A season of hope ! Brown , curious , engaging eyes that sparkled now fatigued ! A curt , weathered reflection . Gun metal gray skies encircle my shop window image , sunbeams reflect amidst the city sidewalks ! A boisterous romantic , religiously travelled , graciously relegated to the comfort of familiar streets ! Times mechanism , Hades cheated with each tick , a conundrum cloaked in temerity courtesy of advanced years !

An open mind, & a heart that unwinds,
like a movie film.
Unrolling, & revealing my love life.
20 years of age, & no longer looking forward,
towards a next page.
Lost hope in finding love, at a young age.
As I write the scenes,
in which will be seen on screen.
I am filled with rage, & disbelief.
I have given my all to past lovers,
& was given nothing in return,
but heartache, & pain.
I've always known my worth,
& knew, that is not what I deserve.
Realized when it was wrong,
when actors did not belong.
Had to move on, erase the scene,
start over, rewrite, change the scenery,
& continue my story.
Alone, living life, reconnecting with myself.
Until one day, he arrived.
Someone different in appearance, & intelligence.
Shared the same personality, thoughts, sense of humor.
We were each others comfort zone,
talked to one another about anything, & everything.
Perfect in my eyes, if you asked me.
At least, that's what I thought.
Until I was reliving the same old chapters,
once again.
They say,
"Even nothing is something",
or "Better to have loved, & lost, than to have never loved at all".
In deed, I agree.
Yet, if your heart is no longer beating,
in hopes of one day finding "the one",
& finally feeling love.
Do these sayings still apply, or even matter?
Yet, the movie continues, as my life shall go on,
with, or without someone by side.
Maybe, alone, lost, with no love to share, nor feel.
Yet, living.
But maybe one day,
when my hair turns gray,
I am no longer afraid,
& my soul is slowly slipping away.
Love will find its way,
& it'll be too late.
Because when I finally feel again,
I will not have the strength to stay,
to hopefully hear them sincerely say..
"I Love You", & finally feel the truth.
To hear, & see it from you..

I have not been visible to the eyes
of those, in which, I wish knew I am still alive.
Unseen like the pain I have within this skin I am in.
Unheard of, like the beat of my heart.
Lost in a black void, yet I cannot tell it apart
from reality, & fantasy
My precense is no more.
I have walked through the unknown door,
now I'm at the point of no return.
I might have found home, in this lonely place, with no scenery.
No feelings, sounds, nor emotions to worry me.
I've come to lose my memory, to love, to see, to hear, to feel, to taste, & to hope.
It was the world in which I've been chosen to be a prisoner in, that did not want me to live,
& finally cut the rope,
not knowing that death,
will make me live again.

As I lay on my death bed
I over hear them say
"There's not much time left"
Those words repeat in my head
like echoes, while I beg for thread
Yet, all I can think about
is laying my head on your chest
a soothing heart beat
that doesn't sound like death
Since mine is close to it
I won't let it rest
until my last breath to say
you have been my strength