I was carried away from the garden,
in the arms of a man
who stole my soul.
He first got me addicted to him,
then the ice.
He now owns
my mind
my body
my soul,
and there is no way to escape him.
I don’t yet want to escape him.

None of my friends know about the time I spent addicted to the ice.
I was losing weight faster than normal,
over 20 pounds in three weeks,
and I just said it was stress.
I had dark circles under my eyes
and my skin lost all color.
I picked at every little flaw
and tried to hide it all.
They will never know about my time with the devil.
Or how he still owns my soul.

I still love you,
even though just seeing you hurts me.
I still love you,
even though you were clear that it was over
I still love you,
even though you never loved me.

how can i tell you any of my secrets?
how can i trust you with my truths?
you who sent me away
you who locked me up
i am the bird
and you are the dog
your words the gun that shot me down
my wings clipped
my tongue tied
my voice silenced
i love you
even as you dig your teeth into my dead flesh