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Shay Feb 11
Sometimes the world is all too much.
Other times it is simply not enough.
It is overwhelmingly beautiful that way.
Shay Feb 11
Darkness caresses me like a silk sheet,
I've got so carried away,
Forgot how to feel complete.
Can you help me?

Repeat
Repeat
Repeat

Undress my mind,
Does it feel right?
So use to speaking like wine,
Bitter and dry.
Words so sharp,
So careless,
They could cut our throats on the grapevines.

Ouch.
Shay Feb 22
I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

I am blissfully dancing alone tonight.
Vibing to my own beat in the blue venue lights.
But images of you play repeat in my head,
Again and again and again.

Cause you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

And I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But when I go home, I am alone.
Shay Feb 11
It's what choked and collapsed our lungs.
The flood like an endless sea.
Running around chasing other lovers.
Wish, wanting that "forever" with me.

There was flame before this fire
It was a spark that burnt us down
So deceitful, such a liar.
Endless smoke that corrupts us now.
Shay Feb 11
We are creatures of habit
A repetition and endless cycle.
You are a fool for love,
It does not matter where it comes from,
And you cannot handle it on your own.

You say you loved me
And maybe that's true
But somehow,
I believe I was never enough for you.
So go ahead and blame me,
I am a creature of habit too.
Shay Aug 19
Let's break our hearts for the arts.
And Promise, maybe, one day,
To put them back together again.
Shay Feb 11
And here I bring myself to my knees
Begging at the hands..
Please, please?
Is it that I find myself too wrapped up
In the endless cycle of desire?
The colors form around me,
I want them badly
But they are out of reach.
I shall not receive
But I shall not retreat.
I am on my knees
Begging, please.
Shay Feb 11
I will weave my strings
throughout your body
They will come in and out
across your broken chest,
down your wrists
and into your finger tips.

I will pull my strings lightly
to the surface of your skin,
wrap them around you,
and breath you in.

I will run these strings
from the top of your introverted head,
attach them to mine,
to extrovert you instead.

For to be attached
is to be mindful
and to be mindful is to be awake,
and being awake...
is freedom.

Detach to reattach,
my strings are here
to help guide you
But if you feel it to be so,
You feel it to be too close, cut them loose and let me go.
Shay Aug 19
He is the perfect pink.
He is the golden tangerine.
He is beauty where I thought all was lost.

He is different,
He is truth,
He is the wisdom that moves.

Now he is gone.
The sunsets took him away from me.
They showed me things I did not know.
They showed me his real truths.
That his truths were lies.

Lies? To me?
But the pink Peonies?
Lies.. to me?
But you were such a lovely color of tangerine.
Shay Feb 11
...I guess I’m afraid
That maybe you don’t see me.
Do you see my colors?
Shay Mar 19
Atop a mountain
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver.
A sun sets
With golden gates
To enter us into the night.
I whisper,
“I need you, I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

For, the mountain was wrapped in trees,
That ate every word I breathe.
The roots claimed our feet
Grounded us to retreat.
As the golden gates deplete
I whispered, “I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

Atop a mountain  
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver
I am grounded by your greed.
As I watched the golden gates drown into the night.
I whispered, “ I don’t need you”.
Shay Aug 19
He who walks around in the grey concrete,
With a smile that brings out a bit of color.
The one who bares cool mint, a gift,
I wonder why he even bothers?
Shay Aug 19
A silent gift of lustful intent.
Oh, what a foolish delight.
Shay Feb 11
I have found myself in a better place with tangerine skies and an un-bittered face.
And although I’m in the company of someone pained, buried somewhere deep down inside, in a place that has hardened like concrete protecting his soul, He smiles with me in tangerine skies, and when he puts his arms around me, I know things, eventually, will be alright.
     I never thought I would find myself here again, so quickly, in only a years worth of time. But I can’t bare to miss the beautiful colors that he shines.  So here I am, eyes open wider than ever before, gazing all his sweet colors,  that I adore.  
     They are layered out making his life’s mosaic, I don’t think he understands how beautiful he is. Words can not say it. I would paint him a picture if I knew how, to show him his heart or his soul, like a ray of light shining through a cloud. All his beautiful colors like a tangerine sky, and I’d smile and wrap my arms around him to let him know, eventually, things will be alright. And then, he too will find himself to be in a better place, with tangerine skies and an un-bittered face.
Shay Feb 11
Into the woods we go, dancing with lights between the trees, chasing faint memories like the setting sun, with such a gleaming glow. Silently wishing, wanting more, a blanket of darkness whisks ashore. A heavy grey cloud drowning our sorrows, and deeper into the woods we go.

  Allocating a place to lie down and rest our broken bones, reality settles in, you are here... So exploration into the unknown is the only way to grow. Grounded by your damp feet, all your layers become trees, and all your rooting limbs can lie down and sleep, deep in the woods with me.
Shay Aug 19
It's like you can feel it.
That exact moment I let go,
You reappear and surround me again.
Invading my soul with the slightest bit of excitement.
This is the only thing you know how to do,
That will keep me in place.
Shay Aug 19
It is all grey, everything around me.
I look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
I miss the pink peonies and the overwhelming tangerine.
I wish it would come find me, like the way I look for you,
In everything and everyone.

But I can't see...
Everything is grey.
And I try to look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
But sometimes I look too far and I reach the edge,
where there's nothing left.

It is all just grey.
Shay Aug 19
The neighbors are fighting again.
I'm up late, it's past 2 am,  
And I wondering how you've been.
How have you been?

Cause lately, I have been lonely,
And my minds been wondering,
Holding onto something.

Cause lately, have you been lonely?
Have your hands been reaching,
For something to hold again?
Shay Aug 19
It's all relative.
Life, it's always imitating art.
-----///..---->v..||--\

Art imitations,
Life simulations,
Colorful stimulations,
It's all for you.
-----///..---->v..||
--\

And it's all relative.
Every moment.
Relative.
Every moment...
-----///..---->v..||__--\

REPETITION.
Shay Feb 11
I admire the monsters that live within you.
I think they are beautiful.
Shay Feb 11
You broke my heart,
I played it cool, I let you take your time.
Now we are walking a very thin line,
Of who we are,
Lovers or Strangers?
We could not decide.

The sweetest of muses, inspiration to the core.
The feeling was better than anything I’d felt before.
So I latched on because winter was coming
& I’d rather suffer through the cold than be destroyed in fall.

& in the silence, I wait for the sirens to call
A ringing alarm, to wake our souls
To decide that us as lovers must end,
Once and for all.

As my heart breaks a hundred more times,
I’ll play it cool, but I will not take the lies.
I can no longer walk this thin line,
Between lovers and strangers...
I had to decide.

My muse is gone and my vision is black. I am numb to the core, and with inspiration, I lack.
I detached myself, and I let the cold in.
...Let the fall begin.
Shay Mar 19
I patiently waited
But you had forgotten
It was only for you
Only when you truly desired
A moment that felt so comfortable
So right.
A moment that truly meant nothing.
But I waited.
You just forgot.
Shay Aug 19
I am not here. I am somewhere else.
I am in a place unhinged, altered from reality.
I place myself in tangerine,
like the golden glow of your eyes,
hopeful in holding onto you.
It is, although, no longer tangible,
it is still here.
Dusted across every inch of our home,
Pieces of your remain to remember you by.
And I will love you always.
xoxo
Shay Aug 19
The Moon shines and I can feel you.
Shay Aug 19
But I think I'm ready for something more.
Perhaps something tame,
But something worth coming alive for.
I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE!

How do I find this so-called "More"?
Shay Feb 11
Your actions are silent, your words have not moved me.

The sound of your confusion overwhelms me.
A roaring buzz that just will not quit.

But there is something here, a genuine feeling.
You can not deny it.

Tell me it’s different this time around. That you have really thought about what you wanted,
Let my ears hear that pleasant sound.

Your actions are so silent.
You didn’t make a sound,
When I looked into your eyes,
There was nothing to be found.
This is nothing but a comfortable
Dream.
Shay Aug 19
I could just be tired, but it feels like sadness.
And I could just be tired, but I feel alone.
Shay Feb 11
Reflecting.
I am afraid.
Time is creeping up my spine,
It’s wilting my youth,
Making me question all that was once mine.

Reflecting.
I am afraid.
Time is not on my side,
Days are short and i
Find myself sad in the
Middle of a good day,
Terrified for the nights end,
For, at the end of the day,
I am alone.
Shay Feb 11
I want to understand you
&maybe if you gave yourself some time,
you could understand me too.
Shay Feb 11
You're cool like a vintage
vinyl record,
You’re so dope,
Such a bad *** playlist
Down to your center.

So beautiful in the summer
With your hair glissening
And eyes full of wonder.
And Im dreamin' of you
On the way to the moon,
With my eyes closed,
Listening to you,
“MMM...”

Such a bad *** playlist.
Shay Feb 11
Take me to your outer head space,
Full of dark ominous tones,
Ringing in my ears,
So beautiful.

You got me cryin,
Listenin to your badass playlist,
I hear you dyin.
Mmmm, I'm so impressed,
Your darkness got me feelin at rest,
Cause it’s not just me anymore,
I got the sound of you.
Jamin’ out,
Listenin to songs when we got the blues.
Comforting.
You’re my badass playlist.
Shay Feb 11
I just hope your intentions
Are pure and genuine.

In a world full of self-sabotage,
It is easy to get lost
In your original path.
The path that keeps you safe,
Keeps you sane.

Be kind,
Be mindful,
And you’ll be free.
Shay Aug 19
The room is quiet but my mind is screaming,
Aching with all the unsaid words.
And the room was quiet,
But tonight the world is too loud.
So, I think I'll just lie down.
Shay Aug 19
With emotions so high, I wonder if I could turn red,
Like blood that blankets my bones.
I was never one to be inspired by the ones
Who decided that anger was truth, alone.

But now, even the sweetest of daisies have gone cold.
And I wonder if I too would turn red,  
Like the blood that blankets my bones.
Shay Aug 19
Lost only to find himself at the hands of danger.
Blue and red surround him.
A criminal disco.
Shay Aug 19
Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me, it was all a blur. I can only see what I left behind.
Yes, I see it so clearly.

Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me. I do not recognize the person there. I do not comprehend the present and most certainly, not the future. I only see what's behind me.
Yes, I see it so clearly.
Shay Feb 11
Picking at old wounds,
Open them up and make them new.
Only in the sense of relevance
Shay Aug 19
Her mouth is blossoming a Rose garden.
What a beautiful tasteful treat.
She must be handled with care,
As her words may not always be so sweet.

Bitterness at second nature.
Perhaps it's because she prefers a Peony.  
But she grew a Rose garden instead,
With the sharpest thorns growing up her feet.
Shay Aug 19
The mountain is engulfed in a fiery red.
As I sit, the Sun has set,
And the city is now amongst the night, and it comes to life.
While I look down from atop the jagged edges of my home town hills,
My eyes gaze across, the blinding light rails.
And I wonder, if I looked hard enough, could I finally see you the way I was always meant to?
At a distance, with hesitation, and pure curiosity.
Shay Aug 19
I have not been able to keep a straight thought or idea for so long. I am scared I have moved passed a point of sadness and into total devastation, to the point of numbness.
I find myself careless most days, and in the endless effort to feel something, I have finally found anger.

Anger is new. Anger has been the lonely stranger in my dim sad world. Anger has only found me in specific moments in time.
But not now.
Now, I am patientless, unforgiving, ruthless, and cold.  

This version of me scares me.
Shay Feb 11
I didn’t think it’d ever end
I didn’t think it’d ever end
But here I am, on the other end.

&I didn’t think it’d ever end
&I didn’t think it’d ever end
But here I am, with a different man.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself, for someone else.
For something new.

And you make me so happy, it’s crazy.
But why are my eyes swimming in blue baby?

So I sacrificed myself, for you.
And all your happiness.
And here I am.
Other other end.
For something new.
With a different man.
Shay Feb 11
It’s hard when your physical self and spiritual self become estranged. One knowing it must detach from that place it desires to call home, it’s comfort, because that place is no longer.. But one wanting it's desires so badly it could move the Earth to prove its worth...

I could move the Earth.
Shay Feb 11
Your colors are leaving me,
Now they are just painted on the walls.
Shay Feb 11
He was in love,
And she could not bare it.
She threw it away and covered the pain by running off with a different man.

He tried to understand, his love left him blind,
That her excuses were just that. She was not seeking a new truth to find.
No, she was just fine.

He is left in the dark, waiting for her.
But she continues to feed you her excuses.
“Seeking to find new truths”
Shay Aug 19
And admittingly so, she would be shocked at the anger that now bellows deep beneath her skin, embedded into her soul. As she has never been one with fury, but time has passed and she was told to let go.

And the pink peonies have gone, dissipated, into the unknown. And she was left alone with baby blue, that iced over in isolation, where her anger grew.

She seems so far away now.
Shay Aug 19
You are utterly captivated.
Like the paintings on the walls.
Dripping with emotion, and sometimes,
Simply without.

You are complex, a masterpiece,
Within my dull world.
This is truly how I see you.

But I wish you could see me the way you see her,
Blindly, but fully in all colors.

And I wish you felt for me the way you felt for her.
Unconditional, complete, without
and outside of hesitations.

You are utterly captivated by her, like the paintings on your walls.
Dripping in emotion, and sometimes,
Simply without.
Shay Aug 19
And I will take myself to paradise,
step into the salty sea and melt away the tears.
I will raise my eyes to the tangerine horizon,
and climb my way into the Universe, where you now live.
To dissipate the pain and surround myself in you.  

Because I have become unhinged,
from myself, from life, from love.
And I need to know you were real,
that you're still real!
That the Universe is kind to your soul
while on it's journey into the
Tangerine Dream.  

I love you. I miss you. Forever.
xoxo
Shay Aug 19
Your lips are warm, but you are foreign.
I think if I tried, I could get maybe get comfortable again.

I want to recognize your mouth,
The shape of your teeth, your nose, your cheeks.
So I'll study your hair, as I run my fingers through it.
"Is it long enough?" - But why do I care?

Your lips are warm, but your body is foreign.
I think if I tried, I could maybe get comfortable again.
Yes, comfortable again...

So I curl up next to him.
Shay Feb 11
He said it’s comfort that keeps us together,
Nothing more.

And he laughs at my jokes and puts on a face,
He dances wisdom filled words on his tongue.
But he has no room for true love.
No, there is not a single space,
That is left in his body to feel the magic,
Only comfortable awareness
And all things tragic.

I told you I loved you
and you said it was not true.
That we were merely “strangers,
how could you? “

Yet, my memory dances
With all our time,
for the past 2 years,
I thought things were fine...
That you just needed some time.
But in your eyes,
We were just strangers.
Shay Feb 11
You carved our names
Into the trees,
For a forever lasting memory
And smokey winds that had
Set us free,
We closed our eyes and
The sun finally set into a tangerine bleed.
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