March 3rd: When the sun has left us and all is dark. Keep smiling. The night may be a long battle and you may lose this battle. But the war will be won when the sun returns to liberate you in the morning.

March 4th: Even though our conversations have died., we always talk in my dreams.

March 5th: I’ll accept you for who you are. I hope you can do the same for me.
I can't hide behind this mask forever. & You can't keep pretending to play everyone's fool.

March 6th: Little One, I’m sorry your “Father” never cared. I'll make it up to you <3

December 24th: Slow down,
breathe, and relax.
Save your problems
for tomorrow
and calm your racing heart
Today.
December 25th: We pave the walkways
into the hearts of others
with ipods and gaming systems.
It's sad.
December 26th: The anxiety is over.
December 27th: Everything and everyone is beautiful.

Shun the sinner.
Love the sinner
hate the sin.
**** THAT.
God in essence
would essentially
be nothing more than love.
Which is
a
feeling that in the end,
everything is going to be okay
because
we're in
something much larger than
our
deepest fears,
our
biggest dreams
and
most importantly
ourselves.

* So when they preach hate,
that is apparently
sent from god.
How are you,
100%
sure that, whoever they're
talking to is
just pretending to
be something
they're not.

I'm tired of
being
******* over.
No, I don't
wanna *****
uhh
screwdriver.

Get out of
the shed.
Ya ******'
tool.

I'm kind of like neon darkness.

Black is the new
everything
&
everyone,
shares the same

lucid,
translucent,
illuminate

dead-day-dreams.

Sorry, for
spiking the punch.
But it isn't a party
until someone passes out.

Find the weakest link.
**** em' up
&
leave them behind
to die.

Dried up
on the side of the
road.

A hit & run
on the highway home.

Sometimes, you have to
strip

down,
down,
down.

to the
lowest
of
places
just to break yourself even.
</3

**** gets better.
<3

Quicksand
and those sketchy  
day dreams.
Are
dragging me
down river.

To Go.

Drunk dancing
at the
Devil's beat.

</3
As I lay,
here.

Drowning,
in all your liquid lies.
With my right hand
above water.

Of course.

Every fallen angel,
sides down the slippery
stripped-strip,
strippers pole.

Onto,
darker day dreams
of swimming,
singing
&
swing-dancing
with Lucy.

Tap-tap-tap
dancing
with the
Fairy Master
Lucipher,
himself.

Sometimes people are just misunderstood.

Until then,
I'm going to keep driving
in the
darkness
until the sun rises
and brings me light.
So
I can see
through all this
bull-****
traffic.
So I can find
my way home.
Either way,
one day.
Someday,
that's a nice thought.
It's going to happen.

A. terrible
T.oday.
M.akes for a
    tolerable.
    Tomorrow.

So fill,
your
hollow-heart;
up with anything
you can find.

Wake up,
take the pills.

Dumb-ing myself
down.
Because apparently
I "need" to chill
& numb the **** out.

I'm raising my
punch glass
and
screaming cheers
for
survival.

I'm just so-******'
numbing myself
over.

</3
Until
it's my
time
to shine.
in the
sun.
<3

It'll rise, soon enough.

Imma keep
screamin' at these
brick walls.

All day.
Every day.

While my clock is still
    tick
    tick
    tick-ing
.
I will be
all black
&
nothing more.

Until they
bury me underneath
the fresh black
****.
Soiled,
wet dreams
&
nightmare realities.

Of a life
that starts
later.

For now,
I am
only
One wing out the cocoon.

Home has
never ever been the same.
Since,
your soul went away
to
some place better.

Hey Mama,
it's
been
a hot-hot
couple of years
spent
burning in hell.
Here,
without you.

Do you
Remember,
the days of yesterday
&
all of the seconds
we
blocked out,
blacked out,
&
burned out
on every
dream we had.

I Still got
that grocery list
you wrote me
&
when I have the $.
I'll buy myself out of this

I'm coming home,
the second
my
clock stops.

Promise.

I'm just trying not to feel the need
to ***** myself.

Over & Out
Of the
Poor White Trash Society
class-classy.

I am very much so.
Not my fault.
You think Imma
*****-worth-less
than you.

That's the
Price of being Pretty.

Some "people" are just praying .

That you will play pretend *******
with them,
for the right price.
Of course,
money is alway$ the motive.

So he'll
Flash dat Ca$h
& Dem bling-bling-ring$.

Prayin' he can afford to
Pay, people to pitty play up
on him.

But I don't play or put out.
Anymore.

I am not a *******.
$ can't win me over.

You can find someone else
to drink with
or
experiment with.
Whatever you call it.

I'm just going to coast
it riding as the

6th wheel.

Till hell freezes over.
Then can I,
crash,
burn,
& fall
all the way down
the

6th route

till I hit
the

6th exit.

That will
Bring
me
Back into your arms, again.

I feel like  
a lot of us
are driving around on an
capital "E"
for emphasis,
Emotional
round-a-bout
Difficult.
Tricky.
On the self-sticky note.
I have no idea
what the ****
I'm doing.
Guess I'm gunna
find out
when I
hit the wall in a
CRASH.
Or
I'll just
drive through the
cycle and make it work.
**** GETS BETTER.

My conclusion was
that because people
are animal-like
in our human
nature,
most of us always feel the
need to belong.
Which the possibility
of having
everyone
in the world
believing that
they belong
is brilliant and beautiful.
& If it was
dealt
in a pure form,
not laced,
not bought from a shady dealer.
Suicide probably
wouldn't happen
so much.

Their handshakes
leak a liquid lie.
An inception,
meant to cause
a deception
that they
"really"
care
about you.
The ******* is
infectious
and is
infecting
the world with
false hopes
and promised
paved paths
to future let downs.
Paid for by the people.
Made apparently for the people.
Yet the people can't even participate,
or have a chance to appreicate any
of the fruits they harvested
on a larger scale.
Because society has a caste system
and no matter how
civilized,
we claim to be.

My fellow *****-ups
sick of being ****** over
"****-ups"
Now is the time to sharpen our swords
and strengthen our
mental armor.
A battalion of
dark, black clouds
are walking all over us.
Stealing everything we have
in little tiny shattered glass
broke path ways.
Until they can legally
get their
grime-slime
lime
green colored hands
on
everything we
have.

T.C.F-ucked
me over
to the other
red side of the bed.

But
only for you.
My sweet
broke-back,
***-backwards,
cold-heart-ed
crooks.

Next time,
there will be
no
bail-outs.

Life exists!
On the other side
Of the drive-thru window.

If you can
look both ways,
before
you cross
the border.

You could
just be a
Bandit,
racing along
the highway to hell.

Diving a pick-up
truck
with black
angel wings
painted on
the back.
Windows.

To Trend-Set.
Just Jet.

Set.

Yourself,
up
with the sun
&
incinerate.
/
Re-Create
yourself.
Out of the ashes,
you once called your own.

I'm reading
between the lines.
So I can
have the knowledge
to overcome stupidity.
Negativity.
Biting my tongue.
Biding my time.
Paying lip service
to negative sermons,
served up
on a "free"
all you can eat
*******
buffet.

So while,
I sit here and roll
with this
like a joint.
Care-free & easy.
In the back of my head,
I feel like
the force
that's being represented.
Is all mightily
*******
that his
ungenious
wanna be
vigilantes,
giving
him or her
or whatever
a bad name.
Talk about infectious
*******.
No, I'm talking about religion.

I'm sick and tired of playing
Your
boring,
backwards ,
board games.  
Life and Death.
I'm alive,
You’re just playing dead again.
So since,
you don’t
want to play anymore.
Can you just give me back my
clothes and get the **** out of my life?

Now,
before you go
& leave me again.
To see places
that are six feet under
with people who are
much,
much
meaner
than I ever was.

I’d like to thank you for taking
My heart
All the way
Down,
down,
down
to hell with you.
On the greener side,
my heart will never be on my sleeve
Again.

Have fun, with all the other liars & cheaters down there.
I'll see you there,
when I decide to play dead.
Give me another 60 years,
unlike you.
I'm not a quitter.
</3

Now,
the entire world can see
just how shallow our mental shores
really are.

Yeah.

Keep telling
the audience, the cameras,
and the rest of the
******* world.
That I ******* this
up.
For us.

Truth is:
I was the ***** & you were the screwdriver.
So, who *******, what up?

You really,
just need to
shut the **** up.
Cause you know you're never
going
to
Nut Up.
& The saying is nut up or shut up.

right, fight, light, bright.
I'm shining on with out you.

The sand, within
our hour glass
marriage
Has run out.
Our life together is over.

What's up?
Divorce court!
A.K.A
just sitting here fighting with my
X,
like two wolves
over a dead deer’s heart.

Waiting in line,
getting high
off
of the
anticipation
or um
precipitation.
To participate
in washing
away,
all of
the impurities
created by
yesterday's
mistakes.
Deep, dark,
the darkest shade of
black.
Change is *******,
very
soon.
the humidity
is Mother's way
of hinting at it.

I need to
forget
about
Frictions' force
and
Gravity's grip.
So,
I can
eliminate
all limitations.
To
One day,
will up,
a
will power
strong enough,
tough enough,
to
fly away
from fear.
In a
fast
free-fall.
Hopefully
I'll
fill
the
World's
empty wine glass.
If I fail,
I'll still
raise my glass
to drink the punch
and die
trying.

The world
is a stage.
Patiently waiting
for
You.
To take the mic
and be the star
You
are.
Art is the
nuclear bomb
that can
silence those
**** spreaders
&
shut em' up
for good.

Fairy wing's
are
Karma's
curse,
for the
crooked-twins-on the left.

O'
the
dark-side
of the womb.

I had a twin Sister.
Until
she ate all of our food.
So I ,
I ate her.
Instead.

But she got the last laugh.
I got the curse
&
she got a martyrs
v.i.p
pass up to heaven.

Who's the bigger fish now?

The Bad News Bears
may bring a
flash flood
tear storm ,
to the
beach-rockers
by the bay.

But that won't stop them.
They're
just.
stuck in the mud.
Cause some people
had
to
spill their problems
on your
calm beach.

The world is
a
cynical/circular/cycle.

But time doesn't exist.
You'll always be here.
In the web
or out the cocoon.

So smoke a joint
and
check your weave.

Youz actin' a lil'
cray-cray,
Bay-Bay.

Wait,
wait, waiting
tables.
Waiting on my back,
waiting for you.
To come
and take
me to
Love's Bath House.
So we can get clean
together.

After all
love is
a shared feeling
anyways.

I want to go
and bathe,
in a liquid love pool,
cause
the city water
just doesn't feel
clean
anymore.

The world's got a
pistol,
pin pointed
perfectly,
between
my
hazy/hazel
eyes
gaze.

Pull the trigger
or surrender
yourself
*****.

You can't **** what has
already defeated the "life-time"

So,
**** it.
Or,
**** it.

Load it up
aim
& fire,
only burns  
people in formal attire.

Bang.
Bang.
Boom.
Joke's on you
I'm already
d-e-a-d.

You are what you think.
You're a diamond in the rough.
But what you don't know
is that you're worth
more than all the shiny rocks
are
combined.
Then multiplied by
10.

$$$
can't buy you.
If people could be auctioned off,
just know.
You would be the
one that
was so valuable,
no body could even
afford
ti bid on.

We can never be together but,
I wish we could.

Fatal attraction,
will always
grab the
Grim Reaper & his scythes,
attention.
But this time,
dying doesn't
look like,
an eternity of lonely nights. ,

It's
Almost,
well,
actually
it is
a
tempting thought
for a
split-slit
wrist
second.
Given the right causes.

But.

I'm here
in the
Hearse behind
you.
Playing passenger
on the
69-blood-line.
I called shot-gun.

We're way-out
on the highway home.

Only
7
more counties
2
go through.

Til I can see those,
better-places
&
your
pretty, familiar face.

Let's have a
photo shoot!

Its "time" to take
some snap shots
of your
soul.

You've been given;

10 years
&
10 frames.

To capture
that
sandy second,
minute.

Before it slides down,
to the very
bottom of
the hour glass.


Click-click-click
&
I'm Counting

3

2

1

smile.

The world is your
photographer.
&
The people
around you will
play
pretend
paparazzi!

More often than
you've been told to believe.

More often than
they say.

All the
money a blank check
is worth for,
could never compare to
the true value,
of an
individual.
There's always
something
special
for everyone.
Cause everyone
is
something
special.
The world just
doesn't
want you
to know,
that you matter.
Cause they're afraid you're
going to
change
a
cycle,
that's been orbiting'
the earth,
since before we were here.


A circle-cycle, in it's simplicity is a double negative.
Like the Devil getting cozy
on a Demon's shoulder.
Double whammy.
Stop.
**** this.

I'm just cashed.
Today.
Tomorrow,
will
be
BETTER.

&
When
that
door,
finally
opens up.
In a
loud
thunderous
applause.

From
up,
up- up
and away
from here.

It's going to
rain,
rain,
rain.
Until
all the pain is
washed away.

After all;
raindrops
are just
tears from
all the
people
who have left
everyone behind.
To
become angels.

You know,
the ones
we miss
the most.

I think,
that when it rains,
the angels
are just
sayin'
that they
miss us too.

Flying off
to the
freedom fields.
To
catch
those
free
&
freeing
fireflies
with my
magic-magnetic
real-life
dream catcher.

Can't catch me in
pink.
Bubble
gum
goth.

I be
honey bee.

Or maybe

The Prince Of Darkness,
just watered down.

You know.
Diluted,
with glitter.

Sparkling.
Sulking in the
Sunlight.

Going to bed at
breakfast.
&
Waking up at
dinner.

I'm runnin'
on
******'s time
these days.

You can not break,
what
has already been
shattered.

But,
if you insist,
you can keep trying.
;)

I'll just start,
Cutting
out
all
catty chatter.

To sit,
to spit,
&
to sulk.

Inside
the silence,
of
a
half-dead
1/2 way house.

Don't lead me on.
If you are
just going to
Drag me down.

I don't have the
"TIME"
for it.

I could wake-up...
"DEAD",
in the morning.

You never know.

When our <3's
spread their
butterfly-free-flying wings.

Just fly-high,
up & away to  
an atmosphere
of good thoughts.

Good things never last.

If you get caught in the web
of a monster;
that is much
larger
than the hungry, ***** spider
you were running away from.
In the first place.

Just remember **** gets better.
&
Sometimes we all feel like this.

You've got one wing
out the cocoon.
You're halfway there.

One day.
Some day.
It
will
happen.

Even if
you're,
not ready
prepared
or expecting it to.

When the other wing
follows
the first
& you're
no longer,
a crawling
caterpillar,
on the
cracked out,
crooked
cement-circle.

You must.
Spread your wings
and fly off
the
very top
of your
heightened
fears.

To the arms
of an old,
dusty dream.

The hour hand's on 10.
&
The minute's on 4.

I think,
I know.

Half of me died
with you.

Way back,
when,
October nights weren't
so
******'
lonely.

Until my other half
gives in.
I'll be your;

1/2-ghost,
earth-bound.
Sun.

For the "time" being,
I'll catch you on the
astral plane.
&
I'll see you in my dreams.

</3

When your life line
stops running,
across your body's
support screen.

What time
will your clock
stop at?

Time doesn't exist,
I will
ALWAYS
be here.
<3

July 18th, 2010.

Those sacred songs suffocated,
when our books were set on fire.
We wasted time.
Worrying about something that wasn't going to happen
for a while.
Anxiety is just the common cold of 2010.
We've spent all of our $
And still there is no cure.
I have a high tolerance.
And you have a hefty load of prescriptions.
So tell me,
which one of us is going to die first?
Predestination does not care.

But the Grim Reaper does.

Stitchin' up a
Snitch's ******.
So he don't
steal or
snitch out someone
that had nothing to do with
his something
or another.

Guess, I'll quit acting so ****
bipolar.
When,
you quit acting like
a lazy,
Lil' Liar.

You blew it.
&
Messed everything up for me.

So
I'll just hit you back
&
**** your **** up.

So you don't have to
do it.
Yourself.
</3

Cause you're way
2
cute,
2
cry
over a

    Big-***.
    Stupid-***.
    Lazy-***
    Broke-***

air-head.

That somehow
caught you in a web.
& made you
uhhh-****-ted.

Get it?
Get it?
Got it!
Good.

Be like the
Brookie Monster
and know
U R A
rare ruby.

That should be
hidden,
at the bottom
of the
cookie jar.
SO no one can steal your beauty.
For their own *****-gain.

Sleeping alone *****.
But nothings worse
than waking up next
to
a
skanky/******
Lust-****.

Welcome,
to the
Fabulous Lifestyle
of the
Wonderful,
Magical,
Spit-Catching
Idiot-Magnets.

The World
is just a bed
full of.
Roaches,
Leaches
and everything else parasitic.

That only want
to drag you down
&
****-****-****.
What little
life is left,
with-in,
you're half-way
dead.

Still-breathing corpse.

Good luck!
To you,
Kind Soul.

I hope the World ends,
before it can take-break- away
your sugar-sweetness.

Lemon-drops
Always taste bitter
even if their rims are coated with sugga.

Sugar is better
off alone
sometimes.

End of Poem.

I’am the
Whiney,
Amy Winehouse
Wannabee.
That’s going to blow myself,  
away
before the Whispers of wicked winds can.

I can’t smile anymore.
If you have to always
stab
me in the back.
My heart lives on the other side
of my body.
If ya wanted to....

I could get you;
a steak knife
and you could
tear into my heart
like it’s
a medium rare steak.

If it would make you happy.
I’ll even bring the A-1.
Cause I care that much.

To the
Easy-******
speedy
speed-balling'
speed-demon
drivers.

There­ isn't a
circuit
that will
race you
to my bed room.
I don't endorse
NASCAR.

But if you
can drive
twenty five.
There is
a road
that will
get you there
eventually.

Like you're only
driving me
around.

Until you
can
break my brake-line
at one hundred
butterfly heart-beats
a minute.

I know
You,
just
want to
speed me up
so fast that
I won't even be able
to survive,
when you
hit the brakes
so hot &
hard

Just to send me flying across
the
Lust Lane.

I need some band-aids.
My heart cracked on
the pavement
& now
my eyes can't stop leaking.

I deep throated
a rosary once,
so
I could feel
closer to
God.

After that,
I went
to his
"friends" house
for
Sunday Morning Mass
&
I went up in-flames.
Uhhhh
I
Guess
I'm just
the
anti-christ
super-star?

No.
I'm just
a
Black haired
Bandit.

I see that
you're messing
with
her thermostat again.
Comatose is a wonderful degree.
Isn't it?

Someday,
He will
abandon the circular life,
to live
the line life.

For
"life" has no
need to explain its course.

Life simply is.
Life simply happens.
&
Life simply exists.
Even when you're "dead".

Questions lurk below every theory.
But skeptics,
can be
two-faced
coin-*****.
Sometimes.
So ask away & Find out for yourself.

Always remember:
That the Dumps
have
never
been
adequate to inhabit.

Fight or Flight.

Flight,
is my only option.
High up.
High on.
Out o' here.

In times of desperation,
it is understandable,
to be influenced by instinct.

However,
it is inexcusable
to forever live
in desperation.

You deserve better.
Cause you're the best. <3