Garrulous.
Crunchy leaves don't lament the lack of artfulness
Nor artifice, or the lustful way in which I
Walk out of Kristen's house
Expecting them not to attack

I just ramble on and on
Waiting for you to draw your blade
My neck has always been naked
I don't wear steel plates

Brandishing it all the time
Your teeth sparkle in the sunlight
When you smile, they shine
Once I was a kid, back then it never forked my mind

What I do inside is not wrong
And that doesn't mean I'm clinging to pride
The way nature touches herself
Are we like the mantis?
Did you warn me not to do it again?

The brown leaves skitter across the street
They cannot escape and so they hope to be crushed up into dirt
And sometimes get swept up and strangled by plastic bags
But even plastic burns when you get it hot enough

So maybe the ocean is really getting cleaner every second

Bead, be my prison
Relinquish me.

I don't know if I like that poem
But I love those tapping thumbs...

You will never be my savior
But my ever gushing poet
Bleeds for me
On the scene
Where it seems as if we know it

It's from Africa they say,
Is our love so fossilized?
I don't doubt our history
I just doubt what is inside

And then they changed
The white monkeys
And they scratch up at the sky
Are you proud? Do you regret it?
Do you love the way you lie?

Adam no,
Eve a story
That admits a culture stark

There were other
Ways to say
We're alone inside the dark

**** myself?
Yes I do, in Arabic
They learn what I do not
And gain power over me

But I am Godhead...
How could that be possible?
But it's mathematically necessitated
By the actions behind my skull

I **** myself in languages
So many around the world
And you're all my subtle surrogates
And I'm a white man, sent

I give birth to chemical boy
Halo swim in halogen water
Summer sun here, tree limb overhang there
Emergent halo, the world is my halo, whatever happens

Organic chemistry of the tree limb,
Physical reality of the sun
Tracing the same line
Turning like a kaleidoscope
Includes me swimming

No one hates me
Not even myself
Demons can't come here

Stick out my tongue at demons underwater
Thumbs in ears wiggling fingers
Demons are not people

Girl is a chemical
I don't want to think about it
"He will not like women"
Yes I will, I can evade the prophecy

A thought is a chemical too.

A cool animation is welling up in my head
I wipe it from my mind like a tear
You can't save me
I'm going somewhere terrible I can feel it

What puts nutrients in the soil?
Yes I know but never enough
And why situated there like that?
Everywhere I look I see it
Make a shark out of origami and drop it in the pool
It's chasing me around
Oh no

Sierra, Sierra, Sierra
Who is Sierra
When am I gonna die
Is it again? Or only once
What's wrong with my head

The nature of playing cards changed
I noticed that
But it's always the same
Pulling cards all day
Could you call it a stacked deck
And now the poem has written itself
Fireworks shoot out of my brain and I'm not as sad as I sound
We're in love and it's Sunday the first of October

One day the earth and sky will let go of each other
And you'll go shooting out of your head
And through the intensity of suffering you'll become an element of the sun

Yes you were everything you couldn't be
Struggling against itself
Vying for attention from itself
Or totally at peace

When you said you hated us we heard the call
We are eternally precipitate, and this is not a boast

There was nothing we could do

Every day dissolves these hired walls
Whose only job is ignorance:
Ignorance was my home
Awareness is a nightmare

Who cares how well you can play your instrument,
You're full of yourself and it's not that impressive
The universe lined up for you and not me
You don't make me melt, and I won't worship you

No I don't worship you
Why not me?

It takes so much to whip me, beat me
Add a cup of sugar

And slowly pour me
Over thick slices of strawberry
That stick together.

Like promised gems
Pressed upon on your tongue
Casting their tiny incantations to each bud

They sweep away the emptiness for a moment,
They take away the pain

I send my worms forth into the universe
They do it for me

Designed to bring a guiltless lunch
So I can dine in peace

We are the worms which we have sent
And soon we'll be their feast

But at least we are their masters now
And we've got something to eat

I lied to you child, I'm sorry
We're chemically inert
Not every phase
Or every day
But still it's made of dirt

I protected you child, forever
From the ravages of Earth
But now you'll see
There's hell to pay
That we never deserved

These automatic reasons
Which are to you ascribed...
I know those heavy thoughts
I know that we've been bribed

And I know, i know, i know that you're surprised.

I sometimes stare into space too long
I'm contemplating why I'd be so dumb
Why I'd deliberately do things that dull my brain
Or could give me cancer
But actually I understand why, it just gives me pause

So really I'm not dumb, just aware
That I'd manifest as something so stupid because to a large extent
This all is my big regret,
But only to an extent.

Meanwhile I feel like I should be lauding us
Or at least appreciating it for everything it is
All of my children, the birds
The animals and water
Trees, sprees, mountain goats
The whole lot.

But I can't reconcile one thing,
And that is myself
And how you always seem to give me ****
When I know what I am--
And if that were ever the case
Well I think that'd be very different!

He took it upon himself
To die,
Of natural causes
Is just semantics
When you're the head
Of nature Itself

A cascading persona
A collapsing blossom
But you can't prove it

They hate me,
Why do they hate me?
The circus is contagious
Contrivance is a theme here.

They hate me so much,
And don't I hate myself?
No, I hate when it gets hard.

I am not perverted,
I am straight as an arrow.

But gravity bends me
Bends me into the straightest line there ever was
But a line is too brave a thing,
And you hate it.

Then why do you change?
I do not change,
I just continue
You do not hate me,
You can not hate me,
You only love me or you're neutral.

I am not excessively proud of what I am,
Just aware that it could not be wrong.
I have never made a mistake,
And my challengers all tend to fall away.

You will never defeat me
I can not be wrong
You can not hate me
I am straight as an arrow.

Cigarettes alcohol cannabis
******* ******* MDMA
LSD selfishness disdain
Resentment rage
Lust and greed
Psilocybin judgment morality pride
Gluttony hatred complacency
Intentional ignorance
Recklessness DUI love
Lying theft suboxone
Apathy neglect

Up from the soil, from a Womb, out of the darkness
Some came to be Hitlers
And some came to be Buddhas:
The idea of responsibility is the knife you press to my throat
And my own awareness is the wooden handle

How is it my fault, what happened here?
How can you blame me, how?
This is a chain reaction
This is a dream
This is running out of life

You are the wasted sides of me
Don't you think I want to save you?
But I can't, I love you so much, we are always stuck like this, I CAN'T

MY DEAR AND BELOVED CHILD-- WHEN YOU SEE THE THING YOU ARE JEALOUS OF PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE RICH

I KNOW YOU HATE IT, WE ONLY HAVE SO MUCH TIME
IT'S A DESPERATE MESSAGE I'M SENDING TO MYSELF

But I can't save you
We were
We were rich, so rich and vibrant

I don't think you know which direction,
Surrounded on every side
Sides that bleed whenever you take a step
Sides that blame one another for being sides.

Sides that are ultimately delusion,
Sides that come together as a whole.

But I just don't think you know which direction,
Doesn't anyone understand what I mean?
When you exist as an array and a spectrum,
Which direction should you try?

Should I go ahead test God?
But it's arrogant!
Should I let myself be odd?
Do you dare me to?
Should I try to live straight, avoid sin?
Oh you're so far above me now, with a path I was never able to follow.
Or you're an intersection of reflections of my own life which I can remotely access in the present moment.
Should I listen to The Starting Line?

I am what is apparent,
And I am resolute.

I wish you'd step aside and let me shine,
I wish I could do what you do.

And how could you even do that?
You said you did something different.

I just don't know
And I'll never have proof.

This is what God won't let you do
You've got a sour tongue

My thoughts fall heavy into mud
Seen, heard but so inert
I puppet nods among the trees, encouraging conspiracy
Swallow me in your boughs and leaves

"What point were you trying to make, boy?"
They cajole, tickling me
And they're half a nightmare but for now I can love

Since all things hang from my singular head,
I do feel a little heavy
And it weighs me down.

But there's no one to catch my fall,
No one to listen but me.

I fall through lovers and family and therapists
I fall through coffee and paint and food stamps
I fall through probation and panic attacks and karaoke
I fall through these refractions of infinity

Why are you always so pathetic?
What makes you feel like there's some purpose?
Where do you get your motion?
And why do you think they blame you?

Wrench your dream from my future heart
It doesn't want to let go
Though the weight will crush him surely
We will have this forever, foolish

There's no such thing as me
Spawning such brilliant memories.

I swear I've lived it all before
I have been noticing things.

But you say that makes me sick,
And I don't disagree with it.

I guess you could say
I've been noticing nothing,
Nothing at all.

So there's no such thing as me,
Why even write about it?

Spawning such dark memories,
Why burn so bright about it?

But we've gone critical now
We are just chemicals now
And now there's no such thing as me
At all.

And now I'm nothing at all,
At all.

Vein
Silence
Thumping walls but the rhythm's canceled

Ignorance
Periphery
Awareness
A cracked eye

A coma

The rhythm was canceled

But not yet

Crest crest crest CREST crest cress  s s
Who knows if it happened
Thinking about it destroys the thought of thinking about it

So don't think about it

Take her hand, let's go
Don't hesitate, why?

It never happened
The rhythm's canceled
Heart knocking against itself
He's a bit of a pervert

I am not the devil
The devil is a ghost,
And me
I'm alive
Unless I'm not invited

Do you feel heavy,
Crossing in front of this car
With a black tee draped over aging muscles
Muscle wrapped around aging bones?

I've convinced myself that I'm light
That I'm young
That what I know deep down isn't eating me alive
That it's not that bad.

You lifted your eyes
They saw through the windshield
You saw my levity
And I'm sure I saw stress.

Well I thought the universe was caving me in that day
Well it must be getting us both
Because I saw the weight but it wasn't crushing you
It was making you glow

Yeah you looked worried but I know you're a strong man
I could tell by your eyes
I could tell by the beard.

But it was just another day,
Who knows what imbues the sunset
Who knows why I'm still holding on to hope?

I didn't know what gravity meant when I was just a child.

But a man is tasked with responsibility,
And innocence is wild.

Of course this would mean there's something I can never be:
Satisfied by my own existence.
And by moving forward at all, I create a cavity I'll never fill.

I want you to understand how the worst parts of me spring from that idea,
But who are you, you say you're not me.

They just sink in from the shadows like rows of mathematical teeth,
In concert with each victory
We will run out of buffer space.

As I bite into chzbrgr,
I know I'm innovating.

You can help me,
And I can help you cross the street.
But no one can help my blood,
And no on

Are you sure you love me,
Or are we just playing pretend?
I've got this feeling it's just a spectrum,
This part and that part.

A series of orientations
I can't comprehend.

With no reason it should be any specific way,
There are only reasons it has to be that specific way.

But something constantly escapes us
Self-defeating self-driven
But these words are too direct
I must find meaning in the abstract
And start another one

I can't believe my life is like this...
I look at the other examples around me
Such better poetry
But the one experiencing it
For some reason is this...?

How strange.

Oh, where I am
Just went through the thought
I am your peanut butter
I am your glass of water

Oh, where I am
I cannot think that thought
Within the immolation,
I do get ****** into

Without myself,
I went to be your peanut butter
I'll never be a glass of water
Oh no, no no no

You sprang out with me
But we are different lines
Imaginary numbers and irrational are fine
Irregular is better
Got my scalene way of life
And we will all go back
To where we sprang from
You, not I, are divine
You, you, you
You you you you you
You, you you
You you you were never mine

Oh, you send out little shoots
Oh, we're all just screaming at the sky
But you're a giant and they sound like cute little cries

Oh, and you're not wrong
But oh, just look at your big toe
It could turn me into mush and you'd just wipe it off and sigh

There's a big rod of silver
Reach across the sky
I've got a gold made from liver
Isn't that why?

Isn't that why we stay up too late?
Me being me made you so great.
'Cause I needed you
Not to feel alone
When I die, solid stone
To stand upon.

Before all I can do is watch you,
Let your love stream over my hands
Let me believe that I am doing the work
No, let me do it.

Before I slip into dissociation--
Before I lose this to gross depersonalization,
Let our child romp in the pastures we'll call Yesterday

And when all I can do is watch you...
When I realize that not even that will do a thing for us,
Let me go!

I won't pose and say I'm returning
Or pretend to be the last drop of water in a plastic bottle--

Just like I've always been.

There's an old lady in your neighborhood who sits.
She knits and knits and knits.
And knits herself into existence,
She knits her aching wrists.

Her circumstance of birth
Is not like yours and mine
And the alarm of this discrepancy
Is sealed in strands of time.

It's odd, she never had
A mother, or a dad
But she knits them as she knits herself
And knits her seven kids.

Oh, ain't it strange?
Oh ain't life absurd?
It all checks out and comes around
But we only shared a word.

There's a man in Andromeda's sea
He's not like you or me
Because being that far changes you
Into something you can't be

But our thoughts could make him dance
On a giant knot of chance
And maybe all that space is full
Of books and beams of trance.

A tangent needs a touch,
And what could matter more?
Some dreams fall to obscurity
Cause no one's keeping score.

Oh, ain't it so weird?
Oh, but normalized!
Abstraction crumbled instantly
When it was realized.

Our skin is like disaster
With radiant ***** of hope
Nested on the precipice
Leaning into death

And death leans into me--
The leaning is preferred to picking beaks or bullets
Because it's the pressure that makes daisies and lovers out of clay

Like a little kid pushing playdough through a plastic toy

And you can lie and cling to meaning
When the hemorrhaging starts
Say: the kid is pushing me through a heart-shaped hole
I hope at least he's having fun
But there is no child in there
And no one wants to feel like a *******'s pen

And I'm scared of what my pen might say,
If pens could talk

But then again, at least I can imagine it. **** on that for a minute, it's a funny thought.

But no, I was never awkward.
Because I only go in one direction
Crossing ether with ether til there's flowers,
Smacking my palm's meat against a tree trunk to confirm that yes, it is hard.

But I know I was low. Oh, I'm so sure I was low!
Bending under the weight of weightlessness to become way too scared of letting go.
This all must be someone's fault,

But we don't know.

So pick your spruce tips in the spring.
You're right, the flavor was bright and citrusy
A nice snack indeed, filled with vitamin C

And eat your food from cans, it's quite a certain thing.
Maybe you're eating from your own stomach,
There's no way to really tell.

Yes, you're giving birth inside yourself--
True, osteoblasts rove bones
And ribosomes fold proteins while you fold your clothes

And the passion with which you make love is noted.
And I am pregnant I am pregnant I am pregnant like the sky
I can't bear to tell you any more,
Please stop hassling me with all your questions.

Are you really made of stone, deep down in there?
With soft tissues between, yes I am, yes we are?
She seems to want to know.
Wants to say that she's glad to know
And she's scared like you
That we are kissing cousins
That our veins go in circles and circles... don't go nowhere

But what if they do?
Can we talk about something else,
Maybe put something on TV
Slide photons into our eyes and mash up matter in our mouths
And I'll watch you fall asleep and see your chest rise and fall
And we can paint a house
And we can be in love,
Oh yes we can.

You are so much lower than yourself
Impossible to solve,
Held together with tape.

What a waste of time,
With your broken wing
Forced to watch hallucinations of others winning big.

And you don't even try
Because you know the truth.

Oh, the moon sometimes cares to stare back.
And when she does, she sighs.
You never knew that shade of blue
When you were alive.

You thought you did
In times of jaded woe and un-surprise,
But tiny waves of wonder
Were running through you all the time.

So thank you for your feedback,
And rank your every rhyme--
A comma makes a difference
And difference is sublime.

Don't pay me for this poem--
Just cast the words aside.

The things I'll never be
Are all haunting my mind.

Oh, the things I'll never be...
They're eating me alive.

Everything is right with you
Everything is wrong with me
I don't know what you said
That made me believe

I am just a fallen child
****** hair fossilized
You always meant the worst for me
Things I was waiting to see

A cackling flame swallows up my belief
Then you curse the unbelievers
It's happening to me
Shoot him on sight
Don't take my greed
Don't swallow this pill,
I'll make you bleed
For me

For me...

I wanna have fun but I
Always feel guilty
I don't know why these flowers are
Always wilting
But I've seen worse and I'm
Thankful for
My bruises and cuts
And aches and sores, oh no

What have I done?

You better not say I'm the only one?

I'm in
Company with
All these demons
At least they all know how I always mean it

I know you know
Everything
You'll never go away
Just stop looking at me like (that)
..you know
Everything
I always meant the best
But I
Cracked open my head

I've never been to Chicago
I don't care
I don't want to hear your songs
Cause we're nothing and nowhere
And by any other name
You'd hurt just as much
I feel the weight of my shame,
I feel molested by your touch

I know you know
Everything
I'm missing some songs
But they never meant a thing
I know you know
Everything
You know I didn't mean it
Just let me go and deal with this

You smell
Like baby's breath and
Cigarettes

//

I need you to know that I am not well read

//

It's not like that,
No it's not like that

Who gave you all that power,
Where'd you get your guns?

I guess we'd want to stay humble
If I'm the only one.

Your teeth are razor sharp,
You've got armies,
You've got everything but hope.

I am somewhere inside
Until I look like you,
The noose at the end of my rope.

Every star has its center
With you;
You are the Anchor.

I'm sorry I'm not more obsessed with you

Walk in on me
The ******* of the starlight
An everlasting feeder
He manipulates the world

A world of manipulation
Sees itself, gasping and gawking
Trying to shrug off
What my body is doing

But I cannot
And you always come to rest there,
A ghost in my eye

Like an encroaching needle
Like a soul on fire
Or like death incarnate--
Why?

We'll drape him with laurels, we'll laud him and praise him
For the work that was done had no basis or justice.

I am clearing a space in the middle of nowhere
To do nothing
While no one sings of my great success
You didn't warn me in time for the grave address

You didn't have me
She said
You just thought you did

You couldn't tell me a thing
In any context

You were always struggling
You just didn't always see it

You couldn't define victory
In time to be it.

I am a tiny brown mushroom
No,
I am an angel of death

I am a blade of grass
I am a glass of gin

He said,
Don't try and distract me
Waving his hand

I will never misgive,
For I can only disband.

The conditions, the circumstances
The setting
Has to be right
For us to succeed.

So if I ever do
It's definitely because I tried.

I think 'trying' is another word for
The last time I died
And we have to put paradise somewhere
In life.

So just lift me up
Move my limbs towards that goal
What we do inside, no one knows but us anyway
So just hold me down
I don't promise not to scream
You're as real as you are fake
You're the horror of a lifetime

You're a slippery devil--
When there's not enough,
You'll say I didn't try.

I don't wanna know how crazy I am
I don't wanna walk this road to the end
I never want to see the cycle
I never want to see the cycle

I don't wanna know that there's nothing to know
But secret nonsense in a perverse show
I don't think I speak my language
I don't think I speak our language

Now I just dissolve
I left clues but there's nothing to solve
I think it's kinda cute how you dodge
My questions
I feel so arrested
I sit here and precipitate bombs

It is what it is
You swear it's my fault but I'm in
You want to isolate a slice of this kid
I'm changing, yeah no **** I'm changing
But this is what the universe did

I don't wanna find out how
I don't wanna find out how
I think you should be leaving now
I think you should be leaving now

God can't be greater,
Forced to compete with himself.

A quantum God,
A limited God.

A God who turned into Satan.

A God who can't.

A God who's scared.

I'll never be greater,
I have to be me.

This is everything you'd to to hang on your thinnest shred of novelty
Can't help but think we're trading our dignity

Dignity *****.

Life *****.

I can't quite understand the exact way in which it's happening, but I can feel us dying.

It's a torrent of paradoxical energy
There's something wrong in paradise
There's a riot in heaven

Every concept is broken

Life could be awesome
But you are charged with agency,
That card they keep playing.

I swear, there's something strange about it.

I don't want to read Chaucer
I want to forget everything
I don't want to study Van Gogh
I want to forget everything
I don't even want to read Edgar Allan Poe
I just want to forget everything

I don't want to study music theory
I want to forget everything
I don't want to find a way to love you
I want to forget everything
I don't wanna find a way to fall in love with you again
I just want to forget everything

I don't want to hear about Robert Smith at 29
I want to forget everything
I don't want to hear about your Olympic Race
I want to forget everything
I for sure don't want to listen to Taking Back Sunday
I just want to forget about everything

I don't want you to make me cry
I want to forget everything
I don't want to think I'm supposed to hurt
I want to forget everything
I don't wanna feel your scathing words
I just want to forget everything

Harmony, sweet harmony
It doesn't exist here, baby
Harmony, sweet harmony
There's somewhere it don't exist.

Occupation is such a daunting task.
The ironclad God swears up and down
That he's not asking me to jump into a dragon's mouth.

Blame me, the thing with the experience
The tacit pact among the angels
To tear it down, tear it down.

You didn't write such scathing songs,
Between your teeth, it was about a girl.
She did you wrong, and did you wrong.
Can't even see her crooked steps.

Well it's the world that's crooked, not me
And I want to hear you out
In court of law,
But we are sitting in a dragon's maw,
And noticing retracted claws
Could be of use to scrape and brawl
And make our own way, rect and raw
And that's our job here, after all--
To make a stand so strong and tall!
Yet all we do is hem and haw
While manifesting every flaw,
And now I cast my eyes in awe
To see my fatal friend's been mauled
The sherpa of my love who hauled
Us both up Everest, hear my call!
You were the only thing I saw
The novel taste of ripe pawpaw
Who drop their fruit in early fall
...
So sitting in that dragon's jaw
My job would be to lay there, sprawled
Into the stomach, break and fall
But until then, I dream
And draw.

You're a stone like the moon
Mottled with fated freckles
Nestled in her hand, feeling the vibrations of an alien language

We're talking about what an idiot you are.
Foggy mornings, lost in thought
Pizza and ranch dressing for breakfast.
Pajama pants, dewy grass
The cream and sugar coffee palette bath,
And...
Sink.

The wide plane of stratus drifting overhead
Like the biggest, silliest hat in the universe.

You're an ape wearing fuzzy socks.
And you're best friends with a dog.
You're a polyp lost in a storm of thoughts.
You're a garden full of moss.

You're a dreamer with a purpose.
You're a singer in a band.
You're a trekker on a journey,
You're a stone inside my hand.

Just a little light
That pulls itself in place
She can she can't
Who would want
To be this way?

In this we drowned
Not enough to go around
With cursed lips
In the upside-down

Broken concepts
Litter the floor
I can't write a poem
Who's it for?

Impossible, the reality
Shrinking me
My hungry dream

I need to leave,
The music's dead
It's all in my head
It's all in my head

There's nothing you can do to make it right
All we ever could afford is a bleeding dream
And my mind is in abyssal depths tonight
With all the helpless light to keep me company

We're lost forever,
Secret death
You said we won
But I'm seeing red

Cause no one's gonna hear me when I'm screaming for an answer,
And I'm drowning at the bottom of the sea

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're insane.

There's nothing we can do to save you now
When you're petrified, you're a sinking stone
And I don't even know if it floats
Cause all these lonely boats are just sinking slow

Between the stars and into nothing
Emptiness is coming
Loosening the skin from my bones

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're insane.

Fever's setting in
I'm alone for all of time
Head is jutting out
Without a plan or a lifeline

Vessel of the world,
Navigation was a lie!
What am I to do
Without a plan for a lifeline?

I guess that I'll just wait around
And die

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a deathwish in your
Broken mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of pain

Captain, you're in

Captain, you're insane
You've got a look in your eye
You've got a demon in your
Open mind
You've got a world to unexplain

*******, lonely God
And with a hopeless nod
You're gonna write it off
So just **** your pride
And deconstruct your brain

I'm in a world of shame

Captain, you're insane.

To the boy who cleans trash from his Texas neighborhood
And the next couple days notices heavier litter left by those demons
To the one who is pointedly NOT in Mayday Parade
But is too blessed to listen to all their songs
I need therapy
Therapy that I'll never receive

We'll see what we can do for you
And if it's never enough
Just shut the **** up

I know these times are hard for you.

Sometimes your vessel will glow with a music that's in-between
Rushing fugues of color
You can't make up God's mind

Your dials rotate under moonlight
What went wrong?
Why did you sleep on the roof of your house?

The perihelion draws sweat from your skin
We buried it in time
Cause we're cryptic kids in a tragic world,
Always leaving us a line.

Nobody knows you're here,
Just you
Distrustful of comfort.

We can't find a way to place it
We don't know what to do
Not in this moment
On this radio station between worlds

I can't be like you,
I'm not like these reflections
Swimming around me.

With shaking hands,
I realize the entire universe ends with me.
Somewhere else in time I fall to my knees
And cry the greatest and loneliest cry of all time.
But here, we whirr and buzz on. We talk talk talk when we're alone to keep this moving. Fibers come loose and fall to the ground every day.

It's red, love. The color you bleed. The color of apples.

It's orange. Like "A Lesson in Romantics"

It's yellow, like the sunlight in the morning.

And green, like the forest you've been courting.

It's blue, like the sky you're scared to look in.

And violet, like the flowers you brought home.

Don't you see, we can't exceed ourselves at all, so it's up up and away with love!
There's nowhere else to go but here
With gravity above.

I feel the forest growing into me.

Part of my body,
Seen from transcending peaks:

I am the reason for stands of trees,

I am the end of these violet leaves.

Compounded in time, their maceration
And evolution
Are constant, a nutrient stream.

My identity.

Seen from transcending peaks.

Little mites walk the giant canyons
Of my skin.

Cyanobacteria stow away
In the fabric of my backpack
And hitch a ride home
With me.

Decaying leaves and wild yeasts,
Red oak and wet clay,
Protozoans, insect larvae
And gametophytes season my plate.

Eyes that swing from tree to tree--
They are river deltas of another kind
What is flowing into them
Is kind, and it will never leave.

I am looking through the forest
For my identity.

I am looking, I am lost in the leaves

I have found my great reprieve.

I can feel the forest growing into me.

The relief of your faces
The force of your breaths
All that I trample, caress or ingest

The stone you expose
And what you conceal
Are pillars of fate
That make me real!

And you come with a fear of what I am.

I'll be your soil, and I'll be your seed
I'll be the depth of the light that you need

I'll carry forests, and mountains, and seas
I'll grow into you
Since you grew into me.

Wax on our fingertips,
Glitter on your cheeks.

What's it like to be you?

We were in a cardboard box in the backyard,
In between the autumn leaves

The smell of construction paper
And sticks of glue.

I wondered alone,
What's it like to be you?

It's pink and it's blue.

Your bones are so slight,
And mine are just plain.

At first an aversion
Now the spike of my brain.

I don't know why I want to kiss you,
I just do.

But what's it like to be you?

Passions thrummed inside my veins
One of trillions wondering things
Then suddenly you culminate
And like a feather you float within my fate
Lost in my pupils, they dilate.

And suddenly, I know what it's like to be you.

I put on the cat ears and do my thing.

I cut my skin,
I show up late.

I killed myself for Babs and Kate.

The stuttered monologuing State.

The emo kid without a shape
My personality, obliviate
The 29 year old I macerate

That's okay, I hate this poem,
That's okay
I hate this poem
That's okay
I hate this poem
That's okay
That's okay

That'******>

The things we do inside don't matter,
A sick twisting of the mind.

Cut off the circulation at strategic points
Devour the self
And dream your pleasure.

This is not an admission of sin
This is an innocent protest
There are some things I would never do
And that's how I got you.

This is not heaven
It's my refusal to go to hell
I scoop my brains back into my head
And get on with living.

It feels good.

Veins ******* veins,
You know it doesn't matter
We end up with a face
We end up in a shape.

I want to have *** with you
I don't wanna get married
And you can't have a baby that wasn't already there.

But what if this is wholesome,
And I was just in my darkness?

I can feel my organs bulging in space
Boasting and cowering
Squelching and squirming

I am a sick man

I hold together my viscera with an idiotic pride
No one likes me, not really
Not even myself

I am something wrong with the world
The only thing that's right
When you claim it's yours
And try to rob me of the light

And heaven knows you will
But they never asked to lie
Those poor conquerors of hell
That doomed wretch of a spy

I'm a lost cause, love
Every argument
Buried in eternal silence

Now I'll scar my brain
I will waste away
And forget the taste of trying

I really loved you
It was the last time I felt alive
But I was broken
Now I'll twist myself some more

And it was my fault
Should have recognized
What you tried to give to me

I will mutilate myself
I was never meant to love