When you gave me a tarot reading,
in a park in the middle of the night,
he was sitting right across from me.
I did a three card reading.
My present came up as the devil.
None of us knew the meaning,
but we were all shocked.
As we looked it up,
it all became clear.
The card means unhealthy relationships,
addiction.
It represents your shadow self,
and i am constantly held back by myself.

I knew what we had was temporary
all because it was supposed to be
“no strings attached”.
Everyone knows how this story ends,
one party catches feelings and is left heartbroken,
until, magically, the other person feels the same.
But that isn’t how my story ends.
Im left longing for him
while some other girl lay with him.

I still love you,
even though just seeing you hurts me.
I still love you,
even though you were clear that it was over
I still love you,
even though you never loved me.

how can i tell you any of my secrets?
how can i trust you with my truths?
you who sent me away
you who locked me up
i am the bird
and you are the dog
your words the gun that shot me down
my wings clipped
my tongue tied
my voice silenced
i love you
even as you dig your teeth into my dead flesh