I crossed my legs and sat
Listening to the silver fox
Our shadows stretching in the moonlight
It's easier at night, he said
The shadows like to play and dance
It's how I came to know them
I've been the predator and I've been the prey
Both left me pondering what the stars say
Do they pity the mouse who lives to die?
Or praise the man who dominates everything but his life? he asked
I wouldn't know,
I've seen the mouse and I've lived a human life, I said
And now you aren't satisfied? he asked
I nodded
He chuckled with gleaming whites and said,
Like the shadows
It's an illusion you've lived
This is why we sit in the four winds
Each blows, saying it's time to grow
You're pulled all ways
But your mind has yet to let go
Release what you think yourself to be
And we'll begin the journey into the untold
First we'll roam,
There is a forest with haunted souls
Several are calling you home.

Should you ask of me
I'd give it all away
Light each broken candle
In eyes of grey
I'd find the silver in me
Make them gold
So they warm you in winter's breeze
Each drip of wax
Runs down my cheeks
Burning before its path is complete
Oil and sweet scents
Burn brilliantly
Each night I light what's left of me
Watch myself burn
Feel my warmth radiate through me
A thousand tears for each
Light the way
Twelve Candles
Lit in me

I turned on the gas till the flames took light
Watched the fire with flames in my eyes
Walked right in
Flames didn't even touch my skin
Cursed soul
Can't even burn alive
Heart tempered by starlight
Smoke in my lungs
Devil's child I've become
Special light
For every breath was my lullaby
Candlelight and explosions bright
The flames are the only time I feel alive.

My dear,
If I were to write you a song,
I'd surely fill my lungs

My dear,
If I were to write you a letter,
I'd surely kiss the sun
Burst into a thousand flames

My dear,
If I were to write your final words,
My pen would bleed
Of all you've been
And never seen

My dear,
If you learned I wrote your story,
Would you understand
Forgive me the tears
The loss within,
If you knew each line was a beautiful creation of mine?

My dear,
You are always mine
From infants cry
To burial time
Don't despair today
This line will become yesterday
You haven't seen my melodies or poetry
We'll kiss the sun another day.

Mighty pine
Age has rotted your branches
Your roots no longer caressed by vines
Your needles have fallen
Eighty feet high
You've touched the sky
Heard its whispers and sweet mysteries
Now you sway dangerously
A stiff wind shakes you horribly.

Mighty pine
You've seen seasons pass
Longer than many alive
Now it is time to rest
Your wood turns into a sweet smoke
An offering to the sky you reached
Freedom from your solid stance
A guardian you no longer need to be
Be free and kiss the sky for me

Have you heard the call home?
Do your dreams speak of the untold?
Does your inner world breathe life all of its own?

A bird of lofty heights soars
Its call a beautiful longing
Claiming the skies home

Pain written in lyric lines
Of caged rage
And nooses of rough twine

Snowy nights
Followed by sunny days
Whittling sticks of time

How's it all relate?
Freedom is a dangerous game
It flies in the face of proclaimed right

The heart betrays they say
The mysteries await
Enter Fate

My lover of the stars
My giver of refreshing light
My singer of the afterlife
I want you tonight
Caressing me with midnight breeze
And bittersweet symphonies
Reminding me what I cast,
Of the life I've lived,
All the times I did
And never been.
The illusion of life came to me
I was only five
It whispered to me
Told me the way
And to never forget its face.
Now I take my place
My wanderings took me away
I understand what I was told long ago
And why I see the world this way.
I've entertained the scholar and the soldier
I've tasted poverty and grace
I've wept and smiled on many days,
Now I look in your eyes
I shrink under their might
And I'm raised beyond any height
I see galaxies and eternity in your sights.
Be with me tonight,
Master of my dreams
Healer of screams
Come with me
All of my being
Let us breathe
Show me a taste of freedom
A feeling of complete
My inner being

Oceanscapes
Followed by swirled green
And jagged cliff face
Pinched between index and thumb
A child's hand
Small but fully in command
Sits the glass sphere
A world of fantasies
Ruled by the little king
He keeps his sphere in line
With all his other worldly glass
He counts and names them off
Declaring law on his domain
His galaxy until he grows up some day
He'll think of other things then
Until he grows old
And sees his old marbles
Will he wonder what happened,
To his peoples he created?
Or think himself an old man full of flight and fancy?
I hope he remembers
For the marbles sake

While falling down this dark hole
I stopped screaming and began to wonder
As dreams and memories became the same,
As voices soothed me from far away
Asking if I was really awake,
Was this pit reality?

A woman's voice so comforting,
Like cool ocean breeze providing certainty,
Washing over me in the dark
Is this memory?
Kindness drifting like fall leaves,
Gentle rains soaking parched feet,
Giving relief where I didn't know I need.

Falling erases memories
It scrubs clean the warmth
Leaving cracks that bleed
I've gone so far the ether speaks to me
Bringing me a cool sip of relief
Wet my aching throat
So my voice doesn't join the myriads of misery

The Ancients knew,
Tartarus was at our feet
The rivers of mortal life passing by without ease
Our shadows pulling another way
Bent on knees before the stars,
Asking for reprieve.

Hell isn't fire and brimstone
It's life unbelieved.

There is the poet who writes
Of broken hearts,
Love gone right and awry,
Then there is a poet who tells
Of lonely days,
Life's litte mysteries,
Another poet still will sing
Of beauty in nature's glory,
Of the seasons and roses,
The last poet will hardly be one at all
Not the most lyrical
Writing a soliloquy
From pondering love to moonlit nights
This poet will drown in thoughts
If you be a poet ask yourself one thing,
What do I leak?
Blood or poetry

I wrapped up my things today
Cleaned out my room and dusted the place
I tied a noose from the ceiling
And hung my heart from it, to air its woes
I sat and listened to it beat
Its constant thump echoing through the halls
Reminding me of this house in which I've grown
A house of bones
I know as I get older it will creak and moan
I count the scars in this house of mine
One, two, three..oh and one from when I tried to climb
I turn the faucets on so I remember it's okay to cry
I scrub the floors and paint the walls
Just to keep this house strong and all
I'm only a tenant in this house
But I call it home
This house of bones.

A record plays a scratchy song of yesterday
I sit down
Dust the weariness away
With some soulless rain

The sun sets
A reprieve from the snake
While my cares and apathy battle away
Seeking balance before the ending day

The words and thoughts are stale
I've tired of their endless debates
So I watch the sun set
Listening to Cohen play

I remember the day
All I felt and forgot
It may have been too much
That's okay

I know
And found a better way
A raspy tongue
Steinbeck feels the same to me

Some days I forget my way
I don't know what to say
My sighs are defunct
And silver is grey

Perhaps Cohen can light a match
Smoky voices and acoustic beats
Are beautiful today
After memory decayed

You look at me
Like you could command the sky and sea
If only the sea didn't thrash
And the sky wasn't so vast
It brings a smile to my weary face
The darkness in the eyes,
The pain hidden inside
My dear I've written those lines
It's why you feel safe in my sights
A port for a storm that's raging inside
You found something you like
If only I didn't thrash and seem so vast
Perhaps you could find mastery
But these are foreign seas
And the sky is storming, see
I see you looking at me
Wistfully
My dear, I am the sky and seas

A bird flew today
Through the leaves
And trees
Knocking dying leaves from their keep

A bird fluttered today
In my heart
Or in my stomach
I never knew

A bird left today
Taking the warmth
And summer daze
With prompt haste

A bird told me today
To take it easy
Let myself be
Spring will come

For now let death have its peak.

I once saw a swarm of flies
It was night
I was a child, a passenger with belt tight
No moon illuminated the sky
A lonely road with no one in sight
Only headlights
Lighting up the two laned road
South was reservation land
Filled with old mystery
And legends I grew hearing at night
North was a secret place
Government land, a base
Where some see lights or so they say
A lonely road bordered by these
With nothing but moths and flies
The night sky bright with stars
A streaking milky way
Our two lights making way in the night
A vortex of bugs numbing my eyes
An eerie feeling to be alone at night
Not a soul in sight
Even the stars watch with distant light
On a lonely road
The unknown on the left
Legend on the right
The road a fine line
My childish eyes seeing more than two lights
I see fireflies.

Once I wrote
It was free
And I drowned
In what I thought and what I feel
I found no limit to myself
And on this journey
I discovered
It started where I ended
With some words I wrote
On a paper hidden
In a place I had forgotten

I saw life and death,
Life in this here afterspell
For all its horror and beauty
It was an aftersight,
While death wore weary eyes
Begging for one more sleepless night

From all the fires of dying eyes
To the fields of pure sight
I saw myself wander from dusk to morning light
My memorial engraved in stone
My life with no dates to divine
How I came or left undefined
Time a mere observer of my soul's journey of the night

Leaves of amber and red
Yet remains of smoky skies
A dying year preparing for winter's cold embrace
Linear shadows facing away
While mine bends the light
A serene grieving time
Grieving is rejoicing another's life

Waters edge
Horizon line
Knelt beside
Drinking cool light
Currents swiftly passing by
Of nocturnal light

The edge of creation
Event horizon's light
The void pulls tight
Wrapped in rings
Drifting inside
I wonder
About the light
And dark

Mates
Whispering sweet carnal things
Of destruction and delight,
Morning dew
A lovely hue
Burned by day
Frozen by night

The edge of light
Dancing like it'll never die
Immortal taste of life
Brash and defined
Luminescent
Passionate
Etherally wise
Bringing tears to eyes

I wish,
I didn't float so easily,
That my lungs didn't rejoice so with cool air,
That the night sky didn't fill me with longing,
That my thoughts didn't touch eternity every night.

I am,
A million lights and a void with nothing in sight,
A tempest given form,
An echo of past life,
A sunrise and sunset folding into endless light,
A storm of unparalleled might,
The child of my dreams crying at night
And the one who comforts her each time.

I will,
Attach my willowy ways to sinew and bone,
Stick my feet in the Earth,
Find peace in my temporary home,
Ask the highest of you
And not think less of you when failure is due,
Be the gentle breeeze caressing your face,
And the violent hurricane bringing change,
Be the storm inside of my wildest dreams.

Do you hear the creak?
Of the wooden sign breaking free
This is Dead Man's Ranch
The horses died long ago
And the cattle don't graze any more
The plains wait for none
Thundering clouds beating down
On this blood soaked ground
A sacred town
Of dead and cultures long gone
Beneath the dusty bones
Are the lives who worked this ground
Can you hear their shouts?
Few can hear these calls
This country life is dying now
The last son loaded what father gave him
A piece of lead to protect this hallowed ground
Here he sits with the dead all around
Saying nothing as the dust stirs
The final beat of generations sound
Dead Man's Ranch
Listen now

Dead light
Passing by
More alive than you or I
Released into ether
Held by past memory
A balloon in a child's hand
Looking for ancestral might
Connection in our changing lives
Something to grab hold of
When the storm blows by.
When the light fades,
And I close my eyes
Let me go
I'll always be here,
In a cool breeze when the sun is high,
In the storm bringing water when the ground is dry,
And in the smile when you cry
A ghost I will not be
I'll exist in everything.

Voice ringing out silently
Where only shadows go
Memories coming round
Faces of the untold
They came easily enough
Seeking some sound
Silence knows no bounds
Breaking these walls down
Underneath was abandoned and cold
Dark shadows come
Their quiet gazes strike home
Breaking the heart's hesitations
Shadows where do you roam?
Have you found home?
Creatures of light and void
You understand the struggle within
Won't you stay?
Help me find solace within this shadow of home
Shadow calling was my gift
Born from grace in the unknown
Where darkness flows
And light bends to grab hold
Hear my calls
As I empty my soul

I disembarked at the last stop
It was fate
Though I didn't know it then
They said I would need to be patient
A foreigner in a strange land
I took jobs of all sorts
And did my best to always make amends
I learned to laugh and joke
As well as any native did
I made myself a life
Thinking nothing of the past
Until I found my ticket one day
Stamped at entry so long ago
I tried hard to remember my life then
Only to come up short
So I went to the port
And asked for any who knew me
Only one answered
Though his mind seemed less than sharp
He checked my ticket
And gave me a toothless grin
The last passenger he said
You stayed till fate released your hand

I stand here in morning rains
Grey skies
Surrounding me
I open up
Like the flower beside
It's cold
And drowning rain
Rinsing my soul
Of weary stains
Wet my eyes
Of tears needed yesterday
My soul was fixed
Lighting me with why
A melancholy scheme
Wandering the sky
A bird seeking home
Knowing its age is gone
Finding tranquility in pouring rain
Wet globes of home
Quenching dry eyes
Quintessence of solitude

Roaming through
No place else to go
Shadows call
Home wasn't here
The place where the burden goes
Shoulders aching
Under the load of a silent woe
Just a moment
An echo of home
Rest these weary bones
Violet rich
With eyes of storms
Soothing touch of otherworldly forms
Take me home
Where freedom roams

I wrote a dozen poems in one night
A dip into memoryscape
Take my hand and hold it tight
I've remembered the way
A place of serenity in my sights
My footsteps mark the place
I need a companion to remind me it's alright
Someone to grant me a little time
To reassure the pillar of its might
Wise man's knowing why
Needs the understanding Seer's eyes
The soldier needs to hold his weapon tight
The traveler needs a memory of home
And the seeker needs to know there is light
Empty eyes need sight
Relief comes one step away
Do not grieve me as I go
Empty eyes have glimpsed a sight

Like every day it comes and goes
A number on a page
Of September moon
The sixth day just like my great-grandmother
Except she she was in 1920
I came on Labor Day
My mother says she took the meaning seriously
But that was many years ago today
Three, six, nine
I've got them in spades
My poker face hides the smile that never fades
Born in dying heat of Autumn blues
Refreshing cool and end of summer
Have always been my restful cue
Twenty-seven may it be a good year for you.

Have you ever seen the moon rise
Fall on high tide
Echoes of cold light?
Have you ever looked in a pool of silver
Gaze at the reflection staring back?
Both speak of silence
Moments of thought not easily described
Have you witnessed the light in your eyes?
Or the pull and push of your tides?
At night when all is quiet and the world sleeps,
Have you looked inside?
Reflections
Real or not
What does the mirror say?
Of your windows and gates

When today sheds its skin
And becomes yesterday and tomorrow
Will the longing of today be spent?
The call of the void fading
As I close my lids
Echoes of past and future tense
Coming like horsemen
Demanding what I fear to give
One last breath before I slip
Into the soul's domain
One last look where my body lay
I hasten to hear what the soul has to say,
It's begun
Tell them I have come
And let go what you think you must become

You looked about twelve
With hair that had grown dark
You were gangly and thin
And could run fast
I chased you through the field
To that lonely hammock
Swinging in the breeze
The shade of the tree keeping us cool
On a warm summer day
The sky was so blue
You asked why I didn't smile like you
Or had fun the way you do
Looking long and hard
That youthful face came anew
The smile when I'd climb a tree
Or any other height
The scrapes and bruises from building a contraption or two
My smile did fade
And my eyes did dim
Now that I look at you
Can I play with you?
So I can remember
All the things that took me from you.

He went to a bitter place
There was too much hate
Perhaps that's why the bottle was never far from his face
When the forks came he always took the darker way
It led him here to a gutter of a place
He was content to wile away
Until she told him to get up one day
He yelled and cursed
How dare someone disturb his disgrace
She said nothing and edged him toward a cliff
If he was so miserable why didn't he end it all today
He sputtered and complained
But there was no sympathy on her face
She gave him the option to either fall down the rest of the way or come with her to another place
He chose to go with her after some debate
She led him away and he followed cautiously
She never said a word on the journey
Until they arrived where the winds meet
She led him into the sea
He panicked when he was neck deep
But she drug him further
He cried and screamed, she was killing him
She laughed, asking how she could **** what's already dead
He protested that it could not be
She smiled and shook her head
Saying he had died in the gutter a while ago
He hadn't learned that he could move past it you see
She came to show him another way
But first he must release all he's been carrying
So breathe the water deep
Let the bitter man lie where your body sleeps
The only thing to lose is suffering.

I tied my laces tight
Bloused my pants and secured my vest
Canteens sloshing stale water
With a ninety pound ruck on my back
My buddy jokes I weigh just as much
A pen, knife, sunflower seeds and 550 cord
Kevlar helmet strapped to my chin
A sure weight slung on my shoulder
Its cool embrace always in my hands.

****** heels inside my boots
Exhaustion makes this dirt feel great
Embracing my rifle like a lover at night
I don't care I'm atop rocks and brush
I'd sleep on the firing line or in a ditch if it meant some shut-eye.

The air rocks with blasting sounds
Waking me from sleep
My exhausted mind hearing cries and shouts
I grip my rifle tight and silence myself
Hearing footsteps crack the ground
I should be scared I know
But all I feel is anger over my lost sleep
Fear slipped away the moment I laced my boots.

Ambushed on a lonely dusty road
My heart did not skip a beat
In the mud and pain life became a game
Grit my teeth and walk again
Laughing when insanity hits
Sleeping on shells
Rolling my eyes as the guys play a game of 'worse smell'
In it all I saw myself
It was too easy,
This road to hell
And I feared a soldier shared my cell.

Been looking in my well as of late
Saw my reflection on the watery face
I don't have much to say
There was plenty to hear
But I didn't want to listen
I was tired of its watery song
It's been quiet as of late
Leaving me with my wintry soul
It weaves and blows
Its direction unknown
Always returning with a story
Been looking in my well
Saw my watery face
Never dry as silence unfolds

Rise from ash and dust
Soughter bones until their tough
Call of the night
Is birth and death come to life
Resurrection cry
Rise from the ground to the sky
Bringing light on the darkest night
Combusting to bring darkness in the brightest light
Fly with me one more time
I'll burn us to the ground and make us new tonight
Magic born from ash and dust
Birth and death a cycle of rite
Hear the birth pangs and dying gasps
The balance of creation and destruction
Coming to life in fire and light

An old wooden shack
Built by hands long ago
Still ptotecting those inside
From storms and predators outside
A small hole appeared one night
In the roof just above where I slept
The black sky peered through
Threatening me with its vastness
So I might float away at night
A horrid black thing
Until a small pin of light appeared
Followed by another and another
And the hole was filled with pins of light
A starry sky
My first sight
Alone yet inspired
By these mystic lights
Is their cold light warm on another face?
Outside this barn of mine
Is the death of this life,
A traveler's delight
This hole shows me otherwise
My journey of the night
To starry skies of mystic lights

Through my eyes,
My human eyes
I saw you standing there
Afraid with eyes bright
Aglow with instinctual light
A hint of recognition sparking to life
A smile of mine
With kind eyes
Will they show you my compassion?
Sitting down in the moonlight
Waiting patiently while you pace
Wild and untamed with feral eyes
Nothing as beautiful as you roams the night
Our empty lives incomplete
You are free and I sit silently
Forever gazing at each other
Separated by mere shadows and light
My beautiful wild sight
I'll watch you every night

I sit down to write quite a lot
My mother knows this and seems to take it with some pride
I'm glad she doesn't see the sickness it hides
Every so often she'll ask what I write
I'll sift through loose pages and half written thoughts
The story is too long, I mutter to myself
So I pull out the pieces of poetry
Scribbles really
Something that came to me in the night
A random piece of thoughts growing from thorns in my side
My mind a splintered and layered place
Hints of the darkness dwelling underneath the layer of light
Strings of my inner life
Wrapped in lines.
I hesitantly let her read
Some she smiles and says, that was nice
Others she reads and the smile slips from her face
She nods and says, that's my girl, a writer.
The sound of pride mixed with sadness in her eyes
She doesn't understand but she nods all the same
Proud of what I'm not sure
A hint of the darkness that swells in me is what she sees
And I know the pain it creates
My mother is proud of me even when it breaks her heart to see the sadness in me
And that is something I can't always bear to see.

Burnt orange
Pastel of pink
Intermingled with purple hue
Breathy haze
Of mountain cool
Aspen and pine reaching high
Meadows of deer grazing in dusk's light
A peaceful fading sight
Full moon rising
Broached by tips of trees
Beautifully rising night
Burnt orange
Of smoky skies
Mountains rising above the hazy light
Breathe this burning sky
One last time.

Drinking this earthy swill
Wearing shoes too small
Told a career would make me grow
Make sense of this all
Work hard and it'll all settle into place
Took a few years to see the lie
It's all shoes that are too small
College paying with paper straws
I'm too young for the looks I give
I'm too old to be singing this song
Let's go
Pretend we all know how the records spinning
Sipping cheap *****
Talking about the way the world's burning down
We're not living the way our grandparents did
Lost the house and kids along the way
We'll get there eventually
Or so we say
Was the job part of the game?
I forgot the password to play
Let me check my cat's middle name
Swipe my ID
For some digital pay
Slipping on my ill-fitting shoes
Remembering when it didn't feel this way
But the clocks struck 00
And now decade 20
The world's in a craze
But hey let's go
We're barely old enough to know any other way.

I am lazy when I write about you
It's not my favourite pastime
It's been some time, the scar mends
It's not so tender,
It can handle a confirmation or two
So the fact you did worse than I knew
Itches the scar but nothing more
I write to make sure the pain is released before it makes me its home again
They say it is better to loved and lost than never loved at all
I do not disagree
Despite this little white scar of mine
My only addition of wisdom,
It's a shame we can love one who doesn't deserve our pain
For me that was you
And now I forever bid you adieu

Someone once called me demure,
I didn't know the word
I looked it up that night
It stuck with me ever since
I'm quiet, I know
But the beast growls low inside
Begging for release
It distracts me sometimes
I don't hear what you said or I nod solemnly
To hide my inner longing to be free
I'll keep my face in the light
And I'll growl at night