That sad thing is you're still with him even though you know he's using you. Admit it, he's your soulmate not me

picks heart up from the dirt and brushes it off
sighs*
My my, that wasn't very nice. Better clean this up for someone who'll actually treasure it next time.

"911 what's your emergency?"

My parents are yelling at eachother again and it's making me love her more.

"Umm sir, what exactly is the nature of your emergency?"

I love her and I want her to be with her right now

Oh how I hope and pray you're not hanging out with him today

Sometimes I wonder what I should do. I'm laying here feeling empty, alone, and dead inside

"You idiot. If you keep thinking and talking about that your heart will start to crumble away again."

piece of heart breaks off and fades away

"See? I told you."

whistles*
"There goes another piece of your heart"

You're gonna know the pain I went through now.....watching me want to talk to and be around another girl....I hope it doesn't hurt too much even though I know it will.....

I wonder what you thought while I went on a "date" with her....I wonder if you were hurting....

I don't like it whenever you say you have to leave.....mostly because I don't want you to go, but also because I'm sad you most likely text him while we're not talking....

drip drip
It falls to the floor
drip drip
The vulnerability that comes with opening the door
drip drip
Should it be sealed again
drip drip
Maybe

"Hey!?"
..!...
"Quit spacing out"
shakes blood from blade"

Cool

It's not going to be today, you're just going to keep pushing it farther and farther back

Someone please hold me back from breaking something

How quick i am to leave permenant reminders on my body for moments of psychological pain

But then again, those moments are excruciating and overwhelming, swalloing all other thoughts

"It's been a while since you've given off this much negative energy. This ominous aura that gives you chills............it reminds me of a demon's aura......it's dark and cold"

Would you yell at me to hold your hand and touch your face while you held my limp body and brushed my pale face?

You know you're really out of energy when you can't even get negative energy from painful memories

"And you thought you genuinely made her happy"
*heart chips and piece breaks off

We look at each other a lot, pretending to look at the teacher but looking the others way to see where the others eyes are fixed. I wonder what you think when we play this game of looking at each other then darting our eyes away when we're caught.
I wish I could know what you're thinking when I look at you.

Trust is so hard to rebuild after it's been destroyed......

I'm laying down listening to music letting all the sadness flow out of my eyes and heart....

Sext: I want my knife blade to kiss my neck like you used to

"If this is love I don't want it, please just take it from me."
"Why does it hurt so much?"

"Don't let something suffer, put it out of its misery"
That's how it goes right......just let me die if you won't stop my suffering......let me **** myself if you refuse to leave him for me.......because while you're having fun with him.....you're killing your soulmate....let me die tonight......please......let all of my suffering and pain end tonight........

I wonder if you're scared that I won't ever leave her if I get together with her.
I wonder if you're worried that she'll steal me away and I'll pick her over you

Sext: "trace my veins like the tip of my knife used to"

If you get sick at the thought of someone else touching me
**why are you touching someone else

furiously slashes
"Come on, come on, come on! You movements are so slow! It makes me sick that you're the 'king' of this place"
feels sharp pain in stomach
"You're not worthy to be 'king'. You're way too weak"
starts pulling out blade
"You're nothing.....
pulls out blade completely
....But trash"
blood sprays from wound

My my, someone was a little hasty

"All I can feel is sadness flowing from his blade"

"Wow it upset you that much? Gotta love social media eh m?"

"Upset m?"
...............
"Sad?"
...............
"Are you gonna say anything?"
...............
"Silence?"
*weakly nods head

I'm so worn out

Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor

When she holds his hand back and you die inside

Thinking about you going to a party with a guy when you're all dressed up ***** :/

**** my stupid stomach......I get so ******* prone to getting angry when I'm hungry......

You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.

"911 what's your emergency?"
........
"Hello?"

Why is it that when I want to die, I feel **immortal

Punch the wall until you make it bleed with your blood

You've never seen me with another girl have you? You've never seen me smile and talk with any other girl but you. You've never heard me talk about how cute another girl is. You've never seen me have an interest for another girl. I saw you looking at me while I was with her, I wonder what you thought

Sext: listen to our song and feel your heart crumble in your chest

I'm envious of you two.

You both look so happy, truly in love.
You had to wait until he broke up with her and he finally did. Now you two are together, looking happier than ever.
You're being silly and goofy together, you laying on her lap.
You guys truly look happy.
You love her
And she loves you
I'm truly envious of you two

i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out

**** I think it is a demon, I'm getting nauseous and my head is starting to spin. I started hearing the voice while I was gathering energy for a little to stay awake.

"Sir you've called this line 3 times today, do you actually have an emergency?"

Yes. I don't want her to have anymore nightmares. I need to kiss her now and make her forget about the blood.

"Sir please stop calling this line"

You're essay was really sweet.....and I'm not rejecting it but...it's just not going to be that simple to get me back....it's going to take anywhere from 6 months to a year to prove you've really changed and years to have me trust you as much as I did when we first started.....I want to say those words again but I can't....not when I feel like you won't treat me the same way I treated you....I told you I had standards this time and that I hoped you took my words to heart....and I still hope you did....because if you can't give me loyalty, consistency, and thinking about my feelings before you do something, I can't accept you....I won't take you back....I know what my heart deserves this time and I won't let it get anything less than what it deserves

I'm a stranger to myself