i know the kiss of Unity
Under the skies of Paradise
love was the universal cry of my DNA

-

proud jewel skeleton of stardust
are we destiny, are we super
is this a consistency?

The tranquil sight of an easy river deceives the world--
That glassy water hides red medicine.

Cupping the water to my lips
It was sweet and savory,
Iron-rich and good to discover
Deepening the reach to every muscle

I saw the river nymph picking up sorrows and breaking them on her knee,
Her eyes looked sad or something but she was hella cute,
Building up a campfire to keep herself warm

How much longer can you be the secret of the wilderness?
We walked for miles through the trees
And she elaborated on red medicine, pouring nectar in my ears.

You hovered, still glowing when my skin hissed and spat black pus
You waited in the rain for my organs to warm up
Caressing my forehead
Like a faithful sentry

Take my stones and round them out,
I'll pitch my tent here on this riverbed
And we'll laugh along with the sunset,
Skipping them.

I might not have liked
The Beef stroganoff
But at least it was food

I might have vocalized
That I didn't enjoy
The flavor of nutrition
But I had energy to utter the words

Getting a little ahead of the game is up to you
But it's good to remember it
When you have three
Square
Meals

How blind was the man who thrashed his dreams?
How wrong was the law to lock him away?

How many rocks does it take
To break
An electric sign
At a train station?

How sad should we be that the dreams decayed
Locked in a cell for days and days
Now days pass by on nerves too numb
And guitars gather dust
Past the 25th year

And drinks will make these pale worms clear
As potential dies,
Each moment sears

i see my ugliness but i can't change it
i'm pulsing in the world's corner like a disgusting maggot
i revel in the gift of sunlight laid before me
i sicken myself but i feed and feed and feed

i drink tea, i make myself
cups of coffee
like i wish you well
and do things sweet and political

the truth is unavoidable
i am a crooked freak
some days symmetrical
but with wires fraying all the time
and tasting death on my tongue's poison tip

How many secrets do we walk past every day?
Sinched off pockets of life,
Their contents affect the cosmos
Like invisible knives.

With just a word or a couple flicks of the finger,
You can reorient the stars
And all the sailors in your tiny sea will start to sail by them...

Ah, but the stars were scattered anyway
And it's good to sail the sea
I never navigated anywhere
'Th no knife turned on my e'e

///

So if only for the thrill
I pull back the skin from my neck
And bear my jugular to the world
Only holding back decisively,
Always wanting to tell you
Everything.

I don't want to get another job
I dont want
To be part of the machine

I'll just walk out again

You pour springtime in the river each year
And then dose me with summer,
You live up on the ridge
And one day we'll meet and I'll trade in my fear

And there'll be new words for "ridge" and for "death"
I'm absolutely positive.

You float flowers downstream to my eyes
These things don't simply happen
They're fated and wise
And the winters are empty and dry

And I'm sure as my breath,
I'm absolutely positive.

And you love me with tangerine skies
And the seaside is marvelous, light blue and white
The clouds billow up with the tide
I'm absolutely positive.

And you wrote me a song for my death.
You said love isn't obvious, off with your head!
And you laughed as you pushed back my hair
And looked straight in my eyes.

I'm absolutely positive
You can't tell a lie

I'm so, so positive,
Why.

Splayed nerve and scattered spirit--
When the magnitude of beauty passes through unhad
And you walk through civilized wildernesses
And even confused food goes untasted in your mouth,
And you worry that it is only serving to fuel worry

Kid... All you gotta do is remember what you love
We all have it. It is solid, reliable
Beads of water condense on your natural soul,
Easy as a spiderweb in the morning.

You are magnificent.
You do not need to twist and turn to get there--
Would you take a moment to stop worrying so much
And return to the home that misses you so badly?

Bead, be my prison
Relinquish me.

I don't know if I like that poem
But I love those tapping thumbs...

You will never be my savior
But my ever gushing poet
Bleeds for me
On the scene
Where it seems as if we know it

It's from Africa they say,
Is our love so fossilized?
I don't doubt our history
I just doubt what is inside

And then they changed
The white monkeys
And they scratch up at the sky
Are you proud? Do you regret it?
Do you love the way you lie?

Adam no,
Eve a story
That admits a culture stark

There were other
Ways to say
We're alone inside the dark

God is dead and we are like maggots eating his body
Nowhere getting further
Bursting away from my eyes at the speed of light
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays
Nothing can stay, nothing can stay

Here we are, a morbid picture
Rosy for no reason
God is dead and we are like maggots
Hold up your reason.
Hold up your reason.
Lament, lament
It lasts and decays

Think you've been a cool snake, well I've
Incarnate love, all burning
The full weight of her innocence
Pressed against your burning neck

Thought she never felt that, you got
A whole lifetime to prove your guilt
Cancer is the iron rod
Now you'll learn from mistakes

Take it on the back end, you said
Take it in the long term
Next time I hope you wither too soon
Next time I hope you squirm

Hiding in the fumed ones never
Really hid yourself so well
You're naked
He sees her
You're crawling
There

What if you couldn't be different?
What if it's always the same?
What if that's nothing to worry about,
Can it go both ways?

Wouldn't it break you to realize?
I'd put it all on the line.
Just to lift up a new song to you,
This happens every time.

she loves me so perfectly,
i say nothing about it
i keep whining and whining

she's got amplifiers
the return investment
the few focused phases i could take
and crack a money pinata.

social hierarchy
mechanics i possess
i see what happens
when i obsess
and when i undress.

she's got crazy cities
slums and starvings
unheeded code of conduct
and weathered paladins

i am one of those spillovers
but i could congeal and correct it
they judge me falsely all the time
so what might i assert?

Porcelain lamentations,
Further from that fountain.

Where she dipped her foot.

There,
Into the darker wood
Where the wind whistles between the trees

A wisened oak tree spoke to me
It said with its foreboding presence,

"One day, you will be like me
And you will see from a great height
The virid saplings
Saying hello to the ancient light."

I find myself looking at these pictures now and then

You were so cute
A little angel pulled straight from life's wellspring

With so much light and excitement in your eyes.

You lively blossom
Suspended forever in happy yellow light--
You can't hear me now
But I love you too much

And I'm losing my mind in this echo chamber
The reverberating memories that mean too much to me now

I have to will myself away
And march on to something different,
I stumbled on to something different.

the dim lit rooms where i met your friends, i left
for the dry winter with salty roads
the drive down the east coast
the blizzard on the way back to PA

the spring and summer
when the bottom of my stomach still stung.

hospital stays
and steady paces into the snow
saw the eventual melting and resurgance
of this spring
except when the flowers came up,
they were all gray.

and when the trees all blossomed,
they were all gray.

and when i looked in the mirror,
it was gray too.

and nobody talked to me
and you just laughed and said
*good riddance

My strive is dying--
I'm sorry to say
I see it so alive in you
All around me
With your eyes like a tiger
With your rhythm like a panther
Stalking its sacred prey
In the jungle church jazz atonal life song

There's no rhyme or reason
We stay together, we fall apart
I am so sorry
I'm sorry that my strive is dying
And I'm not doing the things anymore
To keep it alive.

The choking universe holds you up to the sun
Your body dangles by its neck
Which is a thin strip of flesh

This is your reckoning day
Your blood
Will be served tonight in glasses

Try to stow this as it passes!

Then he plunged the sword and rang the bell.

The world was not cleansed

In flames of hell

Walk out on the edge of your eye
And see the edge of what there is to see
Do you see anything at all?

Do you see something in between?

I thought it was good,
I thought it was bad,
I don't think anything at all.

I'm careful not to think anything at all,
No judgments here.

I haven't thought enough of things,
Now I'm unprepared.

Complain to all the local gods that their system is wrong.

Amend the current methodology and ignore the howling redux reductionist egalitarian demon.

We are not equal, I was born to live.

I sometimes stare into space too long
I'm contemplating why I'd be so dumb
Why I'd deliberately do things that dull my brain
Or could give me cancer
But actually I understand why, it just gives me pause

So really I'm not dumb, just aware
That I'd manifest as something so stupid because to a large extent
This all is my big regret,
But only to an extent.

Meanwhile I feel like I should be lauding us
Or at least appreciating it for everything it is
All of my children, the birds
The animals and water
Trees, sprees, mountain goats
The whole lot.

But I can't reconcile one thing,
And that is myself
And how you always seem to give me ****
When I know what I am--
And if that were ever the case
Well I think that'd be very different!

I'm a
Total
Alien

maybe it was hard for god to say it was good--
maybe that was just a silly, random new word he made up
"good," he said
"that's what i'll call it."

--and perhaps he chuckles--

"like me,
but different."

maybe he had to stop kurt from singing
all in all is all we are
all in all is all we are...
just so he could forgive himself for an eternity or two
just so there'd be more than one long apology.

I need a lair because I'm evil.

Typety fingers and flappity lips
The wide gaps in my logic
Are hot holes for working demons
Working their way in.

A desecration of creation,
See beauty bend to the will of Satan
literally, the enemy.

It's all too much, I don't deserve this!
I never should have gone to jail!
I don't get a good amount of sleep because of these randomized drug tests!
I have such a negative association with this house!

And so to stabilize
I need a lair
Then I'll be cool

I need a lair because I'm evil,
Take it like a fool.

See how walking through this graveyard,
All its appendages seem to light up and spring to life in your wake?

It is only an illusion.

She's dead,
And you are the only one who is really alive.
And you are married to yourself,
Forced to reconcile everything you've done with the gravity of nonessence.

****** me with poséd leaves,
Shifting in the breeze
Pull me forth in glist'ning Spring--
My brain
Pulls the ground
From beneath my feet.

Torture me with 'venient screens
Fated things and flaunted wings
But remind me in the even spring
That you and me is all I need

I called you slanted yesterday,
But all I need is you and me.

**** me darling, with petty scents
That become my world just for moments
Make my frilly nature sing
And make my big eyes fruits of Spring.

If I could I'd take my brain out with a hook and wring it free of its ineptitude,
Make it a clear and solid structure
Massage it until it forgives itself
And it lights up as a single torch inside of my head

But right now the fires are several and disparate
As arcs of potential course through flesh
And I am left feeling crazy and tired.

Damming this dysfunctional soup are my wide, brown eyes
Doe-like and lapping at everything.

After it rains,
The water is muddy.

But on a beautiful day,
I guess it is clear.

you'd never
hold onto something for too long
or let it go too early
you're always
right on time

passing through both ways, she was
holding to a limb, heaving suddenly up
exhaling out again

stiff as the flotsam clung her
yet liquid, like everything, in the grand scheme of things

the grand scheme of things that is perfectly still
perfectly dead and reborn, somehow
the unseeable color just above
whatever precipice

you'd never be right on time for me
you'd have to **** me and leave me scraped and scrapless
you're always too late
you flip nestlings to their deaths
a perfectly empty mechanical meaning

Complications
In the morning
Tangles in the brush
Are just accents,
Not even really dissonance
In beauty.

Upon closer examination
The cords and vines
Were united in harmony.
Even choking death is just another plant,
Ravens and mockingbirds unite
In this ultimate symphony

The harvest will only yield so much sympathy,
Lovers and losers
Brothers, abusers--
From the altar of the morning,
Watching the brush breathe
A little more than it tangles.

My sinews are torn,
My veins a pulp
A mess of hair and fragments of skull

I did this myself
I wanted to be
A human once,
You disagreed.

But you and I, we curled into
A single string
And pulled it through
We're one and two
And three and more
We're everything
And ever more.

And strange arrived up to a stop
Here riding on a moment's top
Abstracted, pinned onto the wall
Life became
Something odd
That's all

Every star has its center
With you;
You are the Anchor.

I'm sorry I'm not more obsessed with you

When I decide to write actual compositions... I wont be publishing on here. I love this site though. Sorry I am mostly output oriented xc

i am a hot lover.

i am so full of color,
dark purple bruises on my conscience
a sick yellow manic feeling
the cool blue waters you can always trust
that steady stream is inside me.

i go around my magic circuit
tuning and angling instruments of love
trying to summon a feeling like no one had

i am excited at my own music,
so don't leave me alone with it

let us meet in secret places
and pass different words for love between our lips.
we could talk about anything

the world can make revolting lurches around us
but we are safe here tonight

i thought i was brighter,
less riddled with weak lines
better at singing

i thought it mattered,
what i could have been here or there.

i thought i was right to whine
i thought it was hard
i thought you were mine.

i thought i was sexier
i wished i was sexier
i wanted to be da vinci
i wanted to have money
i thought i might be rich.

i thought things would go differently.
i thought and i died.

so what's
he gonna
do
Now?

i guess i'll just pick
apart
the stars
and the planets
until mercy has been shown to love
and everything makes sense again.

Rip me. Rip me to ******* shreds.
I don't care. I never meant anything.
I'm pinned to this moment.
Everything is a trick,
But you're not fooling me.

Infect me with sadness,
Sadness, sadness,
That is ALL I WANT TO FEEL.
I let the happiness billow up
And Hope can stay the night
She's a ****** thot,
But I am hungry like a black hole for deep, dark misery.

Purple and navy,
Gray and black.
Or void and colorless,
The taste of death.

My talents are a fleeting bloom,
I can die with them curled,
You will never know my true beauty
Because you betrayed me deeply
Wrongly, I will never forgive you

I will make you like death to me
Rank, inimical, raw, s e x y, the truth that reviles us all
And this feeling will pass over me...
Like a storm,
It comes and goes.

I am impaled with your style,
Struck by the lightning of your sin.
I am touched by poison,
I am filled with myself.

I am changed by your chemicals
I was born in space
But I was brought a letter
Detailing all the ways you'll love me til I die.

And I did,
I thought it was soooo sweet.

I am in a mental prison
I am defunct
The vehicle's holes
The wind roars in them

I am just an honest *******
I am ******
I missed my goals
But I'll keep trying

Inside me, nature cannot satisfy itself
Manifesting an external terror
Insignificance
Look how easily I am *******!

Gee I wonder why our dynamic would play out like that

And now I am some lazy *******
Who doesn't want to work!
With all the cards stacked against me
(But I'm just looking at it wrong! Exactly!),
It's a wonder why the guy doesn't want to work!

I see what is happening here
Charge me with complacency
When you claim your want to see me satisfied!

I will not aim high,
When I know what we are.

So just leave me alone,
Let me settle out.

Bitter black drop to the tongue,
Vacuum pulling in air molecules
Which are indifferent to the creases
In a disgusted face
When it draws back its grimace.

I thought you were a bad thought,
An unwholesome feeling,
But then I remembered it is beautiful
To think or feel anything at all

How do I court thee, Death?

Infinitely peripheral lover
Itch in the corner of the corner of my eye
Which I cannot scratch--
Impetus of strange feelings
Agoraphobia and claustrophobia
And their sister philias
Black and white magic pattern that belies everything.

Somehow, death, you are not yourself
Just as a vortex in a sink does not really exist, if you understand me
You are the fractal edge of a part of my life
And in trying to define you
I arrive on the other side,
I am somehow me.

And in this way I thought you were bitter,
But actually, you're sweet.

You are the taste of meat

In a blue corner,
What everyone said melts into the local shadow.
The fineness of reality turns literal, and
Infected with human science,
Everything abstracts,
Emotion settles to a gloomy pond in the middle of nowhere

I'll be fine.
I'll carry this to my death
And do my best
To control my body's unraveling if that is how I die.
I'll try to conduct myself the way that I want
And find a reason to smile.

I was the ingredients for a great success
Even if I never found the way to put it all together
I feel like somebody knew
Let's see what happens with the rest

Antipoet
Lazily directing words on a screen
They half describe life and it bothers him
What does his life mean

Sure I'm trying like an average guy tries,
Lost in the plot of the whiniest generation yet
But sometimes we appreciate the edge cut by my physiology and mind chemicals...

Sometimes.

Do you watch me like I ask you to?
Do you really record everything I do?
I doubt it, maybe you do
I don't practice the way I should on guitar
I let it bleed and when it's ready it bleeds well
I strain to be amazing and when I am robust my blood is rose petals
All folded up to the crown of my mind
In a node of epitome

Then the default mode goes awry again and what I am seeing is oddly supported by a crude cranium

I was a sort of genius
In a way
*******,
I love you so
There is so much more on the way

I feel
A nervous turning under my skin

My eyes feel too large;
A facade curls across my face

My heart feels purple and sick
It is the skeletal stuff that feels strong

I envy so much in my sight
I cannot turn it off at night

Some of the time:
I turn and turn and turn
But I never arrive

I can intuitively play jazz guitar. Pretty well sometimes.

I can sing so ******* well sometimes, I wish more people could hear it.

My voice could make me famous, I impressed people in jail.

I can write great poetry. I can develop great plotlines.

I know a good bit about different fields of psychology, quantum physics.

I can learn about most things. My knowledge has good diversity. I can talk to many different kinds of people about science, music, even math.

If I just had access to a studio... I could work wonders. I could compose.

But...

My nervous fingers are not yet so dexterous. I haven't been able to practice electric guitar; I sold mine years ago and I'm only saving up again now.

I fear my voice may not be consistent enough to perform and studios might make me far too nervous. But I won't know until I try, which I AM GOING TO DO.

Poetry doesn't make you any money and no one pays attention to it anymore.

Knowing things is pointless if you can't do anything with it.

When I talk, I sound really dumb. Really dumb. People think I'm stupid. My social anxiety makes me look stupid. My hair is long and all over the place. I wish people could see how intelligent I am, but I just have to wait until the law releases its hold on me.

I'm 23. I feel as if I could have, but it's getting too late. That sun is setting. People start to look at you as if your life is setting into stone. I haven't really performed. I haven't learned Spanish. I am a slow reader.

My parents and whatever it is they think about me. They never understood me. I want to learn Spanish, not Italian, and I don't care about my birthfather, I just don't identify with my parents, and I don't hate my mother, I just want to learn Spanish before I learn Italian.

I nervously avoid things like listening to music and reading and learning Spanish because I hate living at home. I wish my parents were more laid back people.

but

How I carry myself now and how I start to gather myself is what matters. You can light up on social media really fast, you just have to do it right. You can enter the world you want to, you just have to wait to get off house arrest first. I can do amazing things, I just have to do them.

It's kind of
Hard
To get over
Someone
Like
You.

You're
A piece of
Every sunrise
To me

And it's not
Just
what I learned

It's also...

The nectar
Of your smile
The sharpness
Of your stature
And the adventuresome spirit
With which
You've graced
The world.

sometimes it seems like my brain mush slips out of the corner of my mouth
a senseless jumbled stream of conscience
with no real meaning behind it
false feelings come out,
i just spit nervous impulse at the keyboard,
it's been that way for a while now
in this moment i'm hoping that i stop

haha

When my experience is born,
A dynamic is created.

You are able to do things I am not,
And I can't be impressive.

Some of the experience seemed to want to help,
And some of it was full of hatred.

Some taunted and mocked me,
Some rejoiced along.

Some times I did things right,
And sometimes I did things wrong.

I think a person should be happy.

I pledge allegiance to pieces
Apply me to this planet
Drink me in, sweet atmosphere
Support my legs, O ground.

I pledge to men with hearts of gold
And women with resolve
I make a pledge in confidence
I am one sin absolved

So pledge me to the sea, my love
But say, before you do
That I may have but one full chance
To pledge myself to you.

wrote about a feeling i used to know,
became i a very special piece of dust
upon the windowsill
until
was i introduced
to a gust of wind from outer space,
and we courted each other for time eternal.

and in the next life was i hiking in the rain,
from a good vantage felt i thunder roll up and through my belly
Appalachian thunder
drip drop beads of water, flowing through my brows and lips

don't know what i used to know,
but there you are, your blood is in everything
i only dive into your body over and over

and you're like a page that got stuck
as the winds ravaged a book of symbols and pictures.
sweet subjective antecedent,
tell me what the world means, means.