I like to write
Sometimes I stay up all night
Maybe it's an obsession
Or I spend too much time inside my head
It's always been my place to go
The silence never bothered me
In fact I never heard it at all.
My mind has gotten full
So now I come to express
All the thoughts dancing in my head.

Skin with skin
Holding tight like it was the last night
Said you sleep better when I'm by your side
I ward away the sleeplessness
And demons of the night
You watched me breathe
Worried when I shook
Little did you know,
I had my own battle to fight
My peace that warmed your eyes
Was something earned every night
I never asked for you to hold me tight
But I needed it all the same
When the demons of the night come
I'll help you fight them off
I've been to this place
The demons know my name
War leaves scars
I know
I'll stay by your side
When the day comes I lose my fight
I hope you'll be by my side.

I write things that feel right
But often the memories don't line up
I wonder why
In dreams my life speaks
Of horrors and pleasant things
Gripping a rifle at the bottom of a hole
Buttoning a child's coat when she's cold
A secret life that isn't mine
Yet is just as real as tonight
I wonder why
These memories are in my mind
I write of many lives
And I'm starting to think all are mine.

In my hallowed keeps I roam
Never knowing if the path I'm on is right or wrong
Only discovering when I step on
It is both and none,
Libraries of old
Holding stories never told
Walking the halls and rows
My cup overflows
As I drink from what I've always known,
My soul is busting these bones
I know I'm heading home
The compass points north
To the lands in which I've grown
As my journey grows
I write the unseen and untold
For anyone to see
It's time the stories are told
The oracles speak and minds are set free
Settle down and listen
To the Storyteller who has come to wake you from sleep.

A moment, a day, a month, a year
I don't have it in me to care
Perhaps I cared too much
That much is clear
Too little too late
I was always here
I'll keep living
In this glass globe of all I've ever feared.

A voice echoed in the dark,
Even through the light of day
It was smooth and cut deep
Making my skin crawl and eyes weep,
It pries at my deepest thoughts and sweetest dreams
Of all that is and will never be,
When it comes I grimace and wait
For the five words it always says,
"Does it make you hate?"

Come to empty your soul
Of its wants and needs
Pay with your desire
This is Walking Weep
Where talk is cheap and the band never sleeps
Take the left road there
Right after the willow tree
We sit on the crossroads of hell bent and apathy
Have a drink, it's free.
Sit on down and tell the barkeep,
Whatever keeps you from a good night's sleep.

String me up till my skin is taut
Move my limbs like paper things
A charade in a child's parade
The Library's afternoon puppet show
All the children are welcome to play
Bodies bigger than they used to be
Paying bills and buying groceries
Mechanical workings guide my days
Strings pulling sinews every week
But I never forget
This is puppet theatre
And I'm in a play
My child moves me
In the streets and in the bureaucracy
Taking joy in her puppet
That's all grown up
She still sees this as play
And she is not wrong
Sticks and strings with frilly things
Adults are puppets
The child guides as is only right
Do not deny yourself the pleasure
Of the child inside
Children remember what we lost in the Library's mytic shelves and keeps
And remind us every time we forget we're in a play on theatre day.

I write because I've had enough,
Of days and nights above
Drowning me with no love
Asking for more when I gave enough,
For blood, sweat and years
Every knock at the door,
Asking for a little more
I choose not answer anymore
I've had enough, you hear
Push anymore and I'll surely swing
I don't live an angry life
But do not think me weak
I do not hold the fears you breed,
Threaten with death or poverty
I do not care,
I do not bow,
My enemy is mine,
There is a darkness in me
And I have made peace with it, you see
If you have come to take,
I will make you bleed.

It was empty
Nothing but glass
Broken and smeared
With stains of time and rust of tears
It didn't look the same
Not as it once had
In better days
Before the cracks and chips
If not for the reflections it would be bare
I think it shouldn't matter it's broken and old
The images are twisted now
Perhaps it's more real that way
So many lies in mirrors
Better to look at one broken and smeared
It'll paint you as you are rather than how you think you appear.

My mind fizzled today
Hasn't been at it's best for many days
Thought I'd write and found myself rambling
Until I read the last line did I see there was a method to the disease,
I thought myself empty until I saw my face complete with neither love nor hate in my company.

He walked in
Dressed to blend in
It was late, hardly anyone cared

She sat on the curb
Waiting for midnight to ring in
The days were getting too long

He sat down and ordered, coffee hot
A dingy cafe
With fluorescent lights flickering

She pulled her coat tight
The wind was cold tonight
Tomorrow she would take a bus

He didn't know where he was
Some little town with no life
The years were passing by

She knew this wasn't life
It was existance in its finest light
How long would she keep this up?

He had lost the will to run
Been going since he was eighteen
Joined the army just to get away

She walked down the dark road
Moving out of the way when lights came
When a realization hit her

Army gave him some leeway
Was a nice life till he was sent away
The sounds still plagued him every day

She didn't have to accept this life
Small town and a job that didn't pay
It was time to make an escape

He needed to find some peace
Not here though
This was a depressing place

They both left
Met in a different place
Strangers who chanced upon a similar fate.

There was a dark place,
A little hole I called home,
Just for a night
It sheltered me when I was cold,
I dug deep just as I was told
Keep your head down I heard them say.
I watched as the stars above fell
And fire rained
From my little hole,
One by two,
My hole in the ground.

There is a head over there
Careful where you step
Oh yes, watch out for that ditch
Horrid place, lost a night or two in there.
Mind the flying imagery
They'll pick you up and take you for a wild ride.
Like that skeleton over there?
I'm working on its flesh.
Books are scattered everywhere
Feel free to pick one up and read
There are copies of comic books, history and poetry.
There are a couple of dead horses over there, beat them if you like.
Don't let the ghosts frighten you
They are characters who haven't quite found their heart beat.
Don't stray too far
There are a few wars here
****** things you aren't ready to see.
Sit down and have some tea
Let me tell you how you came to be.

I saw death today
It roamed the halls and walked away
I asked why it didn't stay
It said it isn't a hunter looking for prey
Or a scavenger seeking decay
I said I've seen it come on better days
It shook its head and smiled my way
"I only come when life is ugly or has gone away.
But not today.
I'll be swift on that day, I never care to cause delay."
It walked away and I counted the steps it took on its way
So I'd know when it comes that it's my day.

He came near from blood and bones I fear
Stalking through the streets he called to me
I told him to leave but he didn't listen to me
So I gathered my things and left this place
I heard him call my name and ask me to wait
He promised sweet things but I told him not today
He thinks me mad for acting this way
But I saw in my dreams and heard from the dead
Never give in until he sits patiently and offers you nothing you haven't learned within
So I keep moving without hesitation
Waiting for the day when he sits and asks me how it went
I'll say fine or some other line
I'll stop moving and sit for a bit
Ask if he's heard from my kin
I'll admit it's been a long trek and yes I'm tired of this skin
There were days I wanted to sit but couldn't quit.
He'll ask why now I chose to sit
I'll say I've known for some time life is a shadow but till he saw this was my life to live I had to keep on
But I'm glad he's here to welcome me, my old friend.
Death follows and calls my name
But I keep moving till the day he stops calling me home.

Walking on air tonight
Steps mere breaths of mine
Lights of all colors reaching out
Playing life like a dance
Come dawn this will pass
This gentle rise of floating mass
Will plummet back
To winter's sun and cradles dust
Slipping on skin, like a glove it fits
Muscles twitch as sleep lifts
Wake for another day
To work and play
Looking to sky and clouds drifting by
Remembering lights from far away
My soul wore a body today
But tonight it will not stay.

Vapors of breath coalesced as dew
Crisp pain sears the chest
Cold breath in the night
How I wish for some warmth tonight
A weight pressing down
Is this my dying sound?
Breath escaping in silence now
The burden of these days and nights
Proof of growth or pain, I don't know
Sensitivity blind
I am afraid and it's been heavy as of late
I look up at night
So the stars will blind
The cold inside

Turned myself inside out
Like a bag,
Looking for something lost inside
Handed out all the spare change,
Threw away the wrappers,
And bits of paper once important before.
Found a few IOU's,
Stacked away from many days
I should cash them in
Give myself the time.
Getting a little worn,
Time to have some fun.

I walked in the hills by my home,
I heard a whisper in the trees and stepped closer to see,
A vulture talking to me.
"Do you think they know?" He asked as I watched him pick flesh from bone,
A carcass decayed and old.
It was a sickening sight to behold.

"It shouldn't bother you so." He said.
"The grass and trees. Do you think they know?" He asked again.
I shook my head, confused.
"Where the soil and nutrients come from in which they grow?" He asked

I listened to this bird as he scavenged from death.
I thought him mad,
But as he spoke I saw the wisdom of his words,
"Dead things come to grow and life never goes."
I watched him eat his fill,
And it was no longer ugly but a beautiful thing.

I walked away wondering if they know,
If any know how we grow.
From soil on mountain peaks to the river that flows,
Death is only fear of change from what we think we know.

If you speak the same to prince or pauper every time,
               Honor will walk beside

If you walk with dignity even when life is disgraced and your burdens are too great,
             Strength will be your mate

If you give your all even when you think you'll fall,
               Greatness is your call

If you are humble enough to think you are small but never kneel to a mighty man's calls,
               Slavery's walls will fall

If you love with no fear and let yourself experience tears,
      Regret will never mark the mirror

If you can have and lose without becoming bitter,
          Freedom will be in your eyes

If you look up, see the stars and wonder who you are,
           Curiosity will take you far

If you've seen the slave and carried all he gave,
              You've seen a better way
          
If you walked away from power because it didn't set right in your bones,
        The time comes for you to lead

If money never held your eye because the value never matched inside,
             Wisdom will have its day

If you fight when you've been beat too many times,
              Your spirit never dies

If you do not bow when authority becomes tyranny,
             Revolution is set to rise

If you've slept in the dirt and brushed it away the next day with no shame,
          Nothing stands in your way

If these are things you crave and they are your way,
      Humanity will step from the fray

In forgotten light came birth
In cries and screams
It came to be
A mother torn of the child she bore
No father offering a home
Life was already worn
It happens this way
A child born but forgotten
Cries and fingers high ignored
The child grows hard and old
Before knowing why it feels alone
Looking for why
Finding no answers in the world's eye
Until the day the whispers came
Speaking of love in a distant place.
The child goes searching,
For a place calling its name
Of family who never gave it away.

I give it away
What once was said
In the dark of night
Under sleeping skies
As honest as the words may have been
You said it was your dearest truth
But I saw the flicker in your eyes
So I wondered but disregarded why
I shouldn't have
If my heart didn't trust you
Neither should I.

The hills are cold
Winter grows
Moon light touches snow
As another season goes

This land knows
Of every secret told
And life that's grown
Since it holds every bone

As I crouch down
I place my hand to the frozen ground
Knowing the plants will grow
From seeds sewn

I marvel at this place
A friend of old
Who's always home
Who takes me now and when I'm old

Basking in the sun
Every day it comes
Bathing in the moon
Whether quarter, half or full

I take a breath
And smile
Grateful
That for now I call this home.

I didn't cry that day or the next
I never do
I'm ashamed that way.
As I've grown I know I loved you dearly
And even today I wish you were here
So I could say all these thoughts of mine.
I think we probably shared these things
But back then I was only fifteen
And I didn't know how to speak my mind.
I've learned now you knew and felt these things
It may be the blood we share
So I write this for you grandfather
As I write so many things
Of the day I saw you go.

I don't know if you knew I was there
I saw your children cry and grandchildren too young to know
I know you knew, when we last spoke
That you had to say what was on your mind,
When you told me to never quit
That I was better and to remember this.
So I say this not in tears, but with some pride,
I never did and I remind myself sometimes,
Of a man I knew who was kind and burdened in ways I never knew.

I didn't have the words to say that day
But now I do, it's taken some learning and truth.
Illness took you too soon,
This broken family still needs someone like you,
I know why they say the good die young,
You were burdened but never stooped,
And I dearly hope you knew how much I cared for you.

It comes by
Passing time
Telling stories of yesteryear
With a gleam in the eye
And scathing wit for the blind.

Look at life this way,
A simple lie told at night
To children who have never seen the light
And wonder what it must be like.

A wanderer once came
Speaking of foreign things
Perhaps the madness is true
And the watcher watches you.

She walks through the streets
Her steps echo from the taps of heels on concrete
It's long gone dark and everyone's asleep
The moonlight glistens on her cheeks,
Her mascara has run clean.
She stops under a street light
Her shadow is facing the wrong way
A muffled cry escapes her mouth
And she begins to weep
She's already wept many times tonight
Her tears seem to find no end
"Come with me my dear." Said a figure in black as he wiped her tears.
She whimpered as her body released one last shivered cry
I watched as he led her away,
A beautiful woman
Even as a ghost she seemed alive.

A smile tugs at the corners of her mouth
A timeless laughter playing on her lips
Like she knows the answers to the questions you didn't think to ask.

Her eyes dance with fire
The flames rising to a silent rhythm
Dancing amidst the falling rain
A storm of the sun.

Her face is a mask
Of freedom untamed,
Grace touches her skin like a warm day
While a reckoning haunts her gait.

The warmth of a mother
With wrath in mind
A contradiction some say
But her smile holds life and death like one of the same.

A fair green brooke
A gentle place
Steep in cliffs and mountain hooks
Nestled down in a valley of little space
Sits a town
Old and new
With a sky of grey and fields of brown
The air is wet from dew
What a place
It almost feels like home
But it only has one road
Once you go you never leave
So I gaze from the hill
Wishing I could travel down
Knowing once I did that would be it for me.

Empty nights
Followed by pleasure
When bodies crave another's embrace
To stave off loneliness like a plague,
Finding a moment among the hours
Days passing into years
A life built of memories in passing.

People having grown from children
But knowing none the wiser
Still in need of mothers and fathers
In a world unforgiving.
Operating amidst the layers
Life and love can be sold for a dollar
Hidden behind screens of mass expression
Are the delusions of our acceptance.

Still seeking meaning amid thorns
****** hands haven't shown anymore,
Wash the blood
Let the peroxide sting and foam.
These bodies demand attention
Forsake them and they'll trouble you till the grave calls you home.

Moments of meaning are all we seek
When the aching heart is answered
It grants sweet release
In pleasured moans or dying throes
Sounds of our loneliness escaping in the night
As the joker deals the game of life.

Unhappy with what I write
So I delete every line
And sit down and sigh
My mind is restless and tortures me
It's always been this way
Since I was a girl with too much imagination and odd things on my mind.
Writing is my release
It's the cure for my disease
But with every word I feed this thing
It consumes me with every heart beat.
My mind disturbs me at night
As I wander down this lonely path
Astray in a dark wood,
Seeing Dante's steps to my left.
I write,
For myself but I hope one day
These words will find you,
You seekers, dreamers and travelers from far away
My words are for you.
These stories must leave me some day
I bid you adieu and hope for a better day,
When my words will satisfy me and perhaps find their way to you.

Do you despise
What is wise
Empty your mind
Of thoughts of every kind
Blues and greens
In a ring serene
Eyes of crystalline
Gazing at the signs
Ask what you already know
To confirm what's inside
Speak of divine
The oracle peers one last time

Bottom of time
Working clocks a simple lie
Gravity descendent upon our lives
Answers raging in our minds
Never to the questions we desire
Breaking Fate's design
Hoping we'll outwit time
Our hearts and minds were not built
To die and pass without light
Folding space
Creasing our lives
Sandwiched in dimensions
Of reality's escapism
Gravity transcended time
So we reached back and saved our kind.

One went away,
In love and heart
He left a ****** trail along the way.
Another passed like a ship at night,
He wished he could stay
But the army called him away.
The third has yet to capture me
My heart is locked away
But it will return some day.

Earthquakes came
Decent size they say
Broke the angel's cry
Dropped the trumpet from his golden hand
Probably a sign
It matches the mess of things
Even religions don't know what to say
Schools are closed and churches are empty
That's a sight
This town is full of both
They're on every street
Wierd to say
But I think we needed to breathe anyway.

The shelves are empty
The streets are filled with masked panic
Everyone is afraid of the unseen
But a bit more by the chaos it's causing
TP is the new gold
Rice and beans are the foods of kings
A chuckle at first followed by worried grin
A virus throwing us amuck
It didn't take much
We didn't have far to fall.
Enter one, enter all
To the throne room
A porcelain throne awaits
Absent a square of paper
Not a roll to be found
The first world falls.

Say something sweet
To take the pain away
You drink tonight to forget
Just a moment of this life
But my blood isn't sweet
My heart doesn't skip a beat
I'll look you in the eye
I won't flinch or deny
I gaze at life in a strange way

It slithered black, purple and cold,
Against my soul.
So cold it burned as acid etches stone.
What horrors fill my soul?
Changing shape to fill any void.
Spiders, oil, squid, and smoke.
Coming to cloud my soul.
Try as I might I can't **** this thing.
It darkens my door to settle score,
Of some deep fear.
I burned it last night,
But it slithered back to the recesses of my mind.
It's made a home and I wonder if it will always be so.

I came into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few.
They clothed me in white
And told me to be obedient and true,
If I was perhaps God would remember me when it's through.

There are some things you should never do,
Break a child is one, someday I'll tell number two.
I say this now as one who knows,
I'm no longer little or innocent
But I won't lie and say
My heart doesn't still shiver
When I'm reminded I'm refuse.
Thrown away and shredded in white
I no longer suffice
It's bitter and untrue
But all those years of guilt and Truth
Have burdened me,
So at twenty-six I feel ninety-two.

I can't shake this burden,
I'm too scared what will happen if I do
So I smile and nod,
Saying all is well and how are you?
My white clothing is in shreds
But don't think I've forgotten how it wears.
If one thing they taught me it's how to punish myself.
I was born into this world as refuse,
Loved by a few
Perhaps one day I will too.

I wonder if the breeze moved slow
Would I know?
If the breath were stuck in my throat
Would I see my life flash before my eyes?
If you were to shout my name,
Would I hear your call?
If I died,
Would I know I wondered all these things?

Languages die and the faces change
Names fall away and cultures die.
Once we worshiped gods,
Now that's changed.
When asked of the divine,
Our answer was simple on the divide.
Gods never die and men always do,
So raise your glasses of wine
And drink to our dying kind.
The mortal life is fading light,
Greeks and Romans knew this plight
As did many others who lived this life.
No matter your race or creed
Let's dance one last time.
We have the fate of dying,
Each and every time.
For the undying watch,
In grim murmurs
Of mortal life.

He washed his hands many times
He was finicky like that
Served him well
He'd seen what dirt can do.
Many thought him odd
A grave digger so concerned with being clean
But who complains on a grave digger?
After a long day he scrubbed his hands and face
Cleaned the dirt from his nails
And scrubbed his knuckles clean
A fellow laughed and called him a name
He didn't care and went his way
Walking through the neat rows
Till he came to a modest place
He laid down to rest his weary body
Glancing up to make sure counted right
All the white stones looked the same
He checked the name and was content
He tucked his hands behind his head
Reveling that they were clean
He'd had enough of filth
Of mud and dirt caking his face
He remembered it choking his mouth and nose
What a way to die
In a war at that
No glorious demise
Just a muddy pit
But now he was clean
He looked once more at his grave
It had been decades
No one seemed to notice who dug the graves
They only saw his clean face
He smiled and closed his eyes
'Such a better a place.'