It is a facade
When I tell you
' ******* and I dont need you'
Its mask
When I screamed for space
Its still foggy
Why I let go of your fingers
Its misty
Why i forcefully tried to ignore you
Its all naught
Its nothing
Its me
Cz there is you everywhere in everybit of my thoughts, body ,mind
There is you in my mornings and nights
I wake up to you
I see u in all the mirrors
I catch your scent in every rain
Every sunny days remind me of you

Dont listen to my words
Don't care for my knives ,my bullets
Cz maa you're ...

He kept the cartridge
In a shoebox of trainers
With pine corns
with lego
with a broken kaleidoscope
with the tiny jack-in-the-box
with a chipped tooth
with a stained vignette


he wiped the dust off the yearbook
and smiled the first rhyme his son wrote 30 years ago

I can shake the branch bathed in raindrops
See the sun from the north as we used to
You can climb on the rock with the ancient moss
Hiding beneath the maple leaves
Your eyes bloom at the sleepy (coral)sun
Tears make their way from the leaves to my sleeves
i see you

i would draw you
                               with a chapped charcoal ;the cheapest kind
i would paint you
                                with purple hair
                                          violet eyes
                                          green lips
                                          lavender teeth
                                          burgundy skin
                  hands outstretched in a beguiling teal
                  brows lifted in an audacious amber
                  with so much indigo behind you
(and i would smudge it all
until i see an explosion
of shades and hues and tones and lullabies)

shadows were my allies ,
i played with the maybes ,
i laughed at the nothings ,
i scared off the questions ,
i pranced around in the green in the blue in the shady brown
used to
used to ,
once when i thought i saw a dragon in the alley and wished for a ghost

Why is it
That when it rains
All I look for is a closed window
For the pleasure of opening
The creaky door
That everyone said should be closed
For the pleasure of getting that rusty smell on my chapped fingers getting mixed with the petrichor
For the pleasure of letting the aroma of bake out the window

living with a past
screeches echoing through the serene halls
a spectre like future
dimensionless
driving through the meadow not paying respects
spewing out someones words someones thoughts
moving as someone else
it scares

when the wind hushes and the leaves wavers,
when the earth exhales as loud as my thoughts ,
when the jogger run past unnoticed,
when the same song is played in a loop ,
when my hand pauses above the keys
it scares me

my roots they go deep ,past the red river through the brown sand traipsing along another crazy root
my roots they run so deep
past the point of revival past the point of control past the face of mine
my roots going so deep
it scares me

I think I get
Why the crazy man said
The death of ME is not
The death of me
Its the Death of me
I just dont get
Why he laughed so loud
''Your ignorance and my reluctance''
He'd called the poem

rain bid goodbye
sun bowed
there will be no more lies
and i will pretend to be affected

The repugnant taste of sympathy made her face cringe
He never saw her perfect imperfections
He only saw the what she was robbed off
And she could not scream
And she could not sing

i love the solitude ;the pregnant silence
i love the loud sands ;the boastful daisies
i love to walk on beach;not to play with waters
         just to see the sun ,the sand and the souls
i am tired of explaining it
i am tired
                    tired of the elements that made me frown
when i saw my reflection ;
when i felt the questions
so there it is
i am tired

Met you through the indigo letters
no trace of pretense no speck of doubts
you wore you and i me
the plans and aims our claims everything shed down
cocooning ourselves in the quilt of old dreams and new memories
just them letters by our side
no realty no facts .
even now i wonder
howwas it that ;our night was warmer than any day anywhere

hidden beneath the contemptuous blubber
ears muffledto calls of "delilah"s they yelled
the trees the benches ,the symbols, the paperplanes ,alphs betas .....
and you
i see them all
the trees you look at when you are  irritated; through the stained windows of politics class
the bench you sit on with an obtuse misty veil over your eyes
the symbols you drew on the chem text book
halo of nihilistic delusions you wear

i wonder who see through your rock hard pretenses
wonder who will catch you be the the pearl

(hope u will make this the proem to ur story)

they gave her a scarlett letter
and she didnt hide
she showed it off
(wanted to steal away their preconcieved prejudicial contentment)

what is the colour of my blood
i see red and it reminds me i have a life to live
i see crimson reminding me of my responsibilities
i see dark bright and spreading red and it tells me of
               the history it want to imprint

i gave you a hand
you gave me a glance
i gave you a rose
you gave me a smile
i gave you my heart
you gave me  a kiss
no more can i ask
for nothing more i have

If I could be impossible
I will escape from the brightness of reality
To the lulling hypnotic
ocean of illusive dreams

I enjoy the beauty of
.                               the music of the silence
.                                the colours of black
.                                 the motion of the stillness
.                                  the eternity of heartbeat
For those beauty concealed and unseen are the most beautiful

i want to be singing like the nightingale
i want to be eternal like the pheonix
i want to be as fierce as the lion
i want to be as strong as the stone castles
i want be anything i'm not now
even if i'm happy now
then i want to laugh at those
who shed their name for being something they are not

what is music to heart
an enchanting embrace that gives birth to feelings
or an incredulous cure to all the maladies of life
or a comforting smile that breaks the chains of pessimism
or walking, talking, living poetry

Maybe i was deaf and mute and even crippled with a foggy mind
But i heard your song
even called out for you
An impossibility of a mirage turning to a reality
The way you glanced made the uncertainity that quilted my mind ,melt

I danced to the silent music ,i mocked the nightingales
the agony was forgotten ,far far away
the mind that adored fretting about the unknown future,
fell silent ,closed his eyes
somehow my soul spoke
                          the tomorrows are never here
                              the yesterdays are never to be seen
                                    left with a blooming today
                                         left with the miraculous life
His language was alien but i grasped each word
Love hath power to melt the stones
stones that locked me in ,made me blind , made the world strange
love hath power that make everything divine
everything and anything

The chagrin of losing incarnates itself
letting the heart drown and drench
in the pool of shattered hopes
All we left with are those paths we never took
should haves and if only s feeding on our self
and the music we embrace are the silent notes of agony
Welcoming pain as a reminder of being
blinded by the darkness of fate
The doors are open but all we see is the window thats closed
the chagrin never leaves the heart
squeezing out the reminders for a smile
the chagrin of losing kills the hope and
the dreams we adored will be turned to stone