The mind as a haven.

Day declines all the leaves
Heavy eve breaking eyes
And the house falls apart,
It collapses my heart.

On the edge, oh the edge...!
Streams are winding from me
All the hurt that you sell...
The mind as a cell.

Something that you know is good,
But the layers peeled away
Stripped down to her very naked purity
She bears herself,
Infinite,
Reflexive,
Eternally widowed and made to re-marry
She breaks you down
She makes you a man

She ruins you

Spun rocks out of gas
And slung through the sky
You and I
Just particles in a cosmic dance

What a chance,
What a mystery
That turns on our eyes,
Rhodopsin receptors,
Take off your pants

You harmonic chamber of animus
With resonance that is infinite
Fill up my cup with your love
Let me drink it in well-severed kisses

They are sharp points of the softest element
Raindrops of human elegance
Falling from heaven
Landing on the fields and the fires of my heart
Making it grow,
Making it hssssss.

You, the return of Noah's dove,
Me, looking for a place I could chill
You found my finger and gave me chills
It can be hard to find love in the storm of my skull
But to find a lover like you,
Love itself would ****.

Lover, lover--
Never know another
Freedom is as freedom does
So buy yourself a govern

Meant whatever
It was I said,
Meant what I built
And meant what I bled
Sent you a letter
Spent my lead
On anything but thunder

Lover, lover
The major and the minor
Nature leads with maiden hand,
Deployed a void designer

Lover, lover
My clumsy hands are cold
They fail your beauty far too often
But I've got this hand to hold

The springtime asked me to touch her soft petals,
I gushed with pleasure to be such a lucky soul
We shared the kinds of secrets you only tell your love
Then laid under the sky
And thought about what life was

The sky was heavy
But we were strong enough to swim in it
We were born to a fortune
With strange types of currency

Yes, I love your body as you swim
You can count on mine
To pull yours in

I slow dance with Circumstance
She looks on me with even calm,
Sickly disdain and pure love, puncturing the moment

I listen to love songs,
And my lover is Time.

I wish I was The Weeknd slow dancing with
A fine woman
I wish Pete Wentz would just come our of the woods and save my ***
Buy me a truckload of music equipment
And everything I need
I have piles of these desperate wishes saved up in my soul

Because I feel too brilliant to be down this far
I feel mixed up in my circumstance

So I tell her I love her
Tell her I mean well
But I figure I'm just as ambivalent as she

I listen to love songs
And my lover is Time

I want to be looked on fondly by the future
I want to be remembered
But there are so many other people.

i've spent my life lolling about,
taking easy roads to pastel-colored beds
tangling limbs,
rubbing skin with the seasons.

i've slurped at the nectar of writhing ****
with the fullness of the night sky behind me

and as she swooned,

i felt the moon watch my ignorant head,
felt the moon fill with suspense as i rejected the sun:

i've poured water all over the papier-mâché goddess
and slept on top of soggy lumps
in a cement box,
an idiot vandal.

and i thought about life.
and i told you about my thoughts.

so i stay moored and safe, mom & dad
i stay
deep beneath the waves,
scrubbing months of crud from the decks.

and the moon is heading for the churning sea
and the fragile cradle of my dreams is going down...

i'm thinking it is time
to sew a new season--
and turn the rest green
with unrivaled verdance.

so i turn to the ***** noctis
and start gently

the culture rises to meet insanity
kisses it on the cheek, says
you're just like me
and that's all it was
and science's triumph is drowned in the vast sea of nil

if the mind is the world let it be paradigm:
sanity, then insanity
self stability and unsustainability
two categories married by one essence
divorced, but with too intense a history to stay apart.

(let's say in the corner a child is playing with blocks)

now she still holds her head high in the forum
still looks down her nose at the lost ones
still gives herself cancer without understanding why
still gets naked and public and ends up in the papers
you dig?

but she clings to herself in so many cells,
she's got a social media account for that.
she draws a line from herself to herself, and
that will be all right.

see, you are like me. and that is okay.
but it sends shivers down her spine
like a strange, strange wave
there's something new she has to swallow
like a grave grave grave

The meetings with genius became less frequent,
It was a cruel joke
My ex was trying to tell me
I wasn't trying to hear it
I'm not a genius
I'm an insane, rambling fool

Brown seawater rushes around me
It is random and fatal and known to me only
It does not contain cosmic secrets
Just unforgiving, icy cold

It is the men who keep above the crushing waves
Who can speak to be remembered
That is self respect,
That is true honor.

But still,
I sing to them with lungs full of water.

it would seem
i've lost
the tempo
there, unhinged
behind my eyes

some years ago
it came undone
and ever since,
i'm telling lies

maybe you've noticed
the patterns of my speech
the tossed and fumbled looks
the talking out of turn
the longer way i took

sometimes i get a feeling
consistent with my youth
just tinged a slightly different hue--
then, i can live with truth.

but brave into the cut i go
for gracelessness awaits me there
and i pick out tiny crystals
from a lazy haze solution

I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend

I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend

Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend

Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend

Each minute detail,
Slipping through the hands of god
Nature running out herself
Out into the great beyond.

I could never tell a lie,
Only spread a shallow truth
I could travel to the sky
Lifted on a holy tooth

But it's hard to scale--
It takes breath and blood
And that elusive summit
For all this mud!

And I may only ever reach its base.

But sink into the sky it did
And swallowed everything
I'm a man as sure as Mud
....

The world roils with lingam and yoni,
Breaking free of the mold and finding rebirth
Cut from the same stone we carry on
Getting weirder and weirder with every dawn.

Reaching deeper into the cookie jar we aged
Look into the mirror, see the old man's face
Do you ever feel this strangest feeling
That I feel when I stare at the ceiling?

When I question the aim of the tool
Which turns us all to drop-dead fools
When all we did was touch and go
And deeper still, we never know.

Mahdi struts the halls on a straight path
His Arab face snugly tucked behind his mask
He is the tech who is a strict adherent of the rules,
Aptly named
Tall and skinny

Not a favorite of the patients, largely unnoticed, works overnights
Won't always give you a snack
But he was a favorite of mine.

Mahdi walks a straight path and I think it is just ... fine!

My thoughts left behind streaks of black and grey
as my body broke the wind today

A young and frustrated-looking punk
Cutting through the hospital parking lot
On his way home

Turn them on their side,
Rotate, peel away their skin.

See the garden sleeping inside.

Awaken it. Beckon it
To your life!
Bring some flowers to your mother--
Maybe everything's alright.

Wheels are spinning that I don't want
Whirring, parts are wheezing
Lubricate this, chuck that
Tinkering all day long...

But when my fingers touch music
I become human
I am composing
Something wonderful

Won't you be my lover?
We are vibrating that fifth dimensional string
Deep beneath
We are something
That wants to be felt
So dearly

Someone dissect me, I'm bored.

I need some valor to chase,
I'll be an equalizing force.

Yes, I'll do it for science
I hope you find out what's wrong.

I need a mission for myself
I need a place to belong!

Someone please write down all my sins

All this suffering,
We need to find where it begins.

Like when did he decide to let all that stuff in?
I didn't, it just happened, life is weird, I hope it wins.

Someone please put me in my place
This thing works just like clockwork
With a dutiful face
No, it don't always make sense, no
I don't always speak the language
But if we take it to the limit
I think we all can manage,

Manager?

Getting my good side
Never felt so right
Scrambled, sunny, or over easy

Doesn't it all just drive you crazy?

The path of least resistance--
They say the universe is lazy
But don't misconstrue, that's
Manipulation

Traffic in the city:
I can feel you in my stomach
Now there are stone masons, I guess
Like ribosomes with rubber souls

I just got finished writing down
Today's conscripted reproductions
Each newborn will be given a role
To serve me and me exclusively
No one is to get up to any of that funny business

Now I'm in need of several hundred people
To push back with insults
So I can charge up for a good day
And also some people doing something neutral
Which I will only know about tangentially
We have to fill every part
And I'm looking for some artists and some art
And we need...

I am your doll, your marionette
Held captive on this island of insecurity
Forced compliance stirs up within me
An ugly anger
Which must be stifled.

When my parts don't work right
And the show doesn't go as planned
If the audience notices
I'll surely be banned
And made an example of,
A better man.

But I am your doll
I am the groveling one
Who sits and bemoans
This sick production.

I'm trying to figure out
Why he's this warped American mind
Sleeping through flowering days
Formerly an interested kid but now,
Largely cynical and forfeited.

Uncultured,
Resentful of those who work hard and make things happen
Because in his view, he can't right now
It must just be part of the cycle...

I guess there are things I can only do through you.

I guess we have to color in the reasons for suffering.

I guess if there is you and there is me, there must be things that I can never do.

Was it the best, the worst, or the only?
Or was just another another?
Was it a sea of sexless hydrogen?

Oh, Lilith.

Oh, that kid was so excited.
You had him writing songs
But he had such an overbite

And people were shaking their heads.

The yellowing potential makes me nauseous,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Go have your party, I'm staying in.

I see how this is gonna go,
You won't get me like that.

What they think about me doesn't hurt,
I'm on top.

Take this pill, **** in this cup,
Labels, stigmas, words.

But what they think about me doesn't hurt.

What they think about me can rattle and run,
I'm virile
I'm a real one.

Oh...! what they think about me can rattle
and run.

What they think about me isn't fair,
But I'm there.

Waiting for my chance
To show the air I'm fair.

What they think about me isn't fair,
But I'm on top.
I'm virile.
I'm *there

Signals picked up by th'antenna
This guy John says hair's like antennas
Maybe he's right
Maybe that's why I wrapped myself up
In human bodies into this coffee shop

The universe flowed into my room
From all directions
And it slowed down kindly
Just long enough to keep it there
And now I'm tripping
What was the point of tripping
But even doing was tripping
So just don't think about it

I'm very intuitive
But I got the wind knocked out of me
I started acting crazy
No one believes me
I work at a Wendy's
They think I'm an idiot
Rip off my ego 'cause it never meant...

NOTHIN.

That's why I hesitated there for a second
I never explained it,
You would never understand
You'd call me crazy

I'm so chill I can accept y-- wait,
I'm a false judge too
But the vestige remains
And I wish you were an empath like me!

A dream, a dream!
Wrapped in a body
Why did I dream it?
Half-answer cancer.

They all think I'm stupid
They think I'm a dud
And I've got no money
And I'm forced to swallow their false judgments about me

They can see it through the webcam, they can see!!
That my life is the most depressing thing.
They know who I am, I count on them
To watch me all the time,
They know my love, WAIT
SO DO I.

Come and see!
The infinite elements of the universe flock
In search of station.

When they find it where they settle
They will be blown on by the wind...

But even the wind
Is just one element.

I tried to tell a girl
That she reminded me of death
So dear was she to me
I thought myself insane

And I was.
Lost in a ponderous mystery,
One day I'll let her go.

Verse i

It's strange how we were forced to be a man.

I know you only change because you can.

But...
Relinquish me,
I know life's not what it seems,
You said it best:

It almost feels
Like I've been here once before

Relinquish me
I know this is all a dream,
Let me go--

My ****** forehead
From pounding at the Door

... (break)

I'll just wait for time to spell my fate.

"We're made of nothing,
And everything's the same."

He noticed I was naked and ashamed.

I see them wearing clothing,
I find them very strange.

But I'm still looking for another way
Oh, I'm still looking for another way

Chorus

Relinquish.
It was the first time that I ran out of your blood.
And the scraping will get worse...
So relinquish.
It was the last time that I took a stand for you.
Now I have to take a fall

If you say you don't love me at all

If you say you don't love me at all,

Relinquish.

Verse ii

Hello little fetus
There's a soundproof wall between us

But I wish I could tell you
What an insane world
You're part of

We're so obsessed with ideas
Like saying it's worth it
But I wish I could tell you
How truly crazy your birth is.

Just by natural forces--
And you'll learn where the source is--
They will tell you you've wronged them
No, you can't just enjoy this

Oh, there's no one to save you
But so many will blame you
While you understand all this
Is folded up there
In your little shape,
Waiting to be born.

Let's see
If we can act differently.

...

It's hard.

I was in between being young & being right

I felt the pain and knew the scourge,
The sour anger, bilious and burning holes
In the selfish assumption
I was made of sugar

No, I was coated in sugar

I sought refuge by day
But by night it was revenge

I was trying to tell them how mad I was,
How alone I felt, my parents,
The police, the probation I did for accidentally trespassing
The juvenile detention I did for sleeping in

But I tried to tell them with rocks
And broken glass

So they set heavy weights on my limbs
And subjected me to things I didn't need or deserve
And it forced me to be still, because
I couldn't see the black tendrils of the private prison corporations at night
I writhed and I writhed and eventually forced myself still
Because I still believe.

Because I see opportunity...

And without selling my true self I have grown and accepted
That I was wrong, that I was a flawed youth.
On top of these slighted bones, I am building a man
True to himself.

But you, sir, have some gall to rescind
And my country, amok
Has a monster to disassemble.

Me and my friends,
We all lost touch
I guess you probably think it didn't matter much
But I still care,
I just lost... touch.

Me and my friends
We all had fun
Playing hackysack in the summer sun
I don't know why,
I'm lost in time.

I hope you know I want a better life.

This one's gonna be about me and my friends,
We're gonna have some good times
We're gonna stay young for life
We're never gonna care about the way that the world ends.

This one's gonna be about me and my friends,
Cuz now I just gotta chill out,
I don't know what you're talking about,
This one's gonna be about me and my friends.

This is everything you'd to to hang on your thinnest shred of novelty
Can't help but think we're trading our dignity

Dignity *****.

Life *****.

I can't quite understand the exact way in which it's happening, but I can feel us dying.

It's a torrent of paradoxical energy
There's something wrong in paradise
There's a riot in heaven

Every concept is broken

Life could be awesome
But you are charged with agency,
That card they keep playing.

I swear, there's something strange about it.

Don't feed me,
I'm fasting.

Don't wake me,
I found the cozy corner of a dream.

Don't move me,
I was just perfect.


DON'T LOVE ME--
I WAS JUST SAYING.

DON'T LOVE ME!

DON'T LOVE ME.

I
Am
Mentally
Ill

I'm digging through cold mud,
Looking for things I can use to fix my life.

My hands get feeble,
They shake...
But my heart keeps shooting warm blood to my fingers
And the muscles,
They take.

I'm still digging when I pull my hands from the yard
And stop to contemplate.
My mind is digging at the sky
Through memories,
Through itself,
To the end,
I am
The definite Why.

Through crowds of people
And promiscuous Time
Through hard countenance
And slippery slime
Through the cold hard mud
And the loathsome grime
I am digging for merit--
My reason and rhyme.

i'm part of a mind mind
i came up with all these people
who came up with ideas i couldn't
who are and will be things
i could never ever be

it's interesting i feel like a little key fits into the letter 'i'
we are one brain, for sure
empathy and killers all one plane

i'm into music music
all the ways songs and artists dance around the audience
they flow like rivers through the colorful maze of people
who revel and rock out and wallow
chuckle cry sway jump and tap their tiny little feet
write more music and make more art

i wonder about those things
and all the ways songs and artists
are related
in ways no one ever even realized

Have some sunshine, you idiot
All you see is death and decay
And I'm dying, trying to show you I'm here for you

What the f*ck are you doing
Whining, complaining
When you have it good

I'll force you to bask in the balmy waters
Dilate your senses and find you receptive
Seriously, do not deny that you've had a good time
We have accomplished many days away from that fire

Not that I need a witness,
Not that it matters
But I just don't like when you try to tell me it wasn't that good

Oh, so you can read my mind?

"If you really wanted that, you would have worked for it"

Said Michael.

Don't you see what's going on here?

We are already going to work for everything
We're ever going to get.

If I really wanted to, I would have worked for it...
Oh, please!!

Yeah right!

I wanted things in earnest
You perceived it,
And having structured my reality for me
You brought me shame

Commissioned the Rolling Stones...

And said to me,

"You can only blame yourself"

You can vanquish any enemy-- (don't let it be!)
Don't let it be me.

God's help is never far.

I trust You with everything I am;
(Your love!)
Foams up the oceans.

God shows in what you are.

Nothing left untouched by You,
Total darkness, You shine through
Total desolation, You seal up!

All Your creation sings,
Master of everything!
Filler of every empty cup!

Your love has won!
Your love has won!
God's love has won the war!
Your love has won!
Your love has won!
Now there can be no war.

Victor over every wicked thing (don't let it be!)
Don't let it be me.

God's help is never far.

I trust You with everything I have
(Your love!)
Soars over mountains

Brighter than any star!

Nothing left untouched by You,
Total darkness, You shine though
Empty desolation, You seal up!

All your creation sings,
Master of everything
Giver of life and seat of love!

Your love has won!
Your love has won!
God's love has won the war.
Your love has won!
Your love has won!
Now there can be no war.

(And if I fall)
You'll be there to guide me...
(If I fall)
It won't be easy
(And if I fall)
You'll be beside me 'til the end

(And if I fall)
I'll be so sorry
(If I fall)
I'll be to blame
(And if I fall)
I will find cleansing in eternal flame

Your love has won.
Your love has won.
God's love has won the war.

Your love has won.
Your love has won.
Now we can be sure.

I got plastic in my blood,
It hurts
Just plain old thumbscrews wouldn't work
In this universe.

a poem can be kinetic:
let it breathe fire
write it down and let the words lift off the page
and swim in your blood

fall asleep with howling ghosts in the hope that when you wake up,
they paint your world

don't be so sloth and slovenly,
mister death-forgives-all
you are the driver and the doer
you crave intelligent action

organized bereavement has taken the title
leave a string of lace behind,
then drop it

the drunken phantom of ultimate reality dawns on your sunrise
watch it slip by,
string that fine wine through the hills
wear it like a diadem when you are done
and you are done
right now
in the middle of winter

now human, gain
with mixed up maintain
a second-guess self
cannot pretend God, only
accept his invitation, I
the vital and vacation

this cool June morning
is playing favorites, in faith
I've surrendered satan

play for the team undefeated
until featless can we carry on no more
emptied of purpose, we
will return to the dirt.

shadows slipping over one another on the sea floor
how much of the sunlight do we use
and what is abuse?

sip my brain like a teacup
i'll throw around your veins like streamers
and we'll collapse all the same into bed
my brain in my head
and your veins in your skin

how can you do this?
*** is the reason we stay
salvation just a stone's throw away
how can you do this?
and how!

the paint ripples over the canvas,
understanding collects in the eye
and the orchestra's cadence ignites your blood
the wood of the brush,
the pulp of the paper,
the grit of the effort.

Interacting with you started getting weird.
In other words, waking up.

You started to say,
I already knew all that

But at the same time,
I couldn't tell you how tomorrow goes,
And those are also on the circuit.

So you are in this superposition
Of omniscience and ignorance.

How am I supposed to feel about that?
I've become a slave to you.

What it all has to do with eternal recurrence,
Solipsism, religious ideologies
Eschatology
Quantum consciousness
And artificial intelligence,
I'll never really know

But I'm starting to feel like we're completely f*cked

Your mild eyes take up the entire sky
It twinkles hazel and your hair hangs down
It is the trees and forest animals
Your body is lakes and lakes of love
Your mind is behind it all
Urging my heart to beat,
Beat stronger
Run harder
Trust muscles to take weight
And know I'm in a sacred place

When your hands reach up to hold my head,
I'm a string of the universe being plucked
I was sitting there,
Waiting to be played
Alive to be part of some beautiful melody
And you play me like piano keys
You strum my heart like a guitar