If you get sick at the thought of someone else touching me
**why are you touching someone else

I'm just not feeling happy and want to be alone and cry

Darkness seeps from the cracks as they grow wider and longer. Pieces chip and fade, there's pain like that of a cut from a blade.
Sadness, despair, dread and fear all burst forth from cracks that are long and appear.
Memories bring old pain, fear of the future makes you insane. Another crack appears

**and another piece of your heart brakes off and fades away

I'm envious of you two.

You both look so happy, truly in love.
You had to wait until he broke up with her and he finally did. Now you two are together, looking happier than ever.
You're being silly and goofy together, you laying on her lap.
You guys truly look happy.
You love her
And she loves you
I'm truly envious of you two

I'm so worn out

People told me that I was going through so much hurt when I cut myself and was suicidal because God has extremely good days for me in store. I wonder if you're that something that will bring those days. I wonder if you're what will bring those days.

Parents divorcing
Grades failing
Soulmate with another guy
Wishing I would die
In the end I sigh

"Don't let something suffer, put it out of its misery"
That's how it goes right......just let me die if you won't stop my suffering......let me **** myself if you refuse to leave him for me.......because while you're having fun with him.....you're killing your soulmate....let me die tonight......please......let all of my suffering and pain end tonight........

Being so aggravated that you dig your nails into your palm until it bleeds

" I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'd never let you go"

"When all those shadows almost killed your light"

"Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now"

Shivering at the thought of you making even more guy friends, talking to them, and getting to know them better

I wonder if you're scared that I won't ever leave her if I get together with her.
I wonder if you're worried that she'll steal me away and I'll pick her over you

I don't care what your precious monk says, you can't ******* buy salvation so stop sending thousands of dollars and destroying your marriage

You might believe her when she says you're going to be rich but nothing she's said has come true in the four years you started doing this and tell me this. Are you really so ******* greedy you'd throw away your marriage and tear your family apart all for money? You asked me if I would be okay having to keep living this lifestyle over and over again and you can be **** sure I would be. We have everything we need and more so there's no need to be greedy and try to get more.

Nothing good can come from greed and you better know that I'm not sending a dime to your monk because when you send her the last of your money, she's going to leave you in the dirt.

You can't buy salvation in any religion, that's something they can all agree on. You're not following a religion.

**You're following a cult

"If this is love I don't want it, please just take it from me."
"Why does it hurt so much?"

You know you're really out of energy when you can't even get negative energy from painful memories

Does anyone else get angry enough to the point that it blows your sickness away

Slicing open your wrists and forcing yourself to smile

Sext: I want my knife blade to kiss my neck like you used to

Sext: "trace my veins like the tip of my knife used to"

Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor

drip drip
It falls to the floor
drip drip
The vulnerability that comes with opening the door
drip drip
Should it be sealed again
drip drip
Maybe

"Hey!?"
..!...
"Quit spacing out"
shakes blood from blade"

"And you thought you genuinely made her happy"
*heart chips and piece breaks off

Thinking about you going to a party with a guy when you're all dressed up ***** :/

I really wonder about you.
I don't think you're ever going to love me as much as you said you would.
I don't think you'll ever appreciate me staying as much as you should.

I never gave up on you, no matter what you put me through.
Broken promises, heart, skin I never threw you away like putting trash in a bin.
You've taken what I've given, but hardly returned, when will it be my turn?
To take.
To feel love.
When will it be my turn to feel like I'm put above?

You'll never love me like you should because after all.....
**you dumped me and wore another guys hood

In trash
That's all I am to you
You broke me and threw me away
I'm trash to you I'm ******* trash

Sext: make me feel again.....stab me right where my heart used to be before it was abused

walks to cabinet
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? They strung up a man. They say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree."
gets painkillers
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? *opens bottle Where dead man called out, for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree"
*swallows pills

"The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red

Big surprise
Bears demise
Bleeding from his neck

Knife in hand
Bright red band
Bleeding heavily

Tears on cheek
Eyes can't peak
Closed, never to open again

Skin ice cold
No longer bold
Pale drained of life

The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red"

The bullets fly, tearing flesh and skin
Hiding behind crossed arms, blood flying in the wind

Each hit like a huge bite, making the blood take flight

It covers te ground making everything red.

Between crying and screaming in anger

Oh how I hope and pray you're not hanging out with him today

It's not going to be today, you're just going to keep pushing it farther and farther back

I built my walls high and thick to protect what's left of my dying heart

"911 what's your emergency"

I can control my demon now

"Excuse me?"

I can make the mask materialize and show you

Someone please hold me back from breaking something

"911 what's your emergency?"
........
"Hello?"

"Put down the pills M, you've already taken six times the recommended, if you take twelve times the amount you're gonna die. You hear me? You're gonna die if you take that many!"

stares at pills through teary eyes

"Put em down M, you don't have to die"

If she picks him over me I do.....

"You're lucky you survived without any consequences last time when you took seventeen pills but these are pain killers. They will **** you if you take twelve. Don't do it M....don't do it"

*tears fall on pills

"Hah this is gonna be fun"

Well it's been an hour and a half and still nothing.....I'm gonna take a nap....

You're gonna know the pain I went through now.....watching me want to talk to and be around another girl....I hope it doesn't hurt too much even though I know it will.....

Umm should I just go to bed then........?

i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out

She continues to feel the warmth flow through her hands then drip off, staining her hands and clothes. Her cheek is pressed against his head, "shh you'll be okay, you'll be okay"
His face is pale and his breathing is getting weaker, his eyes glossy.
"Don't die....please don't die" she chokes out as she feels him starting to go limp in her arms.
She pulls him to her tighter and buried her face into his hair
"Please don't die...." She whispers
His body finally goes limp, eyes still a little open but with no light.
They sit there. He is dead, slain by his own hand.

whistles*
"There goes another piece of your heart"

"Don't ever let her go to bed crying and upset"
*what about him?

"Tch, you idiot, you didn't listen did you? Now your heart is three fourths gone and you lost consciousness. **** it, now I have to stay out...what a pain in the ***."

"It's been a while since you've given off this much negative energy. This ominous aura that gives you chills............it reminds me of a demon's aura......it's dark and cold"

"Oh M, you look like a wild beast"
walks over toward body
heavy fast breathing, blood flowing from cut across torso
"Your eyes are nice and glossy too, like little pearls"

I don't like it whenever you say you have to leave.....mostly because I don't want you to go, but also because I'm sad you most likely text him while we're not talking....

**** my stupid stomach......I get so ******* prone to getting angry when I'm hungry......