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 Feb 2018 Shang
lins
control
 Feb 2018 Shang
lins
I don't want to think about you any more
I don't want to write about you any more
You infiltrate all of my thoughts
You infiltrate my every move
Here I am
Ready to defeat you
Ready to be rid of you
Leave me alone
Leave me alone
I'm angry that I'm sorry
I'm angry that you're not
Here I am
I don't want to think about the good things
I don't want to feel the hurt either
Yet here I am
Thinking, feeling
Writing about you
I'm lesbian so what
I'm gay so what
I'm bisexual so what
I'm ******* transgender so what
At least i know who the **** I am
I'm pansexual so what
I'm ******* me
I'm myself
If you don't like it
I love it
If you don't care
I cherish it forever
If you hate me
I love you
I'm LGBT
Who the **** are you
Hahaha
 Feb 2018 Shang
Olivia
I am in love with being alone
And oh! how wonderful it is to explore how unlonely you can be on your own,

But there is a mighty difference,
One that we all face,
When loneliness hits us at the wrong time and place,

My heart sinks and I can’t breathe,
Memories come rushing back to me
So much on my mind,
Who am I
Where do I belong,
The future is all I think of
Everything seems so wrong

I keep my head up
I tell myself to breathe,
You can do it just be strong,

I am okay again,
But I fear for these days,

When solitude is what I crave,
But loneliness takes its place.
A quick poem i thought of during my lonely hours. Still in progress. I am not sure if anyone else has a problem with editing there poems on this or is it just me ?
 Feb 2018 Shang
maledimiele
These days I am amazed
How this tiny apartment
Suddenly contains so much space
Vast, like an ocean
I am drowning in endless spheres

I am thinking about how we didn’t even fit a couch into it
How you threw away your old shoes
How I buried mine under pillars of clothes in the cellar
How the walls hugged us at night
How our hopes and dreams tried to escape the window
How we didn’t let them
How we wanted to adopt a cat so badly
How we were afraid the walls would swallow it

But this morning I woke up,
Sheets like a large blanket of snow
A heavy silence weighing me down
So much air but so little breath

I barely saw the end of the room
Just a dark tunnel where there is no light at the end or anything at all
Just me and is ridiculously large space
Suffocating me with its infinity

I recovered your stuff from the cellar
Hung your pictures on the wall again
Even put up that ugly shelf you used to love

But no matter how hard I tried to fill the room
The floor just soaked in everything
And there was only so much space
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