To my back sit the stars
Under my feet lie the clouds
An endless staircase rises both ways
I breathe the clouds
I feel the void on my neck
Sit with me on the steps
Talk a while
Labors of my love came today
And I had to go away
Do not grieve the loss
It was always meant to be
I'll return to the skies
Where walls of captivity cease to be
Change has arrived
Birthing pain of a new day
It is growing late
The stairs go both ways
I sit on the steps
My final wait
Weaving stars and galaxies.

Waiting in line
For the train to pass
Storm clouds moving swiftly by

A man steps aside
Lights a smoke
Waiting for the train to go by

Impatience in the air
Traffic lights
Rushhour time

Tack, tack
The tracks shake
Electricity sizzles

Sun fighting for a chance
But the clouds dominate,
Rains held with a sigh

Waiting,
No one watches the clouds pass by,
Not enough time

Breathe,
Love, if you listen,
Breathe

When you die,
The trains,
The traffic lights

You won’t think of these
But of the clouds,
The gentle breeze.

Waiting
Waiting for our time,
We’re all ghosts walking by.

The train roars through
Hustle on
If you don’t stop,
The clouds will never see you pass by.

Several years ago
Life led me to a fork that went both ways
One was known and everything I had been raised to be
The other was singular and marked with shame
The former was the only one I was supposed to take
A simple lie is all it would take
A sip of kool-aid to dull the pain
But I couldn't kneel before another's game
So I took the latter
Beginning a journey that belonged to me
I lost what childhood had given me,
I watched family and friends turn away
At eighteen that was a bitter thing
Deracinated from everything
It left me grasping to make sense of anything
As a child I had always been told about people like me
I had taken the red pill
The lies went away and I had to rebuild everything
I made home for myself
Not out there
Where the world spins without wait
But inside
Where my shadows dance and play
And I found my way
I still don't know where it leads
Or what I'll be along the way
But I've made peace with the pain that led me this way
And all the friends and family who have gone away,
Because I didn't see life their way
Now this path doesn't seem so lonely and the shame that marked the entrance was a lie to frighten me away.

If I lost you tomorrow,
Would I cry?
Fall apart inside?
A morbid dialogue,
Midnight thoughts,
To make me wonder at night,
About who I am,
Underneath reality,
Beneath this mask I hide.
If I lost you tomorrow,
Would I feel what I deny?
Perhaps this is life,
Knowing better and setting grief aside,
Or I’ve lost touch with what makes me alive.
The former is a warrior’s mind,
The latter a child whose cry died
Neither describe the emptiness inside
Nor the midnight thoughts.
So I ask myself one more time,
If I lost you tomorrow,
Would I still be wondering what’s inside?

It rattles and shakes,
More than half of the fake fur is gone,
Exposing the plastic underneath
That doesn’t change how much she loves it.
A little toy mouse,
Nearly as old as she
She carries it like a teddy bear
In her mouth, safe in her teeth
It goes in her water dish and in her food,
To bed and down the hall.
A kitten and her toy mouse,
Such pure love,
A beautiful thing
I hope any love you have
Is as pure as a kitten and her toy mouse.

I've been formally trained
Yes I've brewed some strange things
And I've dissected some things
I know where Frankenstein got his name
But the craft I practice I never learned
It's the purest of the trades
And it's stronger than any compound I've ever made
I've distilled it many times
Till it was pure
Just a drop is all you need
Stronger than any liquor
Trust me I could brew no ninety proof that could compete
Just a sip is all you need
A sip of the purest pain
Aged through the decades
Wouldn't my old professors be proud?
I think not
Only the Philosophers and Poets would nod their heads without doubt
The rest surely know I've abandoned all they taught me
A brilliant scientist I'll never be
But come to me when all is broken and gone away
I'll give you a taste of my brew
Perhaps I can still become a healer
I know the body but it is your soul that needs mending
So pull up a chair and sit on down
I once was a scientist but I've given it all away
For this pain that stretches through us all
Tell me what you think and I'll let you have a drink
We'll grieve together and it'll be okay.

It’s been a while,
I know,
Pristine walls I built are washing away
The ever tide comes in.
I was so young when I started,
My walls of sand,
Sculpted terraces,
A moat and giant doors,
Sea shells placed carefully in the walls.
The sand is dripping,
Floating back to source
The waves are gentle and merciless,
Going back and forth,
Canibalising the shore.
A city collapsing on itself,
An empire of dreams falling down
And the builder has long gone away,
Leaving the castle to melt,
Into a pile of sand,
Reclaimed by the sea
It’s ever loving embrace
Like a body taken by the fields,
The castle becomes the sea.

It’s an easy swing,
From happy to sad
Like a carousel,
Horse or tiger up and down,
A childish analogy.
Today’s the best day or,
Yesterday wasn’t so great.
Riding on this merry-go-round,
Everything is going to be alright,
Worries will take their turn in stride.
Oh to rise above these white clouds,
Storms and Summer breeze,
Blow on by.

On the other side
There the energy keeps in stride
Where eyes light the sky
And the people never die

Gravity is a companion of mine
Weaved in cosmic lines
Calling me it’s beautiful crime
Letting me drift in the icy night

Voices from the other side
Seeking life in this light
Love amidst the battle cries
On the other side we’ll die tonight

Empty ride
My heart sits in the passenger side,
While my soul drives
Passing deserts with the occasional swath of life
My mind navigates while my emotions tune the radio
Sometimes it's just static and there's nowhere to go
I watch them from the backseat,
Like a child with no concept of distance or time.
They speak of an ocean not too far away
A place to bathe, Baptise some would say
I've never seen the water but I've heard the waves
Terrifying in their never ceasing might,
Why we drive to them I don't know
My soul knows why, always telling me it'll be okay
While my heart beats away,
Ageing with each pulse and quiver
My mind is busy calculating, though someone should give it a break
While emotions can't be satisfied,
They know why we need this drive
Peace in the journey, we were never meant to stay
In the rearview mirror I see all the cities we've passed by
We never belonged in them and they let us go without a goodbye.
The water awaits
I know it'll be my final fate
A breath to end all days
Flood waters to fill my chest
This body of mine, it follows
Even to its demise it knows
My soul will lead us home.

There are some poems,
There are some stories,
I write with so much heart
I dump them onto the page
Hardly sorting them out
The way they came is already better than I could say.
They are beyond blood
They are little pieces of my soul,
Children of mine,
Should I let them go?
Let them free for all to see?
Something beyond words and philosophies
I feel them when I breathe
Gods, monsters, and prophecies.
Heaven and hell are within me
I see the lives in me,
And more than that I see them in you.
No matter the times the story never dies
See a myth and read it twice
It is your life
Your journey to find both hero and villain inside
I write not because it's a hobby
I write so I can breathe,
Would you like to take the journey?

In crimson black
Of moonless nights
A lone wolf hunting in the dark skies
Seeking more than blood tonight
Walking on legs
Skin bursting unnaturally tight
The Pied Piper calling innocence
Away from the light
Shifting from evil they hide
Men of dark arts they once were
And have since become much more
In the high desert nights
When the moon isn't bright
Sit amongst the sage
And close your eyes
When you open them you'll see
The shadows do hide
For the Skinwalker has come out tonight.

May my blood of this moon
Fall upon the stones
Creating life tonight
May the earth hear my cries
In the heat of night
I'll hand back with warriors might
Every grain and stars alight
Heal these wounds
Mother of the land and sky
Incantations of spirits on my side
May this blood flow bright
Down the stones to river beds and watery depths of absent light
Sky grant me one more breath tonight
I'll whisper my creation into life.

I dripped tonight
Slid down the way
Warm little drops
Wet and sweet
Didn't realize they were there
Till I felt them run down my face
Wondering why they came
Knowing they've been at bay

Salty spray and sailing trips,
Worries of simple things
Come close,
I'll take it all away while I can
Scraped knees and bad dreams
I'll cure any wound and chase the monsters away

As you grow life will change
I'll still be there,
To answer anything.
I'm not perfect,
But I've got strength that never fades,
Something I hope you'll gain.

I'll stay until it's time to sail away
By then I swear you'll be okay,
I'll have shown you how to love,
It’s from my mother and it's purer than any light,
I'll have taught you when to fight to the bitter end,
And when to have wisdom to give in,
I'll show you how to find peace
When all you feel is a storm within.

Little one,
You'll have all I can offer,
Today and tomorrow
You'll have my heart, mind, and this old soul of mine.

A year ago today,
I came to this new land
Knowing not what to expect,
Whether I’d feel at home or not

A year ago today,
I gave my old life away
I boxed and packed it safely
For the day I planned to return

Now today,
I can’t say this is home,
But on the eve of a brief return,
Home is not home anymore.

I believe I’ve lost my way,
To say I had it once seems foolish now to say.

The ground under my feet,
It’s not the same,
And that’s okay.

I’ve lost my way…
The realist thing I’ve never said
And I don’t mind wondering
If I’ll find it before my last sun kissed day.

Drop the beat
Whistle that final wheeze
Blow the ram's horn
Strike matches on three

Hangman's knot
A fine collar for mortal decor
Ends hanging those ****** cords

Heaven above
Watching as soaring souls are freed
Lifted from mortal coil
At the hangman's drop
Chanting gallows horns
Deep chords of aching hearts

A dead man's walk
A final trudge
Whether sinned or not
Fate has been ordained

If I hang from that noose,
Will you meet me one last time?
Under dark skies
Before my gallow walk?

It's better this time,
Last time they set me alight.
I still smell ash,
The sickly sweet burning flames

Kiss me one last time
Before my drop
I'll carry our love to the final swing.

Don't look when my eyes turn grey
Glazed and faded away
I'll have left,
Freed to the skies
Where I'll roam and breathe free
Waiting for my captors,
So they'll see they could never **** me.

Burnt orange
Pastel of pink
Intermingled with purple hue
Breathy haze
Of mountain cool
Aspen and pine reaching high
Meadows of deer grazing in dusk's light
A peaceful fading sight
Full moon rising
Broached by tips of trees
Beautifully rising night
Burnt orange
Of smoky skies
Mountains rising above the hazy light
Breathe this burning sky
One last time.

Silver lines stretching infinitely
Atoms of dust
Stars crushing themselves alive
Checkered across the plain
Webbed waypoints supporting the tapestry

Life among the stars spinning fast
Fading brilliant lights
Scattered dust among the skies
Pondering an infinite cycle of why
Oblivious to the Weaver's gentle nudge
A cosmic string intertwined with dusty lives
Cradled by gravity to keep stomachs tight

Stories of old
Creation's magic and a socerer's stone
Fervent prayers of desperate souls
Each cry an echo vibrating a string
Of the untold and grieving nights
And heroes and villains of the heart
Empty throes if only known
The pain would surely go

A Weaver of majesty
Knows her tapestry
Each fiber taut or loose
Is a making of her own
If gravity should let us know we aren't alone
Our stories will never grow old.

I’ve been standing on this line
Unsure where I’m supposed to lie,
In the field where I know of home
Or in the raging storm outside?

I’ve been running for some time
And I’ve sat with my demons for a spell
Neither have given me peace of mind
Now it’s time to go

It’s a slippery *****
To the place of lost souls
Ridden with self-told lies
And pitiful holes

Should I stand my ground this time?
Or surrender to the endless fight?
What an empty night
Now that I’ve pulled this splinter from my mind.

In the forest black,
Where Grimm tales stand alive,
The sun shines upon the forest floor.
Covered in the dead
Rotting to feed life,
An ode of decay that smells fresh,
Of pine, oak, lavender and elderberry.

Late summer kisses the leaves,
Leaving a brittle leaf,
Fading yellow and wishing their trees sweet release.
Tall massive trunks reach out to the sky,
Like children asking for a parents embrace
How they creak when the sky ruffles them with breeze.

The mushrooms feast,
Offering those who dare to stop and eat,
A host of certainties,
A full belly, death, or a visit to divinity
An ecstasy of colorful soliloquy,
The forest gods smile you see.

Willow leaves, twisted vines
And whispering trees
Sing of Fall and Spring,
Knowing their ghosts will rise,
Come Allerseelen the forest will exhale,
With misty tide,
Cyclic rhythm will beat
Of death, life, and all in between.

I remember hearing it on the radio.
There were only three stations then
Mom didn't listen to rap or country
So we listened to classic oldies.
It was just me in the backseat
Too small to be without a carseat.
It had an airy beat
And the melody was sweet.
Four-year-old me thought the song was for me
I lived in a desert where the heat was hot and the ground was dry,
I too had met the fly with a buzz.
So this song became my theme
While I'd dream of rain
Wistfully waiting for a cloud to cover me.
I hate the heat but it rarely burns me
The desert is a quiet place
Filled with vultures and ravens circling
If you listen you'll hear the valleys sing
And you'll appreciate a spot of green.
Your reflection is the only face you'll see
If your lucky you'll forget your name,
The empty sky will give you no pain.
I smile like a kid in the backseat when I hear the story of the river that flowed,
Listening to the story it told.
Now I tell those stories too
It may be odd this song does this to me
But nothing else quite makes feels this much at ease.
The desert isn't where I want to be
But I appreciate the ground when it speaks,
And the vast ocean that once was sea.
I've done the journey,
And my horse has no name.

Roots burrowed deep
Roots burrowed shallow
A tree clinging to a cliff
While climbing to the sky,
Cancerous roots
Spreading out
Grasping ground
Solid foundations
Ill winds won't knock it down,
Twisted tree
Its bark is scarred
Old and gnarled
Survived a lightning strike,
A squirrel family
And a woodpecker or three,
Aged back to Roman days
Its past pain is clear to see
A beauty unique
Should I live thousands of years
I think I'd be as twisted as this tree

A friend's request
I rise to meet
A dovetails nest
Resting steadily
Perched ever so gently
On a perilous peak
A nudge and the young will tweet
Plunged into eternity
A request complete
Bittersweet
Broken free
The time has come for awakening

An old wooden shack
Built by hands long ago
Still ptotecting those inside
From storms and predators outside
A small hole appeared one night
In the roof just above where I slept
The black sky peered through
Threatening me with its vastness
So I might float away at night
A horrid black thing
Until a small pin of light appeared
Followed by another and another
And the hole was filled with pins of light
A starry sky
My first sight
Alone yet inspired
By these mystic lights
Is their cold light warm on another face?
Outside this barn of mine
Is the death of this life,
A traveler's delight
This hole shows me otherwise
My journey of the night
To starry skies of mystic lights

In the shade the desert ground is blessed
In scars survival fights
In broken ground life is sewed
In storms water is split
What is pure was distilled
What is life but a healing wound
Broken hearts and souls
Empty grief within
The cracks let strength grab hold
The end isn't coming
The beginning has just rung in
Broken vases
Has made you see
Just shells hiding are we
Set down the burdens and you'll be free.

Who has seen
The midnight hour
Filled with hope
Of dying day and birth anew
Scarlet tags hanging
Upon the changing hour
Of all coming and going
With baited breath
The clock chimes true
Lost for all who blinked
Death is in bloom
A new day
Born in darkness and quiet
Stilling hearts with a whisper
Sleep and all will come true.

Just hold me tonight
Don't say a word
Or promise a thing
I don't believe such things anymore
It's dark and I'm shivering
From the battle inside
Just hold me tonight
Don't ask me anything
Let me be
All I need is for you to hold me
I'll do the rest
Just be by my side tonight.

Mighty pine
Age has rotted your branches
Your roots no longer caressed by vines
Your needles have fallen
Eighty feet high
You've touched the sky
Heard its whispers and sweet mysteries
Now you sway dangerously
A stiff wind shakes you horribly.

Mighty pine
You've seen seasons pass
Longer than many alive
Now it is time to rest
Your wood turns into a sweet smoke
An offering to the sky you reached
Freedom from your solid stance
A guardian you no longer need to be
Be free and kiss the sky for me

The clock ticked back one
Backwards and complete

A slip of silver shining in the moonlight
Crescent midnight sun intoxicating dead to life
Molten iron in a mouth full of strife
Hot fires raging inside,
I hear your cry
Anger and fear blinding everything in sight
Brother can you hear me now?
The day is won
There is no more blood to slay
I know you never left the fight
Peace is hard when you've seen the hate in people's eyes
You've been breathing red haze
And now you've forgotten who you are
Brother listen to me now
Take my hand and hold it tight
We'll find sanity's light
I'll rinse the blood stains from your eyes
We're both built for the fight
Let me be by your side
Hold my hand tight
I'll take us down to the river tonight
Where we played and make-believed
My brother I'll join you for this fight
Coming home is a long journey of the night.

My lungs bent the air
Making my breath come and go
The blood in my veins runs like water
My heart bent it through my body
My bones stand like stone
They bend my knees to the ground
The fires of my mind burn bright
In imagination I've made the sky.

Wet slime under my feet
Mud in my teeth
On the jungle floor
While you sit in the canopy above
Watching over me
As the stars circulate

I'm lost below
Searching for a path amid the vines
There's too many trees
And I can't take this **** heat
Eyes glow as the only light
Sounds rage above the quiet night

You know I'm lost on this plane
I don't remember the fall
But I recognize the jungle sounds
My body aches and my blood seeps
I crave those lights at night
Peaceful empty skies

But here I am
Roaming the jungle floor
Looking for my place
Though you wait
I don't know how long it'll take
Before I can leave this dark place.

I wish,
I didn't float so easily,
That my lungs didn't rejoice so with cool air,
That the night sky didn't fill me with longing,
That my thoughts didn't touch eternity every night.

I am,
A million lights and a void with nothing in sight,
A tempest given form,
An echo of past life,
A sunrise and sunset folding into endless light,
A storm of unparalleled might,
The child of my dreams crying at night
And the one who comforts her each time.

I will,
Attach my willowy ways to sinew and bone,
Stick my feet in the Earth,
Find peace in my temporary home,
Ask the highest of you
And not think less of you when failure is due,
Be the gentle breeeze caressing your face,
And the violent hurricane bringing change,
Be the storm inside of my wildest dreams.

Midnight
Her solemn gaze,
Fade into black with hints of cold light
Her echoed name,
Ghostly foggy breeze
Her sweet lullaby,
Thrice times the raven calls
Her wisest words,
Winters harshest night,
Her gentle kiss,
Little one
Your laugh is the brightest day,
Youth's grace,
Your smile is full of ease,
Dear,
Your tears raise life from barren seeds,
Lady,
You're heart bleeds life into dying days,
Aged and grey,
Your eyes don't hold back
O' moon up high
Hear the chant
Born to death and life
Endless cycles
A daughter's craven namesake.

They warned this was not easy
Who you ask?
The voices in my head,
My demons of the dark.
I took the journey anyway
To a place within
Searching
And what I've found is I was never who I thought
The voices entreat me to be patient
And my demons comfort me when they see I've gone too far.
If I've come to a place where my demons comfort and pity me
Have I journeyed too far?
In my dark travels.
Perhaps I've always been a tortured soul and my demons never were.

Electric skies
Arcing home
Where souls roam

The universe came to play
With a sack of jewels
Scattered from antediluvian hands

A beauty of creation,
The void has been
All who were will come again

Light and shadow seeking gems
Stars of dust
Scattered in our skin

Why be any less,
Embody creation's whim
A breath of ancientness within

You look at me
Like you could command the sky and sea
If only the sea didn't thrash
And the sky wasn't so vast
It brings a smile to my weary face
The darkness in the eyes,
The pain hidden inside
My dear I've written those lines
It's why you feel safe in my sights
A port for a storm that's raging inside
You found something you like
If only I didn't thrash and seem so vast
Perhaps you could find mastery
But these are foreign seas
And the sky is storming, see
I see you looking at me
Wistfully
My dear, I am the sky and seas

I wrote a story of something in my mind
It grew rather long and felt like pulling a thorn from my side
I know not from where it came or why it calls me home
But I gave it life and claim it mine
All the loves and losses
And the characters who live and die
It's a beautiful and frightening thing
To see a world and a people exist in your mind.