As close as I would love to cling yet the further Iam from you is a sort of healing.
Being on the byline of obsession yet Iam trying to be on the verge of oblivion.
Custodian to your companionship yet I would love to be the cause of your hardship.
Dreams of you should be everlasting yet I can't wait to wake up and rid myself of the sting.
Eternal happiness is what I wish for you yet eternal hatred is what I wish upon you.
Fineness praising you yet I feel a sort of self -destruction when writing of you.
Grieving for my sort of delicacy yet
Iam addicted to you like Hennessy.

Dried baptist ink.
Unholy flings.
Please  don't  catch unwanted feelings.
It was nothing more than a link between two broken  people not wanting to be labelled.
Why should we label what we have or had?
We both know it's not going to last.
Is this a test?
You talking french now huh?
Throwing all that  "we" **** in my face.
Acting like you own me all of a sudden maybe you're just going through a phase.
Why you acting "woke" all of a sudden?
Telling me what I can and can't do.
You don't own  me,no can't do.
Careful with that french you  throwing around.
Careful not to lose yourself in all that jealousy you spewing around  maybe  if you bite your tongue I might just come around.
Throw me off that high pedestal that you praise so much.
The view up here  is not all that much.

Thrown into a sea of perfection.
Drowning under the falsity of cosmetics.
A fake smile is more geniune,
you taught me that.
Covering myself up with what you find ideal.
Starving myself for your love,
turning a blind eye on the bruises you leave everytime I slip up.
I have memorised your words by heart,
tattoed them on my wrist.
I hear them everytime I breath.
"LIVE UPTO MY PERFECTION"

Your throne lies vacant.
It is nothing but dusty,old wood now.
It has nothing nor nobody to stand for
yet it refuses to fall.
You've made peace with the wind,
became one with the wind.
Your smile is gone
but it refuses to fade from my mind.
Your laughter still echos from these walls
but refuses to be heard as more than a whisper.
I miss you,
there is no simple way to say it.
I still yearn for you,
there are no simple means to prove it.
I still love you,
there is no simple way to feel but to still love you.

I gave you my heart.
A red veined jewel.
You played ball with it,
slam-dunked and passed it
and you painted beautiful art with it.
Tied it around your forehead just for show
with no purpose to live.
You just kept on taking,
taking without giving
with no remorse in the making.
I wore my heart on my sleeve around you
but all you did was rip the sleeve with my heart in tow.
You just kept on plucking the veins from it.
Deflating it vein by vein.
I was never good enough for you.
I was never PERFECT enough for you.
You created your own Halo
forcing me to bow down to you.
Me having to hide my tears
just so you could have something to pride over
was never an ache
yet here I am writing this with heartache.

Defined as the very darkest colour
like night or coal.
A colour used to define us,
to undermine and determine us.
Killed for wearing a hoodie.
Killed for breathing and being.
Our ''black'' blood is poured into white painted mugs
and when it can no more,
it spills over.
Our ''black'' blood is littered on the streets of THE BRONX.
All these injustice are slapped onto newspapers,
a few blogs and protests
but the justice system is never put to tests.
My black is beautiful.
My complextion has already granded me a million dollar tan,
my thirsty dry *** hair defies humidity.
My black beauty is earned NOT GRANTED
does not lose confidence when challenged.
My black is beautiful
therefore powerful
My black is swagg therefore never wag.

The marks and bruises on my body
daddy says don't show
His voice in my head
screaming  "don't tell"
Daddy says it's okay to be a *****
He says it's okay to earn what you eat
But then why do I feel filthy everynight after he is done?
Why can't I wash the filth away?
Is daddy doing something wrong
or is it just me?
Forget me
iam just being paranoid
Daddy is never wrong.