Small enough
Gentle love
Rescued from the dust
Finding warmth in my thoughts
Little life
Burning strong
Connecting me with what I lost
Snuffed out so quick
Six inches deep
My love won't die at any cost
Ashes in the breeze
Named for birth and release
Ashes bringing home to me
In a mouse so small.

Joints of black holes
A massive frame held together by gravity
Fabric of everything
Woven destiny
Beyond complete
I watch the swirling stars
Spinning galaxies
In the tide of being
Finding more is expected of me
Legs pulled taut by majesty
A drop of universe to breathe
Wonderous and terrifying
Which do I choose to see?
Both make demands of me
Black holes gaze down,
At me on bended knee
Asking if I'll let myself free.

Muck and stench,
This war's hell bent
On taking our lives away.
This is a soldier's game,
One never meant for men
Even in the darkest day
Hell has no hold on us
The devil has already had his way.
Kneel down and pray,
The sun kisses your face,
And your brother lies awake.
Eyes wide open
Take me away.

I wrote a story of something in my mind
It grew rather long and felt like pulling a thorn from my side
I know not from where it came or why it calls me home
But I gave it life and claim it mine
All the loves and losses
And the characters who live and die
It's a beautiful and frightening thing
To see a world and a people exist in your mind.

Tonight is a night of hallow
One we cannot share
In light or dark
It's a night beyond compare
Of wonders and horrors
Blatant to disregard my care,
Of what I speak
A wile of mine
That wanders my sacred places
Of grey and white
And where the caged beat roars,
Upon the midnight stars
Roam the horses
Of winds and dreams
Running fast
Upon cosmic sleet
The void of all who seek
An endless well
Reflecting each question back on thee,
Tonight is a night of hallow
The trees have said to me,
Follow the roots
Twisted and gnarled as they may be
White and black
For every scar and age
Ash upon your feet
Not to return from this night
A night of hallow
A lonely journey of the soul
That must be complete.

Deep and endless
Echoing out its haunting call
Beckoning all who roam
Promising silence of the demons
And anything plaguing your soul
It has many names
Each a shadow of its true self
Filled with daisy fields
And lazy skies drifting by
Dreams and hopes answered
Or crushed so you can die
Whatever your wish,
Whatever your desire
It can be found here.
We all see it
Some stop and gaze into it,
Some jump right in,
Others pretend it isn't there
The abyss calling our names.

A year ago today,
I came to this new land
Knowing not what to expect,
Whether I’d feel at home or not

A year ago today,
I gave my old life away
I boxed and packed it safely
For the day I planned to return

Now today,
I can’t say this is home,
But on the eve of a brief return,
Home is not home anymore.

I believe I’ve lost my way,
To say I had it once seems foolish now to say.

The ground under my feet,
It’s not the same,
And that’s okay.

I’ve lost my way…
The realist thing I’ve never said
And I don’t mind wondering
If I’ll find it before my last sun kissed day.

Let me go
Where my skin touches ground
It's peeled off and falling now
I'm left with muscle and bone
Each taking penance as they bend down
I've dropped to my knees
Anger burns my eyes
Something left
From these burning wounds
The bones are collapsing
The cage will open soon
The beast growls
A reckoning is in it's snarl
I should fear it's primal call
But it beckons me
From bended knees and broken bow
I feel it's cold in my veins
Calling to me
One step closer now
The caged beast will make me complete
As I cast off this mortal shroud
Dancing wolves will answer me
Blackness of the void call to me
I hear your distant shout
Murmuring as I kneel upon the ground
I answer your call
Because it is the last sound
I have nothing more to give
No further to go
Skin has fallen and bones have cracked
I've burned the last of me
My offering is complete
Consume me
We'll be complete
The darkness is what we'll be
A monstrosity to all these light beings
A beauty to all who can see
I call to thee
Open the cage and set you free
**** the road to hell for all it seems
I've found eternity

The voices of a plague
Arguing every which way
They never cease except to agree on better pay
Until the Emperor stands
Quieting any in his way
The prisoners will be hanged
And the people are needing grain
Enough of petty and greedy mistakes
If the Senate is content to do nothing but harangue
Then the Emperor will rise from the grave
And squash democracy for tyranny
For the people's sake
So they can eat and live in peace
And that will be a bitter day
But Ceasar may already be on his way.

When the years have passed
After they have torn me apart
When I look down
And see my bloodied feet
I'll sit down and sleep
My wandering days no more
Or so I hope
Home is waiting
And I've been longing
For a place to rest my weary soul.

My lover of the stars
My giver of refreshing light
My singer of the afterlife
I want you tonight
Caressing me with midnight breeze
And bittersweet symphonies
Reminding me what I cast,
Of the life I've lived,
All the times I did
And never been.
The illusion of life came to me
I was only five
It whispered to me
Told me the way
And to never forget its face.
Now I take my place
My wanderings took me away
I understand what I was told long ago
And why I see the world this way.
I've entertained the scholar and the soldier
I've tasted poverty and grace
I've wept and smiled on many days,
Now I look in your eyes
I shrink under their might
And I'm raised beyond any height
I see galaxies and eternity in your sights.
Be with me tonight,
Master of my dreams
Healer of screams
Come with me
All of my being
Let us breathe
Show me a taste of freedom
A feeling of complete
My inner being

Dark and damp
A cube, five by five
Squirreled away from the light of day
Locked away
For protection
For who I cannot say
A child or a monster
Probably both
Pandora why did you shut the box?
Left in my care
Only one remains
Locked in each of us,
For another day
Hope wasn't let out to play
She stays inside the little box
Prisoner to us
I wonder if she despises us
For keeping her contained
I would release her
But this box of mine doesn't know how
So I'm opening the door
Letting child and monster see inside
The horrors and wonders hope provides

I empty myself
Let the cup run dry
As the goddess speaks
She promised me
It's what keeps my dreams
My dusty feet are worn
And I search for relief
She answers me
With wreaths and answers I can hardly surmise
The great divide makes it hard sometimes
Remember us! They plead
I emptied myself last night
Waiting for the goddess to arrive
She came right on time
What draws me is her connection to me
The shapes and colors I see
The ones that resound with me,
Are where I need to be
For this long hike into eternity.

Just hold me tonight
Don't say a word
Or promise a thing
I don't believe such things anymore
It's dark and I'm shivering
From the battle inside
Just hold me tonight
Don't ask me anything
Let me be
All I need is for you to hold me
I'll do the rest
Just be by my side tonight.

She had been wild once
It had coursed through her veins
Pumped her heart with pleasure
And fearsome embrace

Now in peace she resides
Or so they say.
The wild stalks no more
And darkness remains outside.

When the fields of sunflowers,
Rolling gently along the hills pass by,
She lingers
Longingly gazing at the open

Knowing if she laid in the fields,
This ancient land would swallow her.
A tender embrace
A grave, perhaps one she could call home,
If there is such a place.

I rarely write for others to see,
The extent of the darkness in me
How do I convey a monstrosity?

Dreams plague me
Most I could never repeat
Though they wake me from sleep.
I've seen the world burn a thousand times, it's brighter than any day
I've seen hate and men with twisted smiles on their face,
I've felt the spray of blood on my face and breathed the odd metallic taste
Dreams from which I cannot wake
A broken videogame I'm set to play.

I've been promised terrible things
Under the guise of truth hope was crushed in disgrace
My youth wasn't long to stay.
I write not in self pity or complaint
It has made me stronger than I thought I could be and made me who I am today
My words aren't always pretty to say.

Lovers and friends will come and go,
If they're true perhaps they'll stay.
The difficulty of today will pass,
Try not to wear its stains.
In the dark I've seen the other side,
Know when I say it'll be alright,
I've gone to hell and back to make that claim.

A wound not always seen
Or thought of seriously
Multitudes of colors for a clot
Red at the first pain,
Blue for the fresh,
And violet when it stains,
Green when it begins to die,
And yellow as it fades

Mine has started to ache
The blow was harsh
But the tears have passed away
I wish it were bruise
That I could ice and care for gently
But the pain runs deep
Not in the body but in my spirit
It took a beating the other day
It's been weary anyway

An assortment of colors I'll be
A box of crayons for anyone who looks deep
Perhaps instead of the ache,
I'll draw and paint
Make use of my colors
And find a blank page.

It came about in the strangest way.
My heart sitting on the divide
Wondering why.
The fault was never in the stars
Ceasar is not better than me.
It was written this way
Three fates cutting strings.
Arts and wars
Walking through doors.
Death's wife sleeping in the night
It was written all before.

Shouts of a rigid mind
Clawing and screaming all the way down
Welcomed to the place of no bounds
Feeling too empty and full inside?
You're not alone
Sit on down
I hear things haven't gone your way in a while
A vicious cycle you say
I know the route
Tell me how it came about,
An old pain stuck around
Kept itching and burning
Festering until you rubbed it raw
The pain made you think
Question some of your preconceived cogitations
Deep down you knew what you had to do to learn this time around
A little stubborn you complain
Aren't we all I say
Tiredness skulking in the corners
I've done many rounds
That's why I smile and listen
It warms my ancient self
Makes the loneliness a little less
Something to be proud about
So please sit on down
Tell me about the joys and woes your journey has taken you to
I'll say little
If you ask I'll tell a story or two
You may have come screaming down
If you allow, I'll show you why this fall was the best thing to happen to you.

Fear is love that's turned sour
It tries to poison your mind
That's okay
We all lose to it some days
Which fear creeps within?
The virus,
The economy,
Insanity?
Or perhaps all three.
It'll be alright
Fear just blows smoke in our eyes
Makes us forget we're the scary things at night
No one owns your life
Even if they behave otherwise.
If you break,
You'll get up just fine
You aren't alone even if it feels that way sometimes.
It'll be alright
Nothing lasts
Not the good or the bad
Only you
Making the best of both either way.
So write your words, speak your peace
Someone ought to hear it
They probably needed it today
So they know it'll be okay.

In the forest black,
Where Grimm tales stand alive,
The sun shines upon the forest floor.
Covered in the dead
Rotting to feed life,
An ode of decay that smells fresh,
Of pine, oak, lavender and elderberry.

Late summer kisses the leaves,
Leaving a brittle leaf,
Fading yellow and wishing their trees sweet release.
Tall massive trunks reach out to the sky,
Like children asking for a parents embrace
How they creak when the sky ruffles them with breeze.

The mushrooms feast,
Offering those who dare to stop and eat,
A host of certainties,
A full belly, death, or a visit to divinity
An ecstasy of colorful soliloquy,
The forest gods smile you see.

Willow leaves, twisted vines
And whispering trees
Sing of Fall and Spring,
Knowing their ghosts will rise,
Come Allerseelen the forest will exhale,
With misty tide,
Cyclic rhythm will beat
Of death, life, and all in between.

Once I wrote
It was free
And I drowned
In what I thought and what I feel
I found no limit to myself
And on this journey
I discovered
It started where I ended
With some words I wrote
On a paper hidden
In a place I had forgotten

The stools are hard
And the counter soft with treated wood
Metal trashcans turned over for tables
An unfinished game of checkers in the corner
Faint scent of burning frankincense
A group stands around outside
There is a bonfire tonight
They laugh and joke
Forgetting life for a little while
With a pint in hand and smiles grand
While you and I sit inside
Tasting a new ale that's come around
Watching the clouds come in
You complaining over the match
An old game but somehow your city lost
I nurse a bitter ale though it's quite nice
Enjoying the voices of this small town
We toast like they do in your home
Nazdarovya!
To our health

I've been alone even in company
Maybe it will always be so
My heartbeat echoes beyond me
Yet it beats alone
Unanswered
Alone I ache
Desperate to share the load
But I do not wish my burden on another
A sacrificial soldier,
Is what my heart makes of me.
How can it weep asking for relief?
When it cannot see it's making a martyr of me

I saw life and death,
Life in this here afterspell
For all its horror and beauty
It was an aftersight,
While death wore weary eyes
Begging for one more sleepless night

From all the fires of dying eyes
To the fields of pure sight
I saw myself wander from dusk to morning light
My memorial engraved in stone
My life with no dates to divine
How I came or left undefined
Time a mere observer of my soul's journey of the night

Leaves of amber and red
Yet remains of smoky skies
A dying year preparing for winter's cold embrace
Linear shadows facing away
While mine bends the light
A serene grieving time
Grieving is rejoicing another's life

Have you heard the call home?
Do your dreams speak of the untold?
Does your inner world breathe life all of its own?

A bird of lofty heights soars
Its call a beautiful longing
Claiming the skies home

Pain written in lyric lines
Of caged rage
And nooses of rough twine

Snowy nights
Followed by sunny days
Whittling sticks of time

How's it all relate?
Freedom is a dangerous game
It flies in the face of proclaimed right

The heart betrays they say
The mysteries await
Enter Fate

The creek babbles just outside
Aspen leaves blow gently in the moonlight
Mice scurry for the snacks they think we've left behind
Despite the chill I'm warm tonight
You lay beside,
Breathing softly, asleep
It is the last night
Your arms wrap me tight
It's been a long time
But my empty feel persists
Knowing my thoughts betray what's inside,
Once again our ships are passing in the night
My thoughts scream
It wasn't meant to be
I ignore them for a taste of life
Just tonight
I know I'm free
A blend of pain and peace
Will it always be?
Let me sleep
Falling with nothing but the creek and trees
I hope they catch me before the scream is released.

I once saw a swarm of flies
It was night
I was a child, a passenger with belt tight
No moon illuminated the sky
A lonely road with no one in sight
Only headlights
Lighting up the two laned road
South was reservation land
Filled with old mystery
And legends I grew hearing at night
North was a secret place
Government land, a base
Where some see lights or so they say
A lonely road bordered by these
With nothing but moths and flies
The night sky bright with stars
A streaking milky way
Our two lights making way in the night
A vortex of bugs numbing my eyes
An eerie feeling to be alone at night
Not a soul in sight
Even the stars watch with distant light
On a lonely road
The unknown on the left
Legend on the right
The road a fine line
My childish eyes seeing more than two lights
I see fireflies.

A willow tree
Breathes and shakes
Speaking wisdom in its quakes
A child waits for it to speak
From a story she long awaits.
A willow grove
Listen to the leaves that blow
Whispers from the old,
A child waits,
For a story that she believes.

Strung up for all to see
Hanging lifelessly
I see no reason to think you mighty.
It's one thing to ****
Another to hang it like a morbid trophy
No respect for the life it was,
Return it to the field and let it be
A beauty it once was even if you couldn't see.
Hanging corpses by the roadside
What have we become?
Or have we returned to the Romans of old?
Maybe some dumb kids with nothing better to do but chase a Coyote.
It hangs,
A sign we still have far to come
Before we can claim we are humanity.

Winter's tears,
Shed like the dying day
Until the moon rises
And the wolf calls home.
A child dreams,
Walking in certainty of all that never is.

I float in this empty ocean staring up at the night sky.
Hearing the whispers of my mind. Knowing I’m not home for every star is foreign in this life.

I watch the moon travel by.
It speaks of tales and woes it’s seen in every bright night.
I ask why it travels this lonely path.
It does not answer but keeps watch of me as it passes by.

This dark sky.
With little pins of light.
Circles over.
Ever night.

I float in this quiet ocean.
Rocked by gentle waves.
Watching the sky.
Searching for some distant light.
Because it's always night.

Hearing the whispers of my mind as the sky drifts by.
“How do you cry?” one asks and it clouds the sky.
Blocking the stars and leaving me to float in this dark night.
Sometimes the waters roughen, and I clench my eyes.
Remembering the stars of a different sky.

Here I lie.
Gazing up with each eye.
Every care drifting below the currents of this place I reside.
Pondering the silence as I wander by. Knowing somewhere the dark sky knows my kind.
And waits for when I no longer deny that this sky is not mine.