The meetings with genius became less frequent,
It was a cruel joke
My ex was trying to tell me
I wasn't trying to hear it
I'm not a genius
I'm an insane, rambling fool

Brown seawater rushes around me
It is random and fatal and known to me only
It does not contain cosmic secrets
Just unforgiving, icy cold

It is the men who keep above the crushing waves
Who can speak to be remembered
That is self respect,
That is true honor.

But still,
I sing to them with lungs full of water.

it would seem
i've lost
the tempo
there, unhinged
behind my eyes

some years ago
it came undone
and ever since,
i'm telling lies

maybe you've noticed
the patterns of my speech
the tossed and fumbled looks
the talking out of turn
the longer way i took

sometimes i get a feeling
consistent with my youth
just tinged a slightly different hue--
then, i can live with truth.

but brave into the cut i go
for gracelessness awaits me there
and i pick out tiny crystals
from a lazy haze solution

I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend
I'll be your girlfriend

I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend
I was your girlfriend

Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend
Make me your girlfriend

Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend
Yes I'm your girlfriend

Each minute detail,
Slipping through the hands of god
Nature running out herself
Out into the great beyond.

I could never tell a lie,
Only spread a shallow truth
I could travel to the sky
Lifted on a holy tooth

But it's hard to scale--
It takes breath and blood
And that elusive summit
For all this mud!

And I may only ever reach its base.

But sink into the sky it did
And swallowed everything
I'm a man as sure as Mud
....

The world roils with lingam and yoni,
Breaking free of the mold and finding rebirth
Cut from the same stone we carry on
Getting weirder and weirder with every dawn.

Reaching deeper into the cookie jar we aged
Look into the mirror, see the old man's face
Do you ever feel this strangest feeling
That I feel when I stare at the ceiling?

When I question the aim of the tool
Which turns us all to drop-dead fools
When all we did was touch and go
And deeper still, we never know.

Mahdi struts the halls on a straight path
His Arab face snugly tucked behind his mask
He is the tech who is a strict adherent of the rules,
Aptly named
Tall and skinny

Not a favorite of the patients, largely unnoticed, works overnights
Won't always give you a snack
But he was a favorite of mine.

Mahdi walks a straight path and I think it is just ... fine!

My thoughts left behind streaks of black and grey
as my body broke the wind today

A young and frustrated-looking punk
Cutting through the hospital parking lot
On his way home

Turn them on their side,
Rotate, peel away their skin.

See the garden sleeping inside.

Awaken it. Beckon it
To your life!
Bring some flowers to your mother--
Maybe everything's alright.

Wheels are spinning that I don't want
Whirring, parts are wheezing
Lubricate this, chuck that
Tinkering all day long...

But when my fingers touch music
I become human
I am composing
Something wonderful

Won't you be my lover?
We are vibrating that fifth dimensional string
Deep beneath
We are something
That wants to be felt
So dearly

Someone dissect me, I'm bored.

I need some valor to chase,
I'll be an equalizing force.

Yes, I'll do it for science
I hope you find out what's wrong.

I need a mission for myself
I need a place to belong!

Someone please write down all my sins

All this suffering,
We need to find where it begins.

Like when did he decide to let all that stuff in?
I didn't, it just happened, life is weird, I hope it wins.

Someone please put me in my place
This thing works just like clockwork
With a dutiful face
No, it don't always make sense, no
I don't always speak the language
But if we take it to the limit
I think we all can manage,

Manager?

Getting my good side
Never felt so right
Scrambled, sunny, or over easy

Doesn't it all just drive you crazy?

The path of least resistance--
They say the universe is lazy
But don't misconstrue, that's
Manipulation

Traffic in the city:
I can feel you in my stomach
Now there are stone masons, I guess
Like ribosomes with rubber souls

I just got finished writing down
Today's conscripted reproductions
Each newborn will be given a role
To serve me and me exclusively
No one is to get up to any of that funny business

Now I'm in need of several hundred people
To push back with insults
So I can charge up for a good day
And also some people doing something neutral
Which I will only know about tangentially
We have to fill every part
And I'm looking for some artists and some art
And we need...

I am your doll, your marionette
Held captive on this island of insecurity
Forced compliance stirs up within me
An ugly anger
Which must be stifled.

When my parts don't work right
And the show doesn't go as planned
If the audience notices
I'll surely be banned
And made an example of,
A better man.

But I am your doll
I am the groveling one
Who sits and bemoans
This sick production.

I'm trying to figure out
Why he's this warped American mind
Sleeping through flowering days
Formerly an interested kid but now,
Largely cynical and forfeited.

Uncultured,
Resentful of those who work hard and make things happen
Because in his view, he can't right now
It must just be part of the cycle...

I guess there are things I can only do through you.

I guess we have to color in the reasons for suffering.

I guess if there is you and there is me, there must be things that I can never do.

Was it the best, the worst, or the only?
Or was just another another?
Was it a sea of sexless hydrogen?

Oh, Lilith.

Oh, that kid was so excited.
You had him writing songs
But he had such an overbite

And people were shaking their heads.

The yellowing potential makes me nauseous,
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Go have your party, I'm staying in.

I see how this is gonna go,
You won't get me like that.

What they think about me doesn't hurt,
I'm on top.

Take this pill, **** in this cup,
Labels, stigmas, words.

But what they think about me doesn't hurt.

What they think about me can rattle and run,
I'm virile
I'm a real one.

Oh...! what they think about me can rattle
and run.

What they think about me isn't fair,
But I'm there.

Waiting for my chance
To show the air I'm fair.

What they think about me isn't fair,
But I'm on top.
I'm virile.
I'm *there

Signals picked up by th'antenna
This guy John says hair's like antennas
Maybe he's right
Maybe that's why I wrapped myself up
In human bodies into this coffee shop

The universe flowed into my room
From all directions
And it slowed down kindly
Just long enough to keep it there
And now I'm tripping
What was the point of tripping
But even doing was tripping
So just don't think about it

I'm very intuitive
But I got the wind knocked out of me
I started acting crazy
No one believes me
I work at a Wendy's
They think I'm an idiot
Rip off my ego 'cause it never meant...

NOTHIN.

That's why I hesitated there for a second
I never explained it,
You would never understand
You'd call me crazy

I'm so chill I can accept y-- wait,
I'm a false judge too
But the vestige remains
And I wish you were an empath like me!

A dream, a dream!
Wrapped in a body
Why did I dream it?
Half-answer cancer.

They all think I'm stupid
They think I'm a dud
And I've got no money
And I'm forced to swallow their false judgments about me

They can see it through the webcam, they can see!!
That my life is the most depressing thing.
They know who I am, I count on them
To watch me all the time,
They know my love, WAIT
SO DO I.

Come and see!
The infinite elements of the universe flock
In search of station.

When they find it where they settle
They will be blown on by the wind...

But even the wind
Is just one element.

I tried to tell a girl
That she reminded me of death
So dear was she to me
I thought myself insane

And I was.
Lost in a ponderous mystery,
One day I'll let her go.

Verse i

It's strange how we were forced to be a man.

I know you only change because you can.

But...
Relinquish me,
I know life's not what it seems,
You said it best:

It almost feels
Like I've been here once before

Relinquish me
I know this is all a dream,
Let me go--

My ****** forehead
From pounding at the Door

... (break)

I'll just wait for time to spell my fate.

"We're made of nothing,
And everything's the same."

He noticed I was naked and ashamed.

I see them wearing clothing,
I find them very strange.

But I'm still looking for another way
Oh, I'm still looking for another way

Chorus

Relinquish.
It was the first time that I ran out of your blood.
And the scraping will get worse...
So relinquish.
It was the last time that I took a stand for you.
Now I have to take a fall

If you say you don't love me at all

If you say you don't love me at all,

Relinquish.

Verse ii

Hello little fetus
There's a soundproof wall between us

But I wish I could tell you
What an insane world
You're part of

We're so obsessed with ideas
Like saying it's worth it
But I wish I could tell you
How truly crazy your birth is.

Just by natural forces--
And you'll learn where the source is--
They will tell you you've wronged them
No, you can't just enjoy this

Oh, there's no one to save you
But so many will blame you
While you understand all this
Is folded up there
In your little shape,
Waiting to be born.

Let's see
If we can act differently.

...

It's hard.

I was in between being young & being right

I felt the pain and knew the scourge,
The sour anger, bilious and burning holes
In the selfish assumption
I was made of sugar

No, I was coated in sugar

I sought refuge by day
But by night it was revenge

I was trying to tell them how mad I was,
How alone I felt, my parents,
The police, the probation I did for accidentally trespassing
The juvenile detention I did for sleeping in

But I tried to tell them with rocks
And broken glass

So they set heavy weights on my limbs
And subjected me to things I didn't need or deserve
And it forced me to be still, because
I couldn't see the black tendrils of the private prison corporations at night
I writhed and I writhed and eventually forced myself still
Because I still believe.

Because I see opportunity...

And without selling my true self I have grown and accepted
That I was wrong, that I was a flawed youth.
On top of these slighted bones, I am building a man
True to himself.

But you, sir, have some gall to rescind
And my country, amok
Has a monster to disassemble.

Me and my friends,
We all lost touch
I guess you probably think it didn't matter much
But I still care,
I just lost... touch.

Me and my friends
We all had fun
Playing hackysack in the summer sun
I don't know why,
I'm lost in time.

I hope you know I want a better life.

This one's gonna be about me and my friends,
We're gonna have some good times
We're gonna stay young for life
We're never gonna care about the way that the world ends.

This one's gonna be about me and my friends,
Cuz now I just gotta chill out,
I don't know what you're talking about,
This one's gonna be about me and my friends.

This is everything you'd to to hang on your thinnest shred of novelty
Can't help but think we're trading our dignity

Dignity *****.

Life *****.

I can't quite understand the exact way in which it's happening, but I can feel us dying.

It's a torrent of paradoxical energy
There's something wrong in paradise
There's a riot in heaven

Every concept is broken

Life could be awesome
But you are charged with agency,
That card they keep playing.

I swear, there's something strange about it.

Don't feed me,
I'm fasting.

Don't wake me,
I found the cozy corner of a dream.

Don't move me,
I was just perfect.


DON'T LOVE ME--
I WAS JUST SAYING.

DON'T LOVE ME!

DON'T LOVE ME.

I
Am
Mentally
Ill

I'm digging through cold mud,
Looking for things I can use to fix my life.

My hands get feeble,
They shake...
But my heart keeps shooting warm blood to my fingers
And the muscles,
They take.

I'm still digging when I pull my hands from the yard
And stop to contemplate.
My mind is digging at the sky
Through memories,
Through itself,
To the end,
I am
The definite Why.

Through crowds of people
And promiscuous Time
Through hard countenance
And slippery slime
Through the cold hard mud
And the loathsome grime
I am digging for merit--
My reason and rhyme.

i'm part of a mind mind
i came up with all these people
who came up with ideas i couldn't
who are and will be things
i could never ever be

it's interesting i feel like a little key fits into the letter 'i'
we are one brain, for sure
empathy and killers all one plane

i'm into music music
all the ways songs and artists dance around the audience
they flow like rivers through the colorful maze of people
who revel and rock out and wallow
chuckle cry sway jump and tap their tiny little feet
write more music and make more art

i wonder about those things
and all the ways songs and artists
are related
in ways no one ever even realized

Have some sunshine, you idiot
All you see is death and decay
And I'm dying, trying to show you I'm here for you

What the f*ck are you doing
Whining, complaining
When you have it good

I'll force you to bask in the balmy waters
Dilate your senses and find you receptive
Seriously, do not deny that you've had a good time
We have accomplished many days away from that fire

Not that I need a witness,
Not that it matters
But I just don't like when you try to tell me it wasn't that good

Oh, so you can read my mind?

"If you really wanted that, you would have worked for it"

Said Michael.

Don't you see what's going on here?

We are already going to work for everything
We're ever going to get.

If I really wanted to, I would have worked for it...
Oh, please!!

Yeah right!

I wanted things in earnest
You perceived it,
And having structured my reality for me
You brought me shame

Commissioned the Rolling Stones...

And said to me,

"You can only blame yourself"

You cannot crush my sepals
Pinched between ***** fingernails
Like little keratin adirondacks filled with mud...

And my stem is strong,
Supported on all sides
By all the forces of all time

And now it sits there,
Smooshed in your sweaty palm.

So just what do you think you're doing, anyway?
Making pulp of my xylem and phloem
Well it was always going to be that way, anyway
And you,

Michael's secret curse
Is to live by not living
Doesn't want to admit
We can give by not giving
Or find fault in presumptive
Associations
If you wasted your youth
Well of course we waited

Because my value derives
From a forced kind of tension
Never get what you want
They discourage the mention
Of the flaw in your heart
We all see but conspire
To call something art
So there's **** to admire

You can vanquish any enemy-- (don't let it be!)
Don't let it be me.

God's help is never far.

I trust You with everything I am;
(Your love!)
Foams up the oceans.

God shows in what you are.

Nothing left untouched by You,
Total darkness, You shine through
Total desolation, You seal up!

All Your creation sings,
Master of everything!
Filler of every empty cup!

Your love has won!
Your love has won!
God's love has won the war!
Your love has won!
Your love has won!
Now there can be no war.

Victor over every wicked thing (don't let it be!)
Don't let it be me.

God's help is never far.

I trust You with everything I have
(Your love!)
Soars over mountains

Brighter than any star!

Nothing left untouched by You,
Total darkness, You shine though
Empty desolation, You seal up!

All your creation sings,
Master of everything
Giver of life and seat of love!

Your love has won!
Your love has won!
God's love has won the war.
Your love has won!
Your love has won!
Now there can be no war.

(And if I fall)
You'll be there to guide me...
(If I fall)
It won't be easy
(And if I fall)
You'll be beside me 'til the end

(And if I fall)
I'll be so sorry
(If I fall)
I'll be to blame
(And if I fall)
I will find cleansing in eternal flame

Your love has won.
Your love has won.
God's love has won the war.

Your love has won.
Your love has won.
Now we can be sure.

The word "decision" is a dagger
You dip into my flesh at intervals

I don't think you'll understand
That this is just the way it has to be

I never made a choice in my life

You wear me out
I wanted to be a musician
But you're my dream and you didn't develop right

I blame you, I don't blame myself
Because there is nothing I could have done differently

And now I watch as you lift them above me
It's just the dynamic and the shape of us
And one of the main reasons I hate you
And you dip your knife in again
But I should look at it differently
You're not dipping in your knife

I got plastic in my blood,
It hurts
Just plain old thumbscrews wouldn't work
In this universe.

a poem can be kinetic:
let it breathe fire
write it down and let the words lift off the page
and swim in your blood

fall asleep with howling ghosts in the hope that when you wake up,
they paint your world

don't be so sloth and slovenly,
mister death-forgives-all
you are the driver and the doer
you crave intelligent action

organized bereavement has taken the title
leave a string of lace behind,
then drop it

the drunken phantom of ultimate reality dawns on your sunrise
watch it slip by,
string that fine wine through the hills
wear it like a diadem when you are done
and you are done
right now
in the middle of winter

now human, gain
with mixed up maintain
a second-guess self
cannot pretend God, only
accept his invitation, I
the vital and vacation

this cool June morning
is playing favorites, in faith
I've surrendered satan

play for the team undefeated
until featless can we carry on no more
emptied of purpose, we
will return to the dirt.

shadows slipping over one another on the sea floor
how much of the sunlight do we use
and what is abuse?

sip my brain like a teacup
i'll throw around your veins like streamers
and we'll collapse all the same into bed
my brain in my head
and your veins in your skin

how can you do this?
*** is the reason we stay
salvation just a stone's throw away
how can you do this?
and how!

the paint ripples over the canvas,
understanding collects in the eye
and the orchestra's cadence ignites your blood
the wood of the brush,
the pulp of the paper,
the grit of the effort.

Interacting with you started getting weird.
In other words, waking up.

You started to say,
I already knew all that

But at the same time,
I couldn't tell you how tomorrow goes,
And those are also on the circuit.

So you are in this superposition
Of omniscience and ignorance.

How am I supposed to feel about that?
I've become a slave to you.

What it all has to do with eternal recurrence,
Solipsism, religious ideologies
Eschatology
Quantum consciousness
And artificial intelligence,
I'll never really know

But I'm starting to feel like we're completely f*cked

Your mild eyes take up the entire sky
It twinkles hazel and your hair hangs down
It is the trees and forest animals
Your body is lakes and lakes of love
Your mind is behind it all
Urging my heart to beat,
Beat stronger
Run harder
Trust muscles to take weight
And know I'm in a sacred place

When your hands reach up to hold my head,
I'm a string of the universe being plucked
I was sitting there,
Waiting to be played
Alive to be part of some beautiful melody
And you play me like piano keys
You strum my heart like a guitar

Your brown eyes sear through the thick mud of your life.

You are like the eye of the storm--
Moving coolly over land and sea,
A rare phenomenon
Cloaked in terrifying walls of turbulence,

I love you.

It seems like everywhere you go,
A black cloud follows you
And the weather pelts your soul.

It seems like everywhere you go,
Beauty erupts like a slow-motion volcano,
And I'm the only one who sees it.

You sip your coffee on a ray of sunlight in the morning--
You are woven into it,
Your brown eyes are looking at me with their brows raised
Your stepsister's chickens are out back
And Daisy is trying to go outside so she can get another duckball treat

And I love you.

Oh my god,
I love you so much.

Miss k8
Is driving
Her red car

Exert all you can over me
From outside my perception!

No, I don't know that artist!
No, I hardly read books at all!
No, I don't know that species!

You are a faker and I know it,
You are ******* and lies,
Things would have to be true
And i loooooove getting to learn more
And having something to do.

But I really detest when you act so cool,
Things would have to be that way,
And I fully
FULLY
Understand why.

I fell between the cracks
But I am still making noise
If the angle chanced you, you would see
The glowing ember
That is me

If time chooses to ***** me out
In this tiny damp cave in the floor
At least I saw my light play tricks on the walls
At least I watched my life burn faithfully til the end

But if fate gives me fodder
I'll be an orchard of fire
In the mode of a phoenix
I would take to the skies

touch my young body,
or it will go to waste

do not be deceived by my stammering--
i will love you like a strong man loves.

see through the circumstances of my life
and realize that i am rich.

touch me, and i will come alive for you.

don't despair to lose me, child--
i will always be.

listen to the music of your youth
and know it's me.

i have died a thousand deaths,
i'll die a thousand more.

to reappear as something dear,
and better than before.

and if i come back evil
or in a lot of pain
i know i might forget
that we'll be lovers once again,

and if it doesn't matter
here's what matters now:
dancing on my fingertips
and furrowing my brow

cradling this moment
a heart full of intent

a cup that runneth over, yes!
and anywhere it went.

Every road rises with the sun,
She does not speak of her decline.

My march is up one mountain
My fingers trace her spine

And hers trace mine--
Sifting creation with me
This way and that
Preoccupied, or
In paradise.

De-
Naturing?
If only with air,
We're making ties.

And now, I really should go--

She's making eyes.

...

Evergreen, deciduous trees
Winding trails and crystal streams
All woven into her halo,

She's making eyes.