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499 · Mar 2019
Words over coffee
Shay Mar 2019
You sit across from me
Arms open
Lips laced with words to say
We drink our coffee
The only thing stopping me
From reaching out and kissing you
Is fear.
The only thing stoping me
From telling you I love you
Is I’m afraid to say it.
It, is truth.
Like lilac lovers in a summers rain
Like lavender bouquets to keep us sane
It, is truth.
Truth, to new blooms.
Truth, to our youths.
Truth, to me and you.
A wallflower with wild daisy
But, I just sit across from you,
Arms open,
Lips laced with words unsaid,
And we drink our coffee.
No truth.
415 · Mar 2019
Maybe someday
Shay Mar 2019
I patiently waited
But you had forgotten
It was only for you
Only when you truly desired
A moment that felt so comfortable
So right.
A moment that truly meant nothing.
But I waited.
You just forgot.
354 · Mar 2019
Water the flowers
Shay Mar 2019
In the pink peonies room, my eyes melted a perfect shade of blue. A wallflower with wild daisy. A fiery passion of love against lust and compassion over comfort. A captured moment of crazy. A pink peonies room for a wallflower with a wild daisy. But my eyes melted in a perfect shade of blue.
339 · Mar 2019
Find me after sunset
Shay Mar 2019
Atop a mountain
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver.
A sun sets
With golden gates
To enter us into the night.
I whisper,
“I need you, I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

For, the mountain was wrapped in trees,
That ate every word I breathe.
The roots claimed our feet
Grounded us to retreat.
As the golden gates deplete
I whispered, “I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

Atop a mountain  
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver
I am grounded by your greed.
As I watched the golden gates drown into the night.
I whispered, “ I don’t need you”.
323 · Aug 2019
Welcome
Shay Aug 2019
Welcome to my mind.
Tangled in the depths of the coding of the modern-day internet.
288 · Feb 2019
Lustful Strangers
Shay Feb 2019
You broke my heart,
I played it cool, I let you take your time.
Now we are walking a very thin line,
Of who we are,
Lovers or Strangers?
We could not decide.

The sweetest of muses, inspiration to the core.
The feeling was better than anything I’d felt before.
So I latched on because winter was coming
& I’d rather suffer through the cold than be destroyed in fall.

& in the silence, I wait for the sirens to call
A ringing alarm, to wake our souls
To decide that us as lovers must end,
Once and for all.

As my heart breaks a hundred more times,
I’ll play it cool, but I will not take the lies.
I can no longer walk this thin line,
Between lovers and strangers...
I had to decide.

My muse is gone and my vision is black. I am numb to the core, and with inspiration, I lack.
I detached myself, and I let the cold in.
...Let the fall begin.
191 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The wolf howled at the moon,
And the moon melted into the dark blue.
190 · Aug 2019
The Stars and Moon
Shay Aug 2019
Down and down it goes.
The dusk fire  dissipates,
And the jaded Moon arose.
The Wolf howled at the Moon,
Screaming " How could you?!"
And the Moon cried and melted into the dark blue.
All that was left is darkness, for the Stars left in surprise,
Abandoned by the Moon, when they thought it would rise.
188 · Feb 2019
Strangers
Shay Feb 2019
He said it’s comfort that keeps us together,
Nothing more.

And he laughs at my jokes and puts on a face,
He dances wisdom filled words on his tongue.
But he has no room for true love.
No, there is not a single space,
That is left in his body to feel the magic,
Only comfortable awareness
And all things tragic.

I told you I loved you
and you said it was not true.
That we were merely “strangers,
how could you? “

Yet, my memory dances
With all our time,
for the past 2 years,
I thought things were fine...
That you just needed some time.
But in your eyes,
We were just strangers.
188 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
I knew it was coming.
The moment my name reached the edge of your lips.
You could not deny your desire.

And I just may be crazy,
Secretly wishing, as always,
That you remembered how to feel.
How to feel for me,
How to feel with me.
That it was more than just comfort again.

But I am foolish in my desires for you to love me.
178 · Feb 2019
Creatures of Habit
Shay Feb 2019
We are creatures of habit
A repetition and endless cycle.
You are a fool for love,
It does not matter where it comes from,
And you cannot handle it on your own.

You say you loved me
And maybe that's true
But somehow,
I believe I was never enough for you.
So go ahead and blame me,
I am a creature of habit too.
158 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
He found peace in me.
But, what am I to say?
I don't know.
No, I just shriveled up to silently shrill.
And to completely be? No.
No time to think that maybe the time we share
Could possibly turn this into something real.
125 · Feb 2019
Self Worth
Shay Feb 2019
It’s hard when your physical self and spiritual self become estranged. One knowing it must detach from that place it desires to call home, it’s comfort, because that place is no longer.. But one wanting it's desires so badly it could move the Earth to prove its worth...

I could move the Earth.
120 · Feb 2019
Winter Healing
Shay Feb 2019
As I waited I felt you fading,
In a small blanket of snow.
On the corner of a familiar street,
At the Motel Du Beau.
114 · Feb 2019
Beautiful Balance
Shay Feb 2019
Sometimes the world is all too much.
Other times it is simply not enough.
It is overwhelmingly beautiful that way.
114 · Feb 2019
Unhinged from Love
Shay Feb 2019
I fear your soul is lingering
unhinged,
from your higher self.
Asleep perhaps,
Waiting for the offerings of the universes wealth...

A little something I call love.
106 · Feb 2019
Find Me
Shay Feb 2019
...I guess I’m afraid
That maybe you don’t see me.
Do you see my colors?
105 · Feb 2019
Blue Venue Lights
Shay Feb 2019
I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

I am blissfully dancing alone tonight.
Vibing to my own beat in the blue venue lights.
But images of you play repeat in my head,
Again and again and again.

Cause you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

And I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But when I go home, I am alone.
102 · Feb 2019
The Colors of You
Shay Feb 2019
What are the colors that shine for me, that shine for you?
A tangerine dream of vivid melting sky’s
A walk through the desert mountains dancing with blue butterflies?
What are the colors that shine for me, do they shine for you?
A sea of green an endless wave of ultra violet rays...
A cloud of grey in a summer rain?
Or damp mossy green leaves wrapped around your feet?
What are these colors that shine for me?
Do they shine for you?

Are you curious of the colors that you are made of?
99 · Feb 2019
Patience
Shay Feb 2019
I want to understand you
&maybe if you gave yourself some time,
you could understand me too.
89 · Feb 2019
Seperating
Shay Feb 2019
Your colors are leaving me,
Now they are just painted on the walls.
86 · Feb 2019
Desire
Shay Feb 2019
And here I bring myself to my knees
Begging at the hands..
Please, please?
Is it that I find myself too wrapped up
In the endless cycle of desire?
The colors form around me,
I want them badly
But they are out of reach.
I shall not receive
But I shall not retreat.
I am on my knees
Begging, please.
85 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Shay Feb 2019
But what are we, if we do not feel?
81 · Feb 2019
Lovely Monsters
Shay Feb 2019
I admire the monsters that live within you.
I think they are beautiful.
80 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
I think I need to disconnect for awhile.
78 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
It's dangerous alone at night in my head.
74 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The memory of you is that of a ripple in the water.
In a small confined space, a familiar wave bounces back and forth.
72 · Aug 2019
Roses Aren't So Sweet
Shay Aug 2019
Her mouth is blossoming a Rose garden.
What a beautiful tasteful treat.
She must be handled with care,
As her words may not always be so sweet.

Bitterness at second nature.
Perhaps it's because she prefers a Peony.  
But she grew a Rose garden instead,
With the sharpest thorns growing up her feet.
68 · Feb 2019
Self Sacrifice
Shay Feb 2019
I didn’t think it’d ever end
I didn’t think it’d ever end
But here I am, on the other end.

&I didn’t think it’d ever end
&I didn’t think it’d ever end
But here I am, with a different man.

Sometimes you have to sacrifice yourself, for someone else.
For something new.

And you make me so happy, it’s crazy.
But why are my eyes swimming in blue baby?

So I sacrificed myself, for you.
And all your happiness.
And here I am.
Other other end.
For something new.
With a different man.
65 · Aug 2019
Rash
Shay Aug 2019
With emotions so high, I wonder if I could turn red,
Like blood that blankets my bones.
I was never one to be inspired by the ones
Who decided that anger was truth, alone.

But now, even the sweetest of daisies have gone cold.
And I wonder if I too would turn red,  
Like the blood that blankets my bones.
65 · Feb 2019
Purity
Shay Feb 2019
I just hope your intentions
Are pure and genuine.

In a world full of self-sabotage,
It is easy to get lost
In your original path.
The path that keeps you safe,
Keeps you sane.

Be kind,
Be mindful,
And you’ll be free.
60 · Aug 2019
Seeing Red
Shay Aug 2019
I have not been able to keep a straight thought or idea for so long. I am scared I have moved passed a point of sadness and into total devastation, to the point of numbness.
I find myself careless most days, and in the endless effort to feel something, I have finally found anger.

Anger is new. Anger has been the lonely stranger in my dim sad world. Anger has only found me in specific moments in time.
But not now.
Now, I am patientless, unforgiving, ruthless, and cold.  

This version of me scares me.
55 · Aug 2019
She Seems So Far Away Now
Shay Aug 2019
And admittingly so, she would be shocked at the anger that now bellows deep beneath her skin, embedded into her soul. As she has never been one with fury, but time has passed and she was told to let go.

And the pink peonies have gone, dissipated, into the unknown. And she was left alone with baby blue, that iced over in isolation, where her anger grew.

She seems so far away now.
55 · Feb 2019
Sunday Brunch
Shay Feb 2019
My head is tingling
From the feeling
Of this midday peachy dream.

& the coffee is lingering
From the cup I spilt all over me.
And my head started to tingle with
Feelings I didn’t want to feel anymore.

This peachy dream,
I wanna look away.
Buzzing in my ears
A sound I love to hear,
You and your peachy sweet words.
I want to taste them on my lips.
Let it drip down my skin
Soak it in.
52 · Feb 2019
Past and Future
Shay Feb 2019
Reflecting.
I am afraid.
Time is creeping up my spine,
It’s wilting my youth,
Making me question all that was once mine.

Reflecting.
I am afraid.
Time is not on my side,
Days are short and i
Find myself sad in the
Middle of a good day,
Terrified for the nights end,
For, at the end of the day,
I am alone.
52 · Feb 2019
Summer Forests
Shay Feb 2019
You carved our names
Into the trees,
For a forever lasting memory
And smokey winds that had
Set us free,
We closed our eyes and
The sun finally set into a tangerine bleed.
51 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The day is long, repetitive.
And I am drowning, gasping for air.
Will the rough waters ever quit?
50 · Aug 2019
Gifts.
Shay Aug 2019
A silent gift of lustful intent.
Oh, what a foolish delight.
49 · Aug 2019
The Sky
Shay Aug 2019
I look to the sky thinking of you.
All the colors romance me
And I feel like a fool,
For thinking of you.
But you're just so beautiful.
49 · Feb 2019
She Is Fine
Shay Feb 2019
He was in love,
And she could not bare it.
She threw it away and covered the pain by running off with a different man.

He tried to understand, his love left him blind,
That her excuses were just that. She was not seeking a new truth to find.
No, she was just fine.

He is left in the dark, waiting for her.
But she continues to feed you her excuses.
“Seeking to find new truths”
49 · Feb 2019
Sunsets
Shay Feb 2019
The colors romance me
And I just can’t help
But to fall in love
With the sky.
49 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
Passion is Profitable.
48 · Aug 2019
Fresh
Shay Aug 2019
He who walks around in the grey concrete,
With a smile that brings out a bit of color.
The one who bares cool mint, a gift,
I wonder why he even bothers?
48 · Feb 2019
Detach to Reattach
Shay Feb 2019
I will weave my strings
throughout your body
They will come in and out
across your broken chest,
down your wrists
and into your finger tips.

I will pull my strings lightly
to the surface of your skin,
wrap them around you,
and breath you in.

I will run these strings
from the top of your introverted head,
attach them to mine,
to extrovert you instead.

For to be attached
is to be mindful
and to be mindful is to be awake,
and being awake...
is freedom.

Detach to reattach,
my strings are here
to help guide you
But if you feel it to be so,
You feel it to be too close, cut them loose and let me go.
47 · Aug 2019
Moonshine
Shay Aug 2019
The Moon shines and I can feel you.
47 · Aug 2019
It Is All Grey
Shay Aug 2019
It is all grey, everything around me.
I look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
I miss the pink peonies and the overwhelming tangerine.
I wish it would come find me, like the way I look for you,
In everything and everyone.

But I can't see...
Everything is grey.
And I try to look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
But sometimes I look too far and I reach the edge,
where there's nothing left.

It is all just grey.
47 · Aug 2019
Reflective
Shay Aug 2019
Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me, it was all a blur. I can only see what I left behind.
Yes, I see it so clearly.

Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me. I do not recognize the person there. I do not comprehend the present and most certainly, not the future. I only see what's behind me.
Yes, I see it so clearly.
46 · Aug 2019
Red and Blue
Shay Aug 2019
Lost only to find himself at the hands of danger.
Blue and red surround him.
A criminal disco.
45 · Aug 2019
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
It's that moment.
Just me and you,
Perfectly in sync.
But it was only a dream,
It was only a dream.
45 · Feb 2019
No Change
Shay Feb 2019
Your actions are silent, your words have not moved me.

The sound of your confusion overwhelms me.
A roaring buzz that just will not quit.

But there is something here, a genuine feeling.
You can not deny it.

Tell me it’s different this time around. That you have really thought about what you wanted,
Let my ears hear that pleasant sound.

Your actions are so silent.
You didn’t make a sound,
When I looked into your eyes,
There was nothing to be found.
This is nothing but a comfortable
Dream.
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