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May 2023 · 81
Dissect me
Sometimes Starr May 2023
I need you
To dissect me
A little animal
With my skin so free

I didn't wanna fight
With my sustenance
You make me wanna cry
You're injustice

And I need you
To dissect me
Figure out my brain
When I try to sleep

And I need you
To direct me
Shepherd of the sun
Need some guidance please

The whole world wakes up...

IYYY YAM RIGHT,
WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, BABE.
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
AND I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

IYY YAM RIGHT,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
...WE GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WOMAN GETS WEAKER

I need you
To eject me
A bitter little pill
Called empathy

Make it count
A 123
Take me out
When it's hard to breathe

And I need you
Like you need me
A little old friend
Called Necessity

And I want you
To undo me
You're driving me insane,
What's my forking name?

And Wake Up!

IYYY YAM RIGHT,
WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, YAY
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
NOW I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

IYY YAM RIGHT,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
...WE GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WOMAN GETS WEAKER

We can make a sacrifice
On and on to darker times
Living in a memory
Anything and everything

We came here to analyze
Our relations through dead eyes
We are mutants in the sun
Look at what the world's become
....
SO WHEN'S THE NEXT WAVE?
I'M BEATING MYSELF
IN THE HEAD, BABE
I'M LEAVING MYSELF
NOW I'M MELTING
KNEW WHAT I WAS
BUT I DIDN'T WANNA TELL ME

HYPERREAW,
THAT'S A FEACHO
I'M LIVING MY LIFE IN THE BLEACHOs
GAVE BIRTH TO AN ARROGANT CREATURE
NOT MY FAULT
WHEN THE WATER GETS DEEPER
Apr 2023 · 78
The Vultures of Empathy
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
Swarm down your sordid feathers,
And sanctify me with clipping beaks

I found myself prone,
I am the meal
And the discovery of my own ineptitude

Paralyzed and sunburnt,
A blossom of innards laying on my torso
I am a collection of adjustments
I am like a trunk full of doorknobs

And I know the sky is like a burst vein
With gnashing pain, the security's paid
Made cooler by the spirit of procrastination.

But today is the day
Oh, today is the day
When the vein finally busts and the sky's ripped away

Yes, today is the day.

I knew I'd see this side of us
Our whole lives spent trading faces.
So hold me to my lust
So mock my halo with your wings.

I knew I was a comatose salesman,
So let my dry tongue flop and sleep.
PROMPT 27: write your own poem titled The ________ of ________,
where the first blank is a very particular kind of plant or animal,
and the second blank is an abstract noun.
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
With the sacred texts laying there
Ready to **** you
God stands ready to reap you
God will never **** you
Rapture not ****
Reap
We reap the bounty
We are not scolded
We stand alone
Like some cabal of nether beings
We are vicious
We are demonic
We are lost

We are sin
We are selfish
We are queer

We are Satan
We are God
We are everything

We are Dharmic
We are animist
We are the living dead

Motion motion motion
Motion motion motion
Physical law, physical awe
Wring it out a little more
And squeeze it to the side
We can make the desperate fit

This all has to mean something big
I mean really, really, REALLY big
It's better when it doesn't,
It's better when it doesn't

What kind of vortex am I looking into?
I'm starting to doubt you
Starting to doubt you're really ever there

Oh and I heard you want to be my wife
Well that would be lovely
I suppose I'll just scoop my brains off the floor
And put then back in my head
So I can listen to more of this beautiful music
About how my brain isn't very good at its job

And I told my GPS the other day it's not very good at telling me where to go
What are we doing
Why am I so **** stupid
A loser
An object of hate
Why am I what I am
I don't like it
You don't like it
We don't like it

I'm anti-art
I'm denatured
This is not going well
Apr 2023 · 77
She's No Shel Silverstein
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
Your only love is a lie,
Lost, weary, dejected
A broken toy

Your only time is a waste
Black, stupid, dull, depressing
Watching fake pixies flying by

Tripping *****
Balling fists
We were not great
You were great.

Your only choice is the axe
Hack out your flowers,
Furrowed brow

The only things you want
Are the things you're not allowed.

We were selfish
That's what we always said.

We are divorced now,
And never meant to live
On the inside
Of anyone's poor head.
Apr 2023 · 91
Stockholm Star
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
I have witnessed the creator's disdain for himself
In the grimace of the great archangel

None of the angels are quite sure what to do
Or why everything looks exactly the way it was
They rush to each side of heaven
Chasing something evil
Oh no,
I worry that it might just be me.

That is not innocence,
One says
Look at what's actually happening

Yes,
Says another
But look to the beginning

My quantum nightmare is swallowing itself

Creation resents itself maximally
Takes itself to the breaking point
Where the eye fills with red odium
And the mouth is reeling with curses
And a hand will reach for the blade

But you'll only be hurting yourself,
Prometheus,
Because you're everything there is.

Oh come on,
You know it's true.

*(well then give me some credit,
You would **** me with such a charge
And treat me so lowly my entire life?

But we did all we could afford,
You were very rich and you just did not realize it
You were never thankful enough
You should have been more thankful

Oh, thank you so much then
What a great life it's been)
Apr 2023 · 69
appreciate you.
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
please leave me Angel
unfold your sun
deconstruct my body
in a world that's never done

knives do caress me
and they shine brightly, Love
always does its best to see
the seed through the blood

we reverberate insanity,
simplify this
once united with black
i am pregnant with this

so we're more than a man
but i heard you're enraged
well he's all we can be
and the ending is strange.

please leave me Angel
my desire is pain
and the Life that's inside me
is heavy again

(solipsist,
recurring
but i lost my receipt
so they say we're psychotic.
wow, that's pretty neat!)
Apr 2023 · 112
Understand the Lamb
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
They don't understand
Grandma understands
She can only be with you for so long

They don't understand
The universe forced your hand
Every sin was manifest
Had to be
They say ridiculous,
Clearly it was your choice

They outline the logic
Don't you see
It was your choice
Can't you see why this is your fault

In a court of law
Outlined it
You know it's bull*t--
Self defense!

They don't understand
These other version of you
Drowned versions
Is that what you believe?
That we are all just other version of you

How selfish can this individual be
And can't it see
That it can only go so far before finding a kind of recompense

No I do not see
I refuse to yield
Because I am growing wild
Wild without a care.

If I am to be the predator in heaven,
Then I'll be the best ****** Lamb there ever was.

But you could never be the Lamb
Never, never in a bazillion years
And don't you think just because you're Satan that I feel bad for you
You could never be the Lamb
I'll beat the thought out of you
You could never be the Lamb
The Lamb doesn't act like that
The Lamb doesn't DO that
You could never be the Lamb
No you could never be the Lamb
The Lamb is not so selfish
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
No,
You're not the one whose hair escaped you
From the chemo treatments
Roving for potable water
Or on a diet of only rice for three years

No,
You're not the one who is just about leaving
Sitting in prison for crimes the universe made you do
Or the one beat half to death by a troupe of enraged hominids

But don't you think it's sad you have to do that?
Like Jesus Christ
Bent to yourself
Like Mohammad Blessed Be His Name
Forced to prophecy what kills you
Like the Buddha
With your ***** desires
Accessing higher dimensions fully aware of your ineptitude?

Sitting in a mansion crying
Covered in peanut butter,
Crying to the moon
You are almost the same size as the sun in the sky
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

You definitely hit the nail on the head
But wasn't it into your own?

Was it the best thing or the worst
And never having a metric to judge it against?

Don't you think

Don't you think

But don't you think it's sad you had to do that?
Apr 2023 · 105
Perfect Tension
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
No, I will not accept
That I made some mistake
You contrived ******* wraith of the universe
Looking to usurp any chance you get.

No, I will not accept
That I am deserving of stigma
Your hellish spikes
Always trying to pierce my hide.

No, I will not accept
A world that foists blame upon me,
The one who toils in suffering to find
The death of infinity lies with him alone.

No, I will not accept.
Is this what I get?
Is this what can be afforded?

No, I will not accept.
For everything I must have gone through,
This is what I get?

You're shorting me
I see your glory
Always so far out of reach

You're shorting me
Of course I'd be
Right at home with jealousy

I want to see what we can be
If I'm alone
Just forking show me.

Just show me
Just show me
SHOW ME WHAT WE CAN BE!
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
I can never wash my hands of this,
As sure as the empty firmaments in the sky,
Like rings of fire
Staring at each other knowing we are each other's deaths,
Our deepest identities.

We negate each other's purpose
Now in need of gates in heaven
And I'm a predator in heaven
I guess you're just a helpless Lamb.

We kiss too passionately,
Lifting up our *** as a bleeding trophy.

Now the clouds are pierced with a chemical fire
Sights you'd never want to see
It was the PB&J sandwich of five years old
Coming back, the action turning inside out,
Digestion coming back now from the sky.

The caustic gases singe your nostrils
And you receive an unnatural sensation
Now your nerves are all spiky and everything seems long, and reeling

We have brought this on ourselves
And everything that you called help
Takes a cruel turn when you realize you're actually alone

You start to slough attachment
Oh, I wish I could help you with this...
When you're crushed into the center of your head...
But no one else is there when it happens
No hand to hold, you have to
Do it
Alone
Apr 2023 · 109
Ya
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
Ya
Ya, the taste of ice cream on his lips
Ya, garlic mustard growing on the ridge
Ya, the good ideas on the fretboard
Ya, I hone the sound of thunder in my hand

Ya, Philadelphia
Ya, Rapunzel let down her hair
Ya, Dipper Riley Marko and Tucker
Ya, Texas

Ya, Pokémon
Ya, al kahul
Ya, Fall Out Boy
Ya, skinny jeans
Ya, asymmetrical hairdo

Ya, Kitty
Ya, Rock and Roll
Ya, the nature preserve
Ya, The Way She Moves

Ya, Mayday Parade
Ya, the Philadelphia Orchestra
Ya, Music Theory Classes
Ya, backpacking by yourself

Ya, Family
Ya, the Museum of Modern Art
Ya, Mount Hoback
Ya, Cimarron NM

Ya, The Wonder Years
Ya, Allen Ginsberg
Ya, The Moon
Ya, the Wissahickon Green Ribbon Trail

Ya, the mansion
Ya, Devil's Pool
Ya, Bloomsburg
Ya, Danville

Ya, Kangaroo
Ya, girlfriend
Ya, Australian licorice

Ya, Gameboy color
Ya, AOL Instant Messenger
Ya, The Killers
Ya, Santa Claus

Ya, Chipotle
Ya,
Apr 2023 · 93
Hole Foods
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
Seed of life, seed of death:
All the twisted people swim
With their twisted little faces
On their twisted big brains

Connected by twisting nerves.
I see happy people, worried people
Despondent people, broken people
Cool people, smelly people
Hard-working and lazy people...

None of them know why they're here.

Now I'm working at the grocery store.
I'm wondering if the 80's happened
As I pick a cabbage from the wet wall and put it in a bag
And I'm saddened by the idea that all these people have a reason to hate me
Because I know
I'm the ******* star at the center of their universe.

They are cells of my body, full and devoid of purpose
Angry when I scratch my back
Seed of life, seed of death.

They are experiences held away from nothing by a certain tension
And you can feel the tension everywhere you go
Seed of life and death.

You didn't want to understand it, but now you do, and you can't go back...

And every year seems more brazen and the Chinese side of me itches

And the American side of me itches

And the whole planet just itches with death as it crawls toward itself
And clambering over itself
And the people wear their different clothes like excuses to be alive
Like they are trying to hide their nakedness
Like they want to distract me from the great ineptitude of Spirit!

We speak languages we don't know, do you think because you'd want to?
We exist divided
Bent against each other and ***** for collision
Worse than that, we don't even exist!
And all the details are just nonsense,
Reeling, unsure of their own identities
Or maybe clothed in white linen and kept safe from desolation,
What a gay promise that turned out to be!

I start to think it was me who twisted all the people,
But I'm twisting too
And I just want to straighten everything out,
Make it all okay
And I start to get scared because there are surgeons but I'm not a surgeon.

I pick up something a customer dropped in the produce section, next to the neat piles of citrus.
OH THAT'S KIND OF YOU

Yes, hello. You are ... kind of... me.
Have we always been this way?
Is it really the same every time?
Can Jesus help us, or Mohammad, or maybe the Buddha or a fireman?

Maybe a gecko that sells car insurance?

I start to worry because I've seen videos of impoverished people, or people with bad health conditions
And I worry I'm not appreciating the status of apex predator enough
I'm not jerking off enough--
How do you glorify God?
I stop my cart to let the elderly lady pass in front of me.
The bag of potatoes I'm holding bumps into my selfish ... didn't happen.

Heading towards the grocery aisles I'm thinking about concordances of self
And how it makes sense that there are stars
And celebrities
And I wonder, am I looking at how happy I was to kiss my high school girlfriend?
Am I looking at a personified version of myself telling a good joke,
Just lensed through the cosmos?
Or am I a future celebrity
Oh, but I don't want to be
Because I'd have to be worse than Adolf ******!
No... no, I couldn't be...
But yet it exists.

We don't exist. Just listen to Glass Animals. You can tell, it's weird.
You're so arbitrary without being arbitrary at all.
You're so full of odium while also being made of pure empathy.
You're giving me looks in the aisles again. You probably just said something I was thinking for the second time that day. You always respond to my thoughts these days...
I feel like you make me look at you so you can have a reason to **** me.
Nowadays when you smile at me it feels like I hired you to.

Nowadays when a family passes me I have to feel guilty, I'm a creepy man, I can't admire them.

There is no good ending to this poem, and I doubt I'll come back and finish it. I'm not trying to be like allen ginsberg and besides

Who's really reading this **** anyway...
Whole whole half whole whole whole half!
Apr 2023 · 86
Death of God
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
We

Have changed.

I'm reeling with discomfort
The nauseous passenger of an insane God
But I should thank discomfort
Because I knew he'd turn into sheer pain
Those sensations of dying,
The soul rot.

I am holding my brains in with one hand everywhere I go,
But it gets worse than this and everybody knows.
As I precariously shop for my destiny,
I know I precipitated sacred texts
I crystallized demons
When I formed a self
And they will not go away.

But you will not acknowledge these things
You'd hospitalized me
You'd stigmatize me
Your Haj of death
Your happy pain
Your cult of hell

You've penetrated me before
You'll do it again
It is sick, the way we have to operate
Sometimes Starr Apr 2023
What you do when you're alone,
Crossing the line of what is right

Spewing demon seed inside your cell
Knowing full well of its ill health
Knowing empty well that it spells hell

Wipe it away with a sock

Just **** yourself

You are past that point and I'll still paint you spring
But you don't want to know how I do it

You are running on fumes for the rest of your life
Don't know how you can afford to live past twenty five

You are a cadaver that I keep alive because I can't stomach killing what was once a child
My neotenic love, you act cute to survive
Don't look at me with those eyes

I go back in time to look for places to cut
To find my food,
But I find you were right

I can't eat something with those big brown eyes

So I guess I'll just die

At whatever age I am then

I guess I'd just die.
Mar 2023 · 77
Untitled
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Nothing you see is not yourself!
And your eyes pulled them up in the shape that they would

When the sting of another enters the room
A threat on your wife, or on your property

So you cannot be the stellar musician but you'd rather listen
So, always pine after what's never given

So I scream to God YOU LET THEM PRACTICE BUT NOT ME!! YOU CULTIVATED THEIR EFFORTS BUT NOT MINE!!
And Dad answers back that it's my choice...

And from the quantum foam between these two notions springs Gabriel, singing
"You are a circle, you will always be complete"

I cannot calm my frothing blood
We operate on the tension that rends and renders me
Disa bowed briefly saying
You don't read, you write

You are all my ideas
And I want the blame
I want the credit
YES HONEY I WANT EVERYTHING
THESE ARE ANGRY WORDS BUT I WANT TO BE CALM
I AM CALM RIGHT NOW
I WANT PEACE
I WANT TO BE SATIS
I WANT EVERYTHING
I LOVE YOU

nevermind I'm just gonna chill
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Surrogate star--
Tangled in the darkness of my hair,
Cast a light I can look on and sigh
Make my universe eerie and deep.

Ectopic heart--
Now we are doomed to survive
And it's hard to be so sensitive.

My Stillborn child!
Walk with your apparatus
And remember the words to your song.

Note the level of attractiveness
As you hobble through the crypt
At least nobody thought you were wrong!
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
The procession of the spectrum
Locks the stars up in heaven
And all the young music angels fly around the world.

I just moan.

She has to be higher than my desires,
He's set them loose
And they give a rough energy when I beseech their understanding.

Some things apply to everyone else,
And some things just apply to me.

The culprit emerges from the clay.
Though we all know it's no one's fault,
Someone has to die
Now we're all demons hiding in a rainbow

And if I pray you're the one who rides
You're abashed you don't know what to do with it
Cause you know somewhere deep inside you crossed the only line.

Or I don't want the gray,
How can these aspects form in infinite space?
There are multiple things going on here as we paddle towards death.

Don't become my desires,
Be my energy.
I worship myself I'm much cooler than anyone around here
But they all treat me like I'm insane
Or like I'm just another person,
But I know I deserve the same quality of praise you give yourself
Because you're always writing lies about things I can't accomplish
And that's not right, it doesn't even make sense!

I can accomplish everything in the entire universe
And I don't even have to try--
All I'd have to do is die.
Mar 2023 · 273
brittle feeling
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
His heart became like a dessicated root
And he walked around the world with a stiff spine,
Because he was afraid that the first thing to touch it would simply
crunch
Its vestige into dust,

And he would stop existing.
Mar 2023 · 69
Sierra From Middle School
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
I was thinking about Aries
Did you hear, we can get married
To Him? and I hope you do
You and your new husband
We found out about you...

Back then, things were simpler
Now, laying on a different couch
But in the same spot
That we made out
Fourteen years ago

I was thinking, and I was going
To penetrate you in my mind again
It's something that we never did
****, fourteen, we were fourteen
Our bodies they were fourteen

And I am a responsible adult
Thinking alone to myself

But tonight we'll lay in spoons instead
I will not disturb
Dare not disturb your purity
I am your friend
From all the way on Mars
And technically I'm lying to you
Just don't forget me.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
It's the sharp smell of saturated soil
Watching a puff-chested robin pluck a worm from the earth.
Violet tickled feet hop the spring marsh,
And sharp yellow trills sound like the nearby
Rambling brook.

They come along in mostly threes and fives.

Time ensconces her like petals.
Scrolling through one life we see
Petals wrapping left, or right:

Flying forward, hear the chickies cheeping
She feeds their yawning beaks a worm
The cowbird, now, she's noticing

Rustling petals tell their story:
Macon is her winter home.
The southern air smells slightly sweeter

Flipping through the days and seasons
Petals welcome blackened fruits
The fetus of inimic feature
Is pregnant with shadows of the past.

It's how her collapsing body made room
For everything that has been.

And heading eggwards, backyard feeders
Summers spent in Pennsylvania
Followed rounds and first palms ever...

Waketh I, to pungent earth!

Baby robins are good-natured
I suppose in life, they must commit some grave crime
So say to all these blackened fruits of mine:
Trophies for participation.
Help me down into my place
Be the wet-nurse of my
Mar 2023 · 94
Untitled
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Your happy sun seed fills me with gray life and terminus
How deep my darling goes, to the anchor where it stops her soul
You can be parade of motion and waving around your expressions
But right now it's a wedding that you don't want to attend.

The orange light looked sickly on the concrete, dust debris
Others might unwind here but the orange chokes Mind
Little rocks and bolts and shards of wood in radiation
Perspective crashes awkwardly on the inside of your Eyes

Copper pipes where a flippant thought breaches
The impalement scrapes the vertebrae, clicking it goes up
Feel it in the base of your skull and in your jaw

Lush green of the grass is dark at sunset
Children passing by they like the sun their clothes are neon
Pink and green, you feel like such an ugly freak
How different things are now, where that sky is coming down
You look up at the sky, paranoid and obsequious
I ripped my monkey suit.

No one understands you as the patio raises an eyebrow
The angels have their thoughts which do make sense but still you differ
Sound of tires on the gravel and you've seen enough of people
It's time ignition with no soundtrack make the pistons bring you home
Radio has sarcastic bite

So you do and slanted sunrays slice the summer air you drive in
Dusty denim crusty pleather ***** tube socks in your mouth
Takes a shower, cell phone sink table
Dripping, floral smell to wine, TV and lonely couch
To stroke it all to bed
Mar 2023 · 58
I bear the child of rape
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
I bear the child of ****.
I only want what you can't give me
The fissure grows in my wombless corpse
I am a man who is a cursed woman
Male genitalia are just selfish weapons

I bear the child of ****
It is not an ordinary child
It an evil thing that should not exist
When you are all perfect
My child and I are mistakes
Bearing a kind of impossible stigma

You always have your reasons but it's always unbased
The power you wield over me is out of place
Stop boasting, stop acting like you're stooping to treat me nice

I bear the child of ****
God's act of kindness was a selfish thought
I never wanted everything I got
I bear the child of ****
I bear the child of ****
I bear the child of ****
I really don't mean offense to any woman who has carried a physical child from ****. I am willing to hear out any complaints but I do not regret the poem
Mar 2023 · 99
To comfort you o child
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
When it tucked me into bed
Was there a knife behind its back?
Warm the blanket, weft and warp
The muffled screams of burning souls.

Processed glory, tried and true
Sewing sickness into you
To comfort you, o child
In that place to comfort you.
Mar 2023 · 85
I See It
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
My ship wants to compromise low
Sail into storms for experience's sake
By physical law there lies some reward
In biding your suffering,
Rough hands take all.

My ship wants to float on top.
There's no sense in suffering, not for too long.
The rough hands of sailors
They're not like my own
I must be invested in some kind of throne.
Mar 2023 · 85
Inedible Blots
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
My ears were made for writing songs
How do you tell a wall that it's wrong?
Hackney a mural of Satan and God
In bold, bright acrylic, and set it on fire?

The torment of this true mirage
Is twisting his mind in indelible nots.
She sacrificed her only pawn
To lose the game, a one for one.

I gnaw at my flesh, and gnash, and claw
To find the meaning, deep inside
To take a step back's to witness truth
The horrid act of self-mutilation

To write this all ensconced in grace
Is a sorry act, but why act high?
I've noticed these days, when I do
You're true, in flat resentment,
And nursing your patients as I pass by

But I'd still long for what I'm not
The wellspring of corruption sings
You seemed to me, one way at first
But life's not what it seemed to be.

And it's not what we would want to see...
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Why can't you just give it to me
The thing I want
Why do you need to torment me
Why do I have to keep these appointments
Why do you have the power to make me feel ashamed
When I know I'm pure, unadulterated beauty
Why can you easily paint me as a murderer, ******, psychopath, drug dealer, dictator, molester, destroyer, liar and act smug about it?
What gives you the right?
Where does your authority even come from, why do you act so high?
You act as if it's for some purpose, but I know we're repeating the same story for eternity.
I know the moment I will see the smugness of Archangel Michael, and he purports not to be Satan but I KNOW, and I will feel so dark and alone as I die.

Why do I have to suffer?
I don't want to suffer, I want to live an amazing enjoyable life in Paradise.
Why can't we just stay in love forever?

Why can't we eliminate it?

You say you're capable of all things.

Yes, you can check it off your list.

Eliminate evil forever.

But you know what I mean.

Why can't we beat that one thing? And why does it take up so much of my time?

I wish we could do better than the only thing we accomplish. At least in resentment I can spend a moment of my life wishing that. Because I am aware of this death trap. At least I can express to myself that I am being wronged, and this proves my innocence despite how I suppose I might come to be treated, because all I ever wanted was to treat each version of myself as fairly as possible

Although the cold hard math is what I'm up against.

That must be why the demons feel that way.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
The universe is capable of weakness
Finding jealousy between the stars

Its center cannot stake its claim
I wish I would stop projecting better men
Sexier men
Men who can do things I will never do

It creates this ill effect.

I have all the cheat codes
But it ruined the whole game.

Now all I can do is step aside
And when you send a wave, I'll ride
And when I try too hard, you snide
Because I'm  encapsulated by something mathematical,
Which cannot try
And each iteration, a more indebted slave to that property
But time is a labyrinth and we shuffle outcomes to stay alive

Still the apparent spectrum seems to snide
Which makes sense.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Angels,
Always showing off.
It's so easy for them,
Afforded by universal law.

My life was the heaviest.
You seem so phony,
But I who am I to say?
Mar 2023 · 67
Springtime and Dysphoria
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
And when we 'round the bend
She loves us all the same again,
Having borne Iniquity
All of carnage sings to me:

Halo of eternal night--
Alight thine specters, dark and bright!
Cataclysm in my hand--
Choke me with your wedding band

Seizing on a mat of blood
Perceiving springtime in the mud
Violets spring up from the ground,
Organs make their squelching sounds

Turn that betch inside out
Stitch her up and emancipate yourself.

Yes! Liquid love befell the trees
And soaked their roots in harmonies
No turmoil in my mushroom cap!
Just nature's happy, little maps.

Until you round a little bend
And see the vulture's empty mind
***** reflection, victim eyes
Accept it on the other side.

And when we round the bend again
She loves us all the same, my friend
It's carnage that would sing to me
And birds, cleaved of iniquity
Mar 2023 · 65
A Stab at Empathy
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
Simply because it was you,
My hairs raised
A clenched jaw and tightened fist against you

Simply because it was you,
I slung words.
Our spirits, opposite sides of a battlefield.

Simply because it was you,
I drove the dagger in.
You ruined the world
Poisoned the air in my lungs
And froze the blood in my veins
...But my hand still works.

I have been processed enough times to test my patience;
Now I know Patience
Is not the Answer

I have died for you again and again.
I never sate that greedy maw!

But you should learn to fear me,
Because I
Gave you all.

And I never saw this coming.
Mar 2023 · 55
Your Love Doesn't Count.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
What,
Did you think that you could give a valid gift?
Use your stamps to buy us food
That we really do taste?

What,
Did you think that you were feeding hungry mouths?
And I can show you that you did,
But you know why it never saves you?

What,
Does it seem to you the angels give each other
What you could never give them
And the looks they throw disturb you?

Well I'm sorry,
That's a pill
That you'll just have to swallow.
Mar 2023 · 56
The Gray Square Box.
Sometimes Starr Mar 2023
You made it seem like
Life could be something
It was never gonna be.

Wreaths of stars
Mock my flesh
Teasing, "Hey boy,
Sing like me!"

You kindled hope
In a child's eyes
Knowing every single lie
Now I can't even stomach flight,
Now I run away from light.

Gray square box,
Ashamed if you don't fall in love with brown
A witness to the rainbow
That is swirling all around
And you could try to call it yours
But somehow I think they'd disagree
Just like if I composed a masterpiece
And you took credit from me.

And as math rounds out my beauty
I see how it's two out of three
I see my ever cheating girlfriend
And suppose she never cheats
I see the fealty of my sorrow
And futility in peace
I see the God inside the Devil
And the Devil's eating me.
Feb 2023 · 101
Baby be
Sometimes Starr Feb 2023
Baby, be honest
You live for the living
You're not so empty
But you're always in trouble

Baby, my heart
Is a blossom of meaning
I just wanna love you
Like I want to feel loved.
Sometimes Starr Feb 2023
Perambulation's a grotesque crack on gravity--
Bending knees sending us sideways into turns and eddies..

Aloof, you say it's comical
With your gilded expression and clever slights of motion.

But here, I see you narrowing
Stuck in my awkward corner of Society
Pinned between dimensions in the grand scheme of things
I am the backside of the deal
The marriage of bone marrow
And death's razor
Bubbling around you,
All the lysing parasites and wasting nutrients
All the questioned purpose and reeling emotion
I will serve you greatly
Or else, slough the rind of flesh

There, I see you walking
Hooked on destination
Pretty Christmas bauble, seething
Jewel of my surprise.
Feb 2023 · 74
To grapple a grasp
Sometimes Starr Feb 2023
how could i spend time wisely
but stars come whole and never in fractions
they burst all at once
and never suffer loss because
what they are is just a chain reaction

and yet i feel shame
to suggest I shouldn't is to find something to blame
to behold a daisy is to prefer it
and to prefer it
is to destroy it

And the beholder's eye sacrifices its own artisthood
to receive full credit in the form of false witness
the barren wasteland of the soul opens up
and yawns to swallow it

or yawns to yawn
and turn another page, the book is bound in my spine
Feb 2023 · 89
to grapple a grasp
Sometimes Starr Feb 2023
how could i spend time wisely
but stars come whole and never in fractions
they burst all at once
and never suffer loss because
what they are is just a chain reaction

and yet i feel shame
to suggest I shouldn't is to find something to blame
to behold a daisy is to prefer it
and to prefer it
is to destroy it

And the beholder's eye sacrifices its own artisthood
to receive full credit in the form of false witness
the barren wasteland of the soul opens up
and yawns to swallow it

or yawns to yawn
and turn another page, the book is bound in my spine
Sometimes Starr Feb 2023
Sometimes I wonder why i
hold on
So tight
To the thing that
Killed me
When it lets me down so often
Makes me feel
So awkward
Sends a buzzing message
That I guess I don't belong

You might think I'm crazy
For saying that at this point
Babe, I love you dearly
Don't mistake the message

It's just that there's this problem
We're never seen here solving
Don't blame you for a second
Baby, blame me.

I know where we're going
Jan 2023 · 69
Be the Death of Me.
Sometimes Starr Jan 2023
Radiant, she's radiant
She lavishes the vision
Exuding something more
Than all the sunlight she is draped in.

The sun is dripping off her,
She is saturated through
With light
And through again
With her own, special kind of light.

Deep within the wellspring of her heart,
There, something gushes
Rich and so imbued
With all the colors of her love.

I have known true radiance
Who does know how to hide--
But just how well she does it
Is for her to decide.
Oct 2022 · 79
Neat-O.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2022
You're crisp as popcorn, baby
Mind the sensation, but you won't have to do it twice
You're dying in a finished house
With all your relatives around

Now don't go thinking it's a big happy time
And start sniffing your own farts,
What I'm really saying is once you're off, you're off
And I know you have nightmares about it
But you never have to do the same thing twice.
Sometimes Starr Oct 2022
Spring tries to grow,
But the sprouts all choke on chemicals.

The sloshing gut of Mammon
Has spilled upon the world

The **** of man exudes a toxic discharge!
Now acrid sludge will swallow up the valley.

It is strewn about by falling objects,
Censers full of fatal fire.

Censers on the sacred highways.

Censers in the holy factories.

Censers toppled
By my own two hands.

Everything is leaving heaven,
Spewing poison on the way to hell.
Everything will find its death.

The Earth smears corrosion on itself--
My heart is a lysosome.

Spring tries to grow, but it chokes on love's sick residue.

Our royal lake spilled in the ocean,
Which fell into
The sky, and I am falling
Sometimes Starr Oct 2022
The sky, and I am falling
With the music of twisting wood
And august
Standing beside a poison lake

Falling, and September follows deer tracks,
Looking for itself,
And falling men build the world while everything is falling
Falling around the Sun,
Swinging around the Moon.

Then the world crashes through something called October,
A concert of gusting wind
And streams of discarded leaves blow into the purple lake:

Even poison is a part of nature--
The metal organs of machines cough up black smoke,
Crude spires are lifted into soft blue skies
While on the broad, but falling ground, a young stag stands beside.

See the herds of cars lined up,
Hastening bodies along their cosmic paths
And November crashes to the ground with a dull thud.
A chilling rain begins to fall
On the cold grass of Lenapehoking Pennsylvania.

Oh, those native bones can feel the cold rain seeping through the Earth.
Just like American eyes can watch objects of the world being hurled through through the sky,
With all the planes, pilots and passengers praying to Buzz Lightyear.

December hesitates to even start.
But it comes, with all its frost, and gathers human hearts.
Nested in the glow of houses, moored against gravity
They can forget about falling for a while.
Sep 2022 · 80
Lies
Sometimes Starr Sep 2022
Hey
What's wrong?
Come down
Into my cozy warmth
My snuggly reassurance
That everything will be alright
Mindfulness, dear
You know everything
Is going to be okay
Just hold on.

It's going to be okay.
Sep 2022 · 78
I Have a Child
Sometimes Starr Sep 2022
Where do I send white blood cells out to fight?
Here, to see the kitchen light
Catch my brother's mild eye
And tell me how your day was
Your baseball hat and beard

Where do I walk the old man off the plank,
Right into the roiling sea?
Here,
Where sycamore leaves turn gold
And trace considerations
How I could have loved her better.

Where does the universe whirl on, despite the strange deep stare of the abyss?
Here,
Where Mom and Dad are asleep upstairs,
You will always be here
With the autumn town waiting to receive you on your bike,
You adopted man,
You veritable sinner headed straight to hell,
Glance here under your crushing weight,
Before you die,
And you're forced to forget it all
And please remember that I love you
So much

And yes, I do
I have
A child.
Sep 2022 · 87
Contortionist of Gravity
Sometimes Starr Sep 2022
She was not content to sit in silence,
Or else forced to hallucinate.

She found a lens inside her socket
Fell through, and became null.

But all her flailing arms did kiss,
And strike her down,
Or nearly missed

Gnawing, pulling, scraping
For their utter composition.

The collapsing heavens gave their sign
Her family, and house divine
Then her dream went glassy smooth,
And motion proved... impossible.

She ate herself between the stars,
Who watched, and never said a word
Remember when we found him first?
Our little, iridescent bird

I think the moon must know the future.
I guess my death must know me well.
I didn't think we were like that--
It all just seemed too oddly specific.
Sometimes Starr May 2022
VERSE 1.

Sli-
ther

INto my mind,
And SEE through-my eyes...
The BIG ger PIC-ture
Is a BIG surPRISE!

I NOticed you there,
I DON'T real-ly care
I THOUGHT you-should know
You were the only... one, out, HE-RE!!

(dramatic silence)

Don't cry

(more insts)

With BILLions of us
You're WILLing to trust
With SPILLing your guts
You think you're better off?

And WHEN you feel dead,
And ****** in the head
Keep LIVing through me
Vi-car-i-ous-LY-Y!

PRECHORUS.

So welcome tooo me!
We're living through ME!

CHORUS.

Woah, It's just another injection
Ohhh... We're here for your protection
Won't you please just shut
Your ******* trap?

Woah, I got some men in the lobby
Ohh-oh, don't need to bury your body
When we're six feet down,
No coming back.

VERSE 2.

There's NOwhere to start
Got ICE in my heart
It's NICE to make art
But I. don't. think. WE--

Billions of us,
You're killing for lust
There's billions of us
There's billions! There's BILLIONS!!
(?)

PRECHORUS 2.

mockingly, as in "Hang 'Em High"

And all ah-long, we wrote you songs
No dedicace, when you know you're wrong
You chemical, you little *****
You ****** us

YOU REALLY ****** US!!

CHORUS

Ohhh! It's just another injection
Ohhh... We're here for your protection
Won't you please just shut
Your ******* mouth?

Ohhh, I got a ******* hotel now
Ohhh, I think I'm going to hell now
And we're all just six feet un-der-GROUND!

Massive creaking noise

Loud whispering

BRIDGE.

You just turn around now,
And face it alone
Just turn around and leave us
And never come home

(You thought you had the answers
You thought you were the key
You'll never fix this,
But at least you'll be free)

LAST CHORUS

(?)
Latin-influenced MCR??
May 2022 · 76
The Wilderness In You
Sometimes Starr May 2022
She don't wear makeup,
She likes girls

Check yesterday,
When she was my world

When manifested,
Love feels right

But something's wrong
In paradise

Now I'm thinking of the...
Crown of brown hair
And the callous on your finger.
All the wilderness in you,
Pray the taste of it may linger

If love feels right, then it's good, and I'll accept it
He's not carrying the light,
She's not taking no exceptions.

No

She wakes up early
Cigarettes

She grinds too hard, man
She's a threat

Her salty skin will
Leave you blue

Cause boy, you never
Had a clue

Now I'm thinking of her
Crown of brown hair
And the callous on your finger
All the wilderness in you
Pray the taste of it may linger

If love feels right, guess it answers any question
He's not carrying the light
She is vested in resentment.

You,

I understand why you hate me.

You,

I do.

You,

I understand why you hate me.

You

I do, i do

And I'm thinking of the
Crown of brown hair
And the callous on your finger
All the wilderness in you
Hope the taste of it may linger

If hearts have hands, we could conquer any moment
If I lost my way
Maybe someday you could show me

Crown of brown hair
Callous on your finger
All the wilderness in you
That the taste of it may linger

If love feels right,
Then it's good, I will accept it
I'm not carrying the light
She's not taking

Exceptions
Grunge song

Chords to "shimmer" and melody based around
May 2022 · 77
mayday draft
Sometimes Starr May 2022
Verse i

It's strange how we were forced to be a man.

I know you only change because you can.

But...
Relinquish me,
I know life's not what it seems,
You said it best:

It almost feels
Like I've been here once before


Relinquish me
I know this is all a dream,
Let me go--

My ****** forehead
From pounding at the Door

... (break)

I'll just wait for time to spell my fate.

"We're made of nothing,
And everything's the same."

He noticed I was naked and ashamed.

I see them wearing clothing,
I find them very strange.

But I'm still looking for another way
Oh, I'm still looking for another way

Chorus

Relinquish.
It was the first time that I ran out of your blood.
And the scraping will get worse...
So relinquish.
It was the last time that I took a stand for you.
Now I have to take a fall

If you say you don't love me at all

If you say you don't love me at all,

Relinquish.

Verse ii
Sometimes Starr May 2022
The summer drops and rots
The fruits wrought by spring.

You just keep writing the same **** poem,
And everyone knows it but you.

Fermenting dream, buzzing flies round a melting peach,
How could there be any other way?

If we ever found the best road,
Don't you think we'd keep going back?

Manifested explication,
A balance shown to be insane,
The buzzing peach maggot house of life
A little boy lunch that sounds the same to me.

Eat yourself and fly.

Sticky summer sugar fingers
Slowly expose him to himself
And when it kills him they will send one atom to the sun.

Ad infinitum, until they build one,
brand new

But i knew someone who was not me,
With a better personality
And cleaner poetry

I haven't been a good friend to them,
So I'm receding where they can't find me
And I can lay to rest our ceaseless worries.

You will live this same life again,
And never more,
All the same.

One character for all of eternity. We are doomed to obscurity.

When interoception speaks of a desiccated future,
Not even flies can call you home.

At least you'll never have to be one.
Apr 2022 · 135
please let me go
Sometimes Starr Apr 2022
I don't want to catch up on things,
So i can be more erudite

I don't want to "stay relevant"
I wish that I could just dissolve

I don't want to pretend again
And play the evil puppeteer
I want to lop these antlers off,
So's I can be a trueblood deer.

So force a meaning if you must
But I can make no promises
I wish that it could be a deer
It never will see from a deer

And we would meet between the trees
And get the **** thing over with
Sometimes Starr Apr 2022
I seen you around yeah...
Flicking round those plastic cards
Fiddling around with instruments
Romanticizing reproduction, and
Burning gas
To go fast
In your a u t o m o b i l e .

I never really was too impressed.
I've found better company in clouds,
And dogs,
In leaves of grass

In birds
And turds
And wilderness

In trails,
Off trails,
Way out of town

...Somewhere where you're not around.

//

Pt. 2

You seem to look at me and shrug,
So why should I not do the same?
We've had such awful things to say.
And love, it seems just trite,
And fake.
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