Defiance will risk its entire existence for its own survival.

The clarity in my reflection,
feelings ripple in the water
as they wade through my being
and paddle me in motion
like petals floating in the wind.
Rising and falling,
drawing a fourth dimension
through a parallel within.
I love and want,
want, but doubt that I should get now.
I get that I should want
but restraint keeping me in check now.

When waves are tsunamis
I overtly stress,
show that I cope
but I covertly test and
hope that you don't see
that I openly digress.

Mirky waters
and ***** waves
stir the lake,
it's a stormy day.
Hazy mist
so no reflection,
turbelent water
turns my waves
in random action.
So while I look energetic
i'm actually stagnant.

Funneling all my energy
into the storm
because I learned that from turbulence
still waters are born

I step out from my little house
in the forrest and look at my reflection in the lake.
The sandstorm within is slowly dwindling
down like the little petals in the wind.
I sit down when clarity returns right as my smile begins.

Hello old friend... it's been a while..
You wanted to experience me again?
Well yes, although I can't deny that I regret this decision.
However you're a part of life and I should at the very least acknowledge that.
You've always been a strange one..
I just wanna try and see if it works. It's difficult though.
Well, I'm rather complicated don't you think?
That's also what makes you interesting, being a part of me I don't quite understand. How are you feeling?
Well I'm rather happy, it's been a while since you gave me this much space to occupy.
I don't want to supress you, I just want to be at peace with you.
I don't
And that's where our conflict lies. I acknowledge you as a part of me but I need you to acknowledge that you are also just a part. This power struggle is senseless. It doesn't hold in line with your needs as well.
And what do I need if you understand me that well?
I don't know.. self love?
Haha! Are you ******* kidding me?
Which is exactly my point. Why hate yourself?
Because that's what I am
An extension of my emptiness and therefore nonexistent.
Harsh words
You're a harsh man.
Judging you is my job
And that's what I wanted to experience again.

We both laughed.

I will always be against you, every step of the way
Then I will acknowledge you as a part that's there to make me stronger, to make me grow.  

*Good luck

Plunge from the seat of humanity
in the chasms within abyss
Rip out my limbic system
and **** that parasitic sibling
without giving him an inkling
Rip out my senses, it's sickening
untill all that's left is a nervous system
Inject liquid anxiety that twists my reality
to standing in a mist of damp from parasitic fungi
Shower in liquid methane
cool my mellow heart
the bane of my existence
until it stops and all goes dark
and when I walk on a harrowed path
All hollow, lost..
cut me with a razor blade on every thought I make
Slice all my veins but don't let me fade away
Put my tongue in chains
And tear this kindness from my face
**** every mask I make
Punish me for my past mistakes
Free me from the kindness and the love I have today
So I can tear down this seat of my humanity
And Come back to the comfort of the darkest place

I feel like I'm standing on the precipice
Another leap of faith
Another leap in the dark
Another trust fall

Facing the choice of self-belief
To persue a different path
with hardships to endure

Do I dare persue this passion?
Does my heart point in this direction?
I listen.. and calm my self.

Deafening winds on the mountain
I stand
I climbed high
I came from far

I grab my gear
and pack my experience

I smirk
ofcourse I'll jump

Because the difference now is.
that my brothers are waiting for me.

I took a dive..
A little too deep
and now I miss the ground
from under my feet

I come up and gasp for air

The taste of salty defeat
gritted between my teeth

My heart is pounding
My bones are throbbing
enveloped by the chill of the sea
I am shocked and in awe
emerging in the silence of the storm

in a cloudy night before dawn

*"It's time to go."

Succumb to a place of light
Because the dark is comfortable,
Safe even,
The familiar feeling of lingering regret and failure
the wobbly walk of the night, supressing tears in self induced despair
Promises to others are more easily upheld than promises to yourself
Self sacrifice is a sad character.
Running away from those feelings of conflict is cowardice.
Running your mouth about loyalty now?
You lie, betray and manipulate on a daily basis.
You lie to your God, the one being truly capable
of changing your loyalty, the path you're bound to..
is you, sinner.
so..
Succumb to light

I peeled off my faces
with voices and expressions
to try to come to terms with sadness,
my development was heart agression

Questions filled with tears and doubt
thoughts filled with fear, it clouds

storm heavy, torn every
face from my body into a Skin Leather Jacket

My brain a smoked Onion Head
so all my heart could do was crack
tears trickled down
numbing my body like life "handed" a smack

Woke up groggy and slow
in the midst of a storm
Feeling foggy and old
stitched up and worn

Use my jacket as a blanket
as I lie in the eye of the storm
as I rest and transform
bare and naked
wholehearted again
as a man with many faces.

I struggle with
broken
yet wholesome thoughts
as I feel the pain
of that very contradiction

lines of progress intertwine
like our bodies
but I crave
double helix through life
a dance, fundamental,
seperate, yet connected
parallel, yet revolving
around eachother

is what I crave fair?
is what I need just?
Or do I need to double-helix
my feelings and thoughts?

I have changed
and you are changing
each to move more to be ourselves
and once that process is complete
Will we still match?
Or will we dance to
a different beat?

Serene views..
Way past curfew
Lucas Arruda
and the sweet
sound of the waves
softly landing ashore
fusing with the music
and landscape
relaxing the space

A cool breeze cruises  through
like soft emotions moving you
the gentle rustling of the leaves
providing a complete symphony
the Palms sway in harmony
with the waves on the beach

The soft whisper of burning wood and fire
Shadows bobbing on the sand
and the stars flickering light
bring a marvelous sight
the arm of the milky way
opening a view, seen far and wide
It's my blueprint of the world
but still it is a raw design

Stuck in your own circles of confirmation
Facebook-algorithms inspired from
your circled ignorance
Peel off all your words
and all that's left
is a question in regards of your own acknowledgement
seeking affirmation of your own existence
a deep desire for your true self to be seen by others
yet you keep on hiding it
subliminally and subconciously showing it
in your own incongruent behavior
over and over and over and over

do you have any idea
how ******* annoying it is
to hear someone being stuck on repeat?

go look at yourself in the ******* mirror.
cuz I'm done repeating myself.
Seek your own answers.

Ooh Old One, yet so young
Whose habits are etched into my body
Emotional scars, physically invisible
You can't see, but you could feel..

Place your hand on my lower back
Run your hands up and down my neck
Feel my calves, thighs,
shoulders, everything still so tight

Yet my mind is light
my smile is genuine

Hardships are guided
for a safe landing inside me
Tears run down my cheek
Close my eyes and see

All kinds of me,
Sadness, Happiness, Anger,
all running up to me
Smiling, greeting, consoling me,

So what I see
is that I need a soft home
For my inner family.

Perish in a world not yours
because you haven't made your world yours
drifting alone on a penteconter
one man, manning, fifty oars

A gold seeker in your golden world
Never to return to your city
Because all you do is seek
All you do is find
but you never acknowledge

In search for heaven on this world
You travel and travel,
meet people and people
Been everywhere, experienced elsewhere
Yet have never dared to travel
within yourself
The only place, truly worth to see

Why do people dare to skydive?
Go through the length of all such extremeties
but are so afraid to face themselves?
To find the calm inside the turblence?
Your world is yours.

Head in the clouds,
Feet on the ground,

No need for a mentality check
Comfortable in a blanket
and my anxiety wrap
I'm chill.
I'm good.

Got food for thought that'll last of days

A connectivity check
Emotions relaxed
breathing....in
smiling....out

Walking a steady pace
when "I hear a funky beat
The music is so heavy
It's going straight to my feet"

On this mellow brick road.

A death that was foreseen,
yet a consequence was not,
The end of pain and loss
was met with acceptance and love
and inspiration slipped from my grasp
and I tried all the tricks in the book
to keep my pen writing

And I wish it were as simple
as going out and buying a new pen
From what source do I draw out ink,
when on the road to selflove and acceptance?
When old questions and doubts
have met with answers and a clear path?

I used to talk and write
About being forgotten and lost
My path brought me to my knees
Did it not?
The poems were moments of
Silence...
...
And descriptions of the turbulence
Within
Of movement
Where I'd dig deeper

A dog
Eagerly looking for buried bones
In forgotten moments
That passed by within the blink of my inner eye

But never have I described
The walk I walk
Never have I shown you
My vulnerability
Because I love her as dearly
And protect her behind my masks
And silence

Maybe another time
A different poem
When I no longer fear your rejection
Maybe when I no longer crave your acknowledgement
But find fulfillment in my own

Will I show you
The wisdom of that small child inside me
Who carries a closed book titled potential
Maybe then..
Will I show you
For now I'll hide it in my words.

These hands have never written a word
a thought or a feeling.
They have never captured the essence.
Never reached the centre.
These hands will never shine.
What writes is only my heart
and mind.

If God brings true salvation
than Demons keep you alive.

Blade sheathed in despair
Forged from the heat of passionate hatred
Man melted with metal
smithing dealt death with every blow
Cold blood to cool steel
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

The vulnerability of Life
blood spatters
like pink leaves leaving the Sakura tree
Slow, as your life withers'n'witnesses
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Back'n'forth the Eb'n'Flow of blood
as life comes and goes
balancing on ropes
unseathed the wind blows
Fall'n'die, unfair
Your arrogance punished by
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Fail to witness, Fail to see
Fail to feel, Fail to flee
disposition to disharmony
Death doesn't cause a scene
Taken by
A heart you'd judge lost
but his wavers not.

I shout at the heart of my era
At my young age, 24, plus five O's Soul Old.
I scream at it's core
I rattle and shake
At memories that lie sleep
buried at ancient graves
Knowledge flying free
Ash scattered, my past remains, way past yesterday

I am my soul incarnate
just another form, just another life

and that's why I scream
that's why I fight

I am not "just" I am more
I am it and it is me

and I feel incomplete
because "it" keeps a large part of me asleep

Come with me
When present is ancient
And you are all but dusty bones and ash
I will hold you close like ink on my skin
Or a pendent on my neck
A finger that holds you in one of my thousand rings
I am sorry my love
For I will have many lovers
All which I would hold dear
All which I would give my heart
But my life would be my own
And all of you would come and go
But I will never forget
And I will remember when I will see you next
I will have a different name
Maybe a disguise, a bit of a different face
But my eyes will be the same
And my soul will remember your ancient name
Such is the path an immortal man should take.

Gaze upon the light I shed, my own.
Never wish it to be yours
because I deny you the right to claim my light as your own.
Feel free to take from others except my loved ones and we will have no quarrel, they stand outside the bounderies of my concern
But as an acquainted soul of many lives lived
I bring one final gesture from the thought of agreements, promises and alliances that we might have made in a long forgotten past
"Take light from others and you will never shine true"

If you decide to never shine
I hope living in my shadow will bring you comfort and warmth.
My back is strong and shoulders broad
my steps are firm, my intuition a star in the distant horizon
The bricks of my path cemented in unwavering resolve
I will walk
with Heaven in my heart
and fresh air in my lungs
A smile on my face
and kindness in my eyes
With strength build on love
and an inner glow
that is rooted within
the foundation of my soul

My voice fades...
Can you still hear me?
The masks are shattered.
The heart of Heartless
ripped out by it's own mask.

The pain is still..
I expected an eerie silence..
Or a merciless cold.
But I meet a loving warmth
with the subtle taste of tears as a response.

In this prison remains me.
Part of me left without letting me know.

The irony of iron bars..
it lingers with.. sadness still..
with pain and grief..
and silence..hesitant.. and insecure..

an abrupt end.
A shattered illusion
that was self imprisonment.

~ The convicted self.

"You already know everyone."

Turn pain into water
and drink it.
Let it rain on all those beautifull seeds
planted inside yourself.
Grow.
Create light in your mind
so the saplings can reach out and entangle within you
become fulfilled of yourself
and treat yourself with love, water and light.
But first, drink.

Let us return to riddles
Questions that the ancients asked
Puzzle pieces scattered underneath our ash
Little images of a path
Recollections of a distant past
Bones of forgotten wrath
And skulls with a malicious laugh
This I ask
Let us be reduced to ash.
Let us return to past
End our path
Show thy wrath
And we'll greet the future with a malicious laugh

I don't need to search for myself.
I just need to accept that I'm already here.

I was an empty slate once
And young
Now I am filled with
With what exactly?
With what that makes up
My identity
With fragments that make up
The way I love
With what that attracts
And all those things that I discard
And all those things that I want
But don't have
That I'm worth
But beyond reach
And I sit
Upon dying grass
Selfishly for my own needs
They suffer a little bit more
I sigh
Because the slate that I am
Filled with unknowns and fragmentations
All long for balance and question and doubt
Every step I take
Wondering if it leads me closer or further
From the harmony
I unrealistically, desperately seek
Which I know will inevitably lead to the dead end and void that I still feel everyday

If life is drenched in death
Death is drenched in life

*a creepy disease
Incurable and merciless
It takes
Young and old
But never before birth

And all my loved ones
Are present when I come to pass
Souls that I have spanned hundreds of years with
I close my eyes and exhale
my last breath
As life takes me

So, I've been climbing for a good while now.
Actively climbing for 6 months and progressing quite fast.
Which is great. Before that I had hit a so-called rock bottom.
Now, I'm at a place which has a plateau, there's a bit more room here.
Got a couch and tv, which is ******* amazing.
A ladder leads up to the outside world, big and scary.
But you know..

I'm still struggling a bit with myself. Still need to do more mentally digging
but hey, at least I took that **** foot out of my grave.
Kinda wondering why I put it there in the first place but whatever. Details.

So yesterday I went outside, back to my old room to grab a flashlight.
Because I want to look down in the hole. It's so cramped in there I actually never got to see the bottom. So what the **** is there?

My stepdad got one of those police flashlights, the black iron ones.
I borrowed it, went back to my comfort zone and looked down the hole.
I couldn't see the bottom but what I could see was:
- Lack of acknowledgment
- Lack of assertiveness
- Disconnected from emotions

Which I knew, I've been there and I'm still working on those things.
But still feeling an obstacle, I've missed what those three things boil down to.
That answer should be at the bottom right?
So the next day I grabbed some binoculars and looked at the bottom.
rejection it said.

Wait what?

Oh **** no! Just.. no. Nooooo.. nope nope nope nope. I sat down on the couch. The monologue I had in myself was wild.

"So.. You're telling me that everything I do, my entire vision of harmony and connection with others and the behaviour that comes with it is a coping strategy to deal with the amount of rejection I have faced in my current life so far? Really?!
Wait hold up, how many times did I actually get rejected? Let's write this down.
...... okay, so the entire page is full.
How many people did I actually reject? Crap I can count that on one hand.
So I got rejected so many times that I reject nobody anymore because I know how much it hurts? Well yeah.. Well, how does that make you feel? What do you mean how does that make me feel? ******* ******, frustrated, angry, it's all a bunch of ******* *******. Memories of times when I got rejected come ******* flooding in like right at this exact rant.
Take a deep breath. *******. It's just too crazy. I reject myself the right to reject others. And now I gotta learn how to hurt people. Fu-cking. Pointless.
And that's exactly why you got to learn it. **** my life. Yep, you're ******.

And for you who read this. For the sake of myself.

Go **** a ****.

It all makes sense to me now.
Every circle I've been through.
Every loophole in my behavior identified.

But how to break this vicious cirkel of self neglect,
self medication and lack of self respect?

I burn incense, candles
and lay out tarot cards.
'
No answers, no clarity, not a slight hint from the universe.

Desperation sets in as I tumble deeper down the rabbit hole.
I'm looking for answers
but that is like looking for a glimpse to see what's under Alice her skirt.
Absolutely pointless.

I go round and round and round like I'm groveling in my own ***** and self pity.

And today I woke up.
And today I got the answer.



ALL HAIL CTHULU!

Shadows cast aside as I embark on a path to light
Close to truth as I ventured into the farthest lie
Beyond the eye, a view unfolds of a starless sky
Keep on walking I, part with my heart
my exhausted mind sends it to the darkness high.
A backpack filled with all these masks of mine
They mark a time from where I survived "This War of Mine"
Here I am just falling fine, cushioned by a thousand signs
A confounded mind bound to a boundless sky
Astounded that I am grounded, Crown the lie-
a King. A verse living that ventured into the Rhythm I should sing.
Flow.

One day everything leaves that you own
all blackness can't hear the sound of your soul
Back to square one, loophole
as you go round in a whole
senses tense sense a consequence that slowly unfolds
detached from the string of existence
enveloped in riches, drifting in lost ones wishes
you miss out on missing
a mingled fulfillment
a fullfilling fullfilment you left it all to your children
content with contentment
dreaming about life
all it seems is allright
you're not afraid of this ending
taking your place in the fabric of space
slowly drifting and mending
objects move closer
you feel a light bending
a strong pull
as you feel the times ending
in a last sigh you let go
as you went from life
to enter a Black Hole

Light reaches your eyes, different place
different time, different face, different smile
retain a sense of self in this strange
state of mind
reembraced reïnstated well on your way
with retracing your self
Never a constant, always developing
human curiosity, aahh for-the-hell-of-it
blaze a bit be a mellow kid
you carve your road soon enough
meet old friends like Broken Trust
and you'll carry weight untill your shoulders crush
fight and re-see one end that's close to us

Death.

we will all die...

A sentence as merciless as Death itself.
Or maybe mercifull?
It's a thing to fear or take comfort in.
It means the unknown is an unignorable truth.
An obstacle bigger than our comprehension
an obstacle stronger than life. Yet dependant.
Circumstances and events lay at it's foundation
and if enough strings are cut
that massive obstacle will crush you.

It's not about give and take. Give and take is not life and death.
I as a person, as a living being am hardwired to live.
Such is inherent and I believe it to be a guideline for survival.

It's inconceivable how good we are at surviving.
I am drenched in this desire, in this curiosity to see what comes next.
Even as I am writing this with the utmost conviction that Death is an obstacle.

It only means one thing.

I am hardwired to achieve immortality.

There's nothing to be written. There's nothing to be told.
There are no words hangin' around late night in the street.
Not a single breath wasted, there's nothing to see.
The chalk line of a dead body.
A remnant of a life pethetic, lost in just a second.
It's nothing worth mentioning.
Couldn't even remember it.

Just an eerie chill lingering around.
The kind that makes people stay frosty.
Woman grip their purses. Pace fastens.
Fists clenched, gaze hardened.

An after effect, when I say **** all
and my cold soul jumps from an appartment high.

and the world will just keep on spinning.
and you will just keep on living.
and all of you will find happiness.
and most of you wouldn't weep nor shed a tear.

and you know what?
That's fine.

Guess what imma do when all of y'all die.

Heart made of onyx
Core of the soul bright
that's an oxymoron
Put down your glasses
because it's visible to the naked eye

Strip now & have *** with me
I'll take every ***** little thing
untill all that's left is one layer of humanity.
Flay your personality
dip your skin in lust turn pleasure into wellbalanced sanity

Borderline crazy? I'm just portraying my vanity
I speak double tongue
I don't only twist and bend words
you can't comprehend my capabilities
because you have never shared a bed with me

The world is my play ground
creativity is to see what others don't
She thinks in waves and that's why I stay sound
Resonate.You can say that I vibrate too.
I licked the double slit theory.

I shed light to see what's underneath our sight
Truth based on perception
Reality existing within all possibilities
you decide which one you witness

Death the father that is always at work
He who motivates us to push
A stay at home mother who nurtures us
I am but a child innocent in the conflict between them

I am here because Death keeps ******* with Life.

Symbolized like Superman right?
I undress you with my eyes
you are bare and I am not afraid to look inside
the Kryptonite
X marks the treasure so dig up some sunlight
and uncover the veil

Am I making sense? Even though I'm way past the sentence?
Just like you I'm sentenced to die because I was born.

Life.. It's.. All..
- Sir.Real.

When the world sees us for what we are. They will see Gods in a place vast, beyond imagining. - Stevie Ray

The world is a mad place to be.
Yet we're all here.
The majority. Makes it so.
We make it so. There is I and we.
Madness within peace. A singularity
In a clear pond, probably.
Truth in doubt and doubt in truth.
A lie in reality as we lie in reality
Watching the stars as we lie to reality.
We see, feel, hear, smell, taste, think and we both float and sink.
We perceive but we Don't perceive, unknown to us is what we Don't perceive so our limitation lies in the very light we use to uncover truth. To uncover truth means to pull away the cover that was covering truth. What covered truth, what force governs the cover? That force could be perceived by nothing but our own curiosity.

Yeah..

My thoughts glide through the air
a falling leaf during spring
Let's not be mistaken
The tree is a God
discarding the leafs
that thought infity was within their grasp
but the tree is just
He who does not judge
is free of sin
yet a slave to virtue
The tree roots buried deep
desperately clinging to Earth which gives him life
A God amongst mortals
is a mortal as well
Where the leafs failed
the tree succeeded

My thoughts glide through the air
a falling leaf during spring
A God amongst mortals

When all is lost in a singularity
I'd revel in the sheer delight
of watching my limbs tear from my body.
To know that my soul is shred,
skinned alive.
I'll fathom new depths to pain
even for a brief moment.
I'll think and think and think and think
and observe how my thoughts dissolve
I'll live and thrive in that moment,
feel alive as long as I can.
My gruesome death would leave a lesson:
There are some things, that can't be taken.
as I ironically dissapear without a trace left.

Perfectly abusing life and death.
Because one cannot exist without the other.
My death could not have existed without my life
and dying would solidify my message through my existence.
And I'll keep weaving a web of extremities
and leave this life a God.
A message written through a void.
Creation through nothing.
The feeling of having "It, who takes" at a checkmate.

The shadow of my soul laughs loud.
As I peer in Death's eyes
and let him watch how I set myself free through his confinement.
I'll leave, giving the King a brief moment of what it's like to be truly powerless.

Your reality perceived past the event horizon is a truth distorted.
Your soul resides in the very escape mechanisms that put you there in the first place. A tunnelvisionaire claiming to have seen the world. Yet it's definite proof to how confided you remain in your own perceived reality.
The arrogance that resonates from the words you write is written with ink which consists of pethetic.
Your own tears flow more free than you will ever be.
How does that truth make you feel?

You are a prisoner, self-proclaimed victim. You clipped your own wings and started crying how you'll never fly again. The true horror is that others sympathize with you, show you the mercy you ache for and thus confirm that your unhealthy needs and distorted reality remain the place for you to be. How does that truth make you feel?

I for one am disgusted.

I'd grab a knife and let it tear through my flesh
to rip out this inner strife if it wouldn't lead to my death.
My soul shivers he beats on his chest in fact that's why I breathe
on this ****** to try and relax. My mind is stretched to the max
my head needs to detach, my soul needs to eject.
Hotheaded armed with an icepick.
Hacking away at this ice that my spine grips.
My thoughts are confined in a space as small as my iris
and I'm behind iron bars of anxiety that I constantly have to fight with.
I've become a mass murderer, locked in a psychiatric ward as I **** my parts within, erasing my kin, the ink from the teardrops darkens my skin.
Fallen to sin. My world in the dark. A void shaped like a heart.
Yet this Tinman retaliates against the wizard of Oz!
My torch an everburning question mark
answers? That's the past but Life throwing hooks so I HAVE to dodge.
Hits exit Pause-my-world which I create so I can spit back in the face of God!

You awoke a sleeping giant, a savage beast, a lion
My soul roars everytime you see me sighin
I won't ignore these tidings
A frozen force is rising
Close to war my broken core redefines defiance.

So I will stand my ground and fight
go bar for bar with life.
Proudly wear these battlescars
you'll be astounded by my might
A star upon my sky
My reach is long and wide
You see I'm strong you're weak and wrong
I no longer hide
Because I don't have a mind
I am guided by the light
my sight set on my rage
replace my blood with hate
bleed and rust and easily crush
this tyrant in my cage.

Violence resides within us.
We are capable so we should embrace it as part of us.
There is beauty in anger and there is beauty in hatred.
Actively producing desperation. A complex webbing within an intricite structure as complex as fractals yet based on the simplest patterns. A need needing to be satisfied. A cringe.
A needle scratching inside your mind and heart, slowly pulling your attention towards the dark. Tainted with the beauty of impurity. To be able to see the dark means there is a foreign understanding about light. To strive for the jewel that is unreachable. To taste the fruit you have longed for, it's juices running over your mouth as you can finally indulge and devour with greed, with lust enhancing the flavor as there is no time to savor. It's almost ******. It is almost violent.
Striving to satisfy your needs... So basic.
A foundation laying motivation.
When was the last time you devoured something you desperately longed?

Hurray, another sleepless night.

This day is gonna be a peach for my temper.

I'm ****** cuz I can't sleep.
I can't sleep cuz I'm ******.

Nice ******* circle we have here bud.

Jaw clenched and with anger burning in my eyes
I'll tell you.
You killed me....
Unforgivable.
Abusive.
It is repulsive.
Manipulative.
I am disgusted.
Dramatic.
I say redundant.
Symbiotic
it's pethetic.

You will always manage to trigger my gag reflex.
May death be the head that rests on your beating chest.
I will thrive on your despair and laugh when you get desperate
I will be there in dreams you don't want nobody to see
and I will just watch.
Suffer, struggle, scream.
Nobody acknowledges you. Nobody sees you.
Because that is the everlasting abyss that I dominate.
I will envelop and devour you
untill you are completely surrounded.
Then.
I'll turn my back.
and thrive.
Absolute Zero.

It is a curse this eye, my knowledge inside
resides in my mind inside a web of reality, perceived
I bleed to die a sigh what do I see?  are you relieved? a lie?
Pleased to meet  I courteously smile and greet
your handshake's weak so I straighten my back to hide the fact
the lion's fed, show no sign of attack
I step back and chat like an anxious cat
smile to show you where the fangs are kept
You relax, a trap? I check your stance is bad
So it's time to strike with might to prove you
that I might just see right through you.

All these words...
All these thoughts...
All these feelings...
They are born in my heart...
And a lot of them live and die in my heart...
Unjustified, silenced and oppressed.
Waves and waves of rebellions course through me
Fighting The Tyrant, Their Captor...
My heart is a prison, a seperate world
from yours and mine.
Where the silenced dead live on as Ghosts.
Ghosts that haunt their dictator
their wails of agony resounding inside my mind
at night. At day feelings of deafening defeat.
Nightmares of hellish places and
being chased and murdered, I die.
But both are feeling watched, they know it
yet continue to fight. Because fighting is all they do.
Their coldness has left my heart so numb.
Embedded in ice is you.

If you truly did, you'd be dead.