If you went to war over me,
Would you claim subtlety?
If you killed another over me,
Would you weep for them and me?
If you died in my arms,
Would you remember when I kept you warm?
If you must fight over me,
Know I'll accept you as I do with every child that's come to be
I'll cover you in the dirt and keep you safe hoping for the day you'll see you never had to die over me.

A thousand days
Followed by a thousand nights
Callused hands and silk ties
Each a different journey of the night
Scabs and names becoming all the same
Three hundred more
Whistling a song at the door
A simple melody
Of a hundred scores
Carried in every lore
Another night
How nice
I look up high and see the sky
Smiling wide
I whistle for each life
Each in my mind
I'm becoming whole tonight.

Where the endless sea goes
Black sands stretch down the coast
And skies darken just right
The moons shine and the stars glow,
Where massive trees stand in time
Mountains shoot upwards, so cold
Hills lie down in gentle rolls
Forests grow in vast groves
This is home.

Where creatures fly
Buildings made of wood and stone
Streets so old clocks would die
People not bent to time,
Where my family goes
Every time we come home
With timber and marble stones
A hearth warm and embers gold
This is home.

Where my soul roams
Wandering shores and mountain sides
Never feeling lonely or out of line
Healing myself in the skies,
Where I go when tiredness has come
When I feel old
Settling back in with those of my kind
An essence shared for all of time
This is home.

I sit down to write quite a lot
My mother knows this and seems to take it with some pride
I'm glad she doesn't see the sickness it hides
Every so often she'll ask what I write
I'll sift through loose pages and half written thoughts
The story is too long, I mutter to myself
So I pull out the pieces of poetry
Scribbles really
Something that came to me in the night
A random piece of thoughts growing from thorns in my side
My mind a splintered and layered place
Hints of the darkness dwelling underneath the layer of light
Strings of my inner life
Wrapped in lines.
I hesitantly let her read
Some she smiles and says, that was nice
Others she reads and the smile slips from her face
She nods and says, that's my girl, a writer.
The sound of pride mixed with sadness in her eyes
She doesn't understand but she nods all the same
Proud of what I'm not sure
A hint of the darkness that swells in me is what she sees
And I know the pain it creates
My mother is proud of me even when it breaks her heart to see the sadness in me
And that is something I can't always bear to see.

Last to leave
Never to break
Swirling the drain
It's not okay
But the lie remains
The lives of others come first today
Don't break
The world's not that kind of place
I don't remember if I ever didn't feel this way
I'm tired
And I've only begun the race
I despise my face
It lasts every poker game
Life granted me solidarity
My personality looks complete
Denying what I feel underneath
I'm breaking tonight
I don't want to see
I'm tired but it's not up to me
I'm looking for my strength
It's eluding me
A race to the end
Of the mask versus me.

When the feelings die
And the cracks turn into cliffs
I'll fall down and break apart
Into the smallest pieces

I'll let myself scatter with the wind
Till the pain fades
And I hear my pulse in my head
Then I'll piece myself together again

No piece will be the same and it might sit in a different place
Little lines will streak my body
Scars of all my grief

I'll become a beautiful mosaic
Each piece an art
Every line a memory
And when my days are done
I'll look and smile at what I have become.

I saw a helicopter tonight
Flying low with running lights
Made me think of the ocean
Watery horizon and dying sunlight
Reminded me of a Marine who flew a little too high
Helicopter in dusky skies
With red running lights
You remind me...
Of so many nights.

I wrapped up my things today
Cleaned out my room and dusted the place
I tied a noose from the ceiling
And hung my heart from it, to air its woes
I sat and listened to it beat
Its constant thump echoing through the halls
Reminding me of this house in which I've grown
A house of bones
I know as I get older it will creak and moan
I count the scars in this house of mine
One, two, three..oh and one from when I tried to climb
I turn the faucets on so I remember it's okay to cry
I scrub the floors and paint the walls
Just to keep this house strong and all
I'm only a tenant in this house
But I call it home
This house of bones.

I stand here in morning rains
Grey skies
Surrounding me
I open up
Like the flower beside
It's cold
And drowning rain
Rinsing my soul
Of weary stains
Wet my eyes
Of tears needed yesterday
My soul was fixed
Lighting me with why
A melancholy scheme
Wandering the sky
A bird seeking home
Knowing its age is gone
Finding tranquility in pouring rain
Wet globes of home
Quenching dry eyes
Quintessence of solitude

Mirrored lake
Disturbed by a falling leaf
Gentle ripples spreading out
As the leaf sticks to the surface
In a moment becoming one with the water
A person comes along
Seeing the still lake with wonder
Disrupts it by tossing a stone
A satisfying vacuum plump
As the stone hits and sinks
Pulled down to watery dephs,
For longer than the one who threw it there will live
Ripples from the epicenter
Stretching across the mirror
Distorting all who stare
In time the stillness returns
The waves disappear
And the stone becomes another resident of the mirror
Someone is always throwing stones
And life is dropping leaves
But the mirrored lake always returns
Asking you to look into it
Without tossing stones.

No one comes along to take your hand
The path long left the map
Your footsteps are on an empty pass
Your shadow is the only company
On this singular path
Many will try and take you from it,
Offer safety in numbers in a broken system that long passed into yesterday's abyss
Fight for who you are
And take no one's word for wise
The guide is you and the path is only for your eyes
Embrace the life you have
The show will not last
And this illusion will have lost its chance
Learn what you can and make it last
The steps on this path are yours to find
Take it in stride
Leave the masses behind
You'll be alright

A writers pen
Well used and ink stocked
Sitting in a storm of dark and light
Darkness that cannot be seen
Lightning that can be breathed
Wet electricity
Warping drying ink
Tears of rain blurring lines
Emptiness as the storm ravages away
Gentle patter of rain
Followed by the hurricane
Beauty of the storm
Seen in dried ink
Not when the winds and rains blasted down
Buzzing with electrical fill
Writers sit down with quills
Mastering the storm of wills

The hills burned
The blue sky turned dark
As smoke blotted out the sun
Gracing the valley in red dusk
Burning skies
So beautiful tonight
Embers of brush and piñon pine
Nature's destructive light
Raining ash
With gentle might
Dying skies burning bright
Wildfires decimating for new life

Do you hear the creak?
Of the wooden sign breaking free
This is Dead Man's Ranch
The horses died long ago
And the cattle don't graze any more
The plains wait for none
Thundering clouds beating down
On this blood soaked ground
A sacred town
Of dead and cultures long gone
Beneath the dusty bones
Are the lives who worked this ground
Can you hear their shouts?
Few can hear these calls
This country life is dying now
The last son loaded what father gave him
A piece of lead to protect this hallowed ground
Here he sits with the dead all around
Saying nothing as the dust stirs
The final beat of generations sound
Dead Man's Ranch
Listen now

Empty muskets
Breathing life and piercing holes
Tasting metal in your throat
Red rocks of oxidizing ore
The dirt is already filled with it
Why does it need more?
Ares colors run deeper than gold
Blood moons in prophecies of old
Deep red of our veins coats the Earth
Leeching life into our hearts
From cries and screams to hollow weeps
Blood born from mothers to Earth.

Thank them for me
This dance is ending
I won't stay after this piece,
Tell the band they were sweet
They couldn't have made a better beat,
It's time to go
Tell the angels sorry I had to depart
My heart couldn't take anymore
Tell the demons the laughs were great
I couldn't cry another drop,
See the dance is ending
I'm not sure it's any different than the beginning
I already knew that part
So I never had to witness
The men playing smart
I moved with my art
A fanciful existing
Bringing angels and demons to my yard,
Thank them for me
The host who sat apart
Tell him I know the game he set from the start
And now I depart
I leave my art
And my invitation
Thank them for me
I've danced my part

I wrote today
As I do most days
A journal locked away
Kept for posterity's sake
It doesn't hold my name
And the grammar is far from okay
I wrote today
As I do every other day
Tears no longer flow
And anger does not taint my soul
They both have found a home
In a the pages of my tome
My journey has taken me here
To the land of no man, alone
No footsteps to guide
I wrote today
An inscription of the person I am for another day
When I forget the shadow that led me this way.

Waters edge
Horizon line
Knelt beside
Drinking cool light
Currents swiftly passing by
Of nocturnal light

The edge of creation
Event horizon's light
The void pulls tight
Wrapped in rings
Drifting inside
I wonder
About the light
And dark

Mates
Whispering sweet carnal things
Of destruction and delight,
Morning dew
A lovely hue
Burned by day
Frozen by night

The edge of light
Dancing like it'll never die
Immortal taste of life
Brash and defined
Luminescent
Passionate
Etherally wise
Bringing tears to eyes

I watched myself die that night
I watched my mother cry
It broke my heart to see her so

I struggled to get free
But the red dirt wouldn't let me go
I was trapped
Left to travel this strange place

When I demanded to be freed
He said I was dead and to leave it be
If I wished to leave this place
I must accept that I am no longer me

I looked at my mother
Frightened to leave her alone
But I couldn't return
And I was tired of the red
So I admitted I was dead

I found release
Until I woke
And thought what a strange dream
A few years have passed since

I see now the dream was true
I died that night
I didn't return
The girl I was died to the woman I became

I don't know if this person is better than the one before
She's hard and complex in many ways
My mother lost her daughter to me
I've been trying to reclaim my simpler days

Futile hopes woven into passing dreams
Choking on these words
They're smoother than they used to be
The darkness is no longer a shadow to me

I died that night
But I didn't realize it until today
I must have been a zombie.

Have you ever seen the moon rise
Fall on high tide
Echoes of cold light?
Have you ever looked in a pool of silver
Gaze at the reflection staring back?
Both speak of silence
Moments of thought not easily described
Have you witnessed the light in your eyes?
Or the pull and push of your tides?
At night when all is quiet and the world sleeps,
Have you looked inside?
Reflections
Real or not
What does the mirror say?
Of your windows and gates

Rivers run
Winding through willow groves
Casting light on the setting sun
Tears of dying light
Settle on horizon's night
Oceans come
As comets run
Tails of bliss to kiss the sun
Of glory's day
How simple it has become
Go down where the river runs
Bathe yourself in tears of those gone
Bits of light grace your eyes
A cycle of time
Through you it all comes to life.

I once had a professor
I took his class on passionate whim
Though I spent my days in labs
With test tubes and pippettes
His class fascinated me
So I signed up just to balance my time
Too much science isn't good for the mind.

It was in a building I had never been
I sat down and waited for class to begin
The clock struck one
It was only me and two others
Am I in the wrong class? I wondered
When in walked a man
Dressed very professionally
That was rare to see.
He smiled and said hello.
He sat down, exchanging pleasantries with the guys next to me.
He glanced at me and smiled
He said he knew the other two
They were philosophy students of his.
He asked my name and I told him
This is a small class he said as one more came in
The guy sat down and was rather talkative
The professor said hello and asked what major he was in.
History the student said
The professor nodded and said this class will go nicely with that.

I was feeling out of place
The only girl and not even in the humanities
The professor asked what I studied
Biology I said.
Everyone quieted and stared at me quizzically
One chuckled and asked if I was in the right class
This is Ancient Greek? I asked
The professor nodded with a grin
"It is, let's begin."

Come back to us,
My son so sweet
A face too young to be taken away.
My daughter,
Drawn away to this careless world
It does not deserve your grace.
My loves,
I am with you in every breath
It will always be this way.
Torn away by petty things and historical mistakes.
I will never send you away,
I wait with warm embrace
Do not leave a folded flag in its place.
Come back to us
We wait,
Every generation a dying race
But a mother always waits.

I am lazy when I write about you
It's not my favourite pastime
It's been some time, the scar mends
It's not so tender,
It can handle a confirmation or two
So the fact you did worse than I knew
Itches the scar but nothing more
I write to make sure the pain is released before it makes me its home again
They say it is better to loved and lost than never loved at all
I do not disagree
Despite this little white scar of mine
My only addition of wisdom,
It's a shame we can love one who doesn't deserve our pain
For me that was you
And now I forever bid you adieu

Black or blue
Iridescent feathers shimmering through
Scavengers with a noble walk
A raven squawk

Beauty in the sun
As it rearranges pebbles just for fun
A trickster, an omen of insight or ill
Beak meant to pierce old kills

The raven den was empty here in
But they still squawk
On a pole watching the world go
Looking for a shiny stone in the empty roads

Laughing without stock
To their friends and enemies aloft
Intelligence in their eyes
Claiming more than mere sight.

I'm tired,
To my bones I think
Sleep doesn't fix,
What my soul emits
A tiredness so deep,
Time quits
I've lost all sense
As I bail this dying ship.

Roaming through
No place else to go
Shadows call
Home wasn't here
The place where the burden goes
Shoulders aching
Under the load of a silent woe
Just a moment
An echo of home
Rest these weary bones
Violet rich
With eyes of storms
Soothing touch of otherworldly forms
Take me home
Where freedom roams

Hanging vines
Wrapping around limbs
Gently caressing broken skin
Bringing the body up
To mother's embrace
Holding the bare chest
Soothing its quiver
Dripping moonlight
Over the beating heart
Letting it flow down the roots
Pulsing life stretched in water veins
Hanging vines returning life
To all who ask
The tree of life.

When today sheds its skin
And becomes yesterday and tomorrow
Will the longing of today be spent?
The call of the void fading
As I close my lids
Echoes of past and future tense
Coming like horsemen
Demanding what I fear to give
One last breath before I slip
Into the soul's domain
One last look where my body lay
I hasten to hear what the soul has to say,
It's begun
Tell them I have come
And let go what you think you must become

Late last night
I sat on the highest hill
A child among mountain giants around
But still a lovely little hill
The monsoon battles the dry
It has every night
The half moon was bright
Shining amidst storm clouds
The cool breeze pushing lazily by
A battle of moon and clouds played out
It was a glorious sight
The clouds would darken the sky
Brightening only with lightning
Then the moon would shine
Declaring its superior light
Only to darken once more
The battle waged for hours
Until my eyes grew tired
My last sight a triumphant yellow moon
Then I closed my eyes
And the clouds had won

Writing in the night
Marking this heart
With each layer
The marks are deeper
The screams are louder
And the darkness is thicker.
Sick or gifted?
Both speak of their brilliance.
Leaving a figure much different
Her face is calm and eyes cool
Her expression alludes to something cruel
She's grown up hard,
I worry she'll lose,
What's left of the child inside.
I pray none will cross her
For the darkness she exudes
Could crush even the strongest of virtues.

I walked away
To a different night
To a different life
A dream of another time
If I'm alive how come I go?
If I die, will I come alive?
I walked away tonight,
Left this life
In the morning perhaps I'll return.

Emotions demanding thought,
Mind keeping measure
No need to live, no need to die
Sickles sweet, crescents of red
Incontinence of my thoughts
Sweeping me beneath these currents
I don't know what's happened to me
All I've lost and let be
Have returned to me
I was never lacking,
The world just never became what I thought it to be.

A hunter walks
In a subtle stalk
Holding his breath and refusing to talk
Waiting for his prey
When it appears his rifle is cocked
His lungs go quiet and his heart quickens
He pulls the trigger
The moment cannot be forgotten
Life and death hanging in the air
Like scents of apple blossoms
All a hunter will ever be
The silence unforgiven.

My mind spins
Like a wayward top
Drifting towards the edge
The table no longer makes sense
Life is a masquerade
Why did I come to play?
My hollowed heart whispers to me
Its cup never filled yet often used
The light is dim
My eyes are no longer content
It's all fuzzy now
I've lost the sheet
Blocking eternity from me.

Wings breaking flesh
Metal piercing through
Raging blood
Of never enough
Poison tipped
Memory can forgive
Acid burning,
Etching metal with runes
Mask of flames,
Heart of graves
Victory singing in tune
Ravaging dust to boon
Held firm by,
Silver bonds of painful sanity
Forged on the blood of a race gone
Nike, never an angel were you

I was given my name
At the beginning of this charade
One for the dead
Another for a babe
The last is rarely said
But I'll answer to it all the same
Though it doesn't always make sense
It's my passage on this ship.

Cast upon the wall
In plaster and stone
Beauty written in sage's scrolls
Sirens calling out in a distant drone
Fools in love
Wise learned long ago
It is worth the tears to hear the heart's song.