You wrote me poems
Beautiful ones with such good words
I even felt something every now and then through your poems
However you always forgot to be like in the poems
You forgot to love me like you did in the poems
You said words like "I'm in love" and "you mean the world to me"
But you're 18
And you think like  13
I'm 19
And I feel 30
You wrote the poems
And I allowed the poems to live in me
You didn't
You wrote them because that's the only thing that you were good at
-S.A.M.M

the moon competes with the sun
just like I competed with her long black hair
her piercing eyes that looked like the ocean
and the sky when I would wake up early

I watched the way you looked at her when you thought no one was watching
but I kept an eye out
every time I felt the hairs on my neck stand up

I questioned you about her
you said it was nothing
you told me she was your best
and you’ve known her forever
that nothing would happen
because you knew better

you said you liked her as much as I liked peppers
I used to hate peppers

but I guess things change

I now eat peppers

I’m still getting used to them

and you’re still calling me at 4 AM
asking if I like the taste
and I’m wondering if you really learned to love her

Just like my throat my eyes feel red
Just like you my heart is cold
You talk but you don't listen
You do but you don't finish
Sometimes, I wonder
And sometimes I wish
Do you enjoy it?
What do you get from hurting my feelings?
Over and over I ask myself
How could my mother break my heart more than any lover?
How could the woman that I am to depend on for comfort, love, and stability make feel so lost in this world?
I used to wish for a better me
Maybe if I was funnier, maybe if I wasn't so sensitive
Maybe
But I'm not the problem never have been, it's you
And I want to thank you
For never letting your arms be warm with love for me
For never knowing what words to say without making me hate my life
For never having my back
For never allowing me to look up to you
For leaving me no other choice than to stand for myself, than to hug myself,  than to give myself love, and comfort
No other choice than to stop being a kid
No other choice than to stop loving you
No other choice than to be independent
But just like my throat my eyes feel red
And just like you my heart is cold

We all try to be so different
Oh your hair is blue?
Well then I'll dye mine green
Oh you like Drake?
Well I love J.Cole  
We disagree just to be the same
We compete just to feel like we both lost
So who has actually won?
A generation
Filled with lost souls
But together we are one
Copies of each other
That's what we are
You are me
I am you
What's the difference?
What's your difference?
-S.A.M.M

Am I a woman?
Am I alive?
Am I important?
Am I enough?
These questions
These bad dreams
These thoughts
Who am I ?
But who was I?
-S.A.M.M