My head is pitch black
I can’t see anything in the back
where every answer lies,
I cannot reach beyond the line
that I’ve created for myself
to keep me out of my own mind
and the dark places that lie beyond the light.

He tried to put out a fire
that he deliberately set.

With all my heart,
I hope you know
we were a part of someone’s abstract art
you were blue and I was red
we’ve never crossed the intersection
but now we did
it was a mess
that I can’t address
because I can’t explain with my words
what I truly expected from you
You made my heart warm
you were my blanket in the cold
you were my diary
my pandora’s box
my secrets were yours
and yours were mine
I trusted you with my life
even when you were the one drowning
and I was in the water with you
we were anchored to the bottom
by the people we’ve never forgotten
because they caused us the most pain
you were my band-aid when I was bleeding
you were my water when I was deprived
you were my flashlight in a dark cave
you were a part of me that it seems I’ve never forgave
because you left me
but it seems that I still need you
because you’ve dug yourself deep inside of me
and are sitting in between my skin and bones
and if I try to get you out
I’ll hurt myself more than I have before
because getting rid of you would mean
ripping out a piece me.

We were once friends
had everything
nothing to lose.
Now i’ve lost everything
and him too.

A father figure,
he loved and cared
he cheered and laughed
he smiled and hugged
but now I can’t seem to find him
what was once there now is gone
my heart is empty
aching for love like his.