you're the drug i can't detox
you're the blood i can't draw
you've made me the puppy in the box
and this is something he saw.

you're the cramp in my side
the pain comes back when mentioned
you're the ghost of the girl who died
haunting the bad-intentioned

you're an attitude of everything i need
i've got an attitude of craving
you've told me i've been defeated
but my heart is worth saving

i thought deposits would make room
in case i need to withdrew
but was wrong to assume
we couldn't be robbed out of the blue

i've torn myself down
to repay my debts and dues
yet it seems i can only drown
in the conspicuity of your cues

i once dreamt of an earth*
where the blue skies weren't my mind
to you i had worth
your empathy was something i could find

whenever you walk my way
the butterflies come back
i don't know what to say
the lines to heal us are what i lack

my temples pound
my throat aches
your anger is the only sound
my words get lost & my mouth cakes

I cannot back out from this
you're the drug i relapse on
your smile is something i miss
my security is gone

I don't want to believe this is real
cant convince myself you're no more
without your help i just can't feel
you don't need the help of a *****

Remorse is something i dont possess
I deserve this pain
it's impossible to be anything less
because our happiness has is slain.

maybe one day the explosive anger you've drawn out of me will subside and the blaze i've set will turn to ashes. maybe one day i'll be able to glance your way without thinking of who else has. maybe one day i'll stop going through our pictures, reminiscing and wondering where it all went wrong. maybe one day i'll listen to that mix tape you made for me without wondering if you still sing along to every verse of your favorite song on the track list.

but, soon enough, I will be happy again. soon enough, i will find solace in being independent. soon enough, i will accept the fact that this did, in fact, happen. i will be okay with that. soon enough, i will not think back upon the things you did to me and feel anger rise from the pit of my stomach.

soon enough, i will look back and thank you for teaching me lessons i had yet to learn until now.

soon enough,
i will be okay.

t.m.

the gun is on fire
my heart is on target
sitting on a fence of barbed wire
i don't want to forget

i know i hurt you
why does one mistake
destroy my love for you
and outweigh the comprises i made for your sake

i hope your friend is proud
if she was real she'd stay away
her jealousy was so loud
well she finally got her way

many said you never treated me right
i was trying to come clean
my sanity was an enemy in your sight
how can you be so mean

you implanted so much fear
i don't know what would tempt her
my cries for help you couldn't hear
in a love based around your temper

don't tell me i shouldn't use alcohol
where else i have to turn
all i needed was a call
something to heal these burns

i'm not sorry because i got caught
i'm sorry because you cried
you had less than i sought
but you were everything i sought

if you really cared you'd try
if you really cared you'd fight
you wouldn't want to make me die
****, i'm sorry. goodnight.

Hold me back
before i do something i'll regret
before i turn my whole world black
help me, before my mind is set

life is but a torment
without my sense of security
where has my stability went
my inner purity

stop this ******* ridicule
stop it all at once
before i cant cool
about this, i wont be on the fence

shut up when i'm talking to you.
dont push me, ******* *****
i can turn you
into the person who doesn't exist anymore.

Trudging along with a sigh of regret
Living life through ridicules
If there be an answer, find it
We need a way to break this social net
We need to walk on water without getting wet

Self-pity is not it
Adolescence is not our diagnosis
It's something more than tears
We have the wit
To know our shoes cannot be fit

A brain is more than water
Ours are wired to be darkened
It's a constant migraine
Our sanity will be a slaughter
Our mistakes will be my daughters

A soul is more than a ghost
It can burn with a passion
Freeze like a snowfall
It can be the best host
Or it can be lifeless at most

Eyes are keys to humanity
Whether blue, black, green, or brown
They do not tell a lie
Whether the truth be insanity
Or the sight be vanity

We are told we are nothing
We try the hardest
We cry the hardest
We "are never going to be something"
We are everything.