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Aug 2019 · 323
Welcome
Shay Aug 2019
Welcome to my mind.
Tangled in the depths of the coding of the modern-day internet.
Aug 2019 · 190
The Stars and Moon
Shay Aug 2019
Down and down it goes.
The dusk fire  dissipates,
And the jaded Moon arose.
The Wolf howled at the Moon,
Screaming " How could you?!"
And the Moon cried and melted into the dark blue.
All that was left is darkness, for the Stars left in surprise,
Abandoned by the Moon, when they thought it would rise.
Aug 2019 · 191
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The wolf howled at the moon,
And the moon melted into the dark blue.
Aug 2019 · 188
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
I knew it was coming.
The moment my name reached the edge of your lips.
You could not deny your desire.

And I just may be crazy,
Secretly wishing, as always,
That you remembered how to feel.
How to feel for me,
How to feel with me.
That it was more than just comfort again.

But I am foolish in my desires for you to love me.
Aug 2019 · 80
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
I think I need to disconnect for awhile.
Aug 2019 · 74
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The memory of you is that of a ripple in the water.
In a small confined space, a familiar wave bounces back and forth.
Aug 2019 · 78
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
It's dangerous alone at night in my head.
Aug 2019 · 72
Roses Aren't So Sweet
Shay Aug 2019
Her mouth is blossoming a Rose garden.
What a beautiful tasteful treat.
She must be handled with care,
As her words may not always be so sweet.

Bitterness at second nature.
Perhaps it's because she prefers a Peony.  
But she grew a Rose garden instead,
With the sharpest thorns growing up her feet.
Aug 2019 · 158
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
He found peace in me.
But, what am I to say?
I don't know.
No, I just shriveled up to silently shrill.
And to completely be? No.
No time to think that maybe the time we share
Could possibly turn this into something real.
Aug 2019 · 65
Rash
Shay Aug 2019
With emotions so high, I wonder if I could turn red,
Like blood that blankets my bones.
I was never one to be inspired by the ones
Who decided that anger was truth, alone.

But now, even the sweetest of daisies have gone cold.
And I wonder if I too would turn red,  
Like the blood that blankets my bones.
Aug 2019 · 55
She Seems So Far Away Now
Shay Aug 2019
And admittingly so, she would be shocked at the anger that now bellows deep beneath her skin, embedded into her soul. As she has never been one with fury, but time has passed and she was told to let go.

And the pink peonies have gone, dissipated, into the unknown. And she was left alone with baby blue, that iced over in isolation, where her anger grew.

She seems so far away now.
Aug 2019 · 60
Seeing Red
Shay Aug 2019
I have not been able to keep a straight thought or idea for so long. I am scared I have moved passed a point of sadness and into total devastation, to the point of numbness.
I find myself careless most days, and in the endless effort to feel something, I have finally found anger.

Anger is new. Anger has been the lonely stranger in my dim sad world. Anger has only found me in specific moments in time.
But not now.
Now, I am patientless, unforgiving, ruthless, and cold.  

This version of me scares me.
Aug 2019 · 51
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
The day is long, repetitive.
And I am drowning, gasping for air.
Will the rough waters ever quit?
Aug 2019 · 48
Fresh
Shay Aug 2019
He who walks around in the grey concrete,
With a smile that brings out a bit of color.
The one who bares cool mint, a gift,
I wonder why he even bothers?
Aug 2019 · 50
Gifts.
Shay Aug 2019
A silent gift of lustful intent.
Oh, what a foolish delight.
Aug 2019 · 37
More
Shay Aug 2019
But I think I'm ready for something more.
Perhaps something tame,
But something worth coming alive for.
I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE!

How do I find this so-called "More"?
Aug 2019 · 40
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
Is it the pain we lust?
Isn't there something beautiful about a romatic distrust?

Is it the pain we lust?
It is, isn't it?
Aug 2019 · 39
Simply Complex
Shay Aug 2019
You are utterly captivated.
Like the paintings on the walls.
Dripping with emotion, and sometimes,
Simply without.

You are complex, a masterpiece,
Within my dull world.
This is truly how I see you.

But I wish you could see me the way you see her,
Blindly, but fully in all colors.

And I wish you felt for me the way you felt for her.
Unconditional, complete, without
and outside of hesitations.

You are utterly captivated by her, like the paintings on your walls.
Dripping in emotion, and sometimes,
Simply without.
Aug 2019 · 47
It Is All Grey
Shay Aug 2019
It is all grey, everything around me.
I look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
I miss the pink peonies and the overwhelming tangerine.
I wish it would come find me, like the way I look for you,
In everything and everyone.

But I can't see...
Everything is grey.
And I try to look beyond myself most days to attempt repair.
But sometimes I look too far and I reach the edge,
where there's nothing left.

It is all just grey.
Aug 2019 · 38
Numb
Shay Aug 2019
I could just be tired, but it feels like sadness.
And I could just be tired, but I feel alone.
Aug 2019 · 28
It Always be Like That
Shay Aug 2019
It's like you can feel it.
That exact moment I let go,
You reappear and surround me again.
Invading my soul with the slightest bit of excitement.
This is the only thing you know how to do,
That will keep me in place.
Aug 2019 · 43
Memorial
Shay Aug 2019
I am not here. I am somewhere else.
I am in a place unhinged, altered from reality.
I place myself in tangerine,
like the golden glow of your eyes,
hopeful in holding onto you.
It is, although, no longer tangible,
it is still here.
Dusted across every inch of our home,
Pieces of your remain to remember you by.
And I will love you always.
xoxo
Aug 2019 · 35
SKELLY
Shay Aug 2019
And I will take myself to paradise,
step into the salty sea and melt away the tears.
I will raise my eyes to the tangerine horizon,
and climb my way into the Universe, where you now live.
To dissipate the pain and surround myself in you.  

Because I have become unhinged,
from myself, from life, from love.
And I need to know you were real,
that you're still real!
That the Universe is kind to your soul
while on it's journey into the
Tangerine Dream.  

I love you. I miss you. Forever.
xoxo
Aug 2019 · 38
Quiet Down
Shay Aug 2019
The room is quiet but my mind is screaming,
Aching with all the unsaid words.
And the room was quiet,
But tonight the world is too loud.
So, I think I'll just lie down.
Aug 2019 · 47
Moonshine
Shay Aug 2019
The Moon shines and I can feel you.
Aug 2019 · 47
Reflective
Shay Aug 2019
Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me, it was all a blur. I can only see what I left behind.
Yes, I see it so clearly.

Today I looked in the mirror and I could not see what was in front of me. I do not recognize the person there. I do not comprehend the present and most certainly, not the future. I only see what's behind me.
Yes, I see it so clearly.
Aug 2019 · 43
Life is Art, Art is Life
Shay Aug 2019
It's all relative.
Life, it's always imitating art.
-----///..---->v..||--\

Art imitations,
Life simulations,
Colorful stimulations,
It's all for you.
-----///..---->v..||
--\

And it's all relative.
Every moment.
Relative.
Every moment...
-----///..---->v..||__--\

REPETITION.
Aug 2019 · 45
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
It's that moment.
Just me and you,
Perfectly in sync.
But it was only a dream,
It was only a dream.
Aug 2019 · 49
The Sky
Shay Aug 2019
I look to the sky thinking of you.
All the colors romance me
And I feel like a fool,
For thinking of you.
But you're just so beautiful.
Aug 2019 · 49
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
Passion is Profitable.
Aug 2019 · 36
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
Your romance is empty, but today, I stay.
Aug 2019 · 41
Dark Art
Shay Aug 2019
Let's break our hearts for the arts.
And Promise, maybe, one day,
To put them back together again.
Aug 2019 · 40
Untitled
Shay Aug 2019
Let's complicate it.
Aug 2019 · 38
Someone New
Shay Aug 2019
Your lips are warm, but you are foreign.
I think if I tried, I could get maybe get comfortable again.

I want to recognize your mouth,
The shape of your teeth, your nose, your cheeks.
So I'll study your hair, as I run my fingers through it.
"Is it long enough?" - But why do I care?

Your lips are warm, but your body is foreign.
I think if I tried, I could maybe get comfortable again.
Yes, comfortable again...

So I curl up next to him.
Aug 2019 · 38
Late Nights
Shay Aug 2019
The neighbors are fighting again.
I'm up late, it's past 2 am,  
And I wondering how you've been.
How have you been?

Cause lately, I have been lonely,
And my minds been wondering,
Holding onto something.

Cause lately, have you been lonely?
Have your hands been reaching,
For something to hold again?
Aug 2019 · 46
Red and Blue
Shay Aug 2019
Lost only to find himself at the hands of danger.
Blue and red surround him.
A criminal disco.
Aug 2019 · 35
Figuring You Out
Shay Aug 2019
He is the perfect pink.
He is the golden tangerine.
He is beauty where I thought all was lost.

He is different,
He is truth,
He is the wisdom that moves.

Now he is gone.
The sunsets took him away from me.
They showed me things I did not know.
They showed me his real truths.
That his truths were lies.

Lies? To me?
But the pink Peonies?
Lies.. to me?
But you were such a lovely color of tangerine.
Aug 2019 · 32
Searching
Shay Aug 2019
The mountain is engulfed in a fiery red.
As I sit, the Sun has set,
And the city is now amongst the night, and it comes to life.
While I look down from atop the jagged edges of my home town hills,
My eyes gaze across, the blinding light rails.
And I wonder, if I looked hard enough, could I finally see you the way I was always meant to?
At a distance, with hesitation, and pure curiosity.
Mar 2019 · 354
Water the flowers
Shay Mar 2019
In the pink peonies room, my eyes melted a perfect shade of blue. A wallflower with wild daisy. A fiery passion of love against lust and compassion over comfort. A captured moment of crazy. A pink peonies room for a wallflower with a wild daisy. But my eyes melted in a perfect shade of blue.
Mar 2019 · 415
Maybe someday
Shay Mar 2019
I patiently waited
But you had forgotten
It was only for you
Only when you truly desired
A moment that felt so comfortable
So right.
A moment that truly meant nothing.
But I waited.
You just forgot.
Mar 2019 · 339
Find me after sunset
Shay Mar 2019
Atop a mountain
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver.
A sun sets
With golden gates
To enter us into the night.
I whisper,
“I need you, I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

For, the mountain was wrapped in trees,
That ate every word I breathe.
The roots claimed our feet
Grounded us to retreat.
As the golden gates deplete
I whispered, “I need you”.
But you could not hear me.

Atop a mountain  
Cold weather
I shiver, I shiver
I am grounded by your greed.
As I watched the golden gates drown into the night.
I whispered, “ I don’t need you”.
Mar 2019 · 499
Words over coffee
Shay Mar 2019
You sit across from me
Arms open
Lips laced with words to say
We drink our coffee
The only thing stopping me
From reaching out and kissing you
Is fear.
The only thing stoping me
From telling you I love you
Is I’m afraid to say it.
It, is truth.
Like lilac lovers in a summers rain
Like lavender bouquets to keep us sane
It, is truth.
Truth, to new blooms.
Truth, to our youths.
Truth, to me and you.
A wallflower with wild daisy
But, I just sit across from you,
Arms open,
Lips laced with words unsaid,
And we drink our coffee.
No truth.
Feb 2019 · 105
Blue Venue Lights
Shay Feb 2019
I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

I am blissfully dancing alone tonight.
Vibing to my own beat in the blue venue lights.
But images of you play repeat in my head,
Again and again and again.

Cause you are at home with her in your bed.
Laughing at things we have already done,
Things we have already said.
And I feel so alone in this.
Like it was all in my head.

And I could cry.
Cause tonight I had such a amazing night,
Screaming at the top of my lungs.
Blissfully dancing in the blue venue lights.

But when I go home, I am alone.
Feb 2019 · 114
Beautiful Balance
Shay Feb 2019
Sometimes the world is all too much.
Other times it is simply not enough.
It is overwhelmingly beautiful that way.
Feb 2019 · 99
Patience
Shay Feb 2019
I want to understand you
&maybe if you gave yourself some time,
you could understand me too.
Feb 2019 · 106
Find Me
Shay Feb 2019
...I guess I’m afraid
That maybe you don’t see me.
Do you see my colors?
Feb 2019 · 85
Untitled
Shay Feb 2019
But what are we, if we do not feel?
Feb 2019 · 89
Seperating
Shay Feb 2019
Your colors are leaving me,
Now they are just painted on the walls.
Feb 2019 · 81
Lovely Monsters
Shay Feb 2019
I admire the monsters that live within you.
I think they are beautiful.
Feb 2019 · 120
Winter Healing
Shay Feb 2019
As I waited I felt you fading,
In a small blanket of snow.
On the corner of a familiar street,
At the Motel Du Beau.
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