Remember when we sat under the street lights?
When we never understood where we were,
We liked to pretend that everything was fine,
Remember when we looked up at the stars and stared a while?
Just as young and dumb as we are now,
I wish that I had that courage to say "stay."
Remember when we lied about our feelings?
Thinking we liked anyone else but each other,
Singing songs about the forest and forestry greens,
Swear to God I could regret that kiss,
I need it back, I want it back, Please let me have it again?

Charismatic man in a velvet chair,
Drinking wine from people's heads,
A divine dine on smooth manipulation,
Raised his gun to your hearts and he's killed you all.

Birthed into abuse and grown into faith,
Singing songs of his own wraith,
Walked to the edge and threw the ring,
Deception into nightmares.

Eyes of charcoal grey,
You won't find anyone else like him,
Running his hands through a black dove's feathers,
He has no sympathy for your tears.

Take his eyes off of his face,
Blind to the world and it's beauty,
Covered in fake roses until he is laid in his deathbed,
He's not trying to lie to you, just convince you of stranger things.

The trees seemed to close in on me as I laid in the middle of a clearing, my eyes staring up at the star-filled sky above. My breathing ragged from running to this secluded spot in the woods.
I felt the prickly pine cones under my back, letting silent tears run down my ink-stained face.
I had fought too hard, I wrote everything that I could have possibly done.

“Sing me down from the sky,” I sang to the sky, “All the way from death’s ledge. ” My chest felt heavy, whether it was my asthma or my anxiety didn’t matter anymore. I felt the scars on my wrist itch again, underneath my skin in a way I couldn’t relieve.
The trees were shadows, I could consider them demons but they really aren’t, they’re my home.
The only place I can feel satisfied with who I am.

I spent so many nights lingering in this forest, thinking the cure would be here. A mission for a purpose that would be found inside my head. Of course, I sometimes forget that my head is the most dangerous place to be.
I sat up and pulled my notebook out of the ground, along with a glowing pen. A symbol of my pent up creativity.

Maybe by writing a few poems, I’ll feel better about myself. I know that it won’t work, I need more. I need to have a name for myself, even if it’s just a few people. I want to sing to the forest and watch it sway in joy instead of pity.

I imagine myself on a stage made of bent over trees, the bark is slippery but I’m able to stand.
The people surround me, they are calling all our names. So, the ground holds me up, as I sing my heart out onto the makeshift microphone. My voice echoes and bounces through the greens, I’m finally outside my head, I’ve made it through every night and stood in a place I thought I never would.

Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. I wake up, my eyes once again looking towards the sky.
Again, words begin to spill out of my mouth in a tune, “I talk to myself and the dark grey sky beyond…”
Nothing answers, as per usual. It’s okay, I reassure myself, I don’t need a voice.
I wrap my hands in leaves and pretend that it’s a disguise.

Suddenly- I am home. My ceiling fan above me, whirring softly. My pen and paper laying on my chest. The night was sinking in and I am just as scared as I was the last night...

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of blank pages,
and empty promises.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of burning trees,
and what we see.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Of sudden changes,
and futures mangled.

we're all afraid,
So afraid,
Denying is proof,
and I won't take it back.

Make room,
Cause I'm hopping on,
The Amtrak,
Headed to wherever I may go.

Whether I'll be dead within two years,
Or maybe I'll be living mediocrely, boringly.
If dreams really came true then I'd be onstage,
Singing out the times I wanted to cry and die.

Make room,
Cause I'm not waiting for you,
My friends have all gone,
I don't know where they went but I'm doing just fine.

Maroon blood on bathroom floors,
Is all I can see at night,
Makes me wonder where I'll be alive, tomorrow.
Well, don't stop me now.

Make room,
Cause you're not part of this,
I've got things to see and things to do,
Don't control me,
Just make room.
Just make room.

In the pouring light, singing songs of my delight.
Remembering times come to pass, a display in the blue grass.
Parting ways with my day, nothing left to say.
Otherwise, I'd be dead, how else will they be fed?
One charm and left too soon, under the bright red moon.
Heres lies my debt, conjuring what I had met.
Things don't seem as fair, sit down in a woven green chair.
I forget what I lost, but I know that they already crossed.
Lied to me, why couldn't you leave me be?
I never loved you, So I threw my other shoe.
Into the river where I died. Where I lay.

Burn my bones and burn my skin,
Burn the holy cross at my feet,
Gather all the roses and purge me of my sin,
With thorns upon my ankles won't you save me now?
With every moment ticking,
I remember that I want to die and sing.
Burn my voice and burn my lungs,
Burn the holy dirt at my feet,
Gather all the thorns and place them on the throne,
With knives inside my head, I plead for mercy.
I don't believe.
Im sorry.
I just don't believe.
No matter how much I want to.