my father
slave owner
broke my family
wrapped around his thumb
mother stung by his mastery
sisters and brothers in cages
and then there's me
the ******* fire
fired by who i'm supposed to be
not doing my job by not letting him hit me

my father one day decided to teach me
and i knew that would be the day he kills me
and he did
for a songwriter
to force me to write a song
is like putting a gun to my head and saying dance
and thats when you've crossed the line into hell

**you do not teach a poet how to write
thats just it

here we are again
the same place we were in the beginning
i'm back to who i am
and you're back to thinking you're wining
thinking that i gave into your plan
but really
your giving into my plan
the plan to realize
just how and where i stand
i stand alone
without a life or a home
because you think
i'm just a child
and i should be left alone
there is no hope for me
and if you were in my mind
you would be crying
because of what you thought of me

The biggest lie a human has ever told themselves
**it's all gonna be alright

What happens to those kids you leave behind
The kids that you always made feel
Empty inside
You went on to collage
With your perfect little life
But what happened to your friend
When you left them with tears I their eyes

is your hatred for me
worth saving you?

dear josh
noble in all your words
i hope one day
your prayers will be heard
but alas
there is no body on earth
that will ever mean as much
as your kind words
if we meet again
it should not be with someone else's skin
so i bid you adue
until the night comes to an end

and she was in your sight
long enough for you to know your place*
your thoughts were captured in a box
your finger wishing for another taste
a perfect melody of two
a broad memory of few

**my thoughts are captured in a box while i burn in hell for you

When I was younger
My mom said I could do anything
So I became a nobody
And yes it was my idea
So stop trying to help me
I've made it all my life
I don't need help now
If I needed it
I wouldn't have been able to keep it from you
For so long

the knowledge and wisdom of closure

remember that girl you fought for no reason?
she's already getting abuse from home.
remember that guy who would rather dance then play football?
he was beat up while they screamed "no ****"
remember that women you looked up to?
she started from where you are
up
some people don't have the strength to be like them
some people don't have questions they need to answer
some people don't realize
not everyone is cured from cancer

some people don't realize
suicide is a problem
and nobody realizes
it take more than one person to solve it

What's your name stranger
Why can't I know
All I want is to be your friend
But you lie
And you don't trust ME enough to do so

So maybe I should do the same
Not trust you
Not love you
Lie to you
I don't care
But I don't have to respect you
That's not fair

what are we gonna do now that the ocean is cold as the snow on the ground?
why do you look at me now that the tears are dried up?
and you try to make me smile
as if the lightning didn’t strike my heart
as if this family isn’t torn apart

listen
Did you hear her heart stop beating?
broken
while her trust, it starts to beat
and
wake up
do you really think she needs your hopeless and terrible terrible love

take out what they tell you
take out all the lies
the on thing that can bring them down
is the element of surprise

pull your heart out
so they won't hurt you
pull your soul out
say they can't make a demon out of you

pull away from the thought telling you
let them win
pull away from the sorrow telling you
let them pull you in

you can get in my face
then try to pretend i'm not there
but don't you dare try to tell me
that i don't care

there's nothing inspirational
**about a mindless war

the silence screams the truth
*the darkness screams the lies

a person who cries knows the meaning of tears

i hold this knife in my hand
wondering where you went
i hole these thoughts in my head
broken and bent
i'm not a hero
so i can't see the stars
but i watch the moon go by
wondering where you are

carnival world
carnivorous turn into love and hate
the flowers you sent
thought they were meaningful
my mistake

every beat
of a drum
now i'm numb with the memories
you controlled me
pretty flowers are all i see

love is a never ending wall of meaningless sacrifice
hate is a perfect world where people **** to fight
and i hate that i love it
flowers of love
given by hate
have to go back
one more mistake that'll never be
you and me

it's love
it's hate
it's love
it's hate
it's love

**i guess we'll find out

How many of
Kept your New Years resolution
Like an addiction you had a problem
But a promise won't solve them
So challenge you
yes you
To not make a resolution
And see how far you've come
Without the pressure of the world on your shoulders

some people think they know love
they've been around it
they've been through it
but love isn't about you is it?
love is about the other person
or the thing you choose to love
and the greatest love of all was when God sent his only son.
and when he was up on that cross he thought of you
your the one i choose to love
he says with is crown
when he was being whipped he was screaming
i love you
wherever you are
i want to to know
love never dies
if you **** love
it will rise again on the 3rd day

my head is hurting
this cage is burning
i feel like i can't win

only a few no how i feel
the feeling of being locked in

the reason i can't trust?
thinking back now there's none

the majority
tells you what you are
where to stand in the midst of all the stars
confusing
the rules
but you'll get used to it

step one: don't care out laud
the very first thing that got me
was my friend
more confident then most
but had to cave in
we go in the midst of all these people
and can't choose one topic
because she cares what people think?
but then later that day tells me she doesn't care what people
say
what's the difference?
if anything it should be the other way around
but being a teenager means you are on a different ground
which brings me to

step two: do what you gotta do
know this one actually applies to everybody
but you find it starts with the particular stage
you find yourself switching gears
if you will
when another crowd comes your way
and what do you do  when two crowds are together
go with the winning side
because if you're winning the battle
there's no need to hide
but you hide

step three: remembering God is being pushy
i find this one in many shapes and sizes
you're having too much fun
to remember what the prize is
you love to hate so you forget to love
but then you ask God about the lack thereof?

step four: it's not ok to slam a door
you believe life is full of chances
and that is is true
but some of those chances are not meant for you
it's ok to say no

but not to your parents :)

I once hoped I could see you again
But then you came back and I missed the hope
In you

For those who think
Miracls dont exist
You didnt see my dream

they hid there dreams in a box
nobody knew who they were
they thought they would be pushed out by society
but that's exactly how they were

she had life
she had love
but now she's merely a poster
reminding them she's gone
*where did she go?

beauty is in the faith
faith in failure of darkness

my brother has BPD
and sometimes it scars me
my sister jokes about it once
my parents act like it's a fantasy

i can forgive
but i don't wanna forget
because if it happens again
i need to know how i forgave you

Stay low
Soft dark and Dreamless
For beneath my nightmares and loneliness
I hate me for breathing without you
I don't want to feel anymore for you

Greaveing for you
I'm not Greaveing for you
Nothing real love can't undo

And though I may have lost my way
All paths lead straight to you
I long to be like you
Like cold in the ground
Like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not Greaveing for you

Is when I was your one and only
2. Is when you threw me out and replaced me
3. Is how many times I tried to get you back
4. Is how many times you slammed the door in my face
5. Is how many hours I cried
6. Is how many times I said goodbye
7. Is how many times I made myself think about you
8. Is how many rocks you threw at my window
9. Is how many times you apologized
10. Is how many times this was repeated

my friend is suicidal
something i never thought i would say
until last year
i thought my life was perfect
but perfect is boring
and i'm full of excitement
i'm not saying i don't want her as a friend
i'm saying the opposite

my home
my golden heart is stolen
give me hope
the voices growing

take the pain
and **** me softly
talk to me as if i am nothing
because that's what i love about you father

leave me to die alone in a home where i am prisoner

did it hurt when i fell from heaven?
you and i both know
people like me
work our way from hell

ask yourself questions that will force you to think
look at life a different way
everytime you blink
don't cast out evil
tell it you have truth
but you won't be able to
until you look for you

i can't sit here and love for you

unloved
sent from above
don’t know what it is but she’s had enough of...
never free
of memories
just like her reflection
it’s not always what it seems
she wishes she could be free

there are 7,000,000,000+ people on earth
and people think the number is increasing at this moment
but factor in
the people that have just committed suicide
the people that have been killed
and the number of abortions
and the homosexual community
do you really think the number will truly increase?